KC Confidential

Think tale of two cities…

Here in the Cowtown, Chiefs fans are besides themselves (and the ghost of Craig Glazer is sure to make a return appearance this Halloween). Local football freaks are running around like somebody at Arrowhead went back in a time and brought back Joe Montana.

Meanwhile back in the little cowtown to the west, KU football’s twin wins (albeit against nobodies) has beleaguered Jayhawk pigskin paramours cautiously besides themselves.

Enter goofy Lawrence Journal World editor Chad Lawhorn:

“A two-game winning streak by the KU football team is producing a variety of reactions,” Lawhorn writes. “Meteorologists are checking for a cooling front in Hades, K-State boosters are ensuring their pigs still don’t fly, and Jayhawk fans are growing their empty aluminum can collections, if you know what I mean.”

Actually, I don’t.

But as obscure as that passage may be, there actually is a method to Lawhorn’s gladness. Continue reading →

It’s not easy being an icon, let alone a fast fading one…

Unfortunately that appears to be the case with both the American Royal and now its fabled World Series of Barbecue.

Once upon a time – you know the drill, a long time ago – the American Royal’s annual horse and livestock shows at Kemper Arena in the West Bottoms by the old stockyards was a really big deal. Local civic leaders and businessmen from all walks of life participated and the auctioning of it grand champion steer was front page news.

And its nearly 70 year-old Belles of the American Royal (BOTAR) debutante ball was right up – almost – with the town’s vaunted Jewel Ball.

Then in 1980 a handful of amateur barbecue teams got together to cook out, get hammered and strut their smoked meats skills and it took off and became an annual event, with packed crowds and ridiculous traffic jams on Friday nights when locals flocked to opening night.

That was then.

By the early 2000s though Union Station honcho George Guastello – then with the American Royal –  could see the handwriting on the wall, and began bringing in touring musical acts like Ike Turner to liven things up.

Unfortunately for the Royal (and fortunately for Guastello) he landed the Union Station gig and the handwriting was on the wall. The concerts went away, along with what remained of the buzz, and by the time the bbq moved to the Kansas Speedway, it was game over.

How bad was this year’s World Series of BBQ?

“Devastatingly bad,” says a 39 year-old professional who took his young son. “It was dismal at best. They had a band there with maybe 20 people watching it.” Continue reading →

Forget touchy-feely words like “closure,” it’s always been about the money…

The object of the game in mainstream journalism is to milk controversial stories like Ride the Ducks and Schlitterbahn’s Verrückt, because those are the stories that keep the lights on. And if you haven’t noticed, the way things are going in news, survival is the name of the game.

So let’s be clear, the latest big “news” story about duck boat victims’ lawsuits being delayed by the all-important criminal investigation into the July sinking in Branson is a smokescreen for greedy lawyers.

The lawyers representing the folks lining up to sue everybody in sight (and an eager, complicit media) say it’s all about people’s relatives getting on with their lawsuits ASAP so they can experience closure.

But it’s really about money and time is money.

Because for the lawyers taking these cases on contingency – meaning they don’t get paid until the lawsuits are settled – means they’ll be out of pocket for tens of thousands of dollars in expenses or more until they can finally cash in for somewhere around a third of what the families get.

In other words if one of their clients wins $15 million, the lawyer pockets $5 million.

Not surprisingly said lawyers are using the media to try and make points about superfluous stuff like the general public may not find everything out for a bit longer because of the delays and  the grieving families won’t be able to “move on.”

Which suits the news media because rather than just writing about this for some higher purpose, these are the kind of stories that play best with the public (and  that they can brag about, you may have noticed)…which helps in their quest to reach more eyeballs and thus ad dollars.

So for the media, any new wrinkle on a sexy story like the Ducks is a win-win proposition.

From the get-go these stories have been about money and everybody wants a piece of the action.

Starting with Ride the Ducks and Schlitterbahn cashing in on risky rides despite obvious dangers.

