Glazer: Love on the Rocks, Valentine’s Day 2012 in Kansas City

In recent years Valentine’s Day has become one of THE THREE go out nights of the year…

It replaced New Year’s Eve for couples shortly after the year 2000. I can attest to that at Stanford and Sons. Valentine’s week has been in our Top Three for like a decade.

But for some reason, this year it got lost!

I could feel the lack of energy towards this lover’s mash two weeks out. There just wasn’t any buzz. Like, "Hey, where you going for Valentine’s?"  And while married people and couples are almost forced to go out, at least to eat, they often say, "New Year’s is amateur night – we don’t want to get a DUI."

By the way, New Year’s Eve is a nearly dead night compared to a decade ago.

Look, this isn’t to say nobody went out, it just was very light. I realize it was a Tuesday and that hurts, of course. Last year Valentine’s Day fell on a Monday and the weekend was packed for us and many other restaurants and night spots. Even that Monday was fairly busy, given that it was a Monday.

I went to the Plaza to see if it had the upper hand.

Nope, nothing special there last night. A little busier than a normal Tuesday maybe, but not much. Seasons 5 was half empty. Gram and Dun was slow. Even the new hot spot Zocalo was light. I expected to see at least a fairly full bar and dining area there, but no. I ate there and the food was better than it has been. The staff was on top of things and all smiles. I really like the atmosphere. However there were no Valentines in sight.

Stanford’s was decent, but down a shade from last year.

Raising the question of if love starting to become a fading feeling?

I hope not, but it does seem like most holidays are increasingly being looked at like excuses for people to have to go out and buy stuff or get just get a card. Who has time for the sentiment? That includes Christmas.

Yeah, good old-fashioned sentimentality is fading fast.

Well,maybe we’re in luck – Monday is Presidents Day and that will kill for sure.

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 4 Comments

Hearne: Jason Whitlock Gets His You-Know-What in a Racism/Sexism Ringer

From the penthouse to the you-know-what house in two short years…

When former Star sports columnist Jason Whitlock imploded his way out of KC two years back, he went out in style. Kinda. By taking a huge public dump on the local newspaper and outing his boss – Star editor Mike Fannin – for allegedly dipping his pen in the company ink.

Nevermind that few at the Star likely disagreed with him.

As the details about Fannin and the Star grew more sordid, 610 Sports host Nick Wright pulled the plug on Whitlock and listeners were left to their imaginations as to what Fannin may have enacted that January night.

Whitlock’s trashing of his former employer wasn’t a first – nor even a second.

The Fat Man had already burned bridges with former employers, WHB, ESPN and Entercom.

Just the behind-the-scenes stories I’d heard about Whitlock would have been enough to make the Star fire about any other employee – present company included – but Star editors and publishers relished Whitlock’s ability to pimp readers and stitch together WWE-like sports soaps.

The kinda stuff that sells newspapers, they said.

But now that Whitlock’s gone – and continuing to write for Fox Sports online – aside from calling in to try and match wits with Wright on 610, the Big Fella’s all but dropped from sight. As if he’s waiting for another Don Imus racial moment to buy another ticket on Oprah.

Whitlock’s ticket arrived this past week.

In the form of an "unfunny" Tweet he issued last Friday that he was forced to apologize for. About rising NBA star Jeremy Lin after Lin scored a sensational 38 points against the Lakers that night.

"Some lucky lady in NYC is gonna feel a couple inches of pain tonight," Whitlock Tweeted.

Get it, the Asian dude may have scored lots of points against the brothers, but he only had two inches where romance was concerned.

Yahoo SportsKelly Dwyer‘s take on Whitlock’s gaffe:

"Tell me, have you ever read a Jason Whitlock column on the NBA? Do you even think to go to him when NBA news breaks? Jason Whitlock knows this. He’s also an unfunny boor with a massive ego, and the combination of those factors plus his NBA irrelevancy leads to Twitter comments like this."

Ouch!

"There are funny jokes, and then there are unfunny jokes that mix with needless racial stereotyping and the laziness that comes from not even bothering to look up the fact that the Knicks would be flying to Minneapolis directly after Friday’s game," Dwyer continues. "On Sunday, after much criticism and derision, Whitlock came through with an apology of sorts."

Whitlock’s apology:

"The couple-inches-of-pain tweet overshadowed my sincere celebration of Lin’s performance and the irony that the stereotype applies to pot-bellied, overweight male sports writers, too," Whitlock wrote Monday. "As the Asian American Journalist Association pointed out, I debased a feel-good sports moment. For that, I’m truly sorry."

The apology was in response to the Asian American Journalists Association calling Whitlock out for racism.

"Dear Mr. Whitlock," it begins. "Where do we begin?

"Let’s start by saying that your tweet in the midst of the Jeremy Lin hoopla was inappropriate on so many levels. Certainly, it doesn’t hold up to the conduct of responsible journalists, those in sports or otherwise, who adhere to standards of fairness, civility and good taste. Nor does it meet the standards of Fox Sports, with which you are associated.

"Outrage doesn’t begin to describe the reaction of the Asian American Journalists Association (AAJA) to your unnecessary and demeaning tweet of Feb. 10 after the New York Knicks played the Los Angeles Lakers: ‘Some lucky lady in NYC is gonna feel a couple of inches of pain tonight.’

"Let’s not pretend we don’t know to what you were referring. The attempt at humor – and we hope that is all it was – fell flat. It also exposed how some media companies fail to adequately monitor the antics of their high-profile representatives. Standards need to be applied – by you and by Fox Sports.

"The offensive tweet debased one of sports’ feel-good moments, not just among Asian Americans but for so many others who are part of your audience.

"Where do we go from here? How about an apology, Mr. Whitlock."

Dwyer’s take on Whitlock’s apology:

"Whitlock’s not going anywhere, though some called for and even expected his dismissal from FOX over the weekend. The Asian American Journalists Association was more than correct in looking past the "not funny" aspect of Whitlock’s noise and calling out his blatant stereotyping…Whitlock, per usual, will be dutifully ignored by NBA fans until he says another stupid thing about the league."

Dwyer wasn’t alone is nailing Whitlock for racism but other journalists busted him for sexism as well.

"Whitlock, who often takes on what he sees as racism in sport, does not seem to get the contradiction of speaking out about racism when it applies to black people, but feeling totally comfortable expressing racist sentiments about Asians, writes Pat Griffin of opposingviews.com. "Whitlock, in addition to using an ugly stereotype for Asian men, seems to think that inflicting sexual pain on women is an appropriate way of celebrating a great athletic performance…Whitlock’s comment is offensive to Asian men and all women. Why haven’t more men who object to Whitlock’s racism also criticized his sexism?"

Readers of Whitlock’s columns and followers of his exploits at strip club won’t be shocked by the sexism charges.

To top it all off, Sportsgrid.com’s Dan Fogarty even put together a column headlined, "Here Are Some Jokes About Jason Whitlock Having a Small Penis"

So once again Whitlock has managed to jam his way into the national limelight. However this time in a manner that may cost him.

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 22 Comments

Donnelly: A Quick Chat With Graham Zusi, Sporting KC’s Rising Star

 

Don’t know Graham Zusi yet?

Well, you will soon. 

Sporting KC’s firestarter will soon be featured on a billboard in downtown KC, flowing locks and all. So maybe you’ll recognize the growing star next time you catch him out at the Crossroads taking in a show, or hiking around a local park.

What else?

Well, after barely playing his first two seasons in the league, he was named the MLS Breakout Player of the Year in 2011, leading Sporting Kansas City to the Eastern Conference finals with his heady midfield play.

He has a lashing right foot that embarassed several opposing goalkeepers last year, none more so than former KC handyman Kevin Hartman, who saw Zusi bash a 50 yarder into the back of his net. 

I caught up with Graham in between SKC’s training sessions in Arizona to talk about this year’s squad, Snoop Dogg, and why Sporting’s going to be just fine without Davy Arnaud and Omar Bravo

How’s Arizona?

It’s going very well, training sessions have been very productive and obviously we’ve won both our games so far so that’s all you can ask. 

Are any of the rookies standing out?

The learning curve is pretty good for a lot of those young guys.  I’m not sure if I could choose one of them specifically but a lot of the new guys are doing well to keep up with the pace.

