Tag Archives: Tony Botello

The demise of Jason Whitlock’s career with The Star has enraptured all of Kansas City media to such a large extent that I want try and help guide folks through this grieving process.

It’s not every day that such a prominent Kansas City media player loses a job and it seems that this town is without direction in dealing with the news. To wit, I have outlined the process that both Whitlock and Kansas City media watchers can use to overcome this setback, despite the fact that there really aren’t any other jobs out there for Big Sexy in the aftermath of his Star fallout.

Nevertheless, let’s try to at least start the healing.
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Over the weekend, I came to a crossroads in my life that I never imagined possible.

A flash of public boob was put on display and I found myself looking away in disgust rather than enjoying the sight. Savvy internet denizens already know what I’m talking about . . . The dreaded and controversial topic of breastfeeding in public.

I was in Overland Park when I noticed a 30-something mom whipping out a pale, floppy, horrible-looking teet and I couldn’t help but avert my gaze in disgust.
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Sadly, there’s a bit more evidence that everything the Greater Kansas City area embraces usually disappoints.

I never believed that a local community investing millions in a sport based almost completely on cars making left turns was a wise financial decision.

Further, it seems The Great Recession and finicky temperament of discount audiences makes the economic consequences of the Unified Government putting so much faith (and taxpayer funds) in NASCAR seem foolhardy.

Like it or not, NASCAR is losing market share and there’s no guarantee it will ever come back. Of course, this bad news for a struggling sporting event that typically coincides with increased dependence on suckers from The Greater Kansas City Area. Not so coincidentally, the announcement of an added race at the Speedway was played up like a victory in the mainstream media but really only represents a desperate cry for help for its fans who are going broke as well.
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I want to share a quick Summertime thought…

Because it speaks to the way hipsters and local middle-class pretensions can ruin something intrinsically good.

Ice Cream is one of the last simple pleasures our society allows. Yeah, it’s bad for us, but for the most part most people don’t go around eating Ice Cream all the time. So as an indulgence it’s accepted. Hey, even fat women are allowed to enjoy ice cream from time to time without feeling too much shame or enduring much scorn (from me).

Unfortunately, Kansas City is at the epicenter for meaningless competition among the petty bourgeois. And in the war of “one-upmanship” and “Keeping up with the Jonses,'” local merchants have mercilessly transformed the simple ice cream cone into a casualty in their battle to court customers.
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Today I come with an important warning for all of the locals aspiring to greatness.

Recent events related to well-known residents have led me to a rather obvious conclusion that still needs to be highlighted. The warning is simple: Local residents who identify too closely with Kansas City will ultimately find themselves at a disadvantage.

I’m calling it: The Kansas City Curse of Mediocrity.

Let’s explore this phenomeon together and I’ll provide some rather frightening proof.
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For a basement dwelling blogger, the myth that holding a woman captive against her will could ultimately elicit true love is an enticing fairy tale.

Nevertheless, it’s hard to believe that people still actively encourage kids to unquestioningly consider the themes underlying Disney’s Beauty And The Beast currently playing at The Starlight through August 15th.

The story is forged from a 17th Century work so perverse and twisted that it’s obviously authored by a French woman. The current incantation is really more of a musical reenactment of the 1991 Disney movie that has ruined the dating life of most 20-something American women. Even Oprah knows that nothing is more dangerous than waiting for someone else to change.

Still, there is no arguing with the success of this ode to Old World relationship misconceptions.

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Leave it to this town to devise yet another scheme in which the entire metro area can worship something big, dumb and white without any serious questions about the cost or benefit to this Cowtown.

Seriously, the last time this town was so enamored with something this large and pale — Jared Allen was playing for The Chiefs. And we all remember that ended in disappointment as well.

In this instance, what’s so disgusting is that the price tag has been underplayed. $11 million is just the beginning of the expense to keep Kansas City’s Polar Bear in nicer digs than most people in this town will ever enjoy.