And despite these most recent duck deaths, the companies who own these dicey ducks are still going strong with little to no media oversight in their respective markets.

Take the Chattanooga Ducks in Chattanooga, Tennessee…

The company barely had to field a few softball questions from the local media and haven’t missed a beat since.

That’s because there’s nothing in it for local news media to risk pissing off advertisers. Continue reading →

I was pretty stoked…

On Monday I was to screen the new PREDATOR movie.

It had been 31 years since Arnold Schwarzenegger took on a faceless, ferocious fiend in South America. The original was a solid action thriller that picked you up and grabbed you by the…and did so until the very end.

Sadly, I can’t be as enthusiastic about this week’s new fourth installment in the iconic PREDATOR alien-hunter franchise.

To be honest, for my taste it plays like a cheesy B-movie, reminiscent of the old American-International sci-fi thrillers of the 50’s and 60’s.

On top of that the story line isn’t the easiest to follow, and some of the special effects sport the look of much earlier (and lesser) CGI creativity.

Granted PREDATOR 2 in 1990 already disappointed when compared to the original.

But this latest opus sure doesn’t do much to foster another the return of the series. Continue reading →

Dark humor, anyone?

Then settle back and listen to a tale about a man named…Harley.

That’s right, that curmudgeonly, caustic coward we’ve known and loved as – once upon a time – JoJo and more recently Boom Boom.

At the risk in putting words into anyone’s mouth, he’s also the dude Paul Wilson loves to hate – who vexes Paul no end. And who pretty much anybody who has ever weighed into the comments section here can attest, has been universally reviled by everyone except – wait for it – his political soulmate, the ever-loving Stomper.

He’s also the dude who took an unannounced powder at just about the same time Craig Glazer broke his typing hand on the chin of some hapless cabbie who came to his Plaza apartment to take him to the hospital for his final journey.

Now as obnoxious as we pretty much all know Boom Boom to be, he kinda had a soft spot for Craig. Not a gigantic one, but a soft spot nonetheless.

So by every reasonable measure it was a no-brainer that Boom Boom would weigh in after the Scribe bit the dust a few weeks back – a total no-brainer.

Ah, but that was not to be.

When Craig departed this mortal coil Boom Boom went bye-bye as well.

Coincidence?

Just an odd enough one to get me putting two-and-two together and coming up with the square root of 144.

Was Craig Harley – I mean – Boom Boom?

After all, it wasn’t the first time Glazer had assumed alternate identities in the comments section.

The latest… Continue reading →

No one in America likes to sacrifice…

Their idea of risk is creating a new business. Just as long as they stay out of the mainstream, never move back on the game board, present a bland face so as not to get caught in the undertow. You know who you are, the people who are unwilling to go on the record, who send me e-mails with “name withheld.” You’ll only speak your truth anonymously.

Online fake identities are rampant. Everybody feels immune.

But they’re not.

If you’ve been scoring at home, you’re aware that Nike was caught up in the #MeToo movement…(a) campaign that burnishes its image with women. Then again, not all women voted for Hillary.  Not all women are concerned with the rights of minorities.

Furthermore, some brands are beyond reproach.

Switching athletic gear is like telling people not to eat at In-N-Out – it’s not gonna work.

Meanwhile, these billboards are going to permeate the country for eons. Well, at least weeks, unlike the latest musical projects. Maybe it’s only corporations who can gain sustained mindshare in today’s marketplace. Maybe it’s beyond the power of any individual, other than maybe David Hogg, who’s taking a gap year to extend his anti-gun/Parkland reach.

Everyone’s afraid. Especially corporations. The mea culpas are rampant.

They’re afraid of repercussions. Just ask Harley-Davidson, they move production overseas to save the company and they don’t stop being excoriated. You don’t want to get caught in the crosshairs, (so) you go along.

Kinda like the tariff situation in general.

We don’t see giant corporations standing up to Agent Orange for fear of backlash. But if you’ve got no backbone, we lose trust in you. Just like Google and its own employees. Google wants to work in China…at what cost?

