Today: Bourdain Does Stroud’s & Savoy, Pletz Death Update & ‘Toon Shop’ Redux

Posted on December 16, 2011 by admin

There’s a ton going on so let’s get going….

For starters chef, author, television host and culinary wild man Anthony Bourdain has been in town for much of the week, ahead of his perfromance tonight at the Midland by AMC. Earlier this week, roving KC Confidential comments catalyst Chuck Lowe caught Bourdain in the act, film crew in tow, at B.B.’s Lawnside BBQ. Lowe says Bourdain was swilling beer and swallowing KC ‘Q for an April edition of his Travel Channel show "No Reservations."

Wait, there’s more…

"B.B.’s manager Mike Shannon told me Bourdain was going to Stroud’s yesterday and the Savoy today," Lowe says. "So he’s making a week of it here in Kansas City."

Concert biz insiders may want to note that Bourdain’s show at the Midland tonight is being promoted by Jam out of Chicago with former KU SUA concert king Steve Traxler (who’ll be in town for the show) spearheading the promotion.

*******

Karen Pletz Update

Seems like only yesterday, Star reporter Tony Rizzo assured readers that Fort Lauderdale police would have a "ruling" from the Broward County medical examiner determining the cause of deceased civic leader Karen Pletz‘s death the following week.

Funny, when I talked to the medical examiner he said the full results wouldn’t be back for two to three months.

The Star story ran Nov. 22nd and four weeks later, still no results.

Pletz, the ousted former head of the Kansas City University of Medicine and Bioscience stood accused of embezzling more than $1.5 million, engaging in money laundering and falsifying tax returns. And trust me, there were plenty of other stories likely to be told once a public trial got underway.

So what actually happened to Pletz?

Florida police have not released a statement but have told Kansas City police Pletz’ death was a suicide.

That’s why there’s no rush to get the medical results back, which KC police say generally takes about 30 days.

Fort Lauderdale Police Detective Travis Mandell declined to address the specifics of Pletz death.

"We’re still waiting for the results of the toxicology to proceed with the investigation," Mandell says.

Mandell doesn’t know where the Star got the idea that the medical examiner’s results would be in so quickly because it usually takes from several weeks "up to six months."

*******

Toon Shop Flashback

With a name like "Toon Shop," can there be any doubt that the vaunted Prairie Village music & piano store is from an era long ago?

As in 1948, shortly after World War II.

Heck, back then they didn’t even know how to spell "tune" correctly. Or so it would seem. The closest my dictionary can come to making sense out of the "toon" spelling is either an Asian red wood tree or a cartoon character.

You don’t "toon" a piano, do you? So somebody was either being hilarious here or maybe graduated from the Craig Glazer Academy of Spell Checking. Kidding, of course.

But here’s something you may not know….

Back in the day, when the Beatles were on Ed Sullivan and WHB put out a weekly "40 Star Survey" that didn’t include a single Kevin Kietzman college football pick, the Toon Shop was where lots of folks went to buy 45 RPM records. You know, "singles." Kinda like the songs people download on iTunes.

Think they were called "toons" back then.

Posted in Food_and_Fashion | Tagged | 9 Comments

Glazer: A Black Eye for the NFL & Black NFL Players / The Drug Bust

Posted on December 16, 2011 by admin

NFL players – and especially NFL players of color – took a knockout blow yesterday…

On Wednesday, Chicago Bears wide out Sam Hurd was busted by the DEA for buying one kilogram (2.2 pounds) of cocaine. On top of that, Hurd had ordered 1,000 pounds of weed and up to 10 KIlograms of coke per week. That’s a wholesale value of just under a million bucks a week. Meaning this guy is a major supplier to dealers. Many of the dealers we are told being current and past NFL players.

In the double digits according to the Feds.

I heard about it first on 610 Sports with Nick Wright (and by the way, Nick and I made up).

Nick made two important comments. ONE: a guy buying this much ain’t selling a bag of weed to his pals. This is serious weight – Scar Face weight. SECOND: many other players will be named, this could be the worst criminal event ever for the NFL – way worse than the Michael Vick scandal.

This is a HUGE DRUG RING.

Heres a player, Sam Hurd, making $5 million for three years, nearly $2 million a year. And that’s not good enough? Most television stars don’t make that much money a year. And Sam’s a third string receiver – he’s only caught nine balls so far this season. Two million bucks? Scar Face Time…

You remember the Chiefs go-to-prison group; Tamarick Vanover and Bam Morris. Dealing, stealing cars etc. This is much worse.

The majority of NFL players today are black. And as Sports Illustrated wrote: "Almost all of the these players are broke or declare bankruptcy within five years of leaving the NFL."

Wow, each year 30 to 50  former players are arrested for drugs, stabbings, shootings, beatings and so on.

Look, steroid use is almost understandable in a League of MEN TOO BIG AND TOO MUSCLED UP.

I use them legally because I’m older and can get a prescription for steroids. If you are under 35 your body usually produces them naturally.

But dealing recreational drugs at these levels is pure greed and really stupid.

Lets hope no Chiefs are involved. Sam was buying the coke at $25,000 a kilo, and that’s high. So it almost had to be pure stuff. His boys would probably buy it, cut in half, then cut it in half again. The weed at $450 a pound was also probably good quality and would be sold at $1,000 or more a pound. Weekly.

That would supply this entire city and Chicago. These are huge deals.

Another black eye for the black athlete, which proves that being paid millions of dollars still doesn’t work. You still need an education which ALMOST NONE OF THESE PLAYERS HAVE.

Nick I’m sorry, but it’s true. These players are dumbasses for the most part.

Sure there are exceptions, but very few. The results have not been good so far off the field.

And now Sam will rat out everyone he knows.

I was a drug agent and I can tell you he will give up his mommy not to do the 40 years to life.

After he’s done, he’ll still get 15 years. What a shame. I hear he’s kinda a nice guy.

Two million dollars a year. Not enough, damn.

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 22 Comments

Sounds Good: Katlyn Conroy@RecordBar, Drakkar Sauna@Jackpot & Beena@ Jardine’s

Posted on December 15, 2011 by admin

All of the shows I’m recommending this week are at Jardine’s because, well, Beena threatened to stab me in the heart with a trident if I crossed her (again). 

You guys all know how she can be, right? 

I heard that one time she caught an employee taking a non-approved bathroom break and so to make an example, she murdered their whole family on stage in front of everyone. 

Yeah.

Then, as if that wasn’t enough, she locked the doors and made all the remaining employees listen to jazz for, like, an hour and a half…with no booze!!