Let’s really put that number in perspective:
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Across the metro area the only thing that was obvious during the primary election is that political access for the masses is getting harder to attain for people without deep pockets.

The Tea Party hoped to galvanized grassroots support from cable news watchers and turn it into electoral power but the victory of middle-of-the-road Republicans like Jerry Moran and Kevin Yoder proved that well connected and well funded elected officials simply brought more skill and knowledge to the game and that ultimately earned these RINOS their respective victories.

In Kansas City Proper, the most hotly contested election pitted a multi-millionaire (Jim Nutter, Sr.) against a well-organized special interest (Local 42) in a race where only 12% of registered voters bothered to show up and cast their ballot.

Throughout the metro area individual votes didn’t count for much, so yet again it was voting blocs and big money that ruled the day.
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My writing isn’t always about snark and Kansas City hate. Sometimes, I really do wish people the very best. To wit, I’d like to congratulate Kansas City’s most gully PR Dude Will Gregory given that KCC was recently informed he just “slipped one past the goalie” and is soon to have a baby with the sweetie he recently wed — Erin Curtin Gregory. Consider this the official followup to Kansas City’s “wedding of the year” that we missed.

Without question this news of the blessed event certainly offers us all hope that something wonderful can come out of a collaboration between two of Kansas City’s most powerful Public Relations professionals other than really effective spin.
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It’s often overlooked that Kansas City’s biggest daily newspaper is part of a corporation more than anything else.

And in business there’s really no room for civic pride in any other form than marketing. Just ask all of those allegedly patriotic companies that have outsourced so many jobs overseas. Speaking of which, if anyone wants to defend the local pride of the newspaper they might want to remember that a great deal of the digital work done by the Kansas City “paper-of-record” was shipped off to India not so long ago.

Therefore, I’m not surprised to see our hometown paper pushing the interests of Omaha for a few bucks despite the fact that the City to the North is well-poised to steal this town’s position as the premiere destination of the Midwest.

Let’s see how:
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There’s a misguided perception going around that local merchants, retailers and restaurants are somehow intrinsically better than the national corporate fare.

It’s a nice thought that unfortunately has nothing to do with reality and is mostly a marketing scheme cooked up by local PR hacks who have screwed themselves silly carrying on adulterous affairs with media chicks with exotic accents but would otherwise only rate a solid 7. Maybe the ends justify the means but now that I’ve had the chance to go to a few local establishments, I wouldn’t give a local establishment any special consideration simply because they’re local.

In fact, as with most things strictly Kansas City, mediocrity is often tolerated simply because of a local connection. Certainly, this is the case with so many Kansas City restaurants.
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To me, the best thing about all of this fighting over Jason Whitlock’s career plans is that very little of it will ever see the light of day in print form which is one of the many reasons that everyone currently working at The Kansas City Star deserves to lose their jobs.

First of all, let’s put things in perspective for all sports fanboys who have most of their worldview dictated to them by the d-bags at ESPN: Jason Whitlock isn’t important and represents nothing more than corporate investment in a content provider. Put simply, very few people would ever read the guy without the infrastructure of a dead tree institution that loses money by hauling his opinion out for tens of thousands of old ladies and retirees. All of his other gigs are based on his print column and the daily newspaper apparatus that’s slowly going the way of the dodo bird. But I digress, this is really about so-called champions of free speech working harder to suppress stories than report them.
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Even in this age of limitless options, there’s something to be said for selectivity.

And it’s simply the vast array of nearly limitless options at this year’s Fringe Festival that turned me off to the whole thing.

Forgive me if I am seemingly echoing the the famous complaint of Emperor Joseph II about The Marriage of Figaro – “Too many notes, Mozart” (I only know that line from a cable movie that was on all the time when I was a kid). My criticism is simply about a lack of any real guiding philosophy or theme for the festival, not just a criticism of all the hipster jerks who think they’re smarter than anybody else.

On this subject, I believe that I’m correct. Let’s take a look:
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Larry Schnackenberg and his family have a lot of explaining to do but the local media is letting them off the hook after his high profile disappearance and then rediscovery took up a not-so-inconsequential amount of resources and broadcast space that could have been utilized for more forthright causes.