We’re looking for leaders; we’re looking for inspiration. And what we find is celebrities hawking goods and getting caught in shenanigans by TMZ.

Then we have Colin Kaepernick standing up for what he believes, not getting caught in any faux pas and risking his career – never mind his salary. Continue reading →

I just returned from an event in my hometown of Carthage, a “going away” party for my friend and the now former editor of the 134 year old Carthage Press…

It was shut down last Wednesday.

How, you ask?

The publisher called a meeting on Tuesday, one hour after their Wednesday edition publishing deadline. He walked in and told the staff , “You just sent the LAST edition of the Press to print; we’re closing it down as of today.

They didn’t allow them a proper goodbye to readers, nothing.

Owner GateHouse Media slipped in a small column on the right side of the front page announcing they were shutting it down.

But, they added, GateHouse is still committed to local news and Carthage’s news would now be covered by the Neosho paper…..some 25 miles and a different world away.

Stevie Wonder could have seen this coming after being cut back from 5 days a week, to 2, to 1. Continue reading →

How would you like to be the proud new owner of The Pitch right now?

Allow me to answer that question for you, you wouldn’t.

Because when you’re choking out a monthly print magazine in a world where even hourly information can seem passé and print advertisers are scarcer than West Coast baseball scores in the local newspaper of record, you’re fighting an uphill battle of monumental proportion.

Which is why after six long, red-ink-churning years of trying to make financial sense of Kansas City’s lone major alternative newsweekly, SouthComm out of Nashville threw in the towel. Dumped it off on a couple of refugees of Johnson County on the last day of last year. A couple who already have sold off the pitch.com URL to some mystery outfit in Berlin, Germany.

And this just in, the Godfather of alt weeklies in this country – The Village Voice – just announced that it is shutting down after 63 years.  Think off it, 63 years…during many, if not most of those it turned a tidy profit.

Whereas, according to sources the Pitch may never have.

You know, made a profit.

So now what? Continue reading →

This is kind of hysterical…

The pussy-grabber in chief rapes and pillages our nation and its relationships, yet a comedian is unable to pursue his career. Have we lost perspective?

And isn’t it interesting that not a single male has weighed in on the Louis C.K. comeback? Because they’re all afraid of what the women might say. Are the women winning here? I’m not sure they are, because I will tell you the #MeToo movement has had little to no impact on male conversation – it’s only forced the behavior underground – which begs the question, are you winning the battle and losing the war?

Louis C.K. needs to be able to come back.

When? I’m not sure, but he’s an independent contractor, not given a fat deal by Fox or NBC or CBS… It’s right to set rules for those corporations publicly traded, but an individual?

And let’s not forget, Louis C.K. is the only one who apologized and went away immediately.

Even Harvey Weinstein is fighting the fact he did it, never mind those who followed in his wake. Does Louis C.K. get no credit for being a mensch after being outed?

That’s another question.

America hates sliding scales. America hates gray. It wants all its public figures to be squeaky clean, even though those paying attention to them are not.

I have no idea what went through Louis C.K.’s head when he masturbated in front of women. I can’t conceive of it. And I would never force myself upon a woman. If anything I’m waiting for a clear signal before I take action. This whole #MeToo thing has me reevaluating my behavior.

Am I the only man in America who’s a wimp? Continue reading →

It ain’t easy being a daily newspaper…

Not around these parts. Editor Mike Fannin’s recent column pleading with locals to subscribe to the Kansas City Star got me thinking.

With paid readership fading fast, online advertising producing a fraction of the dough print ads used to and subscribers waking up to the fact that they can bargain down the price of the paper to a fraction of what they’ve been paying, what exactly is it that’s keeping the ship of state afloat?

Think about it…

Take away four advertisers and the newspaper’s house of cards is in deep doo-doo.

Their new, out-of-town editorial board would have nobody to carp at except each other; sports columnist Sam Mellinger would have bump around with the drunks in the parking lot at Arrowhead; and “investigative” reporter Steve Vockrodt would be hard put to cough up the cash for a cabana rental at Schlitterbahn, let alone take the fam duck boating.

