Starbeams: So Spray Me, Dodge City Showdown & Snakebit @ Walmart

Posted on May 15, 2012 by admin

Spray-on seed has been has been added to the grounds at Liberty Memorial as part of a $3.6 million restoration.  This is nothing new as several dudes at the memorial over the years have asked me if I would like some of their spray-on seed.

*******

Dodge City street gang members have been charged recently with alleged racketeering and murder.  The term ‘Dodge City Street Gang’ was immediately trademarked by the History Channel.

*******

Over the weekend a guy was shopping in the garden section of a Walmart in Idaho.  While he was looking for the price of a plant, he removed a large stick that was blocking the price tag…which turned out to be a RATTLESNAKE!! The snake immediately bit him and his hand swelled to the size of a cantaloupe from the venom.  He’s recovering but his hand may be permanently disfigured. 

I don’t get it;  Walmart has 3,000 security cameras and they can’t spot a large rattlesnake…but if I put a toaster in my pants, some cop puts my face in the pavement.

 

Kelly Urich hosts the morning show on The Point 99.7 FM

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Jack Goes Confidential: ‘The Dictator’ In Loving Memory Of Kim Jong-Il

Posted on May 15, 2012 by admin

What can I say about Sacha Baron Cohen that hasn’t been said a million times before?

You either love him or hate him. He’s the master of unstaged and unscripted ambush, confrontational comedy. And naturally, most of it’s pretty offensive by today’s PC standards.
 
The old DA ALI G SHOW followed by BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHAN and BRUNO certainly are proof of his obsession and his success.
 
But with THE DICTATOR Cohen ventures into uncharted territory.

Namely, scripted comedy using real actors. In this case Ben Kingsley and Anna Faris and a storyline of a tiny nation’s dictator who risks his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed.
 
The movie opens in the Dictator’s home land of Wadiya—just minutes from Somalia—then rapidly moves to New York City where he will address the United Nations. But there’s a body double being substituted in a potential coup, forcing the real dictator to be stuck in the Big Apple trying to reclaim his identity.

Along the way connecting with local food co-op manager Zoe—bushy armpit hair and all – played by Anna Faris.
 
The movie’s very first frame on screen proclaims: "In Loving Memory Of Kim Jong-Il"
 
That pretty well sets the tone as Cohen as Admiral General Aladeen sets out to offend just about every race, creed and gender. And even though it’s scripted there’s plenty of improvisational and spontaneous pushing of the envelope to satisfy even the most twisted tastes.
 
Some fans have compared Cohen’s schtick to Andy Kaufman. You definitely see some of that in this movie.
 
As for the pacing?
 
It’s rapid fire punchlines. If one joke doesn’t meet your fancy, don’t worry, there’s another one coming in mere seconds.
 
Going into last week’s screening I figured there was nothing fresh to be had.

Was I ever wrong. I found myself laughing throughout the movie’s relatively short running time of just 84 minutes.
 
And yes, there are at least two major scenes that’ll have moviegoers squirming in their seats. They did me!
 
Sacha Baron Cohen fans won’t be disappointed with THE DICTATOR, as the king of culture shock offers up a cameo laden cinematic romp of offensive proportions.

I’m raising 3 out of 5 tyrannic fingers.
 
Sidebar: Anna Faris told me at CinemaCon that her hairy armpits on the set caused quite the stares in New York. Especially when she took breaks from filming and ventured around the neighborhood and didn’t want to go through the process of taking off the bushels of hair—only having to re-apply them a short time later.
 
JACK GOES TO THE MOVIES–Friday mornings at 6:40 a.m. on NewsRadio KMBZ Am & Fm and anytime on Time-Warner Cable’s K.C. ON DEMAND, Channel 411

Posted in Jack_Poessiger | Tagged | 9 Comments

Glazer: Scribe & Hottie Off to Puerto Rico for a Week

Posted on May 15, 2012 by admin

As we reach middle age we often find that we have or take very little time for ourselves…

We’re always saving for our futures – but guess what – if you’re over 45, it’s already here! It’s time to enjoy life and your friends. Most of you have all worked hard and maybe raised a couple kids, now it’s your turn.

However, too many of us bought into the big lie. One of many, actually.

