Tag Archives: Hearne Christopher Jr.
Car: The Myth of Fiat’s Slow Start & Possible Sex Scandal
This just in, the sky is not falling on the new Fiat 500...
"Fiat’s U.S. chief ousted after poor Fiat 500 sales start," reads the Nov. 21 USA Today headline.
Unfortunately, as often is the case, the reporting on Fiat’s slower than hoped for re-entry into the North American market has been accompanied with precious little perspective. With more than 20,000 Fiat 500 sales in the US and Canada, there’s no arguing it will not achieve its overly-optimistic goal of selling 50,000 units this year.
Now let’s put that and the controversial ouster of Fiat ‘s North American head Laura Soave in proper perspective.
Hearne: Midnight @ The Oasis; Occupy @ Wal Mart & Oak Park Mall Pulls Up Short
So you hung with the fam, got hammered and did the zombie thing…
More power to ya, but now you’re feeling a bit blue cause you missed out on those 46-inch Westinghouse LCD TVs at Target and didn’t even make it to Oak Park Mall for Midnight Madness, The Thanksgiving Edition.
Dude, that’s tough. But fortunately I did your dirty work for you and am here to tell the tale.
Wine, women, song – debauchery beyond belief – none were in evidence when I embarked with 14 year-old daughters Liza and Savannah for the Target store on Metcalf near Johnson Drive. We arrived at 11:54 p.m. Thanksgiving night to see a sea of people – hundreds – flooding and snaking around Target’s massive parking lot.
Today: T’was the Night Before Black Friday & All Through the Cowtown…
Let’s get right to the heart of the matter…
Greed is good – within reason. Face it, it’s the American Way. Without avarice – and its partner-in-crime marketing – we’d still be chiseling football scores onto cave walls. Flabby dudes would be stuck wearing loincloths at the beach instead of Speedos. And McRib would be the part of the Saber Tooth Tiger everyone threw away.
Which brings us to the Midnight Madness inflicted on KC consumers Thanksgiving night.
The mall and store openings born to a marraige of hype and tripe, greed versus need. Think about it. From a retailing standpoint, what’s the difference between dragging folks out of bed for a 6 a.m. sale the Friday after Thanksgiving and convincing them to bail on their families six hours earlier in the middle of the holiday?
For what? To do battle over a handful of cheap ass LCD television "doorbusters"?
Hearne: Rapscallions of the World Unite; KCC Wishes You a Happy Thanksgiving
In a universe where few holds go unbarred, it’s hard to come up with the words to express what passes for the gratitude of the KC Confidential family to our readers…
Especially given the vast majority of you have the decency, good sense and good taste to steer clear of the hardscrabble world that is the comments section. You’re a silent majority of sorts, albeit a very important one.
Is it halfway safe to assume that the 99 percent-plus of you who never comment are ardent admirers and true believers in the words set forth by the scribe-otherwise-known-as Craig Glazer? Or that your fondest desire would be to hug it out with me while professing that I can do no wrong?
Not likely.
Hearne: Thanksgiving Breakfast Dance Back & Bad w/ Mel Waiters, Denise LaSalle
One of the Cowtown’s most sacred pop culture artifacts has risen from the grave…
The Thanksgiving Day Breakfast Dance – a 30-plus year Kansas City tradition – died an unseemly death two years ago when longtime area blues promoter Roger Naber ran out of the time and energy to keep the ship of state afloat.
Two years earlier Naber had described the event thusly:
“It’s the largest running music tradition in Kansas City to my knowledge. I’ve been going to breakfast dances for 31 years now. And we’re expecting nearly 1,000 people this year on Thanksgiving morning with the talent we have. Johnnie Taylor’s sons are opening the show for Millie Jackson.”
The event goes down on Thanksgiving from 9 a.m. until 2 p.m. at the National Guard Armory in KCK.
Today: Shia’s Drunken Brawls, Tot Mom Assassination Attempt, Tyson Does Cain
Holiday gossip break, anyone?
There are some interesting stories in this week’s National Enquirer worth taking a gander at.
Like the "world exclusive" about – forgive me for borrowing the expression – Tot Mom Casey Anthony surviving an assassination attempt and being hastily moved to a new safe house in the middle of the night in a remote part of Florida after finding a scrawled threat taped to her front door.
Or how about director Steven Spielberg – whose long ago photo adorns a wall at Bryant’s BBQ – warning Transformers star Shia LaBeouf about getting hammered and getting into nasty barroom brawls as evidenced in photos of the 25-year-old actor getting his you-know-what handed to him in Vancouver, B.C.
Hearne: Karen Pletz Death Gives Appearance of Suicide
Here we go again…
With the seemingly obvious going unsaid. But the death of embattled former Kansas City University of Medicine and Biosciences head Karen Pletz would appear to be a suicide. The 64-year-old one-time civic leader was found dead in a Fort Lauderdale residence. Ft. Lauderdale police say no foul play was involved and that they are waiting to hear from the medical examiner.