How has the club changed since you were drafted in 2009?

Besides the obvious like the rebranding and stadium, the commitment from the players to really kind of buy into a specific system has been incredible, I’d say probably in the past two years.  Peter and the coaching staff have a pretty specific outline of what they want to accomplish, and I guess the players, the coaching staff and the whole organization has really bought into that.  You can see that with the stadium that we built. They left no stone unturned when finishing that up, and it’s really an organization that is committed to excellence.  And I think that’s been very apparent in the last couple years.

Why did it take a while for guys to buy in to Peter Vermes’ system?

I’m not sure if it was —  It might not have been the same people that are here now.  My first couple years the team was changing constantly.  There were a lot of new faces and I think that our staff was kind of looking for a group that they maybe wanted to build a team around.  And I think the group now, that is what you see.  Like I said, the core group returning from last year is a very strong group and we’re continuously trying to build onto that.  It shows in the new signings we have – Bobby Convey, Nagamura, Jacob Peterson – so we’re constantly trying to get better but there’s definitely a core group of guys that has really instilled a very specific kind of game plan and a way to play.  And these new guys coming in now are just adding onto that.  In the past it was almost like they were trying to overhaul the club entirely.  You saw almost an entire new team each of the first couple years I was here.

Did you ever think it would take you over two plus seasons in the MLS to cement yourself as a starter?

Obviously you want to come in and make an impact immediately, but realistically in my head I knew it was going to take some time for me to, I guess you could say, cement a spot.  I don’t know if you’re ever cemented in a spot.  I knew that I was going to have to bide my time and I’ve had experience with that at each of the levels I’ve played at.  The first year, maybe two years you’re really learning as much as possible and I think that’s what I was doing.  Watching some of the veterans and just trying to take in as much as I could. 

With Davy Arnaud and Omar Bravo out of the picture, do you have more of an opportunity to impress your style on the club?

Yeah, I guess so.  Those players, Davy and Omar, were definitely part of this team.  And they bought into this system 100 percent.  And it’s not like we got rid of those guys because they weren’t involved in the team or that they didn’t have what it took because that’s not the case at all.  Both those players were great players and great leaders.  I don’t think we pushed them away at all; they just went on to their next chapter in their life, soccer-wise. 

But I guess since they did leave, we got a couple new guys to fill their spots.  Bobby’s probably going to be playing that outside left wing where Omar was playing, and I don’t think we’ll lose a lot of speed or attack on that side at all.  I think Bobby’s going to fill up that space very well.  And then with Paulo in the middle, he’s a very experienced player and very crafty on the ball, a very smooth player who can help us out in the middle as well. 

I think it’s not so much that we’re changing style very much.  We know what we want to accomplish and we’re just trying to fill in the little bits and pieces to accomplish that.

Has a team captain been named yet?

We haven’t named a captain yet. 

Could you see yourself in that role, wearing the armband?

I don’t know.  I’m not sure who’s in the running, but for myself at least I’ve been trying to have more of a leadership role.  This team is a fairly young team.  I’m 25 years old now, it’s time for me to show that kind of role especially since I’m in the middle of the field most of the time, and the link between defense and attack. 

You’ve recently been called up to the USMNT, and scored your first international goal.  Can you compare the coaching styles of Peter Vermes and Jurgen Klinsmann?

Klinsmann is — you don’t hear from him very much.  He stands back and observes quite a bit.  You don’t hear him stopping training and giving a commentary about what he thinks.  He lets the play go quite a bit and then at the end he’ll say what he thinks.  A lot of the times it’s just him sitting back there watching and you don’t get a ton of feedback from him.

Peter on the other hand, he’s a vocal guy.  He has no problem telling you what he thinks.  If he sees something during a training session he’ll stop and let you know what he thinks or if something good happens he’ll stop and let us know that’s how it’s done as well.

Pete is a little more vocal that Jurgen in training sessions at least.

What do you do in KC in the off season other than soccer?

I was in KC most of the offseason.  There’s a group of guys that kind of formed a little workout group together, so pretty much every day we were hitting the gym.  We were trying to get away a little bit from the game of soccer, just to kind of clear our heads a little.  So we played quite a bit of basketball, we played some racquetball, a little tennis.  So it was just a fun way to stay active but kind of get your mind off the game of soccer. 

Other than that, I’m a big outdoorsy guy.  I love taking hikes and going camping so I went out to Colorado a couple times in the offseason, got away, did the whole mountain thing, went on same hikes, did some camping.  I love that kind of thing. 

Are you into the KC music scene at all?

I go to concerts as much as possible and KC has a great concert scene, there are always some great bands coming through.  The last concert I saw was Matt & Kim, I think at the Beaumont.  I went to the concerts at LIVESTRONG Park, Farm Aid and the Buzz Beach Ball.  I actually went and saw Snoop Dogg at Crossroads, it was fun, and he played a lot of his old stuff.  I like a wide variety of music; I’m not specific to anything.  Oh, you know which one I liked a lot was the Rebelution and Ben Harper show at the Crossroads, as well.  Rebelution was awesome, really good.  I like a lot of Ben Harper’s older stuff, the newer stuff wasn’t quite growing on me.

You grew up in Florida and went to college in Maryland.  What do you miss most about the east coast or Florida?

The beach.  I spent a ton of time out on the beach growing up as a boarder.  So here I am smack dab in the middle of the country, which is a little unfortunate for me being a beach-head.  And of course I have a lot of family that I miss, so that would be the two biggest things.

There you have it KCC.  Pay attention to this kid, he’s the real deal and we’ll be lucky to keep him around for a few more years.

Posted in Sporting_Kansas_City | Tagged | 2 Comments

New Jack City: KCI Ticket Pricing Heading North?

Mark my words…

The year 2012 could spell the end for KCI to be known as one of the three low-cost ticket airports in the U.S. The other two being Orlando and Las Vegas.

What’s always given us clout – and unusually low pricing – is that we’ve had the luxury of having three discount carriers flying out of here. Those three—Southwest, AirTran and Frontier—have kept the legacy carriers in check.

Something many other markets would kill to get.

So why I am predicting future pricing doom for K.C.? Let’s look at the three discounters individually.

Southwest has cut its ‘lift’ out of KCI dramatically during the past several months. And when they unsuccessfully bid for bankrupt Frontier back in 2009, the peanut carrier bought AirTran instead. AirTran will be fully merged into Southwest sometime later this year reducing competition by one discounter altogether.

As for Frontier, they were purchased by Republic Airways in 2009. But profits haven’t been rosy in that marriage. In fact there haven’t been any – just losses. And Republic is ready to divest itself of the Denver-based airline in the near future.

What new owners would do with the airline is anyone’s guess.

In the meantime Frontier is taking drastic measures. Come mid-April they’ll be dumping at least five non-stop routes out of Kansas City— to Milwaukee, Houston, Seattle, Los Angeles and San Francisco.

The Bottom line: Fewer competing discount carriers, lift and seats out of KCI will likely make for pricing upticks by the big boys to markets previously super served by the no-frills airlines.

Progress isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be. 

Posted in Jack_Poessiger | Tagged | 3 Comments

Star Search: Kansas City Star Features Head Mary Lou Nolan to Step Down

This one’s personal…

It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m out of town and flying low, so I don’t have the time to give this one a lot of thought right now, other than to do the basic reporting.

Which is…

My old boss Mary Lou Nolan announced today that she will retire on Friday February 24th.

I’ll "revisit" this, as Mary Lou might say in the near future.

But I will say that she’ll be missed. Maybe not universally, but by and large Mary Lou did a good job during some very difficult times. She certainly was never what one would call cutting edge, but hey, she put up with me for 10 or more years.

And largely was very supportive.

I remember her voice mail the first workday of January in 2009 asking me to come in so I could work out the details of continuing my column in the FYI section. All Mary Lou could guarantee was $300 per column freelance and the number of columns per week would have to be budgeted and determined. But she wanted me back right away as I’d only been gone a little over a month. And I generally took a couple weeks off during the holidays anyway.

Unfortunately, for tax purposes, I’d opted to take my six months severance money in 2009, and parent company McClatchy stuck to its guns that no laid off employees could work for any of its subsidaries that calendar year if they’d taken the money that year.

The rest is history.

