Today: Was Don Harman Involved in Missing Iowa Anchor Jodi Husentruit?

Since I was outted in the comments section by the first comment….

I’ll give you a brief update. I’m flying really low today with three deadlines and no iPhone. So I’m limited on my reporting time, but now that I’ve let the cat out of the bag, I suspect this thing’s gonna snowball pretty fast.

The law enforcement talk here is indeed that Fox 4 meteorologist Don Harman was spoken to last week by officers investigating a cold case murder that has recently been reopened.

To be fair, while that may be true, it certainly doesn’t mean that Harman was a suspect in that case.

The case of a missing Mason City, Iowa TV anchor Jodi Husentruit was reopened in September.

Huisentruit was an anchor at KIMT in Mason City at the same time Harman worked there before leaving in 1999 to come to Kansas City. Like Harman this week, Huisentruit failed to show up for work around 4 a.m. on June 27, 1995. She was never heard from again and declared dead in 2001.

Police found evidence of s struggle at her apartment along with her red Mazda Miata. Neighbors reported hearing screams. The case has been covered by "America’s Most Wanted" and "Unsolved Mysteries." It was unearthed again last February by Nancy Grace.

Three years ago copies of pages from Huisentruit’s personal journal were mailed to the local newspaper and then turned over to police.

What was in those papers? Good question.

But a recently fired Iowa police officer has made accusations that police may have been involved in the anchor’s disappearance. That remains to be learned, and police and the FBI are reportedly working on the case

That’s it for now.

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 93 Comments

Hearne: Fox 4 Meteorologist Don Harman Suicide May Prove a Shocker

At the risk of turning this site into a Suicide Zone I’m going to wade into the mystery of Don Harman‘s death…

If you followed my early reporting on the Fox 4 weatherman’s passing yesterday, you undoubtedly noticed that fellow meteorologist Gary Lezak – the guy Harman replaced in 1999 when Lezak left Fox4 for greener pastures – noted that Harman had serious issues with depression. A detail which seemed to be driven home by the fact that prior to addressing Harman’s death, Fox 4 posted its intention to do a story on holiday stress and sadness on its Web site.

Which seemed as if a reaction to what the station knew but hadn’t disclosed, that Harman had taken his life.

Having loaded up on suicide reading and feedback lately, the combination of severe depression and the holidays well could have played a role Harman’s sad, lonely final act. Then again, sources say Harman was handsomely paid – six-figures – and given Fox 4’s generally strong ratings and Harman’s popularity with viewers, it would not appear – on the surface anyway – that finances were an issue.

Harman with his wife and daughter lived in Woodbridge, a south Kansas City neighborhood where average home values in 2009 were $245,048 and the median household income $58,429. So from appearances anyway, he wasn’t living wildly over his head.

What then might have caused Harman to hang himself from the rafters of his house for his family to find?

I’m not going to go into it here, but the talk in law enforcement is that Harman was spoken to by police very recently about the possible reopening a cold case crime in another city. If true, count on the news breaking fairly fast.

I’ll be looking into it later today and try and report back as to whether there’s any truth to that rumor.

In the meantime a memorial fund has been set up for Harman’s family at the Tightwad Bank in Tightwad, Missouri (near Clinton). The phone number to call is 660-477-3500.

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 73 Comments

Sounds Good: Adam Lee@Replay, Wilco@Uptown & 96.5 the Buzz’s XXX-Mas@Midland

Has the relationship between Miss Piggy and Kermit ever bothered you?

Or made you think a little bit?  I’ve been seeing all these commercials for the new Muppet movie, and I think it dredged something up from the past that I had forgotten about.  Or repressed, if that’s what you want to call it. 

But I don’t need to get into that right now in front of all of you. 

Anyway, I noticed that all the songs in the movie are by Bret McKenzie, one half of the New Zealand duo Flight of the Conchords.  You know, the Conchords… with hits such as "Leggy Blonde,"  "If That’s What You’re Into," and "Albi the Racist Dragon."

(Think about it, though, and tell me honestly that you can’t picture Kermy in a leather hood with a zippered mouth. Be honest.)

 

Friday, December 2nd

 

Adam Lee and Pete Stein at the Replay in Lawrence for an *early show* – 6 pm 

Most Kansas Citians have probably heard of Adam Lee & The Dead Horse Sound Company.  Well, this Friday, Mr. Lee is going solo for an early show at the Replay.  Lee plays mostly country tinged tunes that tell tales of drinkin’, fightin’, cussin’, and kissin’.  His deep baritone hearkens back to the days of yore, bringing a more traditional country sound than some of the alt-country acts that get a little caught up in the hipster thing.  

Pete Stein is from Colorado, and his music is in the same vein as Lee’s, though he is a little folkier, accenting his songs with a wailing harmonica riff here and there.  He also fronts a band called Truckstop Coffee that Stein says is currently on hiatus while he pursues the solo troubadour thing.

Saturday, December 3rd

Wilco at the Uptown in KC

 

This show sold out in about 2.2 seconds, so if you don’t already have a ticket, now’s the time to jump on StubHub or Craigslist.  Wilco’s most recent album, The Whole Love, was released over the summer and has now had time to settle into the crevices of my fragile little mind.  While it’s not Wilco’s best effort, it certainly isn’t their worst, and it sees the band heading back in the right direction after they seemed to be drifting aimlessly on the last couple albums. 

Sure, there are a couple throwaways, but there’s also a couple songs that have the potential to be fan favorites, like One Sunday Morning and Sunloathe.  And Wilco’s live shows are always solid, featuring the maniacal guitar work of Nels Cline backed by sweaty-as-can-be Glenn Kotche pounding and smiling his way through the night.  Maybe Tweedy will even tell a joke. 

Also on the bill is Nick Lowe, writer and longtime producer for Elvis Costello and others.  Most famously, he penned the Costello hit (What’s So Funny ‘Bout) Peace, Love, and Understanding.  Lowe has been warming up the audience with solo acoustic versions of his hits, as well as some new ones sprinkled in from his recent release, 2011’s The Old Magic

Monday – Wednesday, December 5th – 7th

The Night the Buzz Stole XXX-Mas at the Midland in KC

 

Three nights, three shows.  Monday night has headliners Florence & the Machine, as well as up and coming indie disco-ers Two Door Cinema Club, and local act Cowboy Indian Bear, who happen to remind me a little bit of Two Door.  This night is already sold out I believe, but fear not, there are two more nights! 

Night two features 311, who seem like they’ve been cranking out mellow rap/rock since I was in diapers.  Also of note on this night is Surfer Blood, an indie band from Florida that got a boost over the last few years by being pimped by Pitchfork and other indie-cred-making machines.  

To close it all out are the Celt-rockers Flogging Molly on Wednesday night.  They’re joined by NYC’s electronic-pop duo Matt and Kim, as well as Company of Thieves and local product, Antennas Up.

Posted in Entertainment | Tagged | 4 Comments

Car: Rebirth of the Datsun 240Z; Subaru Poised to Unleash New Sports Rocket

Long time no affordable sports car…

Even if you count the Mazda Miata – not the most manly ride known to man – it’s been decades since a true, affordable sports car has been for sale in this country. Nissan’s 370Z starts at $31,000 and change but the price rises pretty quick.

