KC Confidential

Add sports politics to the circus going on in Washington, D.C….

When Missouri told the world late last year it was leaving the Big 12 for the SEC there was no shortage of pissed off Kansans. Starting with comments by KU basketball coach Bill Self and continuing on to the school’s official Facebook page with: "Missouri forfeits a century-old rivalry. We win."

So as the final Big 12 KU-MU basketball games draw near, do the KU faithful still harbor ill feelings towards the departing Tigers?

"You’re funny," laughs Lawrence promoter Brett Mosiman. "No. None at all."

Because Kansas would have done the same thing as Missouri if it were in the same boat?

"The same boat as having short man’s disease or whatever?" Mosiman quips. "They clearly had issues with their self worth."

Shots aside, what about KU setting aside hurt feelings and agreeing to keep the basketaball and football rivalries intact as a non-conference games? Something Missouri has publicly stated it wants to do.

That would be stupid, Mosiman says.

"It’d be like playing Little Sisters of the Poor in basketball because they’ve been so consistantly below us," Mosiman says. "We don’t need them to sell out Sprint Center, KU sells out Sprint with anybody they play and there are so many other good teams out there KU can play. So why should we split half the revenue with MU when we can get Dartmouth to come in for a couple grand?

"It doesn’t advance KU basketball in any way. And it doesn’t matter if we beat them or if we don’t."

How about the football game at Arrowhead that Kansas City and Mo. politicians are so bummed about losing?

Doesn’t make good business sense from a Kansas viewpoint, Mosiman says.

"You don’t see a lot of Oklahoma versus Ohio State non conference games in football," Mosiman says. "And KU is not going to go out and play an SEC team for kicks unless they become a perenial bowl team – and when has KU ever been a perenial bowl team?"

In other words, KU’s rejection of Missouri pleas to continue the series has nothing to do with being jilted.

"Missouri thinks it’s all about them, but it’s not at all," Mosiman explains. "We’re not going to play Missouri anymore than we’re going to play Tennessee or Georgia."

Mosiman thinks MU’s pleas to continue playing KU ring hollow at best.

"MU wanted to come out of leaving the Big 12 smelling like they weren’t the bad guy when they left," Mosiman says. "Which they were. They just wanted to try and save their face with the fans and politicians. They wanted to make like they still wanted to play the game even though they knew it didn’t make any sense and they knew full well that it was never a possibility. So that was a lame extension of the hand, it wasn’t real."

Don’t buy it? Read on.

"Missouri had an intense rivalry with Nebraska the past several years and did you see them trying to keep Nebraska on their schedule?" Mosiman asks. Of course not."

The bottom line for KC on MU’s bailing in Mosiman’s humble opinion:

"MU did great damage to the Kansas City economy and it should be held responsible for it."

This is a very unusual season in Lawrence…

And not just the weather. Basketball’s well underway but everywhere you go the scent of pigskin’s in the air. There’s a new phat dude in town and KU football fans are getting restless. They’ve all but put Missouri in the rearview mirror and out of their minds. However, instead of dreaming about going to the Big Dance, they’re buying KU football tickets.

Go figure.

To some in KC, hiring new KU head coach Charlie Weis was downright dumb. Star sports columnist Sam Mellinger labeled it desperate, calling Weis a failed head coach on his fourth job in four years with really bad health.

Mellinger didn’t quite have the guts to come right out and say it, but Weis isn’t just phat, he’s fat.

Just like former KU head football coach Mark Mangino, the dude who inspired defunct Lawrence retailer Joe-College‘s infamous "Our Coach is Phat" T-shirts.

All that said, Lawrence is stoked and here’s why.

"So far, so good," says Lawrence promoter Brett Mosiman. "He’s brought a lot of enthusiasm back to KU football. People are talking about it in the middle of basketball season and that’s never happened hardly.

"They’re talking about possible assistant coaches and that kind of stuff. It looks like things are looking up for KU football, so we’ll see if any wins follow all of this enthusiasm."

Mosiman’s a die hard sports fan who just runs legendary Lawrence artist showcase, the Bottleneck. He also created the Wakarusa festival and is the force behind the Crossroads KC concert venue downtown.