I soon faced the difficult choice of whether to cover the historic downfall of the Star and newspapers in general that year. Had I opted to be a good little boy and not write about it, chances are my column would have returned for so-many-cents-on-the-dollar in January 2010. Since I didn’t, choosing instead to report the news here as it unfolded, that ship pretty much sailed.

Stories readers would have totally missed include the time columnist Mike Hendricks got converted to parttime, took a one third pay cut and benefits loss, then lashed out against his editors and the Star on Facebook. Hendricks even petitioned Facebook friends to help him find a higher paying job.

It was classic.

And who wouldn’t have wanted to learn of editor Mike Fannin’s twin DUIs, assault conviction and slam time?

I digress.

OK, one short Mary Lou Nolan anecdote (you know I’ve got a million of ’em).

I was doing a column a handful of years back where I asked locals of note what they given or received for Christmas, and what their New Year’s Resolutions were.

In the case of fiery, local pol Carol Coe, her daughter Ailey had asked for an iPod but money being tight, Coe’d gotten her a Chia Pet instead. It was a short item and all about the brief, punchy quote Coe had given me.

However Mary Lou being dutifully anal, wanted to make certain each and every Star reader in the universe knew exactly what Coe was talking about and wanted me to break up the quote and tediously explain what a Chia Pet was.

Everyone knows what a Chia Pet is, I argued.

"I don’t," Mary Lou shot back.

Whereupon ensued a friendly debate over the subject with me prevailing when junior editor Keith Robison and others in FYI that I solicited took my side

Which speaks to Mary Lou’s fairness and willingness to keep an open mind. Something quite helpful when it came to editing my column at times.

The next Christmas I gave Mary Lou a Chia Pet.

Which if you don’t know what that is, I’d be more than happy now to explain it to you now so you can catch up to Mary Lou. Courtesy of Wikipedia, a source that Mary Lou frowned on and was skeptical of in the early going.

"Chia Pets are American styled terracotta figurines used to sprout chia, where the chia sprouts grow within a couple of weeks to resemble the animal’s fur or hair. Moistened seeds of chia (Salvia hispanica) are applied to the grooved terra cotta figurine body."

Hey, have fun Mary Lou! And enjoy that heated, tile bathroom floor you put in a few years back.

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | Leave a comment

Hearne: One & Done or Will Kanrocksas Return This Summer?

When it comes to the future of the music festival known as Kanrocksas, mum’s the word…

That’s not a good sign. Calls to pretty much all-parties involved (that could be reached) from last summer’s event at the Kansas Speedway yielded a single answer; nobody knows for sure.

Again, not a good sign.

Established festivals like Bonnaroo and Wakarusa have had their dates picked out and up for all to see for months. For good reason. Because to succeed at the level these multi-million dollar events need to, it’s vitally important to keep the faithful informed so they can make plans to attend.

Last year’s inaugural Kanrocksas stumbled out of the gate with a late April announcement.

And it paid the price for being tardy.

Pretty much everyone agrees Kanrocksas lost money, the question being, how much?

One number tossed around by insiders is Kanrocksas may have lost up to $4 million.

"You can have a $20 million event that loses $4 million and say, ‘Well, that’s startup money," says one entertainment source. "But when you have a $6 million event and lose $4 million, that’s like losing 70 to 80 percent of revenue."

One reason the fest may have lost more money was because it reportedly had to pay a premium to get acts to play a first ever event.

"When you have something like Kanrocksas that nobody’s ever heard of, the bands are really going to hold you over a barrel," says the source. "Where you normally might have to pay two or three times their normal guarantee, Kanrocksas may have had to pay as much as eight to ten times that much. They had to pay way too much money."

More generous estimates of the number of attendees at the two-day Kanrocksas say 60,000 people were there or 30,000 per day. Others say that number probably was far lower, possibly as low as 15,000 to 25,000 the first day when Eminem headlined and 12,000 to 15,000 the second, with Muse atop the bill.

"You can have 35,000 at the turnstiles, but that doesn’t mean 35,000 (paid)," says one source. "That could mean 25,000 (paid). They could have put it at Sandstone or the soccer stadium, but they put it at the racetrack thinking they would maybe have150,000 to 200,000 people. And it was the biggest failure of all time."

That said, anecdotal reports indicate attendees had a good time and the festival went off with few hitches.

And of course, Kanrocksas organizers vowed to return in 2012.

"First Kanrocksas won’t be the last, organizers say," reads a headline in the August 11, 2011 Shawnee Dispatch.

“We can’t wait ‘til next April to figure this out,” organizer/promoter Chris Fritz told the Dispatch.

"The goal, Fritz said, is to at least break even next year and then start making money by the third year. In the meantime, he said they want to build on what they started this year, bringing in more art, music and attractions and encouraging more sustainability and community involvement."

But while other major festival’s Web sites have long since announced their 2012 dates, Kanrocksas site remains silent.

"Thank You For Helping Us Make The First Kanrocksas So Memorable!" it still reads from last summer.

Hack a little further in and you may find this line buried in the "news" section: "Hope you have a great year and look forward to seeing you again next year!"

Questions about Kanrocksas 2012 plans on Facebook remain unanswered.

"Is this happening in 2012," asked a bikini clad Kristy Burrell yesterday. No response.

"Is there going to be a 2012 show , getting a lot of different answers"  William Schlicht asked Sunday.

"Nope," answered Ryan Oswald.

"You’re not going to get an answer there. They keep deleting the post about it," chimed in Randy Robbins.

"Was this a one time festival??" Johnathan David Willams asked Saturday. "It’s festival time…and it’s all crickets over here?"

Crickets, indeed.

Calls to the Kansas Speedway yielded little more.

Haven’t heard anything about it, say Speedway ticket sellers. "It hasn’t been determined yet," added a woman in the security office.

There’s also talk the millionaire dude who bankrolled last year’s Kanrocksas is o-u-t, which could mean a new checkbook is needed.

Or the possibility of dialing Kanrocksas back to a two or three day mini fest at Sandstone and picking up bands on their way to or from Lollapalooza like last year.

(Incidentally, Lollapalooza will go down in Chicago’s Grant Park August 2-5 this summer.)

Or Kanrocksas could skip a year, some have suggested.

The official word?

"At the moment we can’t comment," says Kanrocksas rep Matt Camden. "We’re looking at a lot of options for when to do it and how to do it, but at the moment we’re not saying anything definitive."

Stay tuned…

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 5 Comments

Hearne: Enquirer Dings Romney With Valentine’s Day ‘Love Triangle Shocker’

There’s little doubt Republican frontrunner Mitt Romney‘s campaign could use a little oomph…

But is it possible that one of the most boring presidential candidates ever was caught up in a "love triangle"? Hey, maybe. At this stage of the game, the idea of Romney getting strafed by The National Enquirer in a sex scandal story on Valentine’s Day might be considered by some as positive. Anything to knock Romney out of that boring and flavorless flip-flop box he’s been trapped in the past four years or so.

And it’s Valentine’s Day at the Enquirer, so pretty much anything goes. Including headlines like, "Exclusive Interview: Mitt Romney Love Triangle Shocker!"

Check it out.

"Presidential candi­date MITT ROMNEY has been rocked by a shock­ing ‘cheating’ scandal involving his beloved wife ANN," the story begins. "In an election year marked by horrendous mud-slinging, a just-published book dropped a bombshell directly on the Repub­lican front-runner and his wife of 42 years."

Sounds pretty tawdry, right? But are they really talking about Mitt?

Turns out a newly released book, "The Real Romney" tells the story of how Romney’s wife Ann – after agreeing in college to marry him – had a fling with some dude on the Brigham Young basketball team.

That after the Mittster took off for France to fulfill part of his missionary obligations to the Mormon church.

"Ann plunged into a new romance with (Kim) Cam­eron," the Enquirer continues. "When Mitt got the news, he was devastated, according to the book’s au­thors Michael Kranish and Scott Helman, both Boston Globe report­ers."

That book’s been out nearly a month and the Globe reporters have pretty much made the rounds of most major political talk shows. But leave it to the Enquirer to ferret out the single sexy morsal and serve it up sensationally on America’s Day of Love.

Check out the spin on this baby.

"In a sensational new development, The ENQUIRER tracked down Cameron, and he revealed that Ann – the girl he hoped to marry – never told him she had previously promised to spend her life with Mitt," the Enquirer says.