We’ll have to wait and see exactly how Subaru prices this one but with an expected sticker starting around $25,000 it beats the Z Car by a considerable amount. That said, knowing Subaru’s penchant for offering an infinitesimal array of options and add-ons, it won’t be hard to drive up the sticker price.

The Subaru BRZ debuted today in production form at the Tokyo Motor Show.

The big emphasis being on the BRZ’s low center of gravity, for which the car was designed. With 200 horespower and a curb weight of 2,700 pounds it won’t be a rocket, but it should be plenty speedy and handle like a cat.

Low centers of gravity have long been a hallmark of Subaru’s flat-four, 2.0-litter Boxer engine, although this one is reportedly almost all new.

There’s no turbo (for now) to worry about and it will come with the choice of a six-speed manual or automatic. No word on the mileage, but a good guess would be low to upper-mid 20s. The rear-drive car is expected to hit showrooms in May. So may the force be with you!

Posted in Car | Tagged | 7 Comments

Donnelly: Karrin Allyson @ Jardine’s, November 28, 2011

The lights inside Jardine’s dimmed slightly as people were still shuffling into their seats…
 
In the sold-out room, the wine flowed freely as the staff rushed between the tightly packed tables.  It was just after 6:30 on a Monday night and Beena – the owner of this little jazz club situated on the end of the Plaza – was hustling, greeting patrons, and making sure everyone was in their proper place.
 
Several men in black fiddled with their instruments on the small stage.  One set up a couple guitars, arranged a music stand.  Another plucked and poked the thick strings on a stand-up bass.  They looked experienced, their hands on auto-pilot, tuning and prepping.
 
On stage right sat a grand piano that filled half of the tiny stage.  This is where renowned jazz singer Karrin Allyson would situate herself for most of the night…    
 
Allyson took the stage a bit before 7:00 to a nice welcome that seemed bolstered by some old friends, maybe some that remembered the singer cutting her teeth playing the clubs in KC prior to her move to New York City.  She smiled graciously but wasted no time with pleasantries before beginning with Harold Arlen’s "Loads of Lovely Love," following that up with Bill Evans’ "Turn Out the Stars."
 
Before even pausing to address the audience, Allyson was vamping on the piano, creating an arpeggio introduction that turned into a sweet version of Paul Simon’s "April Come She Will," which is recorded on her latest album, ‘Round Midnight.  Allyson’s straight-forward singing style lent a simplicity to the classic ballad, which was the highlight of the first half of her show.     
 
A few songs in it became apparent that one of those aforementioned men in black- guitarist Rod Fleeman– would make a run at stealing the show.  He ghosted his way across the fret board providing a subtlety in his stroke and his finger picking that looked effortless and was absent of any percussive pluck.  Fleeman rocked back and forth, flashing the occasional smile to no one in particular as he witnessed and created small musical moments that amused him.  He finally opened it up even more on the fourth song of the night, offering a smooth buttery electric solo to accompany the bouncy walking bass line of Mose Allison’s "I Don’t Worry About a Thing."
 
The crowd took notice, and offered their hoots of approval and ample applause.   
 
Allyson then introduced another player who took the stage, harmonica player and KC native, Randy Weinstein.  He joined in on the rest of the songs, providing a nice texture that was at times horn-like, suggesting even a hint of clarinet or oboe.
 
As the set progressed the band seemed to loosen up little by little, and Allyson’s voice explored styles as varied as Brazilian bossa nova, pop, and straight-up blues, some with more success than others.  Her delivery was consistently impressive in its ability to convey emotion while remaining markedly understated in its delivery.  There was no belting it out here, no soaring or swooping.
 
On the title track to her latest album, "‘Round Midnight," communication between the band mates broke down a little and Allyson had to call out the change to keep everyone together.  “That’s my fault, I’m sorry,” quipped a steadfast Allyson as she righted the ship mid-chord, steering the ensemble to the proper place from her seat behind the piano.
 
From that point on, the four person group seemed to focus their energies even more, as knowing nods and gestures accompanied each solo, bridge, and coda with Allyson leading the way.  A steady groove settled in just as patrons neared the three-drink point.
 
Allyson seemed to relax a bit, too, as she refreshed her vocal cords with a sip of water.
 
“I like water,” she said.  “But I prefer champagne…”
 
A couple standards later, the best song of the night, "Say It (Over And Over Again)," lilted softly around the room.  A barely audible Fleeman again deftly soloed underneath Allyson’s smoky sweet vocals.  She almost seemed to cringe in order to pull just the right emotion out of words that wouldn’t sound as weighty from a less experienced singer.     
 
To end the night, Allyson took a request and performed "Autumn Leaves" as well as one of her own, a funny, gritty jazz number about making the most of a situation called "Right Here Right Now." The song summed up the down-but-never-ever-out sentiment that comes through in Allyson’s performances and recordings.  
 
And judging by the mood of the room afterwards, I think that attitude rubbed off on the audience too.    

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Hearne: Fox 4 Meteorologist Don Harman Takes His Own Life

Here we ago again…

Yet another well-known Kansas City personality – Fox 4 weather wonk Don Harman – has taken his own life.

"He was a really good guy, a funny guy and he had a nice edge to him," says fellow meteroologist Gary Lezak of KSHB TV, Channel 41. "He’s one of the most popular personalities in the city – he just suffered from depression. He knew weather really well. I’m in shock and I’m going to miss him. It’s just incredible – I almost can’t believe it. And he leaves two families behind; his Fox 4 family and his own family."

Harman joined Fox 4 in 1999, following Lezak’s departure and became an integral part of Fox 4’s morning crew with Mark Alford and Loren Halifax.

Oddly, just prior to the station announcing Harman’s death, its Web site pitched a coming story entitled, "Holiday Can Bring Stress, Sadness."

Indeed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 18 Comments

Glazer: Tis the Season…of Johnny Dare!

He’s everywhere…

I’m talking about Johnny Dare. Yes, on November 21st, a few days ago, our own Johnny Dare landed a very nice story in USA Today: RADIO HOST USES SHOW TO HELP LISTENERS AT THE HOLIDAYS.

Hope for the Holidays has a 15-year history of generating tears and acts of kindness on behalf of Kansas City people who are in need. Dare has listeners submit requests for assistance, which are then vetted by his team.

He reads the selected requests on the air, then waits for the calls to come in reports USA Today. The program runs up until Christmas and Johnny has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash, gifts and good will with this outstanding program. As most Kansas Citians know, Johnny also does BIKERS FOR BABIES. Both charities are powerful helpers for so many that are in need.

"It’s not a hand out, its a help up," says Dare.

He knows what its like to be in need. As a kid he had many days and nights where money was tight in his family, and he’s not forgotten where he came from. Dare just signed a new five-year contract with Entercom for 98,9 THE ROCK.  And there’s no argument that he’s the station’s anchor for the entire market in KC.

He’s Entercom’s  biggest star.

In another important move, Dare has replaced Coogan with Jennifer Johnson or DOUBLE J, as he calls her.

"It’s not permanent yet, but if she continues to do well, it will be at some point," Dare says.

So far so good, Jennifer seems to be a very nice fit for the show. Plus she’s nice to me, so that’s always a good thing. DOUBLE J has a background with Entercom, having worked on the Boulevard station years back.

Remember that one?