Which four advertisers, you ask?

Start with the hearing aid and erectile dysfunction businesses.

Once upon a time Royals legend George Brett was better known for his hemorrhoid problem than his hearing.

These days, the only thing anybody under 30 knows Brett for is the shit-eating grin he wears in the gigantic hearing aid ads. Which judging by their frequency must be quite lucrative…for him and the newspaper.

And although no local superstars have stepped into the advertising limelight for limp appendages yet, we can still bask in former Kansas presidential candidate Bob Dole’s having been the unofficial godfather of Viagra.

A tip of the hat to the Star for helping keep that conversation going. Continue reading →

During the early 1940’s Germany had at least two Nazi madmen…

Hitler was its Fuhrer while Adolf Eichmann became the architect  and mastermind of the so-called “final solution.”

He’s the one who organized the slaughter.

OPERATION FINALE is MGM’s new historical-thriller set 15 years after the war in 1960 when most of the war criminals had already stood trial—or committed suicide.

But Eichmann got away!

He was living in Argentina under an assumed name, pursuing a regular life with his family.

What he didn’t count on was the never give up drive of Mossad agents who against incredible odds set out on a mission to hunt, capture and extradite Eichmann to Israel to stand trial.

“For the first time we will judge our executioner.”

It was a high-stakes operation that sounded easier to achieve than it turned out to be.

Basically there are two acts to this film.

The first would be the planning and capture side of the clandestine operation which turned out surprisingly well under stressful circumstances.

“We got him. But how do we get him out?”

That was the major problem. Once captured and transporting Eichmann out of Buenos Aires became an almost impossible mission.

The extraction from the country turned into a nearly no-win situation with local authorities blocking them every step along the way. Continue reading →

C’mon Sam, you gotta focus brother…

Are things so desperate at the Kansas City Star that they are proffering illogical arguments to try and pander to drunken Chiefs fans?

If not, why is columnist Sam Mellinger arguing against a policy that could curb DUIs, needless public drunkeness and violence?

A new policy requiring Chiefs fans to either go into the stadium or leave the parking lot after kickoffs on game days would not have prevented a dude getting beaten to death five years back because he’d already gone into the stadium before coming back out, Mellinger argues.

The not-so-smart detail Mellinger forgot was that the drunks who kicked and punched the guy into the next world would not have been there under the new rule because they’d have had to leave after the kickoff. Duh.

In other words, the guy likely would have been saved by the new rule, Sambo.

Because the drunken mobsters would have not been there to do him in.

What the Chiefs should do instead, Mellinger minces is make a plan to do away with fights and racial slurs in the stands.

Huh?

Yeah, okay… and somebody should come up with a plan to eliminate violence and racial slurs everywhere else so terrible things never happen to anybody ever.

Talk about mindless utopian nonsense.

So instead of implementing the new rule, the Chiefs should be encouraging fans to party in the parking lot, Mellinger argues.

Uh, they already totally are.

How much more encouraging can they get than inviting fans in at 6:30 am before noon and 3 pm games? Continue reading →

Drunken expedition, anyone?

The Chiefs have coined a new term for drunken idiots: “core fans.”

That’s how Chiefs prez Mark Donovan characterized the team’s infamous, hardcore tailgaters in referencing a new parking area being set aside for younger, cleaner-cut football fans. Folks who come to the stadium to watch the game, rather than get schnockered in the parking lot.

It’s an offshoot of a new NFL-encouraged policy that says fans should either head into the stadium after kickoff or leave the parking lot if they don’t have tickets.

That after a Chiefs fan got beaten to death by drunken tailgaters five years back.

What a novel idea.

Instead of allowing fans to get drunk on their asses and wobble home afterwards, encourage them to stay home unless they have tickets.

Then again, there’s a reason the Chiefs want to squeeze in as many drunken fans without tickets as possible.

Because they collect $60 per car in parking fees on game days.