Meanwhile, Mike “Never quite found a job in PR” Hendricks argues for public ignorance and a lack of any critical insight regarding mainstream media reporting. And I’m starting to believe that anti-crime activist Alonzo Washington has a point in pointing out the phoniness of this story.

The only part of the story that makes sense is the unwillingness of the family to be forthright about the guy’s reason for attempting to “go native” in the deepest recesses of the JoCo woods. Like it or not, their silence isn’t serving the public interest in missing persons cases.

Allow me to explain.
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I’m always astonished by the choices the local mainstream media makes when it comes to granting news coverage.

Right now I won’t belabor the point that dead Black guys on the Eastside don’t get top billing when it comes to mass media headlines. For reason we all pretend to ignore. Even worse, most media scholars (like myself) tend to agree that TV news and most other mainstream media news outlets tend to focus on the trivial. It’s a chicken and the egg debate given that the public allegedly require so many fluff stories and sensationalism to hold their interest. In the end, most newsies stay in the black and on the payroll by serving up a steady diet of junk food for the brain.

The latest example of lazy mainstream media decisions is that Westboro Baptist Church is in the midst of a Kansas City tour that should go mostly ignored if editorial decision makers cared more about the affairs of this town than attracting a crowd to their ongoing rhetorical car wrecks.

I know, I know. In the process of exposing the media hypocrisy I’m force to “name the puppy” also when it comes to the Phelps Clan.But get over that bit of cognitive dissonance and follow along for the much more important conclusion.
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It’s a long standing fact: Democracy doesn’t really exist in Kansas City.

Elections and so many civic issues are simply decided by a vast array of special interest groups. It would be pointless to rage over this process because so few voters are engaged enough to change it in the first place. What’s more productive is to look at the elements on the fringe and see the way these relatively small time groups grasp for their small piece of the political pie. Sure, anybody can rage over the influence of the The Greater KC Chamber of Commerce but that would overlook other small timers trying to play the same role to a lesser extent. For the most part, these groups don’t really matter but when elections are close (as many will be during this upcoming cycle) these groups wield even more influence.

So, not every so often, even the tiniest fish in this Kansas City political pond can pretend to maybe actually have a bit of power.
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There’s a silly notion going around town that success in the small time means something in and of itself…

Get it straight, Kansas City isn’t a stepping stone, it’s more of a way station for people on their way up, down or out. The exceptions that prove this rule are the few people who have found an equilibrium in this town and will never let go of their positions. Folks like Walt Bodine, Larry Moore, former Mayor Charles Wheeler and to a lesser extent Mary O’Halloran. They cling with a vice like grips to the ethos of Kansas City. And in their own way, these people and institutions try and run this town in much the same way sappy Hallmark sentiments born in this Midwestern burg seems to define K.C. life in general.

But for the most part, people with enough silly self-confidence to hold onto real ambition and the will to become a “master of the universe” should never plan on hanging around Kansas City very long. Similarly, there is nothing as sad as a Kansas City minor league team bragging about their success.

A few examples:
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I knew that white guilt would work in the favor of undocumented immigrants soon enough.

I just didn’t think it would happen this soon.

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Here’s a weekend look at even more ongoing failure. More than a few people have e-mailed me a recent offer from The Kansas City Strip that offers a great glimpse at their impending failure.

D-bags in the comments can offer semantics but by and large, discounts ALMOST ALWAYS signal desperation from a struggling business. It’s basic economics, when something is in high demand there’s no need to give it away.

From the outset of the Kansas City Trolley that took a loan from this Cowtown for half a million dollars, there were complaints about the cost. Now an Internet special signals that the architects of the local failure have taken those considerations to heart.
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As much as I despise the white flight that led to the ensuing “Golden Ghetto” greatness of Johnson County, I have to give them credit for keeping an empty blighted building away from the most visible part of their enclave.

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