Dare is always on the lookout for where his brand is being mentioned and has recently noticed several talk shows and programs where he and his show were talked about. In the last few weeks stories on Dare and Craig tales have been played from the JIM JEFFRIES Show, "Talkin Shit"

"I think Craig is the middle boy, he used to rob drug dealers, went to prison, and well, he’s not even the bad one," Jeffries said.

"Yeah, we’ll be on the best show in radio, Johnny Dare but Christ, I’ll have to go on with Craig," April Macie said on her podcast. "Then he will perv on me all week."

Today Dare played clips of Dave Attell (Insomniac) and Joe Rogan (Fear Factor) both doing bad impressions of yours truly and saying, "Glazer makes you do like three days of radio, the cool show is that biker DJ, Johnny Blaze"

They both had fun at our expense, but meant well. These shows are out of LA. Hey, it’s nice to be thought of.

Johnny Dare may be the best known and most respected morning show man on a single, big channel anywhere in the country. While he’s not syndicated, he sure gets around. Oh and his TV show, FULL THROTTLE begins season three this winter.  Dare does the voice overs for 8 shows each season.

So Johnny is truly a man for all seasons.

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 14 Comments

Tales From the Tweet: Gill’s Last Gasp, an Albino Lion & Lou Diamond’s Stolen Identity

‘Tis the season for cherishing what you’ve got. For some, this means a job, a home, a family, some food, a nice Sleep Number bed… whatever. Turner Gill—who was fired by KU on Sunday—has most of these things, I’m sure. Well, except the job. Oh, and plus $6,000,000.00. That’s right, the man who succeeded Mean Ol’ Mangino was given his walking papers after he managed an unbelievably horrid 1-16 record in the Big 12 over his two year reign of terror. But don’t cry for him, Argentine, Kansas, he’ll be just fine.

@KUNews 
“Turner Gill has been relieved of his duties as Head Football Coach at the University of Kansas”

@mellinger  (KC Star Sports Columnist)
“When Turner Gill lists his accomplishments on his resume for his next job, "halftime lead over #Mizzou" should make the top five. #KUfball”

@nate_bukaty  (810 am)
“I never find joy in a person losin his job, and I believe Turner Gill to be a very good man, but Dr. Zenger did what needed to be done.”

People like to say that they hate it when people get fired; when it comes to sports, this is often nothing more than a ridiculous cliché. Simply put, sports dehumanize people. It rightfully puts team and organization above all else. Theoretically, all of the moveable parts grow into a giant, convulsing, hissing machine. And when a piece of that machinery breaks down, or fails to provide the function that it’s supposed to, you replace it. It’s that simple.

So feel sorry for the mailman with three kids who loses his gig because nobody mails anything anymore, but don’t feel sorry for the untalented coach who’s getting paid $6 million to walk away. I wish I sucked enough at my job to warrant some kind of multi-million dollar buyout. And I’d demand that you not feel sorry for me as I skipped out of the door, doing that fruity, jumping heel-click-thing as I left.


With Gill gone, people are clamoring to prognosticate KU’s next football coach. Perhaps the most popular pick is former Texas Tech coach Mike Leach. Nick Wright from 610 am was searching for the scoop of the week when he promised listeners that he’d have the current CBS analyst and Red Raiders-reject on his Monday afternoon show.

@getnickwright
“Mike Leach on WhatsWright today… Spread the word KU fans…”

And then?

“Apologies that Leach wasn’t on at 4 as scheduled… He just texted and said he would call soon, will tweet when he’s on…”
And then?

“scheduled for 4…. didn’t answer, texted us and said he’d call in a few, hasn’t called yet. no lies, live radio”

And finally…

“Sincerely sorry that we didn’t deliver Leach. We talked to him this morning, he said he’d come on, never answered. Will try again tomorrow.”

So what did Jayhawk fans think?

@cmat2509  (Curtis Mathews, some irrelevant Twitter-user whose mini-bio states, “my life, your entertainment”; probably not related to Denny)

“@getnickwright thanks for making me waste my day sitting by the radio fucking idiot”

Really Curt-Curt? Just to hear Mike Leach sidestep a bunch of questions about Lawrence, Kansas? Wish I had that kinda time to spare.

Hey, I’ve got an idea for KU’s next coach—what about my brother-in-law? He’s a coach at the high-school level… he wears Under-Armour to family functions, which makes him look very coach-like. He’s a nice guy, smart, and he’s physically imposing with a sturdy, tough-guy beard… And in all honesty, he can’t be any worse than Gill.

But if it’s not Mike Leach (and maybe it is) and it’s not my brother-in-law (long-shot), then who could it be? Let’s ask everybody’s favorite waste of sperm, Bob Fescoe.

Remember how last time I pointed out that he has a formula for making really bad jokes that start with “there is no truth to the rumor that…”? I wasn’t exaggerating, people—it’s a like a 4th grader who hears something funny on television and repeats it over and over again because his mother politely chuckled the first time he said it.

@bobfescoe  (610 am)
“There is NO truth to the report that Bob Valasente will be the next KU coach,.”

“There is NO truth to the rumor that Norman Dale is up for the KU football job. Shooter is being discussed in small circles.”

“Bud Lathrop has pulled his name out of the running for coach at KU”

““Matt Millen is NOT a candidate to coach KU”

“report: Broxton was never seen as a candidate for the #kufball job”

I just… seriously. I’m at a loss. Somebody gave this guy a job, and HE’S SOMEHOW MANAGED TO KEEP IT.

Speaking of Kansas, my favorite NFL Punter who Tweets, Chris Kluwe, tore into a former KU star on Monday. On a 2nd quarter punt in the Vikings eventual loss to the Falcons, Minnesota long-snapper Cullen Loeffler was rushing down the field to cover Kluwe’s kick. As he was cut across the field, Atlanta’s Kerry Meier lit him up brighter than a Christmas tree. Kluwe—who’s had his share of Twitter spats in the past—laid into Goldilocks.

@ChrisWarcraft
“To the Falcon that cheapshotted Loeffler – I hope someone does the same shit to you and knocks you out for the rest of the year too. Asshole.”

“Just watched the film and Cullen was ten yards behind the play; there was no call to do something like that. Fucking douchepickle.”

Douchepickle. I love it. Look, I watched the play—you might still be able to find it on youtube—and it was a fair hit. Overly-aggressive, yes, but certainly not a penalty. That said, I love it when athletes mouth off. Especially if that “athlete” is a punter. Priceless. It’s too bad they lost their long-snapper for the year, though. I’m going to forward Bob Fescoe’s resume to Kluwe, maybe get him the hell out of town.

Elsewhere, in the No Fun League, violent nightmare NKing NKong Suh is probably going to kill someone at some point. So how do we stop him before he makes an fatal error?

@JayGlazer (Foxsports.com writer, NFL sideline reporter)
“Lions have been informed by league office that Ndamukong Suh has been suspended by Commissioner 2 games without pay.”

Good. Grow up. Attend some anger management counseling. Learn to channel your frustration in a more appropriate manner. If I went around stomping on people’s arms at work, I’d get a whole hell of a lot more than fired.

Speaking of scary Lions:

@getnickwright
“Did Kyle Vandenbosch have red contacts in???”