That’s half a million bucks a game if 8,000 cars show up. Continue reading →

Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse…

Hey, when you go from more than 2,000 employees to fewer than 200, you know times are tough. And frankly, when you’re Kansas City’s 800 pound media gorilla, there’s nowhere to hide.

Make no mistake, these past 10 years have  been butt ugly for the Kansas City Star.

It’s hard to imagine things being any worse.

Whatever could go wrong did go wrong.

Take high profile departures such as myself, Jason Whitlock, Brian McTavish, Kevin Collison and Karen Dillon. The list is endless. And while the visual quality of the printed product improved immensely via the new $250 million press pavilion, in today’s marketplace it serves as more as a reminder of how dismal things have become more than the proud status symbol it once was.

Remember when mighty Newsweek magazine was sold for a single buck?

The bigger they are the harder they fall in the print publishing game.

And incredibly, the folks who steered the ship of state into the ditch are still large and in charge.

Like editor Mike Fannin, a dude who instead of being demoted or let go as he might have by former Star owner Knight Ridder for a pair of clandestine DUIs and an affair with a married subordinate, was still Johnny-on-the-spot Sunday begging locals to keep sending in their money.

Talk about desperation… Continue reading →

On November 15th, 1969, I was there…

On the steps of the Washington D.C. National Art Gallery, during the Vietnam Moratorium Protests, where 500,000 people showed up.

It was a hell of a party.  

Two days in D.C. of chasing chicks and puffing the magic dragon.

We were all brothers and sisters back then.  Seriously.  

That in spite of what you hear from talking heads on Fox, CNN, etc.

Americans, though vehemently and violently disagreeing over the Vietnam War, still had common cause and agreed, that we were all “in it together” even if we hated the war.  

I was there, I remember.  

But that has changed forever.  

Over the last decade, the rhetoric from the left and their press pack dogs, has elevated every argument to the status of Def Con 5. No matter what the argument is, it ends up, that YOU ARE A RACIST!

From at the least halfway objective journalism of the 90’s and early 2000’s, our 4th estate has evolved into a tsunami of noxious, ideological swill.  No one that I am aware of disputes or  is even embarrassed that the coverage of the current administration is 92% negative.

Whatever minuscule pretense of objectivity is held in abeyance by way of  some “higher loyalty”.

Even President Trump has now used the dreaded “I” word – impeachment.

It’s now a real possibility.  Continue reading →

Are we done mourning yet?

I’d like to think we are – I am (or so I think) – but Wild Bill Nigro is not.

Yesterday for example, he had to endure watching the Chiefs loss all by his lonesome.

Nigro’s “normal” Chiefs game routine used to go down with deceased wild man Craig Glazer on the phone as they scaled the heights then plunged to the depths of despair with every win and loss.

No mas.

You gotta remember as well that Nigro and I were on the receiving end of endless repeated daily phone calls from Boom Boom – I mean, the Glaze – which in no uncertain terms was our cross to bear. So going cold turkey has been an adjustment.

Ah, but life goes on, right?

And I’m way overdue in delivering on my promise to ramp up the frequency of my writing here now that I’ve returned to the Cowtown. Even though I’ve had a billion excuses about getting resituated and embarking upon a new leg of my automotive career at – wait for it – Aristocrat Motors.

That’s right, if you are interested in exploring the worlds of Mercedes Benz, Land Rover, Porsche, Jaguar, Maserati or Alfa Romeo, I’m your man. Continue reading →

Let’s cut right through the hype and get to the down and dirty…

The filmmakers behind THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS believe in truth in advertising.

Like their main barker lines in ads that state, “No Sesame. All Street.”

And, “Sex. Murder. Puppets.”

Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Needless to say this very hard, R-rated, dark puppet satire is NOT for kids!

(One has to wonder what had to be cut from the film to escape the dreaded NC-17 rating?)

What we’ve got here is a cop/detective yarn set on the seedy side of L.A. with clashing detectives—one human, the other a puppet—who attempt to solve the brutal murders of ex-puppet cast members of a once popular children’s TV show.

