KC Confidential

A pair of stories making the rounds today has to make you wonder about the sanctity of youth…

That august Kansas City radio talk show host Walt Bodine of public radio station KCUR FM is retiring is one thing. Bodine’s 91 and the awful truth is management’s been counting the days, waiting for him to bail for probably 20 years. And as significant as Bodine’s contributions have been, his retirement is long overdue.

And that’s just the tip of today’s Really Old Dudes iceberg.

The story that gets me – really gets me – is about the slimy dude who helped his wife scam KU for all those basketball tickets ($2 million worth that they know of) appealing his 46-month sentence from a year back.

That’s right, former KU athletic department consultant Thomas Blubaugh wants his sentence reduced to 33 months. He’s in the slammer in Oklahoma and thinks the sentencing judge relied too heavily on heresay.

Now the kicker…

Blubaugh’s sentencing judge was a 104 year-old Kansas man by the name of Wesley E. Brown.

Turns out Brown was the longest serving federal judge, oldest federal judge still hearing cases and the oldest dude to serve as a federal judge in the history of this country when he checked out on January 23rd.

This guy was probably rolling his own cigarettes when Bodine was still in diapers.

Check out this six year-old photo of Brown on Wikipedia. Below it, it says: "No higher resolution available."

No higher resolution indeed – this guys high school picture was probably in pen and ink.

But enough about Brown and the KU ticket scandal – back to Bodine.

I’ll never forget – nor will a certain KCUR general manager by the name of Patricia Cahill – the day in 1996 when she told the world Bodine was history.

It was 16 years ago then that the Star trotted out a largely pro-Bodine, front-page story about his axing.

"KCUR-FM calls a quick ending for the dean of KC broadcasting’s radio show," read the partial headline.

"He was told after completing his one-hour show Monday and before undergoing outpatient eye surgery that his contract would not be renewed and that `The Walt Bodine Show’ had been canceled," it reads.

Bodine’s take at the time: “It came as a total shock to me.”

The story noted that Bodine had been legally blind since the mid-1970s and that "several sources close to Bodine and the station, who declined to be identified, said the quality of his show had declined in recent years (and) he was often ill-prepared to interview high-profile guests."

Despite which the local media beatdown of Cahill was so intense she nearly had a nervous breakdown and Bodine was rehired.

“The venom that I hear on the answering machine from the messages that we’ve got at the station – it scares me, it’s so mean,”  Cahill told me at the time. “And people are so quick to judge without knowing all of the details. And that scares me in a way, too. ” 

Cahill reluctantly accepted being the scapegoat for Walt’s axing but told me then it was not a one-woman decision.

Like the anonymous dudes in the front page story, Cahill would have liked to have laid down the story-behind-the-story on Bodine’s firing but…

"I can’t,” she told me. “It is not possible for everyone to know everything that happened … because it’s a personnel matter, it’s a confidential matter. ”

As for Bodine not being given an on-air, Goodbye Mr. Chips farewell, "People don’t say ‘Goodbye’ on the radio," Cahill told me. "They say ‘Hello’ on the radio."

Times have changed…

This time around Bodine will indeed be allowed to say goodbye on KCUR at 10 a.m. April 27th.

And as for Cahill, she’s slated to retire in June after 25 years at the station.

Her parting shot this time around: "We hope Walt will still come by the station," she told the Star. "We don’t want to lose track of Walt or to let our listeners lose track of him."

Speaking of losing track, in a perfect world, this story would have been written by Star television and media beat writer Aaron Barnhart. However, as I wrote here two months back Barnhart has been out of sight since late last year. That after previously being diagnosed with cancer that was thought to be in remission. Sources say Barnhart’s unexplained departure is thought to be health related.

All of which adds up to the one thing; it’s sucks getting old sometimes.

They seek him here, they seek him there, those foodies seek him everywhere…Is he a chef or merely a drunk, that demmed abusive Bourdain punk.

The "unrepentant" drinker, smoker and cusser of bad words Anthony Bourdain hit KC last December, mixing business with hedonism – playing the Midland downtown (courtesy of former KU concert king turned theater bigshot Steve Traxler) – and working up a future show about what Kansas City that airs tonight at 8 p.m. on the Travel Channel.