There’s more.

"Ann’s two-timing puts her ‘in the middle of a ‘cheating’ scandal,’ a top political source told The ENQUIRER," it writes. “While this happened long ago, it still be­comes an issue for a candidate running for the White House.  Because Mitt has made an issue of the solidness of his marriage, any informa­tion that shows Ann ‘cheated’ could be used by his political enemies.”

I don’t know about you guys, but while I respect the Enquirer for breaking some pretty huge stories – does the name John Edwards ring a bell? – this one seems like a pretty tall reach. Complete with over-written passages like, "The political source added that Mitt ‘was destroyed emotionally when Ann fell in love with another man." "

Remember, this was 44 years ago. And they’re calling that a Love Triangle Shocker?

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 5 Comments

Glazer: Time Warner Boots KU – K-State Basketball Broadcast

If you’re anything like me, you wondered, "Did my cat chew the damn cable again?"

Last night we got to watch the exciting first half of the KU / K-State basketball game get dumped. No picture. No sound, nothing. What!

Yeah, it was crappy out – we our first real snow – a slushy mess with clouds and yuk. Not to worry, we had time to race home to watch a somewhat big basketball game at 8 PM. Make a small wager on the home school. Me, I love KU basketball and MU football. So I was on Kansas -4 and under 135 1/2 –  got it?

So I sit back, get a nice cold drink, turn on the set and…sorry, NOTHING!

I checked my cable box and cords, called a pal – Hey, is Channel 33 down on your set? It is? Great. Now we’re all screwed. Surely it will come on in a few minutes, right? Thirty minutes in I’m watching the scores change on my computer – oh by the way on ESPN.com – figures.

Well, by half time or so it was back on. I never called Time Warner, but thousands of other fans sure did. Of course no help.

By the way Kansas won a close one, 59-53. The Jayhawks continue to prove they are a national power.

However, they seem to be one man short of being the best team in the nation.

How cool would it be to have both Kansas and Missouri number one seeds?

Better yet, both in Final Four. It could happen. Nah.

Well, we all found out that we’d paid our cable bills. Hey, we get late fees and mean notices if we’re late. But what do you think the odds are Time Warner will do anything for screwing up?

No way. Figures.

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 5 Comments

Jolly: Hooters To Go, It’s Where Not to Eat!

God I love Hooters….

You know, the restaurant. And not just because of the T and A or the table service which is sometimes sub-par owing to the revolving door of semi-hot waitresses the chain is infamous for.

On a side note, I firmly believe that this restaurant chain is where many ex-strippers go after they stop being HOT, but retain some minimal customer service skills. I wouldn’t bring this up but, if you consider getting take out food there, you’ll see what I mean.

The ridiculous shorts, the scent of patchouli, the lack of actual hooters.

Apparently the economy has made it difficult for women who want to serve wings for a living to get breast implants.

But enough about why not to eat there, let’s talk about what Hooters does that’s great.

This place does take out food like a really good NASCAR pit crew. They’re fast, friendly, and you don’t have to watch 500 left turns. I walked in to order instead of calling in. The bartender was very friendly and hotter than any waitress I’ve ever had there. She offered me a cocktail while I waited, but thanks to previous poor decision-making and the wonderful city of Overland Park I opted for Diet Coke.

Some people tell me that I’m nuttier than a squirrel, but I think Hooter’s has the best wings in town.

And if you get them to-go, it totally makes up for all of Hooters other gimmicks and shortcomings. I ordered a dozen wings in hot sauce and 1 lb. of steamed shrimp. The wings here are very meaty and the sauce is great without being greasy or dripping all over your sofa. The shrimp always taste fresh and they are big and plump like the first boobs I ever saw in 7th grade.

Over all the food was great and traveled very well.

But here’s the catch when getting take out from Hooters; the condiments. They’ll ask you if you would like ranch or blue cheese. I said blue cheese, but you will only get ONE. Now I usually need more dressing than that to take some of the hot bite out of the sauce and complement the chicken.

The wings are great just the way they are at Hooters, but I still love to dip and ONE pre-packaged blue cheese isn’t going to get it. That’s like getting up in the middle of the afternoon and trying to get the last little bit of hair goop out of the jar but not quite having enough. So you just say, fuck it, and put on a hat.

If I can’t do it right, I don’t want to do it at all.

So always ask for more dressing at Hooters, but know that it will cost you another 50 cents per pack. I love celery with my wings, too, and that was also another 50 cents. The shrimp was amazing but you only get one cocktail sauce with it and the second is another 50 cents.

Eating shrimp without cocktail sauce is like having sex with your hand – good but it could have been better.

So I always get extra condiments, but I’m waiting for the day when they tell me it will cost $1.00 extra for the to-go bag. Or I can just carry the boxes to my car and bungee cord them to the passenger seat. I mean, I’ll probably pay the extra buck because hot sauce conflicts with my used car smell, but geez…

Another thing Hooters does great is when they present your order to you.

They take everything out of the soon-to-be-a buck bag and open every box for you to check that your order is correct and as advertised.

Great idea!!

More restaurants should take the time to do this. Take-out diners are a growing market and directly affect the revenue of a bar/restaurant. If an establishment screwed up a to-go order 10 years ago, they’d probably just have said, "Oops, sorry.”.

These days they can’t afford to take an order over the phone and screw things up It’s a great way to make your customers NOT want to return.

Plus when Hooters does show your order, it’s your opportunity to gauge whether you may want to UP the condiment count a little. Good Job Hooters!

My order was about $22.00 all in with all the extra dressings. I tipped her $4.00 for the great to-go service and I enjoyed every bite. Remember, restaurants in Kansas City – I’m watching you.

Hooter’s in Overland Park, KS. 4.0 out of 5.

Posted in Food_and_Fashion | Tagged | 15 Comments

New Jack City: Clint Eastwood–Hollywood’s Real Mensch

Clint Eastwood‘s Super Bowl commercial for Chrysler has garnered him renwed attention and respect…

The kind I bet he wishes might have been timed closer to the release of his latest (directed) picture J. EDGAR starring Leonardo DiCaprio. Even Saturday Night Live tipped its hat to the venerable Hollywood legend this past Saturday.

So what is Eastwood like in real life?

I’m here to tell you that with Clint, what you see is what you get. And I know that for a fact!

I had four personal encounters with Eastwood during my term as president and chairman of the United Motion Picture Association which sponsored and produced the annual SHOW-A-RAMA movie convention in Kansas City. The other was during my days as Director of Marketing for Commonwealth Theatres.

Here’s how it went down.

Clint always took real interest in all of the facets of the motion picture industry, including the latest theatrical innovations. And so as not to interrupt the goings on at the convention’s trade show floor he asked me to give him a personal after hours walk-through. He was interested in everything. From the latest in sound reproduction devices to popcorn poppers. It made for a pleasureable evening.

The next time Clint was in town for SHOW-A-RAMA his hotel suite at the Westin Crown Center was directly next door to a friend of mine’s, John Shipp‘s. At the time, Shipp owned and operated a large independent film distributorship called Thomas & Shipp Films.

And late one evening Clint must’ve gotten bored sitting alone in his suite and all the partying noise coming out of Shipp’s suite must’ve piqued his curiosity.

You guessed it. Before long Clint was partying with us into the wee hours in Shipp’s suite.

Fast forward a couple more years and Clint was back at the convention again. But this time he wanted to get away from the hotel for a while, so we took one of our limos and headed for THE END ZONE, a happening nightclub near the Country Club Plaza.

Once inside, it didn’t take long for the ladies to start hitting on Eastwood.

Matter of fact, the evening eventually turned into a catfight over Clint between two hotties.

Clint watched, then asked the loser to dance. Then he disappeared for the remainder of the evening and I took the limo back to the hotel—alone.

Finally jumping ahead to 1980, just prior to the release of BRONCO BILLY which co-starred Eastwood with his then new squeeze Sondra Locke. Not only had Clint directed the picture but his company, Malpaso Productions, had produced it in conjunction with Warner Brothers.

The film was being test screened one weekend at our then flagship Ranch Mart Theater with several Warner Brothers bigwigs in attendance. But Clint couldn’t make it for the test screening.