Those full results, however, are not expected to be available for two to three months, says Broward County chief medical examiner Darin Trelka. Trelka declined to say whether Pletz left a note or address the issue of whether it appears to be a suicide.
However, one or both of the above would appear to be the case given that police say there was no apparent foul play and the medical examiner’s office is not making any efforts to expedite the examination.
Hearne: Star Dodges Layoffs Bullet, Bags Readers Again for Turkey Day Issue
Happy holidays from the Kansas City Star…
A rising economic tide (small but real) coupled with an optimistic outlook for retail sales this holiday season appears to have enabled new Star publisher Mi-Ai Parrish to dodge the layoffs bullet this quarter and make Christmas 2011 that much the merrier for the 700 or so remaining newspaper staffers.
Despite 3rd quarter earnings by parent McClatchy company down 21 percent and ad revenue off 10 percent.
That said, things are looking up on the home front.
Hearne: What Lies Ahead for Missouri Coach Gary Pinkel on His DUI Bust
Right now, the focus is on money and sports…
But the unasked and unanswered question facing Gary Pinkel on his DUI bust this week is very much about what lies ahead – not in the court of public opinion – but in the court of law. To that end, let’s take a look at what the Mizzou football coach is likely to be facing, according to "The Missouri DUI Guide" at missouridwi.pro.
"ISSUE ONE: The Missouri Implied Consent Proceeding: Under Missouri’s implied consent law, any person who operates a motor vehicle is deemed to have given consent to a chemical test or tests of the person’s breath, blood, saliva or urine for the purpose of determining the alcohol or drug content of the person’s if the arresting officer has reasonable grounds to believe that they have committed a DWI.
Today: Happy Holidays, KC Confidential Christmas Bash @ Jardine’s a Go!
I don’t want to rush the Holiday Spirit but…
This just in: the annual KC Confidential Christmas Wilding is slated for Monday December 12th at Jardine’s. That’s right from 5:30 p.m. until ? (alias 9:30 p.m), the staff, friends, foes and confused minions of KC Confidential are invited to kick out the jams – or not – at Kansas City’s top jazz club just off the Plaza. Recently remodeled and revamped, I might add.
Not that we’ll be pounding down jazz that night.
Think of it as Black Monday.
Car: Honk If You Love Jesus; Top 12 Gay Cars (Don’t Even Ask How Many I’ve Owned)
Don’t take this the wrong way, but…
Between the rancor over Craig Glazer‘s new, sizzling hot Lotus Evora – and the thumping I’ve taken over trading my earth-saving Toyota Prius for an ever-so-humble Fiat 500 – it got me to thinking. Because ever since Fiat’s J Lo TV spots began running during Chiefs games, all I’ve heard is how unmanly the little bugger is.
And clearly, the dudes who like to knock the Fiat most are Mini Cooper worshippers.
That despite the fact that the Mini lists for $5,000 more, has several inches less rear legroom and has 50 percent less trunk space. Yeah, the Fiat’s a bit slower, but it rides better, handles about the same and gets better mileage.
But back to the "manly man" stuff…
If the Mini’s so damn macho, why is it that nearly half its drivers are chicks?
And who exactly is buying all those Union Jack decals atop the Mini’s roof? Could it be women and gay car buyers? Which got me to thinking; am I driving a chick magnet – as some have implied – or a gay-mobile?
Exactly which cars are considered "gay" and are most popular with gay car buyers?
As Greg Hall likes to say, read on…
Hearne: How the FFA Screwed KC & We Got Stuck w/ R. Crosby Kemper Jr.’s AFA
It’s like this; once upon a time the annual National FFA gangbang was one of KC’;s most prized possessions…
From it’s inception, each October for 70 years, thousands of blue-jacketed farm kids clod-hopped their way here, dropping tons of dough while behaving well. They were colorful, plentiful, magical even. That is, until 1998 when Louisville stole ’em – walked off with our tourism crown jewel – and they’ve been gone ever since.
KC politicos vowed to get ’em back, but nearly a generation has passed since the 37,000-strong blue-jacketed farm kids last roamed the Plaza and Downtown.
Hearne: Unreported Truth; MU Coach Pinkel Backed Paterno, Blew Penn State Call
The mindless minions who rely on the print edition of the Kansas City Star for news were treated to this headline yesterday:
"Penn State News Disgusts Pinkel"
Unfortunately, what those readers are unaware of is, the Star‘s story was little more than a mulligan for the Mizzou football coach Gary Pinkel. That after Pinkel blew it badly last week on St. Louis radio, where he was not only not disgusted by the Penn State nightmare, he effectively came down on the side of its fired and disgraced football coach Joe Paterno.
Where was this reported? On former Riverfront Times alt weekly main man Ray Hartman‘s blog, that’s where.
Hartman’s headline: "Gary Pinkel Cuts A Little Slack For Joe Paterno"
No tap-dancing there.