Look for it to be part not-so-fine dining expereinces and part and drunken expedition. With The Black Keys tagging along for the ride. And as KCC reported last year he hit BB’s Lawnside BBQ and Stroud’s, to name two. He also reportedly polished off a a raucous post-Midland wilding at the Cigar Box downtown.

But since nobody around these parts I know of stalked him, the specifics of Bourdain’s local tour shall largely remain nameless until tonight other than to say he told a gathering of kickass local chefs and foodies like Michael Smith that he loved Oklahoma Joe’s.

That said, here’s a mix of Bourdain’s front and backstage comments and asides as a tuneup for tonight’s show. I’d lay down a few more, but you try reading my scribbled-in-the-dark notes from last year.

On the Iron Chef…"Do you like that show? I hate that show. I like the Japanese version – I love the dubbing."

On Man v. Food show’s Adam Richman..."I like him, but the show concept I’m a little uncomfortable with. Then something about Ed Hardy Douche-wear. "Why do we watch this show? Look in your hearts, because we want him to die."

On traveling to world basically wasted and drinking…"the local beverages – we’re not alcoholics, we’re tele-fucking-professionals."

Bourdain’s nickname for the three top fast chains…"The King, the Clown and the Colonel."

On local healthy eating habits…"I’ve been here five days and cheesy corn’s about the only vegetable I’ve seen."

Most amazing political feat..."I got Ted Nugent to drink the second beer of his life. That’s a big win for me."

On growing old gracefully..."I’m a parent, sorry. Come on, who wants to see their dad rock? So I got rid of the thumb ring, earring and Ramones t-shirt. Cool is not giving a fuck, but when you have a kid, you definitely give a fuck."

In response to a set up question from an audience member trying to pimp an area high-end eatery..."Fuck Justus Drugstore."

On his wife..."She’s like a wolf. All she eats is protein. I married an Italian who will not eat pasta. I married Chuck Norris."

On a certain historic, downtown restaurant..."I’m a sentimentalist. We went to the Savoy Grill and New York restaurants would kill to have that room. It is awesome – you know I respect places like that."

What to expect on tonight’s show…"We’ve been here shooting for a week and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised and disturbed by what we’ve found."

Enough with the phony surveys..

A funny thing happened during yesterday’s breakfast interview/meeting with Mancow in Chicago. In what came across quite innocently – at least at first – Mancow called out the women in Kansas City for being overweight.

Fat, actually.

"Are you shocked by how big the women in Kansas City are?" he mused. "They are so huge."

Hey, it’s not like this comes as a news flash or anything.

The Cowtown’s been on the receiving end of countless "Fattest Cities" surveys over the years.

Personally, I don’t put much stock in these "reports." Fittest, fattest, best place to raise kids, start a family, retire, party – the list is endless. The way I view them is as contrived means for magazine’s like Men’s Fitness to bolster flagging readership and sales by working up phony formulas that they know will get picked up, reported and discussed by local newspapers, magazines and radio and television stations.

Instant PR.

Aside from the contrived hype, it’s not like there’s zero basis for reaching some of these conclusions. Take Men’s Health‘s 2010 ranking of KC as the country’s 6th fattest city…

You needn’t go much farther than the Plaza to support that case, but have you been to Topeka lately?

And after spending a few days wandering around Chicago I can see where Mancow’s coming from. The sidewalks are crawling with people of every age and stripe here, who with rare exception appear far skinnier that the people we see waddling about in KC.

So yeah, from my observations there are far fewer women of great weight roaming the streets of Chicago than Kansas City. It’s fairly obvious.

That said, after assigning an F to Kansas City in fattness, Chicago barely eeked out a D from Men’s Health, coming in as 22nd fattest. Frankly, I don’t get it?

Most of the fat people I see in Chicago here look like they’re from out-of-town.

Like from Kansas City or Topeka.

Or that state I rambled through on the way here – what’s it called? – oh yeah, Iowa.

You can’t get much fatter than Iowa. Yet the only city out of like 100 to move Men’s Fitness’s Fat Meter was Des Moines with a C- and in 39th place.