But come Monday morning my secretary paged me in the Commonwealth home office building.
"Jack you’ve got to get out of your meeting. I’ve got Clint Eastwood on hold for you," she said excitely.

What did Clint want?

Well he apparently had already gotten an earful of reactions from the Warner Brothers suits who had attended the Ranch Mart screening. But Clint wanted my review. And not only of the film but of the crowd’s reaction as well.

I didn’t sugarcoat it either. I told him that the audience reaction was not exactly overwhelming.

The bottom line; I was flattered.

So now you know why Clint Eastwood always has been and continues to be a very special bookmark in my movie career.

Posted in Jack_Poessiger | Tagged | 1 Comment

Star Search: Shock & Awe Hits 18th & Grand, New Publisher Announces Layoffs, Furloughs

 

I have to admit, this one caught even me by surprise…

New Kansas City Star publisher Mi-Al Parrish stunned the newsroom today when she unleashed her first ever round of layoffs at the newspaper.

"It was a shock, because people weren’t expecting it," says one source.

In addition to eliminating "seven staff positions," Parrish’s memo outlined that a one week unpaid furlough would be implemented for "most employees" to be taken in the first half of the year. That on the heels of a week’s furlough late last year.

"That’s two weeks with no salary," says another surprised Star staffer.

As is the custom, Parrish did not identify which staffers would take a bullet. But according to one source, only a single newsroom employee – tthe prolific Joe Lambe, a courts and 913 reporter in Johnson County – was thought to be on the kill list.

"That’s because we still have seven or eight positions that remain unfilled," says the source. "For example, J. Brady McCollough in sports left at the end of last year."

The floral-tongued McCollough hosed down the sports beat at KU and is now carrying on about hockey and Penn State for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

Here’s what was weird and unexpected about the Parrish layoffs and furloughs today…

With signs that the newspaper had a kickass fourth quarter and economic indicators like car sales pointing upward, many staffers – plus me – figured the layoffs influenza might have passed after four years. At least for the immediate future.

Remember, the Star has gone from more than 2,000 prior to the downturn of 2003 / 2004  employees to barely 700.

Oh, well…

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 14 Comments

Hearne: Westport Lobbies KC for Festival License to Compete w/ P&L District

It’s time to level the party playing field…

For four long years the Power & Light District downtown has held a huge advantage in festival licensing over other Westport and other Kansas City entertainment districts. All while costing Kansas City taxpayers millions of dollars in subsidies with deficets projected as high as $15 million a year.

Unfamiliar with festival licensing?

It’s the practice of allowing patrons to carry drinks outside of bars and restaurants onto streets and sidewalks. Kinda like Bourbon Street in New Orleans.

It’s a competitive advantage the Power & Light District has had for far too long, says Westporter Bill Nigro.

"Just in sales tax alone this past year, Westport has given the city over $3 million," Nigro says. "And by the way, the sales tax for the Power & Light District goes to pay off the loans that were used to build the whole thing. So the city doesn’t get to keep that money."

To that end, Westport is asking for the city to allow it to have festival licensing to compete with the P&L.

"Creating that kind of district for Westport, I think, would increase the sales tax money we pay the city by at least 15 percent," Nigro says. "It would be smart business for our city and it would allow Westport to compete against the city-owned Power & Light District."

To date, it’s been a long, uphill slog.

"We’ve been trying to get this to happen since the day the Power & Light District opened,"Nigro says. "And here’s what the city and state gave us instead. We get to compete with them 12 days a year – not 365 days. And listen to the hoops we have to jump through. We have to measure the center of Westport right in front of Kelly’s – we have to draw a circle and measure 350 feet in all directions. But first we have to get the X / Y coordinates from outer space, then measure 350 feet out and determine who all the property owners are.

"Then we have to get signed consents from half of the property owners and we have to do that for each of the 12 events. And until this year, we had to take a notary with us to get everyone’s signatures notarized. But this year we don’t have to take a notary with us – what a deal!"

Westport’s bottom line:

"It’s un-American that the city won’t let us compete on the same playing field," Nigro says. "It’s un-American. Why can’t Westport just get a festival license too? Because in the past, the city’s never tried to help us, and when we ask them about the festival license, they point the finger and say it’s the state’s fault."

Westport isn’t buying that excuse, Nigro says. After all, the city got it done for the P&L.

There’s another reason Westport’s been trapped on the 12 Days of Hell a Year Plan, Nigro says.

"Power & Light developer Cordish spent a lot of money on lobbyists to keep Westport from getting that same privilege," he says.

To that end, Nigro’s enlisted City Councilman Jim Glover – author of the Glove Plan – to help rescue Westport and generate more income for Kansas City.

"I just went to councilman Glover last week and told him we really want to get something done this year before the weather turns warm," Nigro says. "And if we’re not going to get it, I want to know why. And he said, he’d look into it and hopefully he’ll help us out. It just takes a couple people to introduce the ordinance to make it happen. And then they all vote on it. It’s the city that’s instrumental in making this happen.

"What the city needs to understand is, the sooner they get this done, the more tax money we’re going to hand them. I’m not mad at the Power & Light District, it was the right thing to do. But the city has to be fair and we were here first and were cordonning off our streets long before the P&L was.

"And we’re the local guys. The city is letting the out-of-towners do it and telling the local guys, sorry. And we’re the ones handing them money. I just want to hand them more money."

Stay tuned…

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 14 Comments

Glazer: Scribe Comes Clean, Confesses to Being a Phony

Man, it’s finally gotten to me, all the thoughtful comments some of you have been leaving…

They’ve made me see the error of my ways. After all, you’re the people who care, want to help me and make the world a better place. You’ve pointed out my lies, shortcomings and such. And now I can’t hide from the truth any longer, so I CONFESS!

WHERE TO BEGIN?

Okay,. First off, I really didn’t go to Arizona State, I went to a city college in Mesa, Arizona.

Stings? Now come on, who could do that while in college? I did pose as an Eagle Scout though and stole tons of light bulbs off Cub Scouts. They were selling them door to door. Later I graduated to stealing sub sandwiches from kids with my partner in crime Don Woodbeck. His real name was Donnie Woodstein, but Woodbeck sounded better. And he wasn’t a war hero, he was in R.O.T.C. in college.

We robbed about 30 sub shops before we finally got caught. Donnie got 30 days and I got off with probation.

After dropping out of Community College, I was hired by local cops to keep an eye on sandwich shops, so you guys are right, I was never a real undercover agent.

Oh yeah, I’m not even in good shape. They used me as a tackle dummy in high school because I weighed like 295 and was only five feet, five. Today I’m down to 265.

What else?

Oh yeah, I did do some time – like 60 days in county jail back in LA. I was there trying to get into the film biz and ended up being a runner for a small time production company. For free. But I got caught stealing some lights and old VHS tapes. The slammer in LA county was tough though, bad food, smelly cells. Yikes.

My Dad, Stan did own Stanford and Sons though. Gave me a job cooking when I moved back home in the 80’s. Later Grandpa Bennie and Jeff, my brother, stole the comedy club from Stan. Bastards. They let me seat the rooms. And hey, I got a new car – a Chevy Nova – still have it today. And some of you guys thought I really had a Lotus. Yeah, right. I did try and lease one, but my credit sucked too bad.

And I don’t live in a fancy half million dollar condo in Johnson County.

I live in my brother Jeff’s basement. He got that after Grandpa passed away. It’s not bad, it has lots of Jimi Hendrix posters on the walls.

In Hollywood, I met several stars and got their autographs. Actress Sandahl Bergman really did go to my high school. I got to say hi to her once in the hall at East. And I really did see her films in LA, but I never met her or dated her or anything. Are you serious?

In fact I’ve only had like 16 girlfriends in my life.

And the Champions Forever films, yeah someone went on IMBD and busted me. I was just an associate goffer. I worked for free because I wanted to meet Ali. He was nice. Even though all five of the movies say I’m the producer on the cover and on Amazon, they’re all lies. See, I went to CVS and had those printed up – I only made seven copies – but Amazon fell for it. Dumbasses.

What else? Oh yeah, all those articles about me….

First off there are only about 29 and Hearne did 25 of them because he felt bad for me.

The others? Well, I just paid off some printer to have them made. Fifty bucks, money well spent. Got me laid by a hot 66 year old fat chick named Margie. All those photos of me with girls on here – they’re fake too – I don’t know any of them.