Car: Move Over J Lo, ‘Wicked’ Fiat Abarth Debuts at Los Angeles Auto Show
Stand down Mini Cooper chauvinists, your Fiat 500 bashing days are numbered….
Make fun of the J Lo ad spots if you want, even though there’s no arguing that the Mini has been a total chick car as well from the get-go. However, as of now the Fiat’s "manhood" can no longer be questioned. Not after the "small-but-wicked" Fiat 500 Abarth is announced at the Los Angeles Auto Show.
So read it and weep:
Hearne: The Baby Lisa Story Nobody Else in KC (Including KCTV) is Reporting
As I’ve said before, some of the biggest scoops in recent years have been broken by the National Enquirer...
They may play a bit fast and loose with the celebrity fluff at times, but when it comes to nailing down news like the John Edwards love triangle or our own Missing Baby Lisa story, they play it pretty straight down the line.
Which brings us to the Enquirer’s "Twisted Secret Life Of Baby Lisa’s Mom" story.
Hearne: Houston, We Have Questions; Was Moon Landing Fake & Where R the Bluejackets?
What is it about astronaut quotes that make them so damn enduring?
From "One small step" to "Houston, we have a problem" – they’ve morphed from mere utterances into pop culture icons. And now that I’m trapped in Houston for the second time this year, it’s finally happened. I got kidnapped to the Houston Space Center – the home away from home of NASA – and forced by captors to take the new Discount Tire NASA Tram Tour. Which I can now report, is a bit of a snore.
In other words, don’t even think about canceling the family vacation to Bali Bali.
Not that I didn’t have a jolly good time, within reason, owing mostly to a college kid named Graham who was our tour guide. He updated me on vital NASA stuff like that after three long years on the job he’s still only making $8.75 an hour.
Houston, times are tough…
Hearne: Jason Whitlock Rips Penn State Coach Joe Paterno on MSNBC’s ‘Ed Show”
Long time no Whitlock…
Been a while since locals have had a chance to chew on former Star sports scribe Jason Whitlock’s cud. Other than his blog on Fox. Or the odd pissing match call to 610 Sports’ Nick Wright to rile up local sports bloggers.
But last night the straw that used to stir KC’s sports shake was live and large on MSNBC‘s "Ed Show" dissing newly axed Penn State football coach Joe Paterno.
"If he had an ounce of self-awareness – and he’s no different than the athletes, the young immature athletes (but) this guy is 84 – he would have stepped aside immediately," Whitlock told viewers.
Star Search: KC International Raceway, Eight-Year-Old Drag Racers Get Light Touch
Last year I embarked on a mission to blog the Kansas City Star each and every day…
To critique and comment on the news and views presented by the Star to by far the largest number of Kansas Citians reached by any other local news media.
What a genius stroke that was.
Two or three weeks in, it became painfully obvious that the job entailed bagging on the newspaper over-and-over for much of the same stuff. Frankly, I got tired of the nagging, so I backed off. The idea being that every so often, I’d trot out a Star Search column when the muse hits.
To that end, let’s take a gander at yesterday’s Star…
Today: Lawrence Journal World Scoops Star With KU Coach Bill Self’s Parting Shot
You know what they say in Lawrence about KU‘s home court advantage in basketball…
So it is that KU basketball’s hometown newspaper, the Lawrence Journal World, scooped the daylights out of the Kansas City Star in getting a reaction from KU basketball coach Bill Self on Missouri’s decision to leave the Big 12 for the SEC.
"KU’s Self not fretting over Missouri’s decision to leave Big 12 for SEC," the headline reads. " ‘Majority of Kansas fans don’t give a flip about playing Missouri,’ " Jayhawk basketball coach states."
Think of it as gorilla journalism – performed late at night Sunday in Lawrence where the Journal World’s Gary Bedore got the better of the Star‘s KU beat writer J. Brady McCollough.
“I think everybody hoped that Missouri would stay, but I don’t know of any Kansas fans that are crying over them leaving,” Self told the Journal-World Sunday night," while McCollough was checking his voicemail.
"Self was asked if the Jayhawks and Tigers would play again in men’s basketball, the Journal World pressed.
Hearne: Don’t Blame Mizzou for Bailing, Take a Look in the Mirror
When it comes to double standards, we’ve all got em…
So while there’s been no shortage of bellyaching about Missouri leaving the Big 12, why the vilification? All that hocus pocus about it being shameful for Mizzou to turn its back on family and friends in the Midwest. How dare they perform such a tasteless act of conjugal sports infidelity.
Is nothing sacred?
In a word, no. It’s been a lifetime since sports fans shed what few illusions remain as to professional sports teams true loyalties. Not since Babe Ruth left Boston to play for dreaded rival the New York Yankees. Who doesn’t recognize that today’s Green Bay Packers and Kansas City Chiefs are merely mercenaries. We root for them with a suspension of disbelief, just like when we pretend what we see at the movies is real.
Rarely do members of pro sports teams have much more than fleeting affiliations with the cities and fans that root for them.