Just be careful out there guys, you’ve been warned…

 

Friday, December 16th

Katlyn Conroy and Hidden Pictures at the RecordBar in KC

You may recognize Katlyn as one part of the local indie pop group Cowboy Indian Bear, who last weekend played a benefit with the Noise FM, and a few days before that opened for Florence and the Machine at the Midland.  But this is Katlyn’s deal on this night.  Her strong vocals lend themselves to melodic indie tunes, so that’s what I would expect from her on this new project where she enlists the talents of Hospital Ships’ Jordan Geiger. 

Also on the bill is local favorites, Hidden Pictures, a poppy band from Lawrence that combines nice songwriting with, at times, a minimalistic approach combined with warbled harmonies.   

Saturday, December 17th

Drakkar Sauna at the Jackpot in Lawrence

Despite the vicious rumors floating around about a month ago, the Jackpot is not done with their live music biz.  It’s a good thing, too, because over the years they’ve got some good acts and filled their fairly small room with hipsters pretty regularly.  I mean, who could forget the Arcade Fire show there several years ago?  So it was a relief when December 1st came and went without incident, with bands still adorning the tiny window marquee. 

Drakkar Sauna brings their old-timey brand of Lawrence folk storytelling to the stage Saturday night, for what is sure to be a "local" affair.  Yep, a lot of the college kids are gone, but the locals that have been around know that the Sauna boys can bring the hootenanny when they feel so inclined. 

Oftentimes using a single mic sitting in between them, mustaches flapping in the wind, Jeff Stolz and Wallace Cochran blend their yelping with a variety of instruments including the accordion, foot tambourine, and others to create a lo-fi whiskey soaked party.
  

Posted in Entertainment | Tagged | 4 Comments

Star Search: Star Sends ‘Thirsty’ Reporter to Jardine’s to Tell the Rest of the Story

Posted on December 15, 2011 by admin

Can I get a drumroll?

After two weeks of watching from the sidelines, the Kansas City Star is poised to enter the finger-pointing, media circus and soap opera surrounding embattled Plaza area jazz club Jardine’s.

Unlike Fox 4‘s fox hunt, count on the Star story being balanced. In other words, rather than just loading up on pissed off servers and a single musician who’s check got caught in a bank account freeze, the Star will weigh in with both sides of the story.

That being said, this is going to be a delicate tightrope walk for Star music man Tim Finn.

Let me assure you, Finn’s a music writer who doesn’t like wading into prickly situations like this one. It’s a news story he probably should have excused himself from owing to his – until now – rather friendly relationship with club owner Beena Raja. But instead the Finn Man strapped on his badge of courage and walked into Jardine’s Tuesday night to get Raja’s side of the story.

We’ll be reading Finn’s story later today probably, meanwhile here’s Raja’s take on it.

"Tim came in and I offered to buy him a Pale Ale like I usually do and he said, ‘No,’ " Raja says. "He had a different game face on. He had a ‘holy shit, serious’ game face on. Usually when he comes in he’s friendly, gives me a hug and always lets me buy him a drink or two.

"So I put the same (serious) game face on and said, ‘Hi, Tim.’ And he said, ‘I’m here to interview you for a story that’s going to come out (Friday).’ And then he said, ‘I’m going to have to tape you.’ And then I looked in his eyes and answered everything he asked and we talked for about 20 minutes."

There’s more.

"He said, ‘Are you open?’ And I said, ‘As of yesterday, yes.’ And he said, ‘Who do you have booked?’ And I told him, it’s one day at a time for me. And he asked me if I was going to turn the place into something else (besides jazz) and I said, ‘No, nothing is changing.’ And he was just floored – he was pale.

"And he said, ‘I hear horrible things from musicians and that they’re not going to work with you.’ And I said, ‘They are not.’ And I said, ‘For 18 years I have worked here’ and I told him everything is going to be the same. Except everything is going to be bigger and better and I’m moving forward."

Raja says she also told Finn she hoped things would blow over with the musicians who were upset.

"My number’s still the same, they can come talk to me," Raja says. "And Tim said, ‘You’ve got a big battle to fight.’ He said he’d talked to a number of musicians."

The between the lines on all of this is that the Star has very strict standards when it comes to reporters.

For example, when FYI editor and Jardine’s regular "Steve Paul comes in, he’s friendly but very reserved," Raja says. "He does not accept a free drink at all. But Tim Finn – I’ve never seen him this way – all of a sudden he’s like a police reporter, coming in and trying to intimidate me. His story will be out Friday, he said. He was the politically correct Star reporter, but guess what? I’ve seen the unpolitical side of him. I’ve never seen him like that."

Stay tuned….

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 33 Comments

Leftridge: Calling All Coaches- Who’d Like to Come to Kansas City?

Posted on December 15, 2011 by admin

So Todd Haley is gone, and though it’s only been a few days—that he’s undoubtedly spent sitting on his couch in basketball shorts, scratching the scruff on his neck and wondering where it all went wrong—we’re already picking over the corpse of his career and making wild assumptions and wish-lists concerning who might be next in line. The life of a head football coach is probably not a fun one, and it provides all of the safety and job-security of a one-legged lobsterman on a rickety fishing boat. 

But shed not a tear for the plight of the oft-embattled NFL coach; the average 2010 salary was a cool $3.25 million. And yeah, it’s a year-round job, despite its seasonal nature, and it consumes you. Your family life probably suffers, you have no free-time and your insides are just one giant ulcer of second-guesses and game film. That said, I mean, come on… $3.25 million.

There is never a shortage of dudes willing to work for one of 32 spots, either. Competition is hot. The problem with Chiefs’ fans is that they assume that someone who had success, who’s doing something else where they’re STILL making money AND have ample time to watch their grandkids play t-ball would want to go back into that world of 100 hour work-weeks and bad Chinese takeout.

Don’t get me wrong—it’s not an awful proposition. The Kansas City job is NOT a bad job, in spite of what some whiners would have you believe. Recent stadium improvements, a rabid fan base and a core of good, young, talented players on both sides of the ball are all part of the  recipe for “interest-drawing soup.”

It’s not a golden goose though, either. A recent history of futility, a meddling (and possibly clueless) general manager and a cheap owner who seems to care very little about winning make the job about as appealing as watching Andy Reid breastfeed a baby-seal.

A lot of names have been bandied about, and that talk is sure to intensify as the natives get restless and Romeo Crennel flounders his way through the last three games of the season. So who do the Chiefs have a chance to realistically land? Does anyone of note even WANT this job? Are we destined for another Haley-like hire—someone with no previous head-coaching experience? Let’s examine the possibilities.
 