A quick internet search revealed what I’ve been wondering about all year long, anytime I watch a Detroit game: Yes, yes he does. I’m glad Nick Wright mentioned it, because prior to his Tweet, anytime I saw Vanden Bosch’s glowing, demon eyes, I’ve thought to myself, “
Wait… is he an albino? Is that real? Eh. Oh well,” and switched the channel before forgetting to look into it. Now I know, and as the wise-prophet GI Joe once said, knowing is half the battle.


And wait… what’s this?! A Brodie Croyle sighting?!

@SI_PeterKing (Sports Illustrated writer)
“To the many comments about Texan QB situation: Brodie Croyle is leader in clubhouse to be signed. Kubiak liked his workout last week.”

Oh, man. Sucks to be a Texans fan. From a caviar-start and playoff dreams, to Brodie Freaking Croyle under center. Ouch. Hey, at least his wife’s hot, right? Doesn’t that count for—wait… that means NOTHING??? Dude, they’re screwed.
 

Next up, Sean Connery’s favorite section, a little Hot Shtove News.

First, some good news for the good guys:

@I_JonHeyman (Sports Illustrated writer)
“Broxton got $4M from royals. Plan is for him to set up. Physical tomorrow.”

@jcrasnick (Jerry Crasnick, ESPN baseball writer, un-ironic wearer of mustache)
“Fellow Ga. native Jeff Francoeur helped recruit Broxton for #Royals. Broxton recently went hunting w/Francoeur & manager Ned Yost”

So the Royals went out and signed themselves another bullpen arm. Former Dodgers’ closer and current elbow problem guy Jonathan Broxton will join a gaggle of already talented relievers next year. Some are suggesting this is clearing the way for a Joakim Soria trade. Others still are pointing out that this does nothing more than fill a bullpen spot if All-Star Aaron Crow assumes a rotational role. Maybe everyone’s right… who knows?

What I DO know is that I like this move. It shows that the powers-that-be are willing to spend a little Christmas-cash on someone whose upside—Broxton saved 58 games between ’09 and ’10 while striking out 187 in 138 innings—is solid. And if the bullpen is too stacked? You jettison him for picks (supposing he’s really, truly healthy and performing at a high level) in July. Something tells me the Royals won’t be sellers around the trade deadline, though… just a hunch. 

@jazayerli (Rany Jazayerli, Royals fan, writer for grantland.com, dermatologist)
“This Rasmus rumor is…weird. If TOR is willing to trade him just 4 months after committing Grand Theft CF, doesn’t that worry you a little?”

Yeah, worrisome and… weird. I don’t know what to make of a potential trade for stud outfielder Colby Rasmus. Our outfield is pretty set for a couple of years with good, young talent. And Rany’s right—it seems to indicate that something is either wrong with Rasmus, OR with Royals’ centerfielder Lorenzo Cain. In any case, I think it would take more than I’d be willing to give up in order to acquire 2009’s #3 overall prospect in all of baseball. Plus, we’ve got Wil Myers to look forward to.

@wilmyers
“Olive garden with the family”

OMG! It’s like Wil Myers live inna commercial, ya’ll!

Serious sidenote: are the Royals not paying this kid enough money? OLIVE GARDEN, Wil? Olive Garden: When you’re here, you’re shitty.

Finally, everyone’s favorite Native American (Mexican? Puerto… Spaniard?) actor took to Twitter in order to make people aware of an alarming development: SOMEONE IS ATTEMPTING TO IMPERSONATE LOU DIAMOND PHILLIPS.

@LouDPhillips  (D is for Diamond; greatest actor ever, star of Young Guns, La Bamba)
“BTW, apparently someone is pretending to b me on Facebook. (must b reeeaally bored!) Not me, don’t even have a page. Spread the word, thnx!”

Well this is fucking great… so who have I been sending pictures of my genitals to?

Beware, folks.  The internet is a scary place.

Posted in Sports | Tagged | 7 Comments

Edelman: Karrin Allyson Amazes at Jardine’s, Catch Her last Shows Tonight

The word “brilliant” gets thrown around alot these days…

But for an hour plus of the real thing, don’t miss Karrin Allyson’s gig at Jardine’s tonight (two shows Tuesday, Nov 29 at 6:30 and 8:30). Great music doesn’t get much better than this.

Joined by two of KC’s best sidemen– guitarist Rod Fleeman and bass player Gerald Spaits— Allyson plays Beena’s intimate room like she owns the place. Seducing us along her soulful way, she deftly drifts from lush ballad to Parker be-bop, sensual samba to lovely, lyrical chanson. In any language–English, Portuguese, French, scat—this is world-class jazz. 

Special guest Randy Weinstein, who lit up Karrin’s latest CD ‘Round Midnight” with his masterful harmonica work, adds an understated, expressive instrumental voice to the evening’s proceedings.  If you think Dylan or The Boss is the be all and end all of harmonica playing, sit back and take a lesson from Mr. Weinstein. In his sure hands, you finally understand why they call it a harp (btw, Randy’s a KC native—so much jazz talent here).

There’s no drummer on this session, but it didn’t bother me—the simplicity gave the gig a much more intimate feel. Spaits’ bass lines and Rod’s rhythm guitar laid down all the backbeat required, keeping time with Allyson’s finger-popping groove (and make no mistake—the lady is definitely in charge).

Karrin didn’t repeat a tune between her two shows Monday, so I can’t be sure you’ll hear any of these numbers tonight (don’t worry—the folks who attended the early show Monday raved, too). But I can happily report that Allyson fans at the late show I attended reveled in her renditions of “Under Paris Skies,” “Spring Can Really Hang You Up the Most,” and Charlie Chaplin’s American songbook standard “Smile.”

Surprise guest Stan Kessler’s mellow flugelhorn textured another favorite, “Footprints.” Stan stayed on to join Karrin and the band for “Yardbird Suite,” a vocal transcription of one of the Bird’s magical solos that turned up the heat considerably (more great scatting preceded that number, when Karrin, Gerald, Rod and Randy passed around the riffs like a hash pipe on “Jordu”).  

Shifting into smoky lounge leider, Karrin turned Johnny Mandel’s standard, “The Shadow of Your Smile” into more Allyson gold. On “Shadow” and the aforementioned “Smile” and “Spring…,” her piano playing was strong and self-assured. I’ve noticed that Karrin has played more and more piano on gigs I’ve had the good fortune to enjoy. The instrument suits her; whether singing along with her right hand or pushing the band with the left, she’s got a wonderfully expressive way about the instrument. Watch out, Diana what’s-her-name.

Finishing up on solo piano, Karrin turned to Billy Joel’s plaintive refrain “And So it Goes” as her band mates left the stage. And so it goes, indeed—when you bring together all of this talent in a warm, intimate setting like Jardine’s, you’re in for a night to remember. You’ve got two more chances—Tuesday (tonight)  at 6:30 and 8:30.

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Today: The Sad, Desperate State of the Pitch & Alternative Publishing in KC

 

This is not good…

At the exact time of year when it should be cashing in and getting well, what’s left of alternative newsweekly the Pitch is hanging on by the skin of its teeth. Even in its hazy, early days when I ran the show, we’d turn out 56 page issues during the all-important fourth quarter. Now, instead of flirting with 80 to 100 pages issues, it’s barely choking out 40.

This during the time of the year retailers and media count on to make ends meet.

And while good things have been said about the Pitch Web site, print is where the paychecks come from.