What they encounter along the way (and in the string of gags thrown into the mix) borders EXTREME RAUNCH!

Nothing is sacred here. Continue reading →

I think he’ll understand…

But I’ll conducting my mourning in private – outside of my sharing with you here.

Some people need to go to church to harvest their religion. Some don’t.

I think it’s fair to say that over the past 10 years few folks – outside of Craig Glazer‘s brothers (and unofficial brother Bill Nigro) spent more time with the King of Sting than I.

Most of it was over the phone – Craig had a great need to share – and as those of us who let him into our lives however many times a day or week understand that.He would call at all hours of the day or night, blathering on and on and on about sports, politics, somebody-done-somebody-wrong, strippers (or “hot chicks”) and the price he paid for bedding them and having to listen to their boring stories. And that took quite a bit of time to get off his chest.

Put plainly, Craig was very needy Continue reading →

Ready for a conspiracy theory of Larry Sells-like, epic proportion…

Fasten your seatbelts cuz this one’s a lulu.

You may recall in yesterday’s column about my memories of Craig Glazer that it ended on an odd note.

I was writing about how in the early days of Craig’s column there had been a half dozen or so regular commenters who weighed in on his stories. And while I can’t fully recall exactly what made me suspicious, I began to notice that they all emanated from the same web addresses and times Craig’s comments came from.

When I made the case, Craig fessed up and they went away.

End of story?

Perhaps not.

Flash forward to two years back when Paul Wilson got fed up with the comments section Harpy known as JoJo, Harley and Boom Boom.

I remember at the time there being evidence that made me suspect it might be Craig.

Naturally, he denied it and life went on however it was an intriguing possibility.

For starters, it wasn’t like Craig didn’t know how to play out that hand .Plus there were some shared similarities between the two. Like knowing just enough to be dangerous. Yet at the same time, not fully understanding or possessing a more detailed knowledge.

Total Craig.

Now the interesting part: Continue reading →

Lucky me…

I started my, “I remember Craig” story Thursday before my computer crashed and left me high and dry with an hour’s worth of missing-in-action, unrequited  Craig Glazer love.

My only alternative:  start completely over.

Ugh.

Needless to say, I put it off all day!

So I’ll try and keep this short.

For starters, like everybody else in the local media I had little choice other than to deal with the infamous Craig Glazer.

I’m not trying to be catty here, but trust me, one way or another we all had to deal with Craig, And truth be told, I kinda liked it…somewhat obviously not everyone did.

But he was just too good at his job to ignore.

The smart money – at least that’s what I thought – was to just relax and enjoy the ride.

And it paid off!

Where else was I going to get on-the-record stories about Chiefs quarterback Steve DeBerg passing out drunk and sleeping in the widow well at Stanford’s & Sons in Westport? Or tawdry tails about quarterback Joe Montana? Or funny guy Adam Sandler bedding a Stanford’s waitress after his show at Sandstone. And then autographing his boxers for her as a thank-you souvenir? For which Craig set her up for me to write about, and then fired her after I wrote my story complete with her posing in front of the comedy club donning Sandler’s shorts.

Go figure?

You get the picture, Craig was shameless.

And if there was any doubt as to that fact it went disappeared the minute I allowed him to start writing his own column here on KC Confidential.

Which probably wasn’t the smartest thing I ever did, because who knows how many “normal” readers Craig ran off with stories about bedding mothers while their kids waited  outside his apartment in her car.

Or how many dudes he threatened to punch their lights out for insulting him here on KCC.

Remember when Marti Dolinar (under his online pseudonym smartman) agreed to duke it out with Craig in front of the Beaumont Club in Westport?

Craig was there Johnny on the spot waiting for the fracas, whereas smartman thought the better of it, no-showed and then taunted him here on KCC.

You guys have no idea how many such battles/brawls Craig participated in the past several years. I think I heard about most of ’em. Continue reading →