Who the Fans Want but Won’t Get:
 

Marty Schottenheimer: So, if you’re seriously suggesting this, you’re not seriously suggesting this, right? Schottenheimer—he of the legacy years ‘89-98—probably doesn’t want this job. He’s 68. He’s mostly retired (aside from a bizarre stint coaching the Virginia Destroyers of the UFL and light television work) and seems to enjoy it—what, with the grandkids’ t-ball games and all. I think Marty-Ball is a long-shot… I mean really, can we see Schottenheimer and Pioli getting along? Schottenheimer and Little Hunt? I can’t. The Chiefs that he left back in ’98 are no more; in their stead, an environment void of passion and drive. I don’t think he’d want to deal with it.

Bill Cowher: Kansas City ties, but really, does it matter? Cowher stepped down from the Pittsburgh Steelers in 2007 to spend more time with his family, and though that family structure has changed– sadly, his wife died of cancer in 2010– he has given no indication that he’d like to return to coaching. He seems at home on the CBS set, and in true Hollywood fashion, he’s apparently playing the head coach of the Gotham Rogues in the new Dark Knight movie.

Sellout.

To be plucked from all of that glitz and glamour and plunked into the middle of this hot-mess (even with barbecue sauce) seems a little unreasonable. I don’t think Cowher’s going anywhere other than Shannon Sharpe’s house for this year’s plump, Christmas goose (not sure why I assume the Sharpe’s eat a traditional goose around the holidays, but I like to picture Shannon wearing an apron over his bright, purple Harold Pener suit, a carving knife and fork in hand, a thousand watt smile lighting up the room).
 

Jon Gruden: Take a lot of what I’ve said about the other two, and sprinkle in a liberal dose of, “I don’t think there’s anyway he and Pioli could coexist in the dining room of a Red Lobster, let alone week-in and week-out in an office-setting.” When not grinning evilly at the camera and interviewing college quarterbacks, Gruden is a man of passion. And though he manages his temper better in a game-setting—as far as I know, he’s never been called for a personal foul penalty while screaming at refs from the sidelines—he’s still a firecracker. This seems a little more likely than Cowher or Marty, but it’s still not happening.

Jimmy Johnson: I heard someone mention this somewhere… and then they started talking about sharing a bowl of Pho with a leprechaun and selling elephant meat to orphans. Point being, they were either delusional, or on drugs—possibly both. Kind of like the idea of JJ coming back to coach the Chiefs.

Who the Fans Want and Could Get:
 

Jeff Fisher: The handsomely mustachioed former leader of the Oilers/Titans will almost assuredly come back to coach at some point. Now, if that’s “next year,” and “for the Chiefs” remains to be seen. It’s virtually certain that he’ll be a target. He boasts a 142-120 coaching record, a multitude of playoff experience and one devastating Super-Bowl loss. It could be a fit, too. Fisher has worked with passionate and stupid owners before (Bud Adams), so you’ve gotta figure a stupid owner with a LACK of passion would be a breeze. He’ll be costly, though, so bringing him in would take a definite ideological about-face from the organization. Yeah, the more I type, the more unrealistic this one seems.

Brian Billick: I wonder if anyone actually wants this one. I’ve heard his name mentioned, but not necessarily in positive or negative connotations. It’s just been kind of… there.

“Oh, Brian Billick? Yeah, he’s a… coach, right? Whatever happened to that dude?”

Here’s why he’d be a really decent fit: this team has a young, talented defense (well, except for the line), and a mostly poor offense (bad QB, solid RB). You know who else had a young, talented defense and a mostly poor offense (bad QB, solid RB)? The Ravens. Perpetually, throughout Billick’s tenure, but most notably when they won the Super Bowl in ’00 with Trent Dilfer. Billick possesses an 80-62 regular season win/loss record, and is 5-3 in the playoffs,

You know, the more I talk about Billick, the more I’m convincing myself. That’s it. I’m sold. Billick for the win!

Tony Dungy: More Kansas City experience, but again, I don’t know how big of a difference it makes. It was years ago, a different world when he was defensive backs coach out at Arrowhead. Speaking of, it was years ago and in a different world when he last coached the Colts. It was Peyton Manning and Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark. I like Dungy, and to say that all of his success is due solely to one of the most talented offensive casts in the modern era is selling him short.

I DO stop and wonder, however, what his record might look like this year, standing in Jim Caldwell’s PF Flyers. Not saying he’d be winless—oh, no—but I wonder how many wins he might have… One? Two? Maybe three? Food for thought for those clamoring for a Dungy signing.

Who the Fans DON’T Want (and unfortunately, might get):

Josh McDaniels: Given the Patriots ties, the youthful impudence and the fact that he’ll come at a deep discount (because he’s LOUSY), this would make perfect sense for Chiefs.

And it sickens me.

The thought of the Chiefs hiring this joke-of-a-nobody makes me want to vomit blood and cry, all while punching a giraffe in the throat and defecating on a stack of Bibles.

This can’t happen, can it? (pleasetellmethiscanthappen, pleasetellmethiscanthappen)

…yeah. This could totally happen.

Romeo Crennel: I don’t think this happens—he’d have to go 3-0 for the rest of the year, AND do it convincingly, AND make an agreement to wash Pioli’s Suburu Legacy (that IS what most lesbians drive, right?) for the tenure of his contract. The man’s a fine defensive coordinator, but a head coach he ain’t. Sorry, Romeo.

Kirk Ferentz: Iowa’s head coach. Another possible hire due to the deep-rooted Pioli ties. Look, Clark—Scott—whoever’s reading this? Please, for the love of that great Tyrannosaurus Rex who lives in the middle of the Earth and controls all of life, no college coaches, PLEASE. We need someone who knows what it’s like to coach in the NFL, not somebody who’s learning at the same level as the young players. That might work for some teams, but not here, not now, not with this organization. If you hire Ferentz—or really ANYONE without NFL head coaching experience, you’re saying that you don’t care about ostracizing this loyal fan-base.

Don’t do that, please.

And if you do? I’m serious about the whole, “giraffe-punching-bible-pooping” thing I mentioned previously.
 

Posted in Sports | Tagged | 16 Comments

Jack Goes Confidential: ‘SHERLOCK HOMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS’-Game On!

Posted on December 15, 2011 by admin

The teaming of Robert Downey, Jr. with Jude Law and director Guy Ritchie worked extremely well in 2009’s SHERLOCK HOLMES.

The question being, could they repeat the magic two years later? The answer being, damn right.

Downey, Jr. as Sherlock reprises his role as the world’s most famous detective and Law returns as his formidable colleague, Dr. Watson.