The questions being, how long will advertisers put up with single-story issues? And if the best the Pitch can muster is 40 pages in the 4th quarter, how low might it go come January when advertisers traditionally pull back?

Even the Star was able to avert end-of-year layoffs (despite a steep drop in 3rd quarter corporate earnings)  owing in part to stepped-up advertising by retailers expecting a huger holiday. Meanwhile the Pitch is choking out issues with scarcely a single feature story.

Little wonder…

When new owner SouthComm took over last spring, the Pitch fielded four staff writers, three of which are now gone. The main three one might argue; Nadia Plaum, David Martin and Peter "Dead Eye" Rugg.

And while it’s refreshing to be rid of the generic, aging-hippie approach to feature writing that long plagued the Pitch, unfortunately the road it’s headed down now appears closer to that of vaccuous weekly Ink.

Which by the way is eating the Pitch’s lunch at 62 pages versus 40.

Not only is the Pitch short-hitting readers in story content, its column content falls well short of what it was putting out in the early 90s even. No sports, no theater, no art, no horoscopes. It’s pretty much down to food and movies.

Speaking of which…

So short-handed is the Pitch its movie reviews are being written by editor Scott Wilson.

While that’s not as outlandish as were Star editor Mike Fannin‘s to bat for Robert Butler, it’s an indication that massive layoffs and dramatically reduced revenues have resulted in all-hands-on-deck.

Which is doubly worrisome given the Pitch appears unable to participate in the robust retail climate benefiting other local media. Because when you get right down to it, does anybody really want Kansas City’s alternative paper of record to be Ink?

How sad and embarrassing would that be?

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 5 Comments

Today: The Ridiculous State of College Athletics & KU Football

Money talks..

While the heinous child abuse coverups at Penn State and Syracuse are the best examples of how big bucks have corrupted big time college sports, there are others.

Take Lowly KU’s dealings in the hiring and firing of football coach Turner Gill.

KU athletics director Sheahon Zenger wasn’t the one who stepped in it by hiring Gill. That distinction goes to ousted, former KU AD Lew Perkins who laid a $10 million contract on the unproven, ex-Nebraska footballer. The obvious-but-overlooked question being, why cough up $10 million for an untested coach with a losing record?

Zenger is the dude who blithely agreed to cut Gill a $6 million farewell check like it was no big deal.

Perkins, btw went down amidst a $2 million ticket scandal, which pales in comparision to the $9 million buyouts for football coaches Mark Mangino and Gill

But nobody really seems to care, because money is no object when it comes to college sports. And now Zenger can go out, roll the dice again and cut some other coach a multi-million dollar deal. Someone like former Texas Tech coach Mike Leach. That’s the talk anyway.

Star sports scribe Sam Mellinger even characterized the hiring of Leach by KU as the "best case scenario."

Hold it right there….

Leach is the dude Texas Tech fired for player abuse, the same thing KU fired former football coach Mark Mangino for two years ago. Then Leach filed a wrongful termination lawsuit against Tech – a lawsuit still pending – and a suit against ESPN. In other words, he’s what they call litigious.

And this is the kinda guy KU needs to hire?

A coach who was terminated because of "his irresponsible treatment of a player diagnosed with a brain concussion and his unwillingness to work with Tech leadership to resolve the issue," the university contends.

Oh, I forgot. Leach is a winner and KU could makes lots of money. Who cares if he’s a standup guy?

Turner Gill was a standup guy and look where that got KU.

All of which shich speaks to my point yesterday; unless someone steps in and finds a way to dial out the ridiculous profits in college sports – take them out of the hands of the power brokers that currently control them – corruption and waste will continue to reign.

Nothing will matter except winning. Money will remain no object. And whatever needs to be covered up to keep the good times rolling will continue to be covered up.

The question that remains is, will Gill’s replacement be able to afford to take over the payments on Gill’s seven-figure manse at Fall Creek Farms in Lawrence? Count on it.

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 9 Comments

Glazer: Rising Star T.J. Miller Flies in to do Fundraiser for Fallen Glazer Brother

He’s already being compared to Tom Hanks

TJ Miller has done about 17 films back-to-back for the last five years. He either stars or co-stars in almost all of them. And Miller just finished shooting ROCK OF AGES with Tom Cruise. His scenes in the movie are with Cruise.

Miller’s still best known as "Stainer" in She’s Out of Your League but in the past past year you’ve seen him in Yogi Bear (as Park Ranger Jones), Unstoppable with Denzel Washington, Train Your Dragon Two, Get Him to The Greek and more. He’s taking time off from his new film, "MY IDIOT BROTHER" to fly to KC on tonight for one special show at Stanford and Sons.

TJ was a regular on Chelsea Lately but was not well known as a stand-up comic. He wanted to headline clubs to get his comedy groove on and Stanford’s let him headline in what would be his first full week at an A club as the main guy.

And guess what? He killed.

Even Johnny Dare saw how talented TJ was and had him on all week. Miller developed a deep friendship with all three Glazer brothers the past few years, including my brother Jack who died five weeks ago in an auto accident.

Miller was the first big name comic to fly in and give my brother Jeff and I his sincere heartfelt love. In fact Miller was the only big star to do such a thing. Sure, many called and sent flowers which was quite kind, but to fly in blew us away.

And TJ felt even that wasn’t enough. He said, "I want to come in and do a show for Jack. Can I do that? I will fly in for one day on my dime and do one big show for your little brother."

WOW, what an act of kindness!

So Miller will be on radio all morning tomorrow with Johnny Dare, the Mix, Q104, and Alice. He wants to raise money for Jack’s charities and to do the main room in his honor. So all of the door and donations will go that way.

I’ve been in this business 30 years, have never seen a star at Miller’s level do something this gracious.

He’s one of a kind.

I’ve worked with so many comics that have gone on to huge careers from Larry the Cable Guy to Lewis Black and TJ likely will be in this group, if he isn’t already. But as they rise to the top, they rarely do this type of thing. They’re too busy. I won’t forget that Lewis Black at the peak of his career came in and did a week at Legends for us in 2007.

TJ Miller is simply a great guy, a great talent and a good human being. What a nice example of kindness.

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 6 Comments

Hearne: Costly, Dull, Freaky Michael Jackson Tribute Coming to KC

Fake Michael Jackson concert tix, anyone?

Visit the Star‘s main page and chances are you’ll get one of those delightful pop-up ads hawking $25 discounts on tickets to the upcoming MJ tribute show at Sprint Center.

That’s right, a tribute band headlining Sprint, for two nights, no less. That’s a feat the creepy, gloved one himself might have have difficulty pulling off, were he not immortalized in death.

"That’s so lame," says one 30-something local MJ fan of the show. "And a little creepy."

Michael Jackson The Immortal World Tour with Cirque du Soleil will play here February 21 and 22.

Speaking of creepy, check out the review of the show by Williamette Week in Oregon.

"It was around the time the human-sized dancing glove showed up that Cirque du Soleil’s Michael Jackson show got kind of weird," it begins. "Don’t get me wrong, there was a lot of strange stuff happening before then, not the least of which being the appearance of an actor dressed as Bubbles, Jackson’s famous pet monkey, who later ascended a platform to DJ above the crowd. But that’s almost predictable. Of course there would be a guy in a monkey suit wearing overalls and a striped shirt running around, pounding his hands on the stage like a French-Canadian circus version of Andy Serkis. A big, sparkling anthropomorphic glove, though? That looks like the Hamburger Helper mascot gone fabulous? Well, that’s a special stroke of brilliant weirdness. And that’s not even mentioning the dancers who leaped out of a pair of giant shoes seconds later."