This is tough, because I’ve sure told a ton of whoppers.

I’m not even sure my name is really Craig Glazer anymore. Oh yeah, the guy on Johnny Dare and all the other radio shows, that’s not me. His real name is Melvin Glazer. He just goes by Craig because he hates his name.

Man, if I did all those stings, worked for the attorney general as a special agent, made all those movies,  wrote a book on my life, had all those women, Porsches, Ferraris, Hollywood stars as pals, did radio on five stations, oh and sold my life as a film…then I’d be interesting.

Maybe the most interesting guy in town – or just about anywhere today. Who could do all that stuff? Not ME. And owning one of the top comedy clubs in America, come on now.

P.S. the book is about that Melvin guy and it only sold like 300 copies. It’s number 99 million on Amazon.

Hey, sorry I lied to you guys all this time.

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 20 Comments

Jolly: On the To-Go Plan at Red Lobster in Overland Park at 95th and Metcalf

I’ve always considered Red Lobster as the Aldi or Walmart of seafood restaurants…

Poor man’s sea food. They don’t serve the expensive, palate-pleasing fish such as monk, shark, or Chilian Sea Bass like the Bristol or Capital Grille. Instead they give you standard options like salmon, tilapia, and grouper. However they do come through bigtime in quality, portion size and value. And they care, which is hard to find these days for the hard-earned dollar.

I never call in a to-go order at Red Lobster because…

1. I like to decide when I get there because the menu is so vast.

2. And I like to see the bartenders make a thousand frozen drinks while waiting on people who don’t tip and have their tabs transfered to a table. Then I thank GOD I bartend where I do.

By the way, the bartenders at Red Lobster are the hardest working and most under appreciated MFer’s in the biz. I came in on a Sunday and it was busier than the free clinic after a NASCAR event. It draws a very diverse crowd too. I had to wait 20 min. just to find a seat at the bar to order take-out.

I didn’t really want to squeeze in between two people with marinara covered fingers and HUGE glasses full of strawberry something to say, ”May I place a to-go order?”.  So I just waited it out. Trying to get a seat at this bar on a Sunday is tough – I felt like a midget waiting for a urinal. I had to be on my toes and ready.
 

Finally I got a seat and placed my order.

I ordered the New England Sampler, which is my favorite appetizer on the menu. It’s four bacon-wrapped scallops, fried clams, and four lobster-stuffed mushrooms. Mind-blowing. It tasted so good I wanted to put my dick in it.

I also got the wood grilled lobster, shrimp, and scallops that comes with two sides and a salad. I asked for broccoli, a baked potato, and a salad with blue cheese. Once again, it was very good.

For new readers, if I’m dining out at a restaurant I would probably order a bottle of something that ends in Rothschild and eat on a white tablecloth. Certainly not at Red Lobster. But for take-out, they do it right.

The lobster tail was cooked perfectly and came with plenty of melted butter. The scallops were well seasoned and melted in my mouth, much like my skewered shrimp. And do we even need to go over the cheddar biscuits? Don’t they go without saying? NO! They are always great. Eating one of those, the feeling is euphoric, like free basing bacon.

There are only three things that are so good that no one else can ever truly recreate them:

1. The Coke at any McDonald’s. It tastes better than Coke you get anywhere else.

2. The BJ’s from the last girl who dumped me.

3. And the cheddar biscuits from Red Lobster. 

Three years ago my mom told me she’d gotten the recipe for these little nuggets of joy and would be recreating them on Thanksgiving. It was the worst family holiday dinner ever.

Don’t get me wrong, they were decent, but not the same as at Red Lobster. I wanted to kick my mom in the uterine area I was so disappointed. Needless to say, she never tried that recipe again.

Even the Bristol has tried in vain to make them…

Back to Red Lobster, my salad was good too, however it could have been put in a bigger box. It’s really hard to dress your salad when it’s in a box the size of your wallet.

Lke Hooters, the bartenders here will go through your order with you when it arrives and have you sign off on it. Then they’ll hand you your check to sign verifying your order is correct. This is actually genius because it’s a preemptive strike to keep people from going home and making up a story that they’re missing an item or two.

Red Lobster puts the accountability on the consumer, and I respect that – seafood ain’t cheap.

In short, Red Lobster is actually a great value for seafood to-go. Pretty much whatever you order is a winner. And not just because of the cheddar biscuits. My order was around $30.00 and I tipped 20% for the outstanding service.

Red Lobster in Overland Park, KS. 4.5 out of 5.

Posted in Food_and_Fashion | Tagged | 14 Comments

Leftridge: TV Time; Much Like the Mighty Missouri, ABC’s “The River” is Full of Waste

Rivers are inherently frightening things. If you’re not being Jeff Buckley’d or Ned Beatty’d (drowned and raped, respectively), you’re encountering catfish-punching rednecks, Mexican picnics and hill-people on homemade watercraft. Rivers—especially around these parts—are muddy, murky affairs, perfect for getting attacked by unseen, underwater beasts like the alligator gar, or inadvertently inner-tubing with the dismembered corpse of Prospect Corridor hookers.

Gone are the days of pursuing a Twain-ian river adventure, where one listlessly rafts down a scenic bloom of natural beauty. No longer is one liable to stumble through the thicket to find a kick-ass Alan Jackson river party, replete with plastic cups of Budweiser and bikini clad temptresses grilling Oscar Mayer hot-dogs. Today’s local streams have much more in common with their seedy South American counterparts.

The Amazon is the world’s longest river, running 4,000 miles from Peru to Brazil—coast to coast, in other words—and, during the wet season, can stretch to 30 miles wide.

That’s fucking huge.

Couple this with flesh-eating piranhas, bull sharks, and the arapaima (at 15 ft, 440lbs, the world’s largest freshwater fish), and you’ve got yourself one terrifying, gigantic crick. And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the head-shrinking, spear-throwing locals with the Dorothy Hamill haircuts and the hand-me-down Beavis and Butthead tee’s who are puzzled by your existence, and therefore, must kill you (I’ve seen enough Bugs Bunny to know that at some point, you’re liable to end up in a giant pot that natives coolly fill with carrots while you stress the fuck out).  

Therefore, the Amazon River, with all of its quirky goodness, should make a fantastic setting for a new one-hour horror-drama on ABC, right? Eh, not so much.

The River—whose two-hour premier aired Tuesday (and was actually two regular episodes, played back-to-back in an effort to make you think you were watching something epic)—is about a group of mostly unlikable characters desperately driven to one of the scariest places on earth with one common goal—find Dr. Emmet Cole (Bruce Greenwood, Truman Capote’s main hump in the 2005 film).

Through a show-opening flashback, we learn that Cole was the popular host of “Undiscovered Country,” a travel program that found the doc and his family traversing the globe in his boat, Magus, forever searching for adventure and imploring viewers to remember that “there’s magic out there!

Think Steve Irwin with less camp, or Jeff Corwin with less blatant homosexuality.

After he disappears, and all communication is lost, his wife, his son, a few camera guys, Dr. Cole’s old frienemy producer, a weird, totally under-developed commando character, the ship’s mechanic and mechanic’s daughter all set out to find the lost hero. It’s all being filmed, of course (or we wouldn’t have a show).

Everything that we see—aside from the previously mentioned flashback—is “found-footage”—a technique that, when done well can be effective (the pioneering Blair Witch)—but is all-too often used by lazy filmmakers and producers as a crutch to cover lackluster storytelling (side note: it’s also worth noting that there’s more than one scene in the “epic” two hour premier where the director apparently forgets that this is all supposed to be footage from cameramen or planted cameras– we see things that shouldn’t be seen without one of the characters filming it. Oops!).

Less-than ambitious writing and curious plot-development can be overlooked, however, with competent acting. This is a horror-show, after all, not a Dickensian offering meant to enrich our palates with slick prose. Unfortunately, The River fails in this regard as well, and miserably so.

There may be no greater offender than the explorer’s son, Lincoln, embarrassingly portrayed by Joe Anderson (sounds made up—I’d assume an alias, too). Watching Anderson—a British chap who was in Twilight: Part 2- A Wolf For Every Cupboard—is worse than getting your balls caught in a mall-escalator. There’s an uncomfortable weirdness watching a British actor play an American when the Brit can’t quite lose the accent—at times, the actor will sound slightly Australian, partially Kentuckian and a little like Jodi Foster with her patented clenched-jaw affectations. Anderson does all of this. It’s a distraction that’s hard to overlook.