And you guessed it, this 1891 cat and mouse game sports a new antagonist. He’s criminal mastermind at large Professor Moriarty, played devilishly by Jared (Mad Men) Harris who may prove to be Holme’s equal—or possibly even better!

What we’ve got in SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS is an action-mystery murder story of immense proportions, with evil leading Holmes to track the clues from an underground gentleman’s club across the European continent, from England to France, Germany and finally Switzerland. All the while as Dr. Watson is tying the knot with his fiance played by Kelly Reilley with Moriarty always keeping a step ahead of the game while spinning a web of death and destruction.

A game–no make that a plan–that could change the course of history.

Did I ‘get’ everything right from the start? Not really. It took me a while. But once into it I was fully emerged.

I could’ve done with a little less of Guy Ritchie’s heavily stylized slow-mo and/or stop-motion action and fight scenes. And some of Hans Zimmer’s over-the-top musical score coupled with bombastic sets of explosions seemed a bit much at times.

But all in made for a 2 hour and 9 minute long action-mystery of fun escapades, distractions and frantic pacing.

As to the final payoff in SHERLOCK HOMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS, I must admit that I never saw it coming.

I’m raising 3-1/2 out of 5 fingers in tribute to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

 

JACK GOES TO THE MOVIES: Friday morning’s at 6:40 a.m. on NewsRadio KMBZ Am & Fm and at 8:20 a.m. on 1660 RADIO BACH. Also anytime on Time-Warner Cable’s K.C. ON DEMAND. Channel 411.

Posted in Jack_Poessiger | Tagged | 1 Comment

Today: Fox 4 Falls for Phoney Picket Photo Op While Musicians Boycott Plaza Jazz Club

Posted on December 14, 2011 by admin

The most sensational scandal in the modern Kansas City Jazz history is unfolding before our eyes…

If you thought jazz was dead in this town, think again. Granted, lip service from the usual suspects and the undying passion of ardent aficiondos aside, jazz isn’t exactly a popular art form these days.

Far from it.

Don’t get me wrong though. There’s a ton of quality live jazz around town spearheaded by artists like Mark Lowrey, Brandon Draper, Megan Birdsall, Danny Embrey, Lonnie McFadden, Shay Estes, Hermon Mehari and Mark Southerland. It just doesn’t get much media attention, and outside of venues like the Folly, Mutual Musicians Foundation and Jardine’s, not a lot of foot traffic.

Speaking of foot traffic…

A pair of former Jardine’s servers and a handful of their friends layed down a small town news style photo op for Fox 4 tonight around 7:30 p.m. The servers and scab friends picketed Jardine’s for Channel 4’s  9 and 10 p.m. news. Is it actually that easy to get on local television news these days?

I thought you had to be murdered or die in a fire or car crash.

Face it though, outside of Channel 4’s shooting jazz fish in a barrel tonight, most red-blooded, Chiefs-loving Kansas Citians look at jazz as little more than dinner music or something their grandparents allegedly got off on.

Even when TV news dresses it up with a super scarey, alleged arm scratch from a 98 pound woman.

That aside, when Plaza jazz joint Jardine’s went dark two weeks back, some local TV new departments went tabloid with “reports” of wholesale staff firings and other unthinkable transgressions. Hardly the stuff of the Penn State or Syracuse malfeasances on the tawdry scale, but slow news weeks are news weeks too.

Credible news operations like the Star and local jazz blog Plastic Sax took the high road, while Fox, lead the TV news charge, throwing everything but Charlie Parker’s plastic sax at Jardine’s, while failing to get the club’s side of the story.

The bottom line: however many generations later, Kansas City jazz is the talk of the town once again.

The rumors and TV coverage helped spark a boycott by some leading musicians in KC’s  jazz community.

“Almost the entire jazz community has quit – they will not work for me," Raja says. "This is a joke – it’s stupid…They just destroyed their meal tickets. The entire jazz community quit on me, because why? Because I fired two employees and the others left?”

Yet despite the alleged efforts of a certain sax-blowing parent of one Jardine’s servers, Raja continues to be open and book acts, including guitarist Jerry Hahn and crooner David Basse this week. And she says she’s willing to bury the hatchet with the bands that betrayed her and hope for better days ahead..

As for the club’s future, “It’s my game now, it’s my club,” Raja says. “I’m not worried about it, I’ll do my job. I have shed all my tears. And for every tear that I’ve shed, I will make it better for myself and my new team. I’m not going to be a blues club. I’m not going to be a country club. I’m going to be the best jazz club in the world.”

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 46 Comments

Glazer: Nepotism, The NFl, Carl Peterson; Down & Out in Kansas City

Posted on December 14, 2011 by admin

It’s called nepotism…

You move up the ladder because a family member or good pal says so. Simple as that. Sure, some people have genuine talent, like Clint Eastwood and they slowly move up. But most Hollywood executives move up because of Uncle Bill or Aunt Jane. Same thing in the NFL.

"My son will make a great offensive coordinator." 

"Sure thing, Marty."

Hey, sometimes it works, but usually it doesn’t.

So Chiefs head guy Scott Pioli couldn’t control head coach Todd Haley. Scott wanted Todd gone last year, but Todd won, so Pioli had to wait. Scott brought  Matt ‘the franchise’ Cassel for 99 billion bucks so he gets to stay.

Yep, likely your starting quarterback for 2012 is Matt Cassel…again.

Interim Chiefs coach Romeo Crennel will likely stay on as Defensive coordinator. The new haed coach, like it or not, will be a failed-everywhere guy. A  TODD HALEY LIGHT like Josh McDaniels. He sucked at Denver and at St. Louis, but he’s tight with Pioli.

Enough said.

Liike law enforcement, the NFL is a business, nothing more. If a city will accept losing and being laughed at just to have a team – like we do – than so be it.

Our fans still believe and we still go to games. The Chiefs are THE news in this town, win or lose.

Why? Because the NFL has replaced movie stars, TV stars, Music stars and even "outlaws" as the No. 1 entertainment value in THE WORLD. Average players often make as much $7 or $8 million a year to sit on the bench. In Hollywood it’s pay for play. Only in the NFL can you fail at a high speed.

For example take Carl Peterson a failed GM here who will now get a RAISE if he goes to run the Miami Dolphins in Florida. A proven business guy but with little demonstrated ability analyzing NFL talent. My dog knew to keep Rich Gannon over Elvis Grbac in 1997. Had Carl done so….KANSAS CITY WOULD HAVE BEEN SUPER BOWL CHAMPS…for sure…but he didn’t.

Why? because Carl had all his dough riding on Elvis not Rich. So we give up a Super Bowl and Elvis was gone a year later. Then Rich was MVP for the Super Bowl bound Oakland Raiders. See how that works?

