Tag Archives: Kelly Urich
Starbeams: Top 5 Signs Your Labor Day is Gonna Suck, Driving Miss Kardashian & Plaza Teens
Kim Kardashian received a $450,000 Ferrari as a wedding gift from…herself.
It’s a white 2011 Ferrari 430 with a carbon fiber interior, $15,000 wheels, a see-through glass engine compartment in the rear and a ton of other features.
***Let’s just hope there isn’t there isn’t a video leaked showing Ray-J driving it.
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If you think the violence on the Plaza was bad a couple weekends back, this weekend a group of local teens plans to gather on the Plaza, get on Facebook and interact with their teachers.
TOP 5 SIGNS YOUR LABOR DAY WEEKEND IS GOING TO SUCK
#5. The only person who invites you to party is KC Mayor Sly James‘ son!
#4. You live in Kansas City North and the only cat sitter in the hood has 100 cats.
Starbeams: KC Schools Sellout. Rick James Son of Sly? Dead Cats & Lady Gaga Peek-a-boo
Former Kansas City Schools superintendent Dr. John Covington will make $225,000 this year as Detroit’s superintendent. And he took a $175,000 signing bonus. In other news, this morning I was walking through the Plaza and panhandler Jerry Mazer gave ME money.
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The Mayor of Kansas City’s son turned himself in on a charge of grabbing a woman and punching her last Thursday night at the Point nightclub near Westport. The 23 year old Kyle James posted a $500 bond. He was handcuffed during another disturbance near Power & Light District last month.
Wait a minute…is this a story about RICK JAMES?
Starbeams: Santa Lands SUV in KC Attic, Apples Fall on Jobs Report, iPhone 5 to Sprint
An SUV lost control, hit an embankment and landed in the attic of a house at 43rd and Kensington Wednesday. There was speculation the driver could have been drunk…or Santa.
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Kansas City School Superintendent, Dr. John Covington unexpectedly resigned because of conflicts with the school board. He is the 26th superintendent the district has had in the past 40 years. The good news? He can be my Facebook friend now.
Starbeams: Songwriter’s Death Reminds of When KC Still Mattered, Chivas-SKC, Light Rail
Songwriter Jerry Leiber, who with longtime partner Mike Stoller wrote, "Hound Dog," "Jailhouse Rock," "Kansas City " and dozens of hits, died Monday. He was 78. Once again, our top story is about people used to write about Kansas City.
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The much-anticipated date for Chivas Guadalajara’s visit to Livestrong Sporting Park is set. Sporting Kansas City will play the storied Mexican club on Oct. 12. That’s bad news for the Roeland Park Walmart’s sales on October 12.
Starbeams: Celebrate ‘Go Topless Day’ This Sunday, After KC’s New Plaza Kid Curfew
Sunday is national GO TOPLESS DAY. An organization called GoTopless is encouraging women to rally for the right to be shirtless in public like men. Completely unrelated, Janet Jackson performs at Starlight Monday night.
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The Kansas City City Council has imposed a curfew for Kansas City. The curfew is at 10:00pm for people under 16. 11:00pm for people under 18. And if you’re on the Plaza, P&L, Zona Rosa, 18th and Vine and Westport, the curfew is 9:00pm if you’re under 18. You can stay out later if a parent or guardian is available. I hear Casey Anthony is available.
Starbeams: Punk Kids & Lawyer Ban on Plaza Elicit Wave of Nostalgia
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Katy Perry packed Sprint Center Wednesday as concertgoers wore everything from purple hair to cupcake bras. But even with all that, I still couldn’t get her attention.
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People are stealing copper from the
KC SCOUT
signs, the signs that alert you to upcoming traffic problems in the metro. Specifically from the cameras that show traffic problems. The copper can then be melted to make pennies. So far, the only suspect is my stockbroker.
Starbeams: Royals ‘Bat’ Nightmare, Ann Taylor Plaza Riot & Vanguard Flashback
Good news! Nobody got shot on the Plaza last night, although, my wife did start a riot when she arrived at Ann Taylor one minute after they closed. You haven’t lived until you see an Ann Taylor riot.
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Passengers on a Delta flight from Madison to Atlanta were frightened by a flying bat inside the plane. People were yelling and screaming and the flight had to return to Madison as no one knew how to handle a bat. Begging the question, why were the Royals flying from Madison to Atlanta?
Starbeams: Pharm Aid, Plaza Security & Gary Amble’s Sister Elected Iowa Straw Queen
Willie Nelson and Neil Young need to do a benefit concert for their fans called Pharm Aid.
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Shots rang out Saturday night on the Plaza near mayor Sly James as his security shoved him to safety. Three teenagers were injured. The mayor says he’s getting serious about the violence with flash mobs and teenagers that seems to be increasing. In fact, he plans to inform Plaza Security about the shootings later today.
Starbeams: Move Over Farm Aid; The Top 10 “Aids” to Mend KC
The Chiefs‘ preseason started Friday with a 25-0 loss to Tampa Bay at Arrowhead. It was a meaningless game with nothing on the line. Or as the Royals call it; September.
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The Missouri State Fair opened this week. Eleven days, 300,000 visitors. Lynyrd Skynyrd had to cancel its appearance because of health reasons – huge blow to the African-American community.
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Farm Aid is today at LiveStrong Sporting Park. Other AID benefit concerts Kansas City could use:
Starbeams: Another Top 5 How Hot Wuzzits, Warrior Dash Overheats & Debt Ceiling
One last round of….HOW HOT WAS IT???
- It was so hot, Plaza Security couldn’t get comfy enough to take naps.