That said, the review characterizes the show as boring.

"And that, really, is where the Immortal Tour becomes an affront to Jackson’s legacy," the review continues. "He would never want his name attached to something that wasn’t top-drawer entertainment…All the chaos just sort of blended together into an incomprehensible swirl of noise and light and tumbling and mimes and LED costumes and robot dancers—which has it’s charms, to be sure, but for the most part just made my eyes glaze over." 

Tickets for the MJ trib shows range from $50 for nosebleeds to $175 for the really good seats, plus of course facility and convenience service charges of $19.60 per.  So try and snag the $25 discount which basically basically covers the service charges.

Or check out the $250 VIP package that includes a "premium ticket located in the best rows of the floor," a souvenir lanyard, program and "exclusive gift."

As Michael might say, don’t stop til you get enough!

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 3 Comments

New Jack City: Jack Back from Europe Despite Getting Poisoned & Condom Scare

Plans for crisp roasted goose on Thanksgiving Day though went awry…

That’s because three days prior to my planned feast I came down with a severe case of food poisoning. Bad enough that my Frankfurt hotel had to change my room. I guess my Exorcist-like activities didn’t go well with housekeeping.

With prices sky high across the pond these days, they say that getting there is the cheapest part of a European vacation. Unless, of course, you treat yourself to a free first class roundtrip ticket as I did. More about that later. 

As for today’s living costs in places like Germany, at an average exchange rate of $1.40 to the Euro plus inflation, costs are high in just about every imagineable catagory. For example:

A gallon of gasoline – make that a liter – goes for between 1.50 and 1.75 Euros. Now multiply that x 4 for dollars and you’re paying in the unbelievable neighborhood of $8.50 per gallon!

It doesn’t stop there.

You may think that our average sales taxes of between 8% and 9.5% seem high, but they’re nothing compared to most Euro Zone nations where the sales tax on just about any product is 19% (the exception being certain necessity grocery items and medicines).

One highlights of my trip included visits to the former West Berlin refugee camps I was processed through and lived in after escaping from East Germany. I went to the spectacular Dom Cathedral in Colone and the St. Thomas Church in my hometown of Leipzig where Johann Sebastian Bach is buried.

I ran into into New Moon star Robert Pattinson and Twilight‘s Taylor Lautner in Berlin where they were on a world-wide publicity stop for ‘Breaking Dawn.’ OK, so that wasn’t that big a deal.

It was sweet crossing the Atlantic in first class splendor, especially since I didn’t have to pay for it.

I never would’ve been able to afford the nearly $8,000 tickets, I used frequent flyer miles instead. I used 100,000 going east on Continental and 125,000 for the return on Delta. Or was it the other way around?

What I got for that?

Incredible wide space and super plush seats that turn into completely stretched out beds as well as a full entertainment center. And the food was ALL GOURMET. For dinner alone I think it must’ve been a seven course serving on both airlines, with the booze and champagne flowing freely. Not to mention all the other special extras the carriers throw in.

Almost forgot…

Those ever present mini-bars in the better hotel rooms. Used to be they carried nothing but beer, wine and pop. Then they added other high-profit items like pretzels, mints and nuts. And a few years ago many hotels converted these little profit centers to sensor activated mini-bars. This often posed problems for me when I cheaped out and stored some of my own cold items in these small fridges.

Was I ever surprised to find that many European hotels have added boxes of condoms to their mini-bars!

So to make room for some food items purchased earlier in the day I had to move some of the hotel’s soda bottles—and the condoms.

And you guessed it.

When I checked out, the front desk attendant gleefully announced— loud enough for everyone to hear—an add-on charge of seven Euros for condoms.

"No sir, I didn’t buy them. I just moved them," I responded.

"Well, OK then Mr. Poessiger. I hope your stay with us was gratifying anyway."

It was.

Posted in Jack_Poessiger | Tagged | 5 Comments

Hearne: Karen Pletz Suicide Update, Florida Cops Await Preliminary Autopsy Results

The jury’s still out on exactly what went down in the unexpected death of Karen Pletz

The one-time, high-flying, former head of the Kansas City University of Medicine and Biosciences was found dead last week in the Ft. Lauderdale condo she was holed up in shortly after midnight.

That after Pletz late 2009 ouster amid accusations she had embezzled more than $1.5 million, falsely claimed deductions of $65,000 in charitable contributions she did not make, got $50,291 in bogus travel reimbursements used for personal travel and entertainment, and using university monies to pay for cosmetic surgery.

In short, Pletz fell from the penthouse to the outhouse, and faced up to seven figures or more in legal fees and slam time, on top of public humiliation.

Raising the obvious question of whether Pletz took her own life.

Even George Washington University professor Margaret Soltan weighed in on Pletz demise.

"Karen Pletz, ex-president of Kansas City University of Medicine and Biosciences…has died – probably by suicide," Soltan blogs."Pletz was facing immensities of litigation."

Meanwhile, back in Ft. Lauderdale, police await the preliminary results on Pletz from the medical examiner.

"There’s nothing more to say at this point until then," says Fort Lauderdale Police Detective Travis Mandell.

Mandell was on his way out of town for Thanksgiving when, "I suffered the barrage of calls from Kansas City media" he jokes. "I didn’t know you guys had so many television stations."

Despite the keen interest here in Pletz death, Ft. Lauderdale police are treating it as a normal "unknown death," Mandell says. "No one gets preferential treatment."

You may recall, Ft. Lauderdale’s medical examiner told me last week it would take two to three months before full results of Pletz autopsy would be available.

Pletz husband Jack Pletz – a Jefferson City, Missouri attorney – did not return a call for this column.

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 1 Comment

Grogan / Donnelly: American Idol’s David Cook of Blue Springs Does the Midland

Hometown product David Cook returned to KC over the Thanksgiving weekend for his first local show in over two years at the Midland

You do remember Cook, right?

He won American Idol in 2008 and released an album that did pretty well shortly after that.  Since then he’s been kind of flying under the radar (as in fading), as evidenced by the lackluster attendance at the Midland, which was reported in the KC Star as being just around 1,100 bodies. 

Ouch.

Nevertheless, intrepid KC Confidential photographerKatie Grogan broke free of her turkey coma and made her way downtown to document Blue Springs’ favorite alt-rocker’s KC reunion.

Check out the sights.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Photographs by Katie Grogan

Words by Matthew Donnelly

Posted in Entertainment | Tagged | 3 Comments

Glazer: Haley’s Last Stand Insures More Mediocrity, Poor Draft Pick

The clown act paused for a few moments to show off a great defense against a superior team.

Even though the his team lost 13-9, Chiefs coach Todd Haley made another move in the direction of NOT being fired. He did everything he could to keep the Chiefs in the game. By far it was the team’s best game of the year. They have little offense so it’s hard to compete, but Haley found a way to, so he has earned another shot.