Since Hank Stram in the 60’s and very early 70’s, our football team has been a bottom feeder.

Yes, Marty Ball worked for five or so years, but no Super Bowls.

The Chiefs have had zillions of head coaches whose names we forget. Just like we will Todd Haley. Herm Edwards and Dick Vermeil  and many more. I’d name them for you but like I said, I’vfe forgotten them.  We’ve only had three general managers over that period though; Jack Steadman, Carl Peterson and now Pioli.

They all make millions, we pay the bills and we never even get close to another Super Bowl.

The fans take it up the butt again and again. What’s the solution?

Don’t go to games! Get on sports talk radio and bitch daily. Force them to care. If we yell long enough the Chiefs maybe will move to Oklahoma. Can’t win for losing, huh?

P.S. If Carl gets the $5 million a year job in Miami it will be because he’s friends with the owners. They know he knows very little about football but they don’t care. You go, Carl. I know, I know, "We have the best fans in the NFL, the best. We need to win for them," Peterson will in regards to his loyal fan base – this time in Miami.

Sound familiar?

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 5 Comments

Today: Anthony Bourdain Descends on B.B.’s Lawnside & the Ghost of L.C.’s Past

Posted on December 14, 2011 by admin

What in the world was foodie Anthony Bourdain doing today chowing down at one of KC’s ‘s lessor BBQ joints?

Making the rounds of local dining establishments ahead of his performance Friday at the Midland by AMC, that’s what. KCC reader and comments dude Chuck Lowe stumbled onto Bourdain at lunchtime today at B.B.’s lawnside BBQ in South Kansas City.

"I think he was having burnt ends when I saw him," Lowe says. "The place was packed and everybody was standing around looking at him and he had a crew filming it. But I couldn’t get near him because (owner) Lindsay Shannon was guarding him."

Like Lowe, my experience with B.B.’s cuisine has been mediocre at best. That said, the place has a kickass roadhouse feel and features some of KC’s best blues bands like Trampled Under Foot, John Paul’s Flying Circus and Samantha Fish.

Now back to B.B.’s and the nail biting that may be going as to how Bourdain will rate B.B.’s on his Travel Channel show "No Reservations" come next April.

Return with me now to a column I wrote 10 years back in the Star about a KC Magazine "Top 10 List for Out-of-Towners."

In it, KC Mag cited L.C.’s Bar-B-Q as one of the city’s best. Which sent local stockbroker Carl Finke over the edge. In a letter published in KC Mag’s following issue, Finke wrote:

"L.C.’s the best barbecue? You can’t possibly be serious. I have been to pretty much all the Q joints on both sides of the State Line, and I assure you that L.C.’s is the only one I would never even think of going back to. I couldn’t even finish my meal, not because there was so much food – which there wasn’t – but because it tasted so bad."

But after calling Finke to discuss the diss, the clouds parted and he realized he’d made a mistake. A bad one.

Finke meant to say that B.B.’s, not L.C.’s had Kansas City’s worst barbecue.

"I guess I had a ‘senior moment’ there,’ " the 50-ish stockbroker said. "I was completely screwed up. My wife read that and said, ‘Weren’t you thinking about B.B.’s?’ "

Finke attempted to make amends by sending a corrective letter to KC Mag and one to L.C.’s apologizing.

Now maybe we’ll see if Bourdain lets any local restaurant cats out of the bag at his Midland show Friday.

Posted in Food_and_Fashion | Tagged | 23 Comments

New Jack City: It’s Time To Celebrate the TIME in Overland Park

Posted on December 14, 2011 by admin

THIS JUST IN!

Fellow Overland Parkers. Your pain, suffering and seemingly eternal shame is finally at an end. Your voice has been heard. You asked for it, you demanded it. You wanted to stay on time and keep up with the rest of the metroplex. And guess what?

Santa has brought the greatest gift ever—albeit a little early —to downtown O.P.

The world famous Overland Park clock tower has been transformed and is actually keeping time again. Kansas City time, no less.

Not only do the clock’s north, south and east faces now give the correct time, the renegade west-facing clock that’s been stuck forever and then had its hands removed altogether, is back ticking along—RIGHT ON TIME.

Praise be to Chronos, the mighty god of time!

Posted in Jack_Poessiger | Tagged | 2 Comments

Hearne: Jardine’s Wants to Pay Off Former Staff Today & Move On

Posted on December 14, 2011 by admin

Olly Olly in come free…

In the interest of fairplay – in a local soap opera of historic, tabloid TV news proportion – I bring you the following message from the jazz club known as Jardine’s just off the Country Club Plaza:

Come and get it!

That’s right, as reported here last week, Jardine’s owner Beena Raja has her checkbook at the ready and wants to settle up with members of her now-former wait staff. Including the pair that were fired, the manager who resigned and the dozen or so others who vanished into thin air.

"I want to pay all of the employees," Raja says. "I went back through my records and I want to pay them today."

Just one problem…

"I don’t know how much," Raja says. "I need to get that from my (ex) manager and I will meet with them somewhere besides Jardine’s and I’ll have a lawyer there and I will pay them. But I need to know how much, including the tips."

To that end, Raja has sent messages and attempted to contact the manager, who resigned after she walked in on employees at 4 a.m. drinking illegally after hours at the club Thanksgiving morning.

"But he did not respond," Raja says. "I have not heard back from any of them. I’m waiting to hear and I want to settle today. I have all of my records. The other person I need to settle with is Dave Stephens and I’ll take that up with him."

Raja reopened Jardine’s Monday by completing a commitment to KC Confidential and hosting its Holiday Wilding It remains open for business with a full staff, musicians and a growing calendar of dates as Raja fills in for acts that cancelled..

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 33 Comments

Hearne: Blockbusted – State Line Blockbuster Bites the Dust & Romantics Flashback

Posted on December 14, 2011 by admin

Just like that, the Blockbuster near 77th and State line is no more…

The one Steve Rose and I go to. That is, whenever Rose’s family is in town for the holidays and my kids are hosting an overnight hang with friends. It was kind of like a Mission Hills / Prairie Village / Waldo  neighborhood institution. Albeit an institution on the brink of extinction.

When other Blockbusters and area video stores were dropping like flies the last couple of years, the manager there assured me his would be one of the last to go because it was some sort of regional headquarters or something.

Yet suddenly, last Tuesday employees got word from upon high and they were out-of-there in a flash.

Which gave me pause to reflect on the early days of local video stores. Take Video Venders, remember those guys? Video Venders actually presented my Wall of Voodoo concert at Parody Hall and Romantics show at the Uptown in the mid-late 1980s.