Coupled with the character’s high-level of odiousness, you find yourself rooting for him to be attacked by one of the strange, blue horsefly-fairy-bugs that mouth-raped the ship mechanic’s daughter (and gave her the voice of the missing? deceased? explorer… yeah, you can go back and re-read that last part. I probably wouldn’t believe it either, unless I watched it).

Nobody else on the cast fares much better. Though some of the players are respectable enough (television vet Paul Blackthorne [24, Lipstick Jungle] as the producer is… adequate), creator Oren Peli (writer/director of Paranormal Activity—go figure) mostly has a shitpile on his hands.

For everything that The River does right—the cinematography is cool?—there are a million things that it does wrong. For Exhibit A, please see the graveyard tree filled with soiled, animated baby-dolls.

I’d love nothing more than to see a show like this flourish on primetime television. The horror genre is a personal favorite of mine, but unless the terror comes primarily from deep, psychological mind-fuckery (FX’s American Horror Story), it doesn’t often translate well to the small screen. With my impacted assfull of negativity aside, I’m going to give the River one more shot to impress me. Perhaps this stems from my inability to climax unless I’m being repeatedly stabbed in the chest with a crocheting needle; perhaps, however, it’s just because I believe in giving new things a fair shake.

If they don’t have it after episode three, though, I’m making like an Italian cruise ship captain and rushing for the lifeboat, cripples and children be damned.

The River airs Tuesday, 8pm CT on ABC. The first two episodes can be viewed for free at ABC.com.

Posted in Entertainment | Tagged | 5 Comments

Jolly: The Eternal Quesion; Tip on To-Go Food?

People have been getting take out food for hundreds of years, or something like that…

Whether they stabbed it, shot it, found it or called in to their favorite restaurant. Today we pick it up and drive it home, instead of hauling it home on our shoulders to the cave that we used to dine in. Thank you evolution.

Unfortunately evolution hasn’t helped with the gratuity issue.

The absolute rule is, don’t mess with anybody that handles your food or drinks

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve NEVER messed with anybody’s food because of a tip or their crappy  personality that made me cringe to even look at them. Except maybe one rude dude who called in a pizza at 10:58 pm. and we closed at 11:00pm. I was 16 then, tired and impressionable – sorry, douche.

Now here’s what I do when it comes to tipping on to-go food.

If I call an establishment and just pick it up, I leave a 10% tip at the very least.

Because really, what did that person do for me besides hand me a bag and take my money? Maybe they did take time out of their busy day to answer the phone before my Droid died from Angry Birds, so 10 percent’s good.

Even when I go to Sonic to troll for high school girls, I tip the hotties at least 10 percent. You know, because they brought it to my car on roller skates and didn’t fall and bite the curb like in American History X. Job skills!

Now, if I come come in, sit at your bar, take up space and bend your ear to order, I’ll tip 15-25 percent.

Maybe more if you offer me a soda while I wait. But don’t ask me if I’d like a soda, then charge me $2.69 for a Diet Coke. When the heck did the price of soda mirror the rise of gold and silver? Does that Diet Coke have panda semen in it?

Maybe I’m getting old, but I remember a time not too long ago when a soda costing NOTHING.

Because it was a great distraction to a guest while they waited for their take out food. So if you get charged for the soda,, I say leave a 10% tip. Unless of course you can talk the bartender into putting Franklin and Bash on one of the TVs near you.

Your tip should not just reflect the service but how they leave you equipped.

For example, how many times have you gone through a drive-through for fast food (no names) and got home feeling like you just got fucked by Joe Pesci? Always check your bag for the correct utensils and condiments. There’s no shame in saying, “Can I get a extra side of Ranch?” That shit is like crack or gold at some places.

Some people mainline the blue cheese from Coach’s straight into their veins.

Seriously, I get take out enough to know; if you don’t tip the person handling your food, you might not want to go back. Let me rephrase that, you shouldn’t go back.

Every review I have done to date on to go food has a lot to do with the service. Sometimes getting great service is KEY. And sometimes it’s like I just asked Jessica Simpson to spell something like “THE”  and I get a blank look from the staff. I’m used to that too.

I’ve had great service before and tipped over 20 percent. Then when I got home the food was so bad that my ass jumped the gun and pooped as a preemptive strike. I’ve also been three sheets to the wind, drunk out of my mind, got to go food, and tipped 40 percent on my whole tab.

You know,  $75.00 for booze and $14.00 for to go food. And I can still remember every delicious, palate-pleasing, made me want to be a better person bite. One great example is the scallops appetizer from Carmen’s Cafe. That appetizer made me want to add Casey Anthony as a Facebook friend.

In other words, just be sure to tip.

Posted in Food_and_Fashion | Tagged | 27 Comments

Star Search: Star Readers Rep Derek Donovan the Gatekeeper for Fewer Errors?

Another day, another handful of watered down news items….

Make no mistake, the Star dishes out more than its fair share of quality local news. When it wants to. Too often though it’s easier for all concerned – editors and reporters – to kinda let stuff slide and stay on the sunny-side-up plan.

Too often there’s little incentive to probe deeper – in part because of limited competition – and partly because keeping sources happy means you’ll likely be first in line when the next "scoop" surfaces.

I can think of dozens of examples, but let’s take a look at just one before moving on to today’s.

Remember when Joyce Smith in business gave a front page blowjob to former donut king Ray LaMar?

Smith reported LaMar was hanging up his donut holes owing to old age. However, a brief check with the health department revealed LaMar’s had been shut down by the health department after years of some of the nastiest violations imaginable. Reports littered with examples so grotesque my editor in FYI would not allow them into the column lest they cause discomfort at some imaginary "breakfast table."

Yes, ladies and gentlemen the Breakfast Club myth is still alive and well at 18th and Grand.

Now on to today.

Remember last November when the Star‘s Tony Rizzo "reported" the following about the death of disgraced civic leader Karen Pletz?

"There were no signs of foul play, said Fort Lauderdale Police Detective Travis Mandell," Rizzo wrote. "Detectives are waiting for the Broward County medical examiner to determine the cause of death and do not expect a ruling until next week."

Hold it right there.

Had Rizzo bothered to check – as I did – he would have learned from Broward County chief medical examiner Darin Trelka that the results for Pletz’s autopsy would not be available for two to three months, not the following week.

Now let’s see how the Star reported the three month old front page story today. Surprise! In a tiny, single column headlined, "Coroner rules Pletz death to be suicide."

"The death of former medical school president and civic leader Karen Pletz has been ruled a suicide, a Florida county medical examiner said Friday," the Star writes, crediting Trelka.

Two and one half months later, just like Trelka told me the day Rizzo reported incorrectly the results would be out in a week.

As for what happened to Pletz, KC Confidential readers learned on December 16th last year that Florida police had told Kansas City police it was a suicide.

That’s one reason there was no rush to get the medical results back, which KC police say generally takes about 30 days, I wrote at the time.

Oh and one more thing, "Mandell doesn’t know where the Star got the idea that the medical examiner’s results would be in so quickly because it usually takes from several weeks "up to six months," I reported.

Still no correction or admission of an error by the Star.

Just as there was no correction on a recent, major news story about a huge redevelopment project by the Woodside Health & Tennis Club. A story in which the club was incorrectly called the Woodside Racquet Club in the Star‘s business section.

That error was pointed out to me by a club marketing official.

In fact, a number of people have noticed that, despite its dramatically paired down ranks, far fewer corrections seem to be making their way into the Star via part time readers rep / gatekeeper Derek Donovan.

A total of only 235 last year at the Star compared to the dead serious New York Times which former Star publisher Art Brisbane reported had 3,500 corrections last year. What are the odds of that being an honest number?

"Oh, Derek is not a readers rep at all," quips one senior Star staffer. "He doesn’t represent the readers at all. If you’re an average reader and you didn’t agree with the article – say it’s a biased article even though it’s a news story that’s not supposed to be biased – Derek wouldn’t give the caller the time of day. That’s just the way (he) is. And he has caused more cancelled subscriptions because he hangs up on people – he has no patience."