Remember our clowns only have three talented / name players – D-Bowe, Derrick Johnson and Tamba Hali. That’s it. They’re 4-7 has them on the way to a 5 or 6 game win season. Of course, it would be wise to lose all the remaining games but we aren’t that smart. Haley will continue to fight for his job and he likely will win just enough games to NOT be able to draft a top notch quarterback.

It’s all about fighting for Haley’s job.

Pittsburgh had many chances to put this one away, but the Chiefs defense kept them from scoring. And a home game that normally would have drawn a sell out crowd, had maybe 50,000. It’s likley that from here on we’ll see less than 40,000 fans – other than maybe the Green Bay game. The Chiefs have 5 games left, three on the road, so their season is over, at least as far as playoffs.

At some point we’ll see Kyle Orton, but it’s too late for him to matter now.

To win this division it will take at least 9 wins and the Chiefs can’t do that with 7 loses already. That means we would need to win all our remaining games and that’s not going to happen.

SO IT’S WAIT TIL NEXT YEAR AGAIN.

This is just an extremely poor organization.

And it’s been that way for way too long. Unfortunately it’s a trend that’s likely to continue because this team has very little talent to move forward with next year.

So while it’s unfair to the fans, expect more of the same.

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 8 Comments

Hearne: Money. Power, Sex Rule Bigtime College Athletics & It’s Time For a Change

The Syracuse child molestation situation is just the tip of the college athletics moeny-go-round…

When I was a little kid, all I knew about college football was that people like Fred McMurray drove to the games in really old cars with racoon tails, in really old black and white movies.

The fans yelled super silly cheers and it wasn’t about whether the teams won or lost but how they played the game.

That was then…

Today it’s every man, woman and child for his or herself. The Almighty Buck is the King of Kings and who cares how the game is played – just win, baby!

We’ll likely never truly get to the bottom of the Penn State child abuse scandal. The school isn’t making its records public and the NCAA will have plenty of wrists it can slap without taking everyone involved in the coverup to the public woodshed.

If everybody involved at Penn State were outted, they might have to retool the entire school hierarchy.

Now let’s take a look at the Syracuse situation where head coach Jim Boeheim bogusly defended longtime assistant Bernie Fine two weeks ago after two men accused Fine of abusing them. Here’s what Boeheim said right after the men came forth with their stories:

"This is alleged to have occurred … what? Twenty years ago? Am I in the right neighborhood? It might be 26 years ago? So, we are supposed to what? Stop the presses 26 years later? For a false allegation? For what I absolutely believe is a false allegation? I know he’s lying about me seeing him in his hotel room. That’s a lie. If he’s going to tell one lie, I’m sure there’s a few more of them.”

Now after one accuser produced an incriminating recording of a phone conversation with Fine’s wife confirming the abuse, Fine was fired and Boeheim has been forced to change his tune.

“The allegations that have come forth today are disturbing and deeply troubling," Boeheim now says. "I am personally very shocked because I have never witnessed any of the activities that have been alleged. I believe the university took the appropriate step tonight. What is most important is that this matter be fully investigated and that anyone with information be supported to come forward so that the truth can be found. I deeply regret any statements I made that might have inhibited that from occurring or been insensitive to victims of abuse."

Therein lies the problem…

Instead of merely covering it up like ousted Penn State coach Joe Paterno undoubtedly did, Boeheim used his bully pulpit to discredit Fine’s accusers, effectively discouraging other victimes from coming forward lest they receive the same treatment. Had that phone recording not surfaced, Boeheim would still be blaming and abusing the victims.

What Boeheim should have done is say something like, "This is a grave matter that needed to be looked into, even though I’ve known and respected Bernie Fine for many years."

That’s it.

What Boeheim did instead was – like seedy lawyers in rape cases – try to shift the blame to the victim.

And that’s totally bogus.

"Is it possible that Boeheim will be able to continue to coach the team?" the Washington Post now asks. "Should he be allowed to continue to coach the team? Or should he, like Paterno, be fired?"

"Victim advocates give Coach Jim Boeheim’s apology a mixed review," reads a headline on syracuse.com.

"The Rev. Robert M. Hoatson, a Catholic priest who is president of Road to Recovery Inc., a non-profit that supports victims of sexual abuse (said) Boeheim’s earlier statements were ‘completely inappropriate and out of line. Now he’s backtracking on his story…’ Once again it proves when people begin to attack victims it comes back to haunt them."

Syracuse station WSYR TV reports, "The Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests (SNAP) issued a statement calling on Syracuse University to discipline head men’s coach Jim Boeheim the day after his longtime assistant Bernie Fine was fired as a result of allegations that he molested young boys."

SNAP’s statement:

"We’re glad that Bernie Fine has been fired but it’s crucial that Syracuse University officials discipline Jim Boeheim for his extraordinarily hurtful recent comments attacking abuse victims. Boeheim’s apology will do little or nothing to ‘undo’ the harm he’s caused. Nor will it deter others from making similarly callous comments in the future. If the university really wants to move forward, and create a safe climate for abuse victims, it must take decisive action against Boeheim."

Clearly the old jalopies and racoon tails are things of the past, but among us doesn’t think big time college athletics is about one thing and one thing only; M-o-n-e-y.

KU‘s former, now-ousted athletic director came in, immediately extorted millions of dollars from longtime KU football and basketball ticketholders, then dropped more than a million bucks in legal fees squashing tiny Lawrence T-shirt maker Joe College. Something about shirts like "Muck Fizzou" costing KU money by infinging on its trademark.

Missouri bails out of a century-old rivalry for a fist full of dollars. Schools like KU and MU routinely use clout to minimize news coverage of things like bar fights involving student athletes and other embarrassing indescretions. And how in the world did MU coach Gary Pinkle get his DUI charges wrapped up with a bow in a single week?

Like that ever happens in the real world.

It’s blatantly evident that the money behind these school’s sports teams has resulted in clout and influence for athletics officials that surpasses that of the school’s leaders. It’s time to call a halt to that.

Which will never happen because the enforcers at the NCAA enjoy cashing their fat paychecks too.

For example, in the NCAA’s 2009 tax filing, then head Myles Brandon took down a $1.765 million paycheck, with the next 14 staffers making between $640,107 and $261,559.

Those are some pretty big bucks in a Midwestern burg like Indy.

By the way, the NCAA’s total revenue that year was $740, 910, 957.

Should college athletics revenues go into state educational funds benefiting the many and not the few? Probably. Will that ever happen? Doubtful.

Should Syracuse basketball coach Jim Boeheim be fired for doing the completely wrong-headed thing when his now obviously guilty assistant was accused? Probably. Will it happen?

Again, doubtful.

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 5 Comments

Hearne: Midnight @ The Oasis; Occupy @ Wal Mart & Oak Park Mall Pulls Up Short

So you hung with the fam, got hammered and did the zombie thing…

More power to ya, but now you’re feeling a bit blue cause you missed out on those 46-inch Westinghouse LCD TVs at Target and didn’t even make it to Oak Park Mall for Midnight Madness, The Thanksgiving Edition.

Dude, that’s tough. But fortunately I did your dirty work for you and am here to tell the tale.

Wine, women, song – debauchery beyond belief – none were in evidence when I embarked with 14 year-old daughters Liza and Savannah for the Target store on Metcalf near Johnson Drive. We arrived at 11:54 p.m. Thanksgiving night to see a sea of people – hundreds – flooding and snaking around Target’s massive parking lot.