ZZ99 deejay Randy Miller did a live radio remote at the Video Venders in Mission before the Romantics sold-out show that same night, and the band was supposed to appear at the store for interviews and autographs during Miller’s remote.

Never happened.

One of my fellow stockbrokers at the time – who I’d drafted into babysitting the band the night before – told me they all got caught up in some kind of all night orgy of booze, babes and party favors in the Crown Center’s hotel. And there was no way the band were about to crawl out of bed that early in the day and do a remote. I remember furiously dialing my friend as he went from hotel room door to door, pounding away, trying to raise the Romantics from the dead. To no avail.

We were lucky they made it to the concert!

Meanwhile the ever resourceful Miller stalled for time before finally conducting totally fake interviews with members of the band. Don’t ask me how he did it, I wasn’t there. So other than Video Venders owners not getting to meet the act, everything worked out, uh, peachy.

Speaking of chaotic good times, was last week’s shuttering of the Blockbuster another sign that video software (DVD) rentals are fast going the way of the vinyl record album?

Certainly that’s inevitable, but perhaps not.

"They closed last Tuesday," says a manager at the Westport Blockbuster. "It had nothing to do with money, it was a landlord dispute."

However, real estate sources point to Blockbuster’s bankruptcy and uncertain long term future and say other prospects with brighter futures were interested in the location.

As for the Blockbuster staff on State Line, "Oh, they didn’t lose their jobs," the manager says. "They went to our other locations."

Posted in News_and_Views | Tagged | 2 Comments

New Jack City: It’s Time to Lay Off the Bogus Hyatt Criticism

Posted on December 13, 2011 by admin

I hadn’t paid much attention to the many stories about Hyatt’s refusal to financially involve itself in the proposed SKYWALKS MEMORIAL…

That all changed Sunday when I came across an absurd letter to the STAR.

Under the heading of "Hyatt Moral Debt" an Olathe woman wrote, "I am disgusted to learn that Hyatt Hotels Corp. will not be contributing to the Skywalk Memorial. They took money from Kansas Citians for 30 years, but when it came time to remember the 114 people killed and countless others injured or affected, they skip town."

Hold it right there.

Hyatt didn’t skip town. The owners of the hotel simply didn’t renew Hyatt’s management contract and reflagged it as a Sheraton managed property.

On top of that, Hyatt had no responsibility or blame in connection with the collapse of the skywalks. They weren’t the contractors on the construction. Yet for all these years since the disaster the company’s name has been wrongly tarnished with that infamous day at Crown Center.

It’s like me renting an apartment which later collapses onto the street and cars. Am I to blame?
No, it’s the apartment complex ownership’s and the developer’s responsibility.

Or if CBS  allows an f-bomb on the air by mistake. Is KCTV to blame? No, they’re simply an affiliate accepting and re-broadcasting a program under different ownership.

The FCC would put the blame squarely on CBS’s shoulders.

Put yourself in Hyatt’s position.

They were simply the renters of the hotel. Yet they got their good name slammed for years. Lost their management contract—and now are being asked to contribute to a memorial that would continue to drag their name through the mud for years to come.

Thanks, but no thanks.

The hotel always has been and continues to be owned by Crown Center Redevelopment Corp.—the good folks who also give us those feel good Hallmark Cards.

So when the writer to the Star "challenges Kansas City to hold Hyatt responsible for leaving town without paying its moral debt," I say she’s way off base.

"Maybe when Hyatt tries to build again in Kansas City, public outrage will prevent them," she writes.

Why did the Star – which screens its letters carefully – even publish this one?

Well, to my knowlege Hyatt has never built here and problably never will. That, of course, wouldn’t prevent them from ever managing a hotel in the market again. Someone else’s hotel—just like they did at Crown Center.

Posted in News_and_Views | Tagged | 24 Comments

Glazer: The Rise & Fall of Todd Haley and The Long, Sad Road Ahead

Posted on December 13, 2011 by admin

Well, by now you have all heard Chiefs coach Todd Haley is toast in KC…

Maybe that’s a good thing for Mr. Haley. Change was needed. There’s no need to dwell on the why, other than a couple points. Losing, hatred (which I told you back in September) between Todd and general manager Scott Pioli and no overall success.

One thing I have written about and talked about on radio is this: last year was not really much of a success. By year’s end the Chiefs were a bottom tier team – bottom 7 or  8 for sure. They had nothing other than a scat back named Jamaal Charles and a couple good-but-not great defenders in Tamba Hali and Derrick Johnson. Oh yeah, and D-Bowe. Not enough to build a winner with.

No quarterback, no titles.

We all know Pioli deserves the same fate. He’s been pretty terrible. Just a few good picks and almost no good trades. You need talent to win and we have very little. I don’t think any coach could have done that much with this mess.

Haley wants to look and act young and he is fairly young.

Scott wants a more buttoned down type. More like himself. Scott and Todd are both boring speakers. But the Patriot Way is a joke. No interviews (few with any real information), no player radio or TV shows, no real interaction with the fans.

That might work if you are a winner, but it doesn’t work if you are a gawdawful, which this team has been for decades.

Lets face it, we have not had but one real winning quarterback since Len Dawson, who is my father’s age, near 80. Only Joe Montana brought us two playoff wins in one season and a spot in the AFC title game. That’s it.

Our only close to decent developed quarterback was Elvis Grbac who lost in the post season’s first game.

The Chiefs have lived off the 60’s and early 70’s for nearly half a decade. Our fan base is now sobering up to the fact we are the Cleveland Browns and have been for too many decades.

Yes, Marty Ball worked to get us into the playoffs several times, but other than twice, we lost in the first round. Since then we have had no very good teams. And that includes the phony 2003 Dick Vermeil 9-0 start. A team that was the NFL’s worst all-time defense by season’s end.

Nothing anyone outside of this city remembers much or any of all that.

Who’s next?  They will try for Jeff Fisher but six other teams want him. I don’t see  the Chiefs paying $10 million a year for him and he may get that.

Why come to a big loser like the Chiefs with no quarterback and none in sight?

Todd Haley may have been a good coach but we’ll never know. He had nothing to work with. By the way the injuries this year DID NOT MATTER. CASSEL is a joke and those other players would not have won even two more games for us.

This club is lucky to be 5-8 or end up 5-11 or 6-10, where they belong. LAST. And that’s not all, or nearly all, Todd Haley’s fault.

I met him. I liked him. I feel kinda bad for him. Can’t say  he’ss good or bad…can you?