Look, I just have one question:

Who is Men’s Health trying to kid with these bogus rankings?

You know you’re in Chicago when the drive in from the outskirts is 10 times worse than the entire rest of the trip…

Turns out there’s something to be said about quality of life and all that falderol we take for granted in KC. Somebody remind me to check out the train accommodations here next time. Speaking of checking something out, get a load of the gas prices here, fellow flyover types. My nine gallon Fiat fillup ran an eyebrow arching $43.00 @ $4.69 a gallon.

Caught up to KC radio export Erich "Mancow" Muller for breakfast at Chicago’s ritzy new Palomar hotel downtown. The Cow was hanging there with wife Sandy and their twin daughters for Spring Break.

A few hightlights….

"Let’s talk about radio," Mancow says. "It’s a mess. Look, I’m the best buggy whip maker there is. Everybody’s afraid. The Internet’s the new shiny toy and the writing’s on the wall. People in radio aren’t making money. Thankfully, I’ve already made my money."

Mancow returns to KC a time or three a year for Gates Bar-B-Q, dinner at the Savoy (the old ways die hard) and the odd canoe misadvernture. But the longer he’s away, the less likely his one-time dream of returning and running a small radio station with his brother becomes.

"I just don’t think I can come back," he says. "Ive been gone too long."

Then – out of the clear blue sky – Mancow hits me with The Question:

"Are you shocked by how big the women in Kansas City are?," he asks. "They are so huge. When I was a kid going to Southwood Elementary in Raytown, we all made fun of the one fat kid. Now I would imagine, they all make fun of the one skinny kid."

On the conspiracy front, Mancow addressed the recent death of his friend, conservative political commentator Andrew Breitbart.

Breitbart checked out March 1st at the ripe, young age of 43 on the day he was to have released a huge story that would have rocked the Obama presidency. After his death a story was posted on Breitbart’s Web site revealing "Obama’s love for far-Left radical Saul Alinsky" and the world collectively yawned.

That wasn’t the story Breitbart planned to release that day, Mancow says.

Mancow’s take on Breitbart’s death:

"He was murdered. We were working on a TV show and I talked to him every day and he told me he had information that was going to bring down Obama. He kept saying, March 1st, March 1st. And he died on the day he was going to bring it out, on March 1st. He died at (something like) 2 a.m. – he went for a walk and died of natural causes.

"I’ll tell you what’s suspicious about this. Stars die all the time of obvious things, and we’re not allowed to say anything until the coroner’s report. But this guy dies of natural causes and case closed."

Talk about buzzkills…

In one of the more oblique press releases ever penned, the Kansas City City Market wrote late yesterday:

"The City Market is interested in the success of our tenants thus does not anticipate booking a 2012 concert series as a response to a concern from the Steamboat Arabia Museum that concerts have and continue to put their artifacts at risk. Investigation of this matter is a priority at this time.

"The past five years the City Market has partnered with AEG Live and Entercom Radio for the “Buzz Under the Stars” Concert Series hosting artists such as Mumford & Sons, The Killers, Incubus, Death Cab for Cutie and Offspring. This great partnership has brought more than 120,000 music enthusiasts to enjoy the atmosphere of concerts with downtown Kansas City, Missouri as its backdrop. We thank you for your patronage."

Talk about carefully-worded- "does not anticipate" – how could it get any vaguer?

"This is not a new thing, this has been going on for years and years," says Steamboat Arabia main man David Hawley. "It’s just gotten worse. You know, the speakers have gotten bigger and bigger and they have to bring them in on big trucks now."

In the early days of City market shows, a stage one fourth the size of the ones in use in recent years backed directly up Hawley’s museum.

"Then they moved it around 1998 or 1999," Hawley says. "As I’ve told people, if you can hear them, we can work around that, but if you can feel them, then we have a problem. But they (say they) need the sound pressure levels to drive the intensity. Last October is when the concrete fell out of our ceiling."

That was at the Death Cab for Cutie concert.

"They had a good time," Hawley says. "Although they didn’t have too many people. Some of the shows have had as many as nine or ten-thousand people.