Make no mistake; what was about to go down was huge but – fortunately for all concerned – civilized.

Target security and a pair of Mission cop cars and cops stood at the ready. A single entrance to the far south of the building front was the sole entry point.

Have fun guys," said the door dude on allowing the first batch of 30 Black Friday losers into the store. "Don’t run, you’ll be alright."

Then a rather large black woman tried to schmooze her way in sans the six hour line wait.

"I just need to go to the service desk," she told security.

Fat chance.

"You’re going to need to go to the end of the line, ma’am," he shot back.

Next thing I knew, said security dude was on my ass for standing nearby and taking notes. No nasty media stories wanted, I guess. In case something ugly went down.

"We’re not allowing anybody to wait up here," he said sternly. So I crossed the street and stood on a parking island.

The first wave of shoppers cheered as they were let in and out of the cold. Allowing batches of 30 in at roughly one minute intervals, the line was over in 30 minutes flat. It also helped insure that there were no hand-to-hand combat or pepper spraying incidents.

Meanwhile the first batch of shoppers began to trickle out of the store with their Westinghouse big screens and gaming chairs overflowing their carts. Some loaded with as many as three to four LCD telelvisions.

That’s when I learned that the Occupy Wall Street crowd had inflitrated a nearby Wal Mart near 75th and I-35.

"They started their sale at 10 p.m.," Shawnee resident John Smalley told me. "And everybody got their stuff and was in line when a group of about 20 of the Occupy Kansas City people formed in the clothing section and started chanting."

No harm, no foul, Smalley said.

About that time – around 12:15 a.m. a big ass black dude and his posse lumbered out of Target announcing, "All the good shit’s gone, y’all. All the good shit’s gone."

Comforting.

That’s when I noticed that the obnoxious Target security dude playing big shot out front was decked out in a regular Target clothes uniform along with a lime green nylon vest that read, "Assets Protection."

No kidding. Assets Protection is what they call the department store dicks at Target.

After finally entering and getting ready to leave, I noticed that the cart my daughters were stuck with would have to go through a checkout line far more daunting than the line to get inside earlier.

Because, going in was a breeze – just wave and walk. Getting out, on the other hand, entailed the full blown checkout experience, multiplied by the hundreds of people ahead of us.

To my surprise, Target kicked ass and it went super fast. Kinda like the lines at Forever 21 at Oak Park.

In fact, we got in and out so fast, I let my daughters con me into driving to Oak Park Mall.

That’s right, it was 1:30 a.m. when we turned into Oak Park’s jam packed parking lot. Uh, oh. This could get ugly.

Little did I realize, I would soon learn that Oak Park Mall’s Midnight Madness Sale was bogus.

No Dillard’s. No J.C. Penny. No Nordstrom. No Barnes & Nobel. No Victoria’s Secret. No Pink. No Hallmark. No Limited. No Food Court. No Forever 21. And-on-and-on-and-on. No most of the stores that usually are open. Roaming the mall, darkened by mostly closed stores was a ghostly experience.

The bottom line being Oak Park lured shoppers like my daughters to a (more than half empty mall.

"We got a call from corporate a couple days before Thanksgiving telling us we had to work because most of the stores here would be open," says a Delia’s staffer. "Maybe if they’d advertised it better more stores would have stayed open and more people would have come."

We’ll see how well Oak Park does next year after crying wolf this year…

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 3 Comments

Car: The Myth of Fiat’s Slow Start & Possible Sex Scandal

This just in, the sky is not falling on the new Fiat 500...

"Fiat’s U.S. chief ousted after poor Fiat 500 sales start," reads the Nov. 21 USA Today headline.

Unfortunately, as often is the case, the reporting on Fiat’s slower than hoped for re-entry into the North American market has been accompanied with precious little perspective. With more than 20,000 Fiat 500 sales in the US and Canada, there’s no arguing it will not achieve its overly-optimistic goal of selling 50,000 units this year.

Now let’s put that and the controversial ouster of Fiat ‘s North American head Laura Soave in perspective.

To start with, it was barely one year ago that Fiat even selected its first 130 dealers. Not much more than a week before Thanksgiving and directly into the headwinds of the holiday season. No way, given that late start and the requirement that dealers build freestanding Fiat Studios, could Fiat achieve that stated sales goal.

The first token Fiat wasn’t delivered until March and it was April before the cars first trickled into KC.

Heading into the summer only a fraction of the Fiat dealers were open for business and it wasn’t until mid-late summer that Fiat’s dealer network began to hit critical mass. It’s hard to sell cars with no dealers, especially in today’s economy and when targeting the denizens of the Occupy Wall Street Generation.

Now let’s do a bit of comparing what Herman Cain likes to refer to as "apples and oranges."

Many in the media point to the success of the Mini Cooper, the Fiat 500s main rival here.

However, they do so while providing absolutely zero perspective on the Mini’s return to this country. One that began 10 years ago – a decade – in the year 2001 when the economy was far stronger. The cars were first sold out of BMW dealerships who jammed the Minis in alongside Bimmers with no requirements that dealers invest millions in new facilities.

So how did the Mini’s launch compare to that of the 500?

When Mini tipped off in March of 2002 it did so with a modest-but-realistic sales target of 20,000 units.

That’s fewer than half the target Fiat foolishly set for the 500 this year. And after 13 months it had sold just over 30,000 cars. Now let’s do the math; with 20,000 Fiats in the bank to date, it’s likely a safe bet that by the end of April the 500 will have equaled or exceeded the Mini’s sales number. Especially now that the lion’s share of its dealers are up and running.

Again, remember this in an economy far worse than the one the Mini faced 10 years ago.

Today the Mini Cooper offers no less than six different models, most of which are offered in standard and perfromance versions. Forget the "10 million possible combinations" bs, at present the Mini has three times as many different models as the Fiat 500, which only offers a hardtop and convertible. A high performance Fiat Abarth is slated for spring

That’s a big benefit of Mini’s 10 year headstart, but remember it didn’t happen overnight.

Even with all those different models, Mini sold only 38.000 cars and change through October.

Given all of that, at first blush it would appear that Soave’s ouster may have been little more than a face-saving head-rolling by Fiat’s corporate cats who made the now embarrassing sales forecast in the first place.

Then came an astonishing comment on the Web site of Automotive News in its report of Soave’s firing.

"Everyone is missing the entire point that Chrysler is covering up the fact that Ms. Soave was having an affair with the head of the ad agency that she hired to handle Fiat’s affairs," posted registered Automotive News commenter R Taylor. "In addition, auditors were sent into the agency’s offices to investigate fraud."

Not surprisingly the comment was not long for this world.

"Oops! This isn’t what you expected!" the link now reads. "The page you were looking for has moved. We’re sorry, but the page you requested is no longer available or not found on our server. We apologize for any inconvenience."

The bottom line being that while Fiat was way optimistic in its launch timetable and sales forecast, all things considered, it’s not doing that bad.

You want optimism? try this.

In just over a week, the ad for the Fiat Abarth on YouTube has garnered more than 1.3 million views.

I remember the Land Rover salesman in Chattanooga traveling to Kingdom Come and paying full boat for one of the very first Minis. Next time I saw him he’d sold his Mini and was eagerly awaiting a Cooper S.

So we’ll see…

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