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 4 Comments

Starbeams: The Top 5 Accomplishments of Chiefs Coach Todd Haley

Posted on December 13, 2011 by admin

THE TOP 5 ACCOMPLISHMENTS BY TODD HALEY:
 
#5. Almost grasped the ability to speak in complete sentences.
 
#4. Made several people laugh by reserving a table under the name C-Hunt.
 
#3. Taught us how to shake hands without getting germs.
 
#2. Scruffy beard made us forget all about Gunther Cunningham‘s yellow glasses.
 
#1. Helped create the best NFL team in Missouri.

Kelly Urich is the morning host on The Point 99.7 FM

Posted in Starbeams | Tagged | 1 Comment

Today: Game On, KC Confidential Christmas Bash 5:30 pm Today @ at Jardines

Posted on December 12, 2011 by admin

The incredible lightness of survival….

Against all odds – or so it might seem – the annual KC Confidential Christmas Wilding will indeed go down at 5:30 p.m. tonight at Jardine’s. The troops will be out in force. Me, Glazer, Jack, Katie, Matt Donnelly, Mark Edelman, Tony the Tiger, Fitz, Mermaid, Tracy, Roger the Plumber,  members the comments hit squad and many more.

Think of it as a party out-of-bounds.

Flak jackets option.

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 10 Comments

Donnelly: LIVESTRONG to Host 2012 Olympic Qualifying Tourney, Turf Won’t Be an Issue Ever Again

Posted on December 12, 2011 by admin

Sporting Kansas City’s St. Patty’s Day home opener is a mere 90-ish days away, folks...

Recently, SKC announced several other events that will be coming to LIVESTRONG in 2012.  Most notably is the CONCACAF Olympic Qualifying Tournament, which will be in KC for the semifinals on March 31st, and the final on April 2nd.

Not a bad little grab for KC.

Also, the Big 12 inked a deal to hold their annual women’s soccer conference tournament at LIVESTRONG for the 2013 and 2014 seasons.

Since opening the doors to the public in June, it’s been non-stop for the new stadium. Until recently, that is. 

In its first five months, LIVESTRONG Sporting Park endured a full MLS season, a round of playoffs, men’s and women’s national team games, and several concerts including the 2011 edition of Farm Aid.

Though there certainly were kinks at times, most everyone who had the chance to visit Sporting KC’s crown jewel were in agreement that the stadium represented a step in the absolute right direction, both for the MLS, and for use as a multi-purpose venue.   

The “fan experience” at LIVESTRONG – arguably the most important aspect of Sporting’s business model – was almost across the board positive.  Sight lines inside the stadium are great no matter where you are seated, or standing for that matter.  The atmosphere of the Cauldron singing and chanting all game brought energy not seen at most other MLS venues.

Parking was easy and plentiful, with little to no wait time usually (and it’s not $27, it’s free).  Same with getting in and out of the stadium.  I am a last-minute type guy when it comes to getting to my seat, sometimes waiting until a minute or two before kick off to embark on the journey inside, and I must say it was pretty painless almost every game.

Once inside, restrooms were clean, and wait time minimal.  A wide variety of food options were available, from traditional ball park fare, to barbecue, pizza, fish and chips, Mexican, and more.

Now what about those kinks?

There’s really only one, and it’s kind of a big deal, the pitch or field for those of you easily confused. 

If you saw a Sporting game in the latter part of the season, you couldn’t help but notice huge chunks of turf ripping up whenever a player tried to plant or cut hard.  In what was one of the biggest games of the year at LIVESTRONG- the LA Galaxy game that featured David Beckham and Landon Donovan– the pitch was god awful.

Afterwards, Donovan praised the stadium itself but called the turf embarrassing and unsafe.  Beckham didn’t go quite as far, but he noted the crappy field conditions as well.

The question is, why did this happen, was it preventable, and will it happen again?

Sporting top dog Robb Heineman has talked about these questions a lot, and here’s my understanding of Robb’s explanations:

Why did it happen?  To paraphrase, the roots didn’t grow in enough.  And the field was overused due to SKC’s back-loaded schedule.  

Was it preventable?  This is the one that gets me.  Heineman was asked on Twitter, “So, basically, we just have overused pitch syndrome?  That and ‘KC is too damn hot during July/August’?”  His response: “We’re not gonna make excuses.”

That sure sounds preventable to me. 

I mean, they knew what they were getting in to, right?  They saw the schedule, booked the events.  Especially when Heineman followed that comment up with, “No team will ever experience what we have this summer.  There’s no comparison for usage, etc. We never will again.”

I take Heineman at his word on this one.

And I agree that the field should not have the same issues for the 2012 season, mostly because the games will be spread out over an additional three months, and the roots will have had time to properly grow in.  If the same issues somehow do persist, well, then I would expect heads to roll at the Legends.

So assuming the grass is proper next season, as it should be, what can we gripe about then?  Nine dollar beers?

Done and done.  

Posted in Sporting_Kansas_City | Tagged | 2 Comments

Glazer: Scribe Goes Undefeated in NFL Picks, Mourns This Year & Next Year’s Chiefs

Posted on December 12, 2011 by admin

First off, what a comeback by your humble scribe…

Perfect after Tim Tebow‘s comeback. Five for five so far in pros. What a year. Maybe more important with the Chiefs crushing loss to the Jets, your man is one game short of the Magic Number, 9 losses by KC to end the bet I made in September.

If you recall I flew to Las Vegas and put my money where my mouth is. I bet the Chiefs to have under 7 1/2 wins for the season. With 16 games, that means they have to lose at least 9. They are at 8 with three to go and Green Bay next week.

Bye, Bye Stink Farm.

Also Detroit won more than 6 and Cowboys are under 10, so that is up in the air. Wow, what a great, great season. Hope some of you followed in your pools or on-line bets etc…

Some people don’t understand what a tease bet is. Like whomever George is.

So here it is again.

First off all major sports books in Las Vegas take them. The bettor can add or subtract 6 points to the spread.For example if the Chiefs are a 10 1/2 point underdog to the Jets. You can take 6 points off the spread for the Jets, so now the Chiefs only get 4 1/2 points instead of 10 1/2. 

You must pick at least two games to do this with, not just one.

However, you can take the 6 off the over/under as well. So if the total points for a game is say 44, you can drop it to 38 and take the under and the favorite both with 6 off.

Get it? Good.

There are a few people who don’t understand that, but there it’s there. A very common bet.

Back to the Chiefs…

So we have a great defense? Really? I didn’t see one Sunday, did you? Four touchdowns in the first half to New York. One big run right over Derrick Johnson to start the game. Wow, a killer. Set the tone.