"But you know, the sound engineers cater to the bands and when the band says, ‘Crank it up,’ they do – that’s their job. And our job is to protect what we do. And (the City Market) said, ‘Well Dave, let’s just insure it for you.’ But accepting insurance, for us to agree to that is like saying, ‘It’s okay to break things as long as we get paid for them.’ And that’s notm our position. We’re not a big organization supported by a big foundation or anything – it’s just us and the people who come to see us."

And hey, how do you insure the Mona Lisa?

When it’s gone, it’s gone – some things just can’t be replaced by a pile of cash.

"You know if we were the Nelson, we wouldn’t be having this discussion," Hawley says. "Somebody wouldn’t be glueing down the Chinese dishwhere, the concerts would stop."

Contrary to rumors, Hawley and the museum has not taken legal action against the City Market over the dispute.

"We told them we would hire an attorney to protect the collection if we have to," Hawley says. "They told me on Good Friday, they’ve got to get this done by that day or Monday and I told them if we have to, I would lawyer up. And I told them that a month ago. I can’t have things breaking here and if I have to I would lawyer up.

"They sent some engineers over here last November and again two weeks ao, but we’ve not seen that report yet."

Hawley things the City Market has more than enough fair warning and time to move the event to a city-owned park just to the east or to Richard Berkley Park on the river where the Irish almost drowned a handful of years back.

"You know, if you want to do it,then jump in and do iit," Hawley says. "There’s nother easy about digging up steamboats either, but you can’t expect a business like ours to be okay with havng your things damaged and broken just so they can do a few concerts."

Hawley as almost last to learn his landlord was poised to cancel the concert series, after City Market sent out a press release yesterday in the middle of the local 6 p.m. news.

"I didn’t hear about it until I got a call from Channel 9 News that they had called the season," he says. "I didn’t get the email because they’re upset with me."

And Hawley feels bad for other City market businesses that will miss out on some selling opportunities.

"I know and I feel bad about that," he says. "But I don’t think they would want to see us lose our collection."

Not that long ago the celebrity gossip on Glen Campbell was pretty generic in nature…

He was still raising heck and garnering typical big star headlines like, "Glen Campbell Given Jail Time" in June 2004.

Or, "Country singer Glen Campbell issued an apology to his family and fans Tuesday after being arrested Monday evening on charges of driving drunk and kicking a police officer," reads a 2003 CNN story. "Campbell, 67, spent several hours in a Maricopa County jail cell Monday evening on drunken driving, hit and run and assault charges after a series of incidents police say started with a minor car wreck near his home in Phoenix."

Believe it or not, those were the "good old days."

More recently the news has turned sadder and even sadder.

"A nasty family feud has erupted over music legend GLEN CAMPBELL’s $50 million fortune," read a headline in the National Enquirer last October.

"As the 75-year-old singer struggles with Alzheimer’s disease on his final tour, in­siders reveal his wife Kim, 53, has dumped several of his longtime band members – including a daughter (Debby) from Glen’s first marriage – so she could replace them with the children she had with him," a source close to Campbell told the magazine.

“Debby was Glen’s backup singer and right-hand gal. She’d cover for him when his memory began to fail on stage. When I saw him perform recently in Los Angele, he struggled to remember the lyrics to some of his best-known songs and no one helped him. Debby told me later, ‘I would have made sure that never happened.’

‘Campbell’s touring band now includes his children with fourth wife Kim – Shannon, 26, on guitar; Ashley, 25, on banjo, keyboards and vocals; and Cal, 28, on drums,’ said the source."

The latest, as Campell approaches his 76th birthday four days before he hits The Uptown on April 26:

"Alzheimer’s-plagued legend being cruelly mocked – by his own people," reads this week’s Enquirer headline.

"Alzheimer’s-stricken Glen Campell – struggling to please his fans on his final concert tour – is being mistreated and mocked by some of those closest to him, charge insiders…’Glen does whatever whatever his family wants and keeps saying he’s exhausted, but they just ignore him,’ claimed a family friend…'(And) some members of his stage crew who’ve been with Glen a long time mock his performance when he forgets something. Their behavior is absolutely disgraceful.’ "

There’s more.