- It was so hot, the sequins on my underwear have been melting!?
- It was so hot, I stopped my car, popped the hood and drank the battery water.
- It was so hot, Farm Aid is changing its name to Gatorade.
Starbeams: Whitlock Stuck in Mayonnaise Jar & Garmin Zeroes in on Jumpin’ Catfish
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A poor coyote in Washington State spent most of the week running around with a mayonnaise jar stuck on his head. I saw this once while camping with Jason Whitlock.
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I’m not saying our national debt crisis is precarious, but today I saw my congressman at Check into Cash.
Starbeams: How Hot was it in Kansas City, Take Trois
The heat wave in Kansas City continues with no end in sight….
And you know what thatmeans, time for another round of…HOW HOT WAS IT?
- It was so hot, congress agreed to raise a the national debt CEILING FAN.
- It was so hot, my bank just installed a screen door on the vault.
- It was so hot, I didn’t even complain that CBS Survivor winner Danni Boatwright was topless in the studio Thursday!
Starbeams: Clay Chastain to China, Trucker to Jail & Willie to Ag Hall of Fame
China is trying to expand its high-speed rail service despite the wreck that recently killed 39 people. In an attempt to keep the project moving forward, they have asked Clay Chastain to collect one billion signatures.
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A green pickup stopped traffic for hours yesterday on I-70 west of Topeka. The truck was full of chemicals and covered with anti-government slogans. The man driving it was arrested. Chemicals? Anti-government slogans? If he’d have just made it to Lawrence, he would have been welcomed with a parade.
Starbeams: KC Cops Face Facebook, Whitlock Showers & Lara Moritz does Obama
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Kansas City municipal court is going paperless. Now officers will whip out a hand held computer, input your offense, and print a receipt right on the spot as you get a ticket. For an extra $20 he can post your offense on Facebook and poke somebody.
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Kansas City water services is asking people to conserve water because they’re treating 153 million gallons of wet stuff a month. That’s compared the usual 115 million. Most of the water is being used for watering lawns and then water main breaks suck up a lot of it. The record was over 200 million gallons in 2007. This was back when Jason Whitlock was bathing twice a day.
Starbeams: It Was So Hot in Kansas City That…
HEAT is the number one weather related killer. If you’re outside experts recommend you drink at least two bottles of water per hour. The excessive heat warning has been extended through the weekend.
SO HOW HOT WAS IT?
It was so hot Rupert Murdoch’s reporters were hacking phone lines to Sheridan’s.
It was so hot, Mike Shanin was seen wearing a 3 – piece swimsuit.
It was so hot, Nikita, the polar bear, called 1-800-BE-IDEAL for Laser Hair Removal.
It was so hot, people want to bring back Mayor Funkhouser for the shade.
Starbeams: How Hot Was It, The Second Coming
More – HOW HOT WAS IT?
It was so hot, my car over-heated shortly before I started the engine.
It was so hot, the Watson’s Girl called and asked for her pool back.
It was so hot Gatorade changed their slogan from IS IT IN YOU? To –
JUST GIVE US SOME LOUSY FLAVORED WATER.
It’s so hot, Tiger Woods has changed his slogan from IS IT IN YOU? –
WAIT A MINUTE…
Starbeams: KC Council OKs Backyard Chickens; Top 5 Cool Things
The Kansas City Council unanimously approved a measure that allows more people to have backyard chickens. You can now own up to 15 chickens but you must keep them at least 100 feet from your neighbor’s property.
TOP 5 COOL THINGS ABOUT HAVING CHICKENS IN YOUR BACK YARD:
#5. Makes it easy to call in sick with bird flu.
#4. You can finally get to the bottom of why they cross the road.
#3. In this weather, you’re just a short stroll away from EXTRA CRISPY.
Starbeams: Casey Anthony to Oceans of Fun & Katie Horner Issues Get Naked Advisory
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More people are killed every year by heat than tornadoes, lightning and floods. It’s no joking matter, and yet…
IT WAS SO HOT YESTERDAY – HOW HOT WAS IT?
It was so hot, disoriented Royals pitchers were actually hitting the strike zone…
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It was so hot, officials at Sprint Center were actually trying to get a hockey team…
It was so hot, Mackenzie quit whining about the studio being too cold…
It was so hot Casey Anthony was offered a job at Oceans of Fun…
It was so hot, people in Parkville were…
Starbeams: Great Mall’s Hot Air; Smokey & the Bandit to KC? Pulling Funk’s Junk
Hot air balloons will be in the air this weekend as the Great Midwest Balloon Festival comes to the Great Mall of the Great Plains. But that’s the backstory. Our top story – that The Great Mall of the Great Plains is still open.
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Facebook has teamed with Skype to create a giant video chat feature for Facebook users.
This is a breakthrough for Hearne Christopher because he’s not used to actually seeing the person who’s poking him.
Starbeams: The Top 5 Cool Things About Being 1,000 Years-Old ( Really)
According to a scientist in California, the first person who’ll live to the age of 150 is alive right now. And because of medical advances to control aging, the first person to live to be 1,000 will be born in the next 20 years.
THE TOP 5 COOL THINGS ABOUT BEING 1,000 YEARS OLD:
#5. At 900 A-Rod starts taking an interest in you.
#4. When 1,000 years old you reach, look as good you will not.
#3. It takes 3 months to click LIKE on all your Facebook birthday wishes.
#2. You live to tell future generations about the time the Royals beat the Cardinals in the World Series.
And the No. 1 cool thing about choking it out to Age 1,000 is…