The Chiefs will now finish with maybe one more win over Oakland and be 6-10 and in last place. With no quarterback we have no upside. And no future for years to come.

Who will be the Chiefs coach next year? Who will be at quarterback? Who knows?

Doesn’t look good, huh? I will do live picks next year with the Mix. Our sports talk radio guys can’t take it. None of them can do what I do and they don’t want me on their shows showing them up.

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 17 Comments

Starbeams: Albert Rocks St. Louis, Weiss Waddles into KU

Posted on December 11, 2011 by admin

The University of Kansas has hired former Chiefs offensive coordinator Charlie Weis to be head coach of the Jayhawks.  A lot of people think he will be a perfect fit because a lot of KU grads spell wise, "W-E-I-S."

*******

The city of St. Louis is still in shock after slugger Albert Pujols has signed a $254 million contract with the Los Angeles Angels.  Albert is from Kansas City, so eventually that money will wind up in southern Johnson County.  The Royals tried to sign him…but they couldn’t work a deal where Albert would agree to be paid by the hour.

 

Kelly Urich is the morning host on The Point 99.7 FM

Posted in Starbeams | Tagged | 4 Comments

Leftridge: TV Talk: RFD for You and Me

Posted on December 11, 2011 by admin

What you choose to watch on a daily basis says a lot about your character. If you’re watching MTV in this day and age, you’re probably into debacles of human embarrassment, and you probably like to masturbate watching young, pregnant teenage girls scream at their ill-gotten infants.. If you’re into ESPN, you’re probably pretty boring, but you’re at least the kinda guy that can handle his own around the coffee machine (nobody has a water-cooler anymore, whatever the fuck that is). And if you’re into VH1, you probably like watching older quasi-celebrities make asses of themselves AND the early morning top-40 countdown ensures that your teenage daughter might raise an eyebrow over a plate of bacon when you offer an admittedly lousy critique of Gaga’s newest offering.

Keep trying, dad!

If you’re like me, however, you just realized that Time Warner Cable, that heathen of all metropolitan public cable monopolies, is now offering RFD, without demand, and as often or as little as you’d like it.

If you’re like me—and God help you if you are—you fall on the “as often as you’d like” side of the fence.

For those left outside of the barb-wired, hay-strewn circle, allow me to explain what RFD is.

Started in 2000, RFD is, well, just like its postal service namesake would suggest: Rural Free Delivery TV. What is rural free delivery? Well, that comes straight from the post office, the idea that mail is important, goddamnit, and every person near and far—in this case, very far—deserves to have their mail on time and without repercussion. 

The network first began in 1988, started by former Nebraskan farmer and Chicago Mercantile Exchange broker Patrick Gottsch. In less than a year, the failure of a station was gone. Vowing to eternally provide programming to middle America, the visionary continued on his path of evidential dissemination, and in 2000, he re-launched, much to no one’s approval. He stuck it out, however, going public in 2007, and it’s all been gravy since.

In 2009, the station, which reaches some 11 million people a week, was grossing $25,000,000. Not bad for a chunky guy with a mullet.

And how does he make that money? With quality programming that appeals to the lowest common (or perhaps MOST common, as much as we’d not like to admit) denominator.

RFD is full of shows about tractors, and soybeans, and cattle-selling and corn futures. If you watch it early in the morning, you’re liable to catch an auction. In the evening, however, as you’ve settled down to your rickety wooden table with a bowl full of greens, a serving-dish full of fatback and some good old-fashioned corn pone, you’re in for some entertainment, RFD style.

A look through their programming guide is like looking at a Branson travelogue, without the buffets and traffic congestion.

Reruns of Hee-Haw. The Marty Stuart Show. The Roy Rogers Show.

It’s like your grandfather found a doctor’s prescription pad, scribbled some bullshit on it, took it to the CVS, cashed that shit in for some boner-enhancement medicine, and raped the shit out of your television. (this happened… don’t laugh, please.)

God help us.

So I decided to check it out.

And tonight—Saturday evening (yep, I’m that kinda loser)—I watched two shows. I watched Larry’s Country Diner, a…. variety? show that takes place in a… well, a diner. It’s a fake diner, to be sure–  (I think, at least)—but there are people in the audience, at the tables, wolfing down chicken fried steak like it’s been outlawed, and women breathing into oxygen tanks as though their life depended on it (and, well, I guess it does).

The musical guest was one Mac Wiseman, 86, and wheelchair-bound. He sang songs and looked confused (not all that uncommon for someone of his age).

They also had a “did-you-know” segment that’s worth repeating… so, did you know that there are 293 ways to make change for a dollar? Yeah, nobody there knew it, but damned if it didn’t cost us five minutes of television time going over the potential sequences.

God bless the slow-paced life that some are blessed to lead.

After Larry shut down for the night—and night comes early at a country diner—I was treated to “RFD-TV Live with Boehringer-Ingelheim.” I didn’t stick around long enough, so I’m not going to lie, I don’t know if Boehringer-Ingelheim is a dude, or a pair of dudes or a heterosexual married couple. All I know is that I saw one dude, heavily mustached and quite serious, hosting the show.

The topic of the evening—as I’m sure it often is—was horse-health. And I watched it, and I learned. In fact, I’m ready to be there for you, and all of your equestrial needs. Just try me.

Is your horse suffering from PPID? I’m sorry to hear that. But I’d like you to know, there are medications that can prolong your equine’s life, medicine that, 5 years ago even, was frowned upon by horse-caregivers. But we’ve come along way, baby.

If there’s one thing I learned tonight, it’s that PPID- a dopamine deficiency in horses generally 15 years and older– is a serious concern amongst equine owners. Good news is that Prascend— "forward thinking in PPID"– is a great, FDA approved product that not only replaces essential missing dopamine transactors, but also combats reattachment issues between previously non-existent neurons and their required reactors.

Am I glad I know this? Yes. Probably.

PPID- commonly erroneously referred to or confused with Cushing’s Disease– is a manageable condition wherein the pituitary gland produces too many dopamine blockers. In Cushing’s disease, the ailment is similar, but the dopamine block occurs in the front third of the gland, whereas in PPID, it happens in the back third of the pituitary gland. Results are similar, but the process differs.

Essentially, it’s the equine equivalent of Parkinson’s.

Now let me work on your fucking horse.

See? It’s that kind of amazing knowledge that RFD drops on an unsuspecting viewer unwarranted, and without provocation.

Aren’t we all the better for knowing how to care for our ailing horses? Godbless you, RFD, and the wisdom that you impart.

And is Boxcar Willie on tomorrow night’s edition of Hee-Haw? One can only hope.
 

Posted in Entertainment | Tagged | 7 Comments