"Since Weis came on two top ranked quarterbacks have committed to KU," Mosiman says. "So ostensibly we have two 5-star quarterbacks coming in over the next three years. And they should attract top receivers and all kinds of offensive talent. I mean, Weis is an offensive genius. He has like three or four Super Bowl rings and look at Matt Cassel.

"Cassel was terrible in Kansas City his first year. Then his second year he made the Pro Bowl and then he was terrible again this year. And the only difference is that during his second year he was under the tutelage of Charlie Weis. Tom Brady was a sixth round pick and Weis turned him into ann All Pro, Super Bowl-winning, Hall of Famer."

Let’s take a minute to refelct on ousted KU football head coach Turner Gill. Gill was one very popular cookie in LA – despite his horrible win-loss record – owing in large part to the fact that he was such a standup guy.

Is there anybody floating around thinking Gill got a raw deal and deserved another year or two to get KU on track?

"You will not find that sentiment in very many barber chairs," Mosiman says dryly.

Praise the lord and pass the suntan lotion…

The heat is on in Kansas City and elsewhere around the country in one of the warmest late December / early January cold spells ever. The question being, how long will it last?

"I think the second half of January will turn much colder," says KSHB weather wonk Gary Lezak. "There’ll be a couple of cold outbreaks, one of which will be an arctic outbreak which will be really cold."

The reason for the recent and current balmy climes?

"It’s just the way the weather pattern has been," Lezak says. "It has to do with the arctic oscillation – all the cold air has been held up north."

The most benign holiday, winter weather in KC ever?

"Well, certainly in many years," Lezak says. "Last January we never hit 50 degrees one time and it’s 50 today and maybe 60 to 65 tomorrow. It was 65 New Year’s Eve and that was one degree shy of the all-time record of 66. So it ended up being the second highest New Year’s Eve here ever."

As for the prospect of snow, "So far we haven’t had an inch of snow yet," Lezak says. "But I think it will happen the second half of this month. But last January our first big snow didn’t happen until January 8th. And the lowest amount of snow in Kansas City since 1885 has been four and one-half inches."

Which Lezak expects KC to match or exceed before season’s end.

So is it totally boring lately for a dude who loves the uncertainty and dramatic changes and challenges of KC’s climate?

"Oh yeah, I want it to be winter," Lezak says. "But I’m enjoying the warm weather, too."

This just in from KC expat Joe “Guido Toledo” Welsh in Nashville…

The former 4 Sknns front man sends his wishes for a Happy New Year to all and wants to let devotees know that his band has a new jazz/rock fusion album out that’s also available on iTunes under Joe Guido Welsh.

"Think 1974," Guido says. "It features some heavy hitters – three original members (Roger Powell, Kevin Ellman & John Siegler) of Todd Rundgren‘s Utopia on it, along with Reeves Gabrels from David Bowie‘s band Tin Machine and some of Nashville’s finest. It hits radio this month and we’re hoping to tour Europe by the Fall of 2012."

Here’s the lineup:

"The live band is HOT with: Yours truly on guitar, Jim Riley on drums (Rascal Flatts), John Siegler on bass (Utopia/Hall & Oates), Steve King on keys (Keith Urban), Chris Rodriguez on guitar (Keith Urban/Faith Hill),
and Randy Leago on sax, keys & percussion (Shelby Lynne). We’ll have a DVD out by Feb. 1 on Amazon.com and we hope to get to KC this year. Maybe another 4 Sknns reunion – we’ll see."

Which brings us to Guido’s dark side…

"I will do my 20th year for Wal Mart this year," he says. "Go figure!"

Not that the G Man hasn’t been keeping up on KC via KCC.

"I’ve been following the Jardine’s drama," he says. "The sad thing is how it has hurt some of my best friends who rely on the club for a gig. Hope they figure it out soon."

Guido also went to the trouble of passing along one of those year end style lists by John Peck via Guido’s one his favorite bloggers, Timothy McSweeney:

"What Your Favorite Classic Rock Band Says About You.
– – – –

The Doors: You have been bitten by an animal while trying to get it stoned.