Let’s see if D Dog corrects either of the above or merely hangs up on KC Confdential like he effectively did to retired Star reporter Jim Fitzpatrick a couple years back.

Read more here: http://nl.newsbank.com/nl-search/we/Archives?p_action=doc&p_docid=13B2F54D00142440&p_docnum=1&s_dlid=DL0112021121561304367&s_ecproduct=SUB-FREE&s_ecprodtype=INSTANT&s_trackval=&s_siteloc=&s_referrer=1000029836&s_subterm=Subscription%20until%3A%2012%2F31%2F2015%2011%3A59%20PM&s_docsbal=%20&s_subexpires=12%2F31%2F2015%2011%3A59%20PM&s_docstart=&s_docsleft=&s_docsread=&s_username=kcstarsub&s_accountid=AC0109072214141209745&s_upgradeable=no#storylink=cp
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Whinery: OBAMA COUTURE ROCKS GOP FASHIONISTAS’ WORLDS

Fashion forward Obama supporters can now flaunt their fervor by sporting high-end gear such as T-shirts, tote bags, scarves – even nail polish!

The mastermind behind the “Runway to Win” project: Vogue editor Anna Wintour, who solicited top designers like Mark Jacobs, Vera Wang and others to donate their time and talent to raise money for Obama’s 2012 re-election effort.          

Not surprisingly, Republicans are crying foul, saying the effort violates campaign finance laws.

I think they’re just jealous. Especially when you consider the fashion sense – or lack thereof – amongst the four candidates still competing to faceoff against Obama in November.

Take Congressman Ron Paul: Everyone’s favorite conspiracy theorist looks like he’s using David Byrne’s tailor from the Talking Heads “Stop Making Sense” era to design his suits.  Come on Ron, you’re running for President, can’t you find anything that fits?

Speaker Newton Leroy Gingrich:  I’ve seen better fashion sense in University English Professors. How many frumpy grey suits and food stained red ties can one man own?

Senator Rick Santorum: The 2012 winner of the Missouri Primary. Really, Missouri? An arch opponent of birth control, who wears sweater vests on the campaign trail. That’s the fashion equivalent of birth control! A question for you ladies; have you ever been irresistibly drawn to a man in such frumpy attire?

 

Governor Mitt Romney: Brooks Brothers and holy Mormon underwear is about all he’s got going.

Look, President Obama may be running the economy into the ground and breaking his 2008 campaign promises, but he does pour into a designer suit rather smartly. And superficial as the American electorate has become, he’s probably a fashioon lock for re-election.

Political Correspondent extraordinaire- David Scott Whinery, Esquire – will submit columns on Tuesdays and Fridays – in an attempt to try make politics palatable.

Posted in News_and_Views | Tagged | 3 Comments

Glazer: Scribe Challenges Readers to Name KC’s Most Hated, Win Dinner & Comedy

Some of the top "MOST HATED ATHLETES" are also the best known in the world…

Most of the Top 10 are huge stars in the game they play or played in, and sometimes being on this list can be a good thing. But I suppose it’s not one these guys particularly want to read.

Number One: Easy, Michael Vick. We all know why, the dog fighting and torture of small animals. I agree with this one. Jim Rome didn’t. Rome had Vick on a few weeks back and said, "I think the guy is reformed." Me, I’m an animal lover and if Vick was ripping my little dogs teeth out with pliers, I’d have to put one in him. A bullet. Major jerk.

Number Two: Tiger Woods. The guy was on the "Most Popular" list four years ago. In fact No. 1. He’s lost tons of dough for screwing a few chicks outside of his marriage. Maybe it’s because they worked at Perkins. I do feel a bit bad for him. He’s the poster boy for cheating on your wife and that’s not fair. I was not too impressed that Woods is also on the list for WORST CELEBRITY TIPPERS at No 2. Carry some cash Tiger, for Christ sake.

Number Three: Plexico Burres. This for shooting HIMSELF in the leg. He did his time and got back to his game, football. The man is quiet and also doesn’t deserve the hate.

Number Four: Lebron James. Lebron went from the most popular list to the hater list, which was also somewhat unfair. The guy is one of the NBA’s best ever and let his ego get a bit off the radar. Now he can’t get back into the good guy group and that’s too bad.

Number Five: T.O. Terrell Owens: The guy’s career is over. He was a very special player at one time, but TO was never on the we-love-you list. Guess it was just one reality show too many.

Number Six: Kobe Bryant. Not a surprise. No way is Kobe Mr. Nice Guy – on or off the court. He also has that little rape case hanging over his head from 99 years ago. By the way, "not guilty," she was a ho. Kobe also was on the most popular list at one time.

There are a few others you may recognize like Barry Bonds for obvious reasons and my favorite hated athlete on the list for no good reason, Kris Humphries for getting played by Kim Kardashian. Who did we forget, Ndamukong Suh? Watch who you step on, Suh!

What almost all these guys have in common save Kris Humphries, they were once on the most popular lists.

Seems to be a pattern, we like you, we love you, we hate you. Sounds like marriage, huh?

Wonder what KC’s most hated list would look like? I mean besides me.

Email your Top 10 list of KC’s most hated to craig@kcconfidential.com (or list in comments section) and win dinner for two at Westport Flea Market or Quinton’s in KC and drinks and comedy at Stanford’s.

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 9 Comments

Hearne: Whitney Houston Death Hardly the Surprise Characterized by Most Media

Enough already…

From CNN and MSNBC on down, media pundits have expressed shock and dismay at singer Whitney Houston‘s death at the young age of 48.

As a reluctant follower of Houston’s fall from grace in the pages of the National Enquirer though, my take is just the opposite.

I can’t believe she lasted this long!

For example the current issue of the Enquirer – which went to press just prior to Houston’s death last weekend – features a front page story and photos of her down and out in Beverly Hills, the city where she was found dead.

"Whitney Collapses!" the headline reads. "Strung Out & Broke, it’s worse than anyone thought. The shocking photos."

Now look, I know many of you take a dim view of the Enquirer, and I don’t entirely blame you.

However, as an adjunct to writing my column in the Kansas City Star years ago, I subscribed to a number of magazines – including the Enquirer – as a means of keeping my pop culture ear to the ground. Frankly, it gave me a bit more ammo and insight when reporting on national stars that visited KC and I sometimes interviewed.

And as I’ve said before here, the Enquirer is THE most legit of the tabloids, in my opinion.

People magazine is OK if you don’t mind waiting several months for them to catch up to the Enquirer.

But back to Whitney…

"Whitney Houston collapsed in a stunning public breakdown, and friends fear the troubled singer is back on drugs and facing financial ruin," the story begins. "Once worth more than $100 million, the 48-year-old star is nearly broke and battling health problems related to her longtime addictions to cocaine and marijuana, insiders say.

"Despite that, Whitney continues to party with duggie pals, sources add, and she crumpled after leaving a doctor’s office in Beverly Hills on Feb. 2."

By my anecdotal measure, I hadn’t read much news on Houston in recent years outside of her failed comeback  long after the alleged Bobby Brown beating.

So the timing on the Enquirer story this week couldn’t have been much better, outside of the fact that Houston died just before it reached the stands. Prophetic is the word that comes to mind.

That said, the story gives a lot of insight with what may have lead to her death missing from the media coverage I’ve seen elsewhere.

Take the tale of Houston walking out of L.A.’s Le Petit Four restaurant with boyfriend Ray J.

"Whitney had a big smile on her face and seemed so out of it that Ray had to buckle her seatbelt for her," a source told the Enquirer.

"A recent report decribed Whitney as ‘broke as a joke,’ claiming she called one pal to borrow $100 and would be homeless if friends weren’t supporting her," the Enquirer adds. "It’s hard to believe Whitney could burn through all that money, but nowadays she does seem desperate," another friend told the Enquirer.

The magazine reports that Houton’s most recent "rehab stint" was last May. Right before she appeared in the movie "Sparkle" with former American Idol finalist Jordin Sparks.

The telltale closing graphs of the story, combined with the photos, tell a dark, sad tale.

"Whitney needs to slow down and take better care of herself," a source told the Enquirer. "One minute she seems down and depressed and the next she’s partying like a maniac! It’s getting to the point where she’s playing Russian rouletter with her life!"

See what I mean?

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 24 Comments