"The friend adds that Glen doesn’t know what city he’s in most of the time, forgets lyrics to songs he’s been playing for 30 years or more and often walks up to the wrong microphone and has to be redirected to center stage," the Enquirer continues. "Once he even readied the band to play Rhinestone Cowboy only two songs after he’d gotten a standing ovation for performing the smash hit."

Despite all of that, the Enquirer notes, songs like Wichita Lineman, Gentle on My Mind and Galveston still perovide "moments of greatness."

And The Flordia Times-Union wrote recently that Campell’s show, "inspired respect, tears and laughter" March 27th in Jacksonville.

"His voice is still warm and strong, he has some mean guitar solos left to share and he has not lost his stage presence, but it is clear from his sometimes innocently childlike demeanor that something is askew…" the review begins.

"Later, after an energetic version of “I Can’t Stop Loving You,” which inspired a sing-along, Campbell said, “What are we doing now?” His daughter stepped forward and quietly reminded him that they were doing the soundtrack song “True Grit.” He paused and was nostalgic about filming the 1969 movie: “That was one of the most incredible experiences in my life, to ride on a horse alongside John Wayne.

"The sense that the concert was indeed a farewell ­– not one of those bogus farewell-until-the-reunion shows – was palpable. There were tears, but they fell mostly over the raised cheeks of smiling faces."

The sold-out Jacksonville show was populated mostly by people 50 and up, the review noted. But the first comment on the newspaper’s Web site came from a younger fan.

"Good article. I am not yet part of the over 50 crowd but I remember hearing his music from the 70’s on the radio and in the movies. His songs were fun to listen to. I regret I missed this show."

Sellout alert: check with the Uptown this afternoon after noticing that the Jacksonville and other shows have been selling out and the word is good tickets are still available. However it’s a seated show so there will be a limited capacity.

Close but no drag bar…

Late last week Craig Glazer was told by radio station staffers at Wilks Broadcasting in Manor Square that Missie B’s was taking over the space America’s Pub vacated in January. Glazer had earlier confirmed that Missie B’s had looked at the Pub and other locations in Westport, so after being told by the radio station dudes to check out the workers hard at it in the club, he did and they copped to being with Missie B’s.

They were all wrong.

For what it’s worth, Glazer kinda covered his butt by writing in his final sentence: "I’ve not gotten official word from them it’s a done deal, but it sure looks that way."

Now here’s the inside skinny.

"The bottom line is Missie B’s has no intention and no plans for any expansion," says manager Jan Allen. "And as a matter of fact, owner Michael Burnes who owns Missie B’s has signed a new lease at our present location."

That would be at 805 West 39th Street in Midtown Kansas City, Missouri.

However, it’s not like Glazer’s rumor was completely unfounded, Allen says.

"Quite honestly, Mr. Burnes did look at a few opportunities as our lease here was coming up," she says. "It’s been a rumor for a long time, (so) I’m not even surprised."

Locations Missie B’s considered include America’s Pub and the Firefly lounge, Allen says.

In the end, a combination of kickass business and sorting out a few details with its current landlord resulted in Missie B’s decision to stay put.

How kickass is the biz, you ask? Beaucoup.

"On a good Saturday night – the in-and-out count – I’ve seen 1,100 to 1,200 people," Allen says. "On Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday we have drag shows downstairs and we have dancing upstairs. And we have dancing downstairs after the shows are over around midnight to twelve-thirty."

Remember, Missie B’s also has a 3 a.m. license.

As for the reason Missie B’s looked into Westport in the first place, for starters they recognize that having a more mainstream location has proved highly successul for other drag bars and cabarets around the country, Allen says. Plus they got a very warm and positive thumbs up from the powers-that-be in Westport.

"Westport talked to Michael Burnes and told him they would welcome us and all that," Allen says. "So maybe one of these days, you never know."

Meanwhile, any press is good press and Glazer’s story has heated up Missie B’s phone lines with people asking about the move, Allen says.

"There’s really no harm done," she says. "People talking about us is good because maybe they’ll drop in to make sure we’re still here."