The Who: You own a Goldwing with a baby-changing station.

Ted Nugent: Your hair has at some point been caught in a ceiling fan, boat propeller, or lathe.

The Rolling Stones: You own three cars and no stereo.

Canned Heat: You own three stereos and no car.

The Beatles: You can do exactly 1.5 pull-ups.

Badfinger: You are a Beatle.

Deep Purple: Some part of a law named after a young girl applies to you.

Led Zeppelin: The first three things you smoked were banana peels, catnip, and poppies, in that order.

Jimi Hendrix: You are under 20 or over 65.

The Kinks: You have bad teeth and are good in bed.

The Guess Who: You have good teeth and are bad in bed.

Black Sabbath: Your greatest joy is painting unventilated rooms.

David Bowie: There is still, somewhere, a Dig Dug or Zaxxon machine with your high score on it.

Mott the Hoople: You are David Bowie.

The Moody Blues: You are a former volunteer at the Liberace museum, a serial killer, or both.

The Grateful Dead: Your stories about the seventies make your daughter’s roommates at Tufts very uncomfortable.

T-Rex: No matter how much you clean, there will always be trace amounts of glitter on your stove and blender.

The Eagles: You can only reach orgasm while listening to talk radio.

Pink Floyd: Your garage is full of failed versions of your stereo/barbecue hybrid.

Thin Lizzy: You are often forced to change or cancel your plans due to NO LOITERING signs.

ZZ Top: Your favorite Hank Williams is Hank Williams, Jr.

Chicago: You are incapable of talking about Chicago without mentioning their horn section.

Quicksilver Messenger Service: You become sullen when people don’t stick around while you fix their vacuum cleaners.

Crosby, Stills & Nash: You own an oversized hat.

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young: You own three or more oversized hats.

Jefferson Airplane: You make your living buying and selling oversized hats.

AC/DC: You only remove your socks to shower, and then only reluctantly.

Aerosmith: You know a store that still sells puffy Reeboks.

Van Halen: You have a Peeing Calvin bumper sticker on your Jeep.

Sammy Hagar: You have a Peeing Calvin bumper sticker on your Subaru Brat.

Bachman-Turner Overdrive: You have an actual urine stain on your Subaru Brat.

Uriah Heep: You are the cause of the urine stain.

Santana: You have had an hours-long conversation with someone before realizing it was just a pile of clothes.

Rainbow: You have worn sweatpants to a funeral.

Foreigner: You have a severely wrinkled Jane Fonda poster under your bed.

Styx: You have a severely wrinkled Foreigner poster under your bed.

Allman Brothers Band: You do not own a bong, but can quickly make one from a piece of fruit or an abandoned toilet.

Bad Company: You have sustained several alcohol-related injuries involving sheetrock.

Cream: You know a guy who knows a guy who worked on Star Wars.

Journey: You own those running shoes that are shaped like feet.

Lynyrd Skynyrd: You somehow have both long hair and a sunburned scalp.

Yes: Your ideal partner would be into both tantric sex and fat guys.

Creedence Clearwater Revival: You are frequently missing part of an eyebrow.

Rush: You carry a small flashlight everywhere, and use it at least three times a day.

Blue Cheer: You have a subset of friends whose sole purpose is to hold your hair while you vomit.

Boston: Your best friend really likes Blue Cheer.

Steely Dan: You have snorted cocaine off a copy of Remembrance of Things Past.

Fleetwood Mac: You have snorted cocaine off a copy of The Hobbit.

Blue Oyster Cult: You have snorted cocaine off a copy of Type 2 Diabetes for Dummies.

Mountain: You have snorted cocaine off a Blue Oyster Cult record.

Nazareth: You have snorted cocaine off a member of Mountain.

Hawkwind: You sell cocaine to Nazareth fans.

Molly Hatchet: You sell baking soda to Hawkwind fans and tell them it’s cocaine.

Jethro Tull: You have a favorite rune.

Kiss: You have partied on a boat in a driveway.

Queen: You have injured several people by jogging into them.

The Byrds: There is a thin layer of sand on the bottom shelf of your fridge.

Bob Dylan: You have the Swiss army knife that comes with a map reader and tweezers.

Electric Light Orchestra:You have three lava lamp bases and five tops.

Mike Oldfield: You have five lava lamp bases and three tops.

The Beach Boys: You won’t live anywhere without a built-in microwave.

The Band: You have misspelled your name while carving it into a picnic table.

Genesis: You know what a steeplechase is.

The Zombies: You know what French cuffs are.

The Doobie Brothers: You have swallowed exactly two spiders—one accidentally, one on purpose.

Warren Zevon: You have a jacket with elbow patches.

.38 Special: You have a tattoo of an animal driving a vehicle.

Bob Seger: You lost your virginity in a Chevette with a spoiler.

The Georgia Satellites: You lost your virginity in a Chevette that was being towed.

REO Speedwagon: You have a favorite brand of lip balm.

Bay City Rollers: Your shower has flower-shaped traction pads.

Bruce Springsteen: Your ringtone is either “Takin’ Care of Business” or “Chariots of Fire.”

UFO: You have burned yourself while urinating on a campfire.

Slade: You have smoked speed through a TV antenna.

Procol Harum: You have smoked hash through an antique rifle.

Heart: You have smoked chamomile tea through a hookah.

Alice Cooper: You have a photo of your dog wearing sunglasses on your phone.

Foghat: You swim in man-made lakes exclusively.

Stevie Ray Vaughan: You have a bolo tie in the shape of a gun, guitar, or state.

Stealer’s Wheel: You own an adding machine.

Traffic: You have several incense scars.

Emerson, Lake and Palmer: You have several self-inflicted incense scars.

Jackson Browne: Your favorite cola is RC Cola.

Hall and Oates: You have successfully fought someone off with a ski.

Blind Faith: You constantly misuse the word “penultimate.”

Billy Squier: Your vanity plates say ROKRMOM.

Neil Young: You know at least three stores that sell bidis.

America: You think America is Neil Young.

Joni Mitchell: You have accidentally eaten more than half of a scented candle.

Montrose: You have used a bandana as a coffee filter.

Steppenwolf: You have three or more cigarette burns in hard-to-reach places.

Golden Earring: You have three or more intentional cigarillo burns.

Jimmy Buffett: You have used AAA as a cab.

Brownsville Station: You have tried to use AAA without a car.

Meat Loaf: You have a mustard stain on your mousepad.

Joe Walsh: You have fired a gun while in your underwear.

Don Henley: You have been shot at while in your underwear.

Bread: You have a cordless phone with an extendable antenna.

Donovan: You have a non-mammal pet with a human name, e.g. an iguana named Phillip.

Joe Jackson: You are an excellent speller.

Steve Miller Band: You have not yet figured out how to turn off the hourly beep on your digital watch.

Grand Funk Railroad: You have become stuck trying to retrieve a quarter from behind a stove.

Blood, Sweat & Tears: You have become stuck trying to retrieve your friend who likes Grand Funk Railroad from behind a stove.

Little River Band: You have used a riding lawnmower to flee across state lines.

Big Brother and the Holding Company: Your coffee table is a big wooden spool.

Alabama: You are from Alabama.

Kansas: Your first kiss was with a Toto fan.

Toto: You don’t really remember your first kiss.

MC5: You have barbecued a whole chicken at 3 am.

Ozzy Osbourne: You have barbecued a frozen pizza at 3 am.

Dio: You have accidentally dropped a flashlight into a barbecue.

King Crimson: You have spent an entire afternoon watching a screensaver.

Eric Clapton: You yell when you play table tennis.

Marshall Tucker Band: You wear black socks with white shoes.

Little Feat: You have hit a baby with a frisbee.

Buffalo Springfield: You have broken a reinforced window with a frisbee.

Blackfoot: You have stolen a wine cooler from the back of a pickup truck.

New Riders of the Purple Sage: You have been bitten by a Blackfoot fan while trying to get your wine cooler back."

Just when you thought it was safe to go back outside…

Reports of new ownership and management at Jardine’s may be a bit premature, say former Jardine’s co-owner Pat Hanrahan and businessman Paul Wilson, who is still in what he has been told are negotiations to buy the local jazz club.

In other words, a report that local businessmen Robert McCain and Joseph Fulgenzi have purchased Jardine’s and Hanrahan will now run the show are questionable at best, Hanrahan says.

"I don’t know what the hell is going on over there," he says. "There’s all kinds of things going on, but I don’t think anything’s been finalized yet."

Case in point, Jardine’s 2012 calendar remains a complete blank.

Hanrahan did meet with McCain and Fulgenzi and Jardine’s owner Beena Raja late last week and discussed his returning to Jardine’s but that’s as far as things got, he says.

"It appeared to me that they had made some kind of deal with Beena and they talked to me about contacting the musicians and I said, if she’s out of there, I’d be glad to contact them. And they talked to me about my involvement and I told them I’d be interested."

So now what?

"I don’t know, she’s talking to these people and I think they’re close to a deal," Hanrahan says. "And she’s talked to Paul Wilson and some other people who are interested, but if it doesn’t work out, she’s looking for other options."

Raja could not be reached for this column.

Hanrahan was at Jardine’s New Year’s Eve bash Saturday.

"I helped out," he says. "I wasn’t really needed though because the people they brought in to wait tables and tend bar did a great job. They had over 90 people in there and the people had a good time and were having fun."

Hanrahan’s take on Jardine’s current sad state of affairs:

"As far as I’m concerned, Beena has lost all control. She lost control of the club, she lost control of herself and the staff took full advantage."

Hanrahan’s 2012 forecast for Jardine’s future?

"Somebody will take it over, but I don’t know who it will be" he says. "And if the right people are in there and it’s run correctly, it will be successful."

There you have it, the beat goes on…

I have been to the mountain and I’m back…

And I can now tell you that aside from its many sports, pizza and coffee bar offerings, the two-year-old Oread hotel high atop the University of Kansas campus is a bust.

At least as an upscale hotel.

It kicks ass as a sports bar hang for thirsty KU students and out-of-town parents. But its stately stone facade makes promises that the eleven-story ediface doesn’t come close to delivering on.

Despite its critics, the Oread fits in just fine with the other classic stone structures that dot the nearby KU campus.

But here’s the deal…

From the outside the Oread looks like an elegant, grand hotel – from the outside. However, after dropping $200 on one of the Oread’s "King Suite" rooms on New Year’s Eve (and staying in a lesser room a year ago), I can report that it’s basically little more than a glorified Comfort Inn, minus the standard issue, in-room coffee pot.

I don’t know if they ran out of money mid-project or simply hired a really bad decorator, but the Oread’s stark, souless, cookie-cutter rooms are adorned with mostly cheap furniture and empty walls, sparsely populated by faux art prints of old barns, cattle and meandering stone walls. Clearly not the stuff of an upscale hotel. Not even close.

Don’t get me wrong; it’s new and it’s nice but ceiling fans with plastic, fake wood blades?

The bottom line on the Oread experience: think upscale cheap.

Then there’s the restaurant, which early on locals buzzed was supposed to be a pretty big deal. I almost bought into that at first a year ago until I visited the Oread’s Web site and learned the chef had come from a Westport brewpub. That’s been remedied.

But when was the last time you ordered Caesar salad and got overdressed shredded cole slaw-like lettuce with sweet croutons?

Or when was the last time you stayed at an upscale hotel that provided ear plugs along with a note that reads – and I quote – "We hope you enjoy the vibrant nightlife that is ever present so near the KU campus. Unfortunately, this fun is often accompanied by late night noise. Please make use of the complimentary ear plugs if you feel necessary. Have a good night’s sleep!"

Then again, maybe it’s just me.

My King room came with a pair of massive 52-inch LED screens. Enabling one to easily host a Super Bowl or Final Four gang bang with a dozen of your closest, noisiest Jayhawks.

Then there’s the Cave nightclub.…

"Imagine a multi-tiered parking garage that’s been converted into the sleekest speakeasy ever, and you’ve kind of got The Cave," the Lawrence Journal World writes. "The Cave isn’t really one club but a series of ‘pocket bars’ scattered throughout the four sub-levels."

Self-described as"Lawrence’s Hottest Nightclub," the Oread promises to charge all of the Cave’s regular $5 to $10 cover charges to your room.

"Come to the front desk to obtain a Cave pass," a brochure advises. "After obtaining your pass, you will be escorted down the elevator to join the fun."

The $64 million question: If a fire or fight breaks out, how quickly can the throngs in the four-level, multi-bar club be escorted out?

"They must have made a deal with the fire marshall to get that thing approved," quips one local nightclub owner.

And talk about excessive hedonism, the Cave’s New Year’s Eve package (at $40 to $45 per person) came with a whopping 15 drink tickets. Fifteen drinks per person?

Anybody remember that KU freshman who died of alcohol poisoning two years ago?

KCC music man and Lawrence resident Matt Donnelly‘s take on the Cave:

"Among locals it’s known mostly as a bro hangout," Donnelly says. "They usually have dance-type music being played by lower level DJs with laptops.  I know that it does get packed sometimes, but I never even think to go there.  Then again, I’m not a bro. 

"It is a bit odd, too, that it’s so far underground.  That could be a cool concept, but with all the stone and heavy metal fixtures and stuff, it kind of makes it feel like a medieval dungeon.  That juxtaposed against flatscreens and martini bars just turns it into a weird concept for me."  

When it comes to tangled webs, it doesn’t get much more convoluted than Jardine’s…

At least for now, the confusion and uncertain future of Kansas City’s top jazz club has been stemmed. things came to a head yesterday when Chartwell Realty main man Joseph Fulgenzi and his partner Robert McCain walked into the offices of the Pitch to buy advertising, identifying themselves as the new owners of Jardine’s.

Think perfect storm.

Perfect in the sense that Chartwell is Jardine’s nextdoor neighbor and a respected tenant of the American Century-owned building that houses Jardine’s. And perfect also because former Jardine’s co-owner Pat Hanrahan has agreed to return to the club and oversee its operations and the booking of local jazz bands.

Hanrahan’s return is key because of the musician boycott that errupted in the wake of the last month’s confusion that left the club mostly dark.

The exact behind-the-scenes on these developments may never be known to the public. But most importantly, the club will reopen tonight, as reported here a few days ago, and going forward Jardine’s plans to return to its longtime mission of showcasing Kansas City’s leading jazz artists.

Owner Beena Raja‘s exact role in any and all of the above remains murky, but at this point Raja says she hopes to remain in Kansas City and seek employment elsewhere.

This much I can tell you; the new chandeliers and sconces are in and Jardine’s has never looked better.

I spoke briefly with a delighted Hanrahan and McCain while I was traveling yesterday and hopes are high.

As for exiled former Jardine’s staffers, the jury is still out.

A new staff has been hired, McCain says, and while former employees are free to re-apply, it’s a safe bet that many will have a snowball’s chance in hell of making it back into Jardine’s fold. And they know who they are.

However, knowing what I at least think I know, there are a number of first class staffers who got caught up in the confusion who I suspect would be welcomed back should they desire to return.

My advice to local live jazz music afficionados: knock on wood.

Amidst rumors of a deal to retool Jardine’s, the Plaza jazz club has announced plans to be open for New Year’s Eve...

"Jardines has a new team that will start on New Year’s Eve," says owner Beena Raja. "Its a party with the Pete Cole Quartet featuring the one and only Chris Clark on piano. And we will jazz it out from 8 p.m. to 1 a.m. with a $5 cover."

Attendees can opt for the four course NYE menue at $35 per person or you can order a la carte.

1st course: French onion soup or Jardines house salad

2nd course: Brushetta or fried calamari

3rd course: KC strip, Grilled Salmon w/ lemon butter or Rosemary Chicken

all served with new potatoes and asparagus

4th course: Choclate surprise with raspberry sauce
or Cheese cake with raspberries

Champagne toast and party favours at midnight