 That when you grow up everything will be swell. You’ll be able to drive and own a car and won’t need your mom or the neighbor to give you a ride. You’ll get married, have a great job and kids and everything will be aces. Oh yeah, and you’ll have great and loyal friends – tons of ’em!

What we eventually learn is that life is not too fair.

That growing up and getting older is usually accompanied by all sorts of problems and headaches. Even for the chosen few who end up with some real bucks.

Marriage usually doesn’t work out for the long haul. Your kids drive you crazy and cost a fortune. And that great job?  Even for those who spend most of their time in an office making a good living, it gets old, really old. And the job rewards are few in the end.

And too many of us find out just how little anybody cares when we get dumped or forced into retirement.

It’s goodbye Charlie, best of luck old chum. Did you see the Jack Nicholson film "About Schmidt?" For so many people, that’s a very true look at the end game.

Many of you readers are much younger, 25, 30 or maybe even just right at 40.

"That’s not me," you say. Think again – it’s most people – too many of us, in fact. We put off those great adventure plans until it’s too late or doesn’t matter much anymore. When you visit those far off Islands and beaches at 70 or 75, well, life has a way of taking the fun out of the trip. If you get my drift.

Sure, the food’s good and the hotels are very nice and the chicks on the beach are smoking hot. Trouble is at that age, much of the possible enjoyment has just passed us by. We can’t do the things we once did and we don’t look the way we did at 35 or 40.

Look, I am very aware that even those of us who have saved some decent money are not safe these days.

Hell, I have friends  with seven figures saved up but there is no interest on their money so they worry about their futures. In many ways can’t blame them.

But what about TODAY?

I’ve asked all my pals to go on trips to some great places like Rio or Bali or maybe even the French Riviera. And their answer is usually, "Not now, maybe when my kids get outta college." Or, "Well, I’m going to do all that in a few years. There’s just too much going on with work and all."  And of course,  "Man, it’s just too much money for me right now."

Hey, that’s the only one that you can understand. However there are still cheap deals these days.

In the end, none of my KC pals will ever go anywhere major for adventure again.

Sure, there will be the lake, a trip up north to say Chicago. Maybe visit the kids in school or even go to L.A. or San Diego, if they have a relative there to stay with or a reason to be there. But just to go? Nah.

Me, I work hard. I know most of you think it’s all play for me but it’s not.

Sure I go to Vegas and LA often, but it’s both business and pleasure. Fortunately my career takes me to those two places. I’m lucky. Still I have a few places I always thought I’d see when I was younger. I’ve done the Caribbean a few times, even Jamaica. It’s been just for a minute though. So now is my final chance to do these places and have fun, like I would have 10 or 15 years ago. Hey it’s never a perfect time, right.

My pal Steve lives in Puerto Rico, on the other side of San Juan. I’ve been to San Juan, but not the more private sides and beaches. So the guy bugs me to visit him, there’s a five star hotel next to his condo and I figured, "What the hell?"

So I asked my main girl, Jessie, to go.

Barbie and I ended pretty quick on the second round – she’s fun but a headache.

Jessie was thrilled. She’s a great athlete and stays in crazy cool shape, so I’m lucky. We’ll see. Last time I went with a lady for an entire week it was with my ex wife Connie, and she was always wonderful.

And later I’m going to go to Rio, The French and Italian Riviera and visit my pal Warren in Bali. And maybe a few more just for fun jumps. Why not? Life is short and there aren’t that many rewards as we get older.

So I leave tomorrow for Puerto Rico.

I hope it’s a great trip with sun and rest. My advice to all of you is go do whatever it is you want to do before somebody hands you a "gold watch."

I don’t really know exactly what all works in life, but I do know what doesn’t -a quiet life of desperation.

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 15 Comments

Glazer: An All Star Game With No All Stars, the Indignity of it All

Posted on May 15, 2012 by admin

So how bad is this Royals season thus far?

We have an All Star game here in about a month and we don’t even have a single All Star on the Royals!!! At least not now. Maybe one will pop up in time for the mid season classic, but I wouldn’t bet on it.

Before the season we thought we had about three or four.

Eric Hosmer, for sure, maybe Mike Moustakas, Alex Gordon and possibly even Danny Duffy. It looks like this today: Hosmer is batting under .200 and has all year – there’s even talk of sending him back to the minors. WOW! Mike, I mean Moose, is decent with an average just over .300 and a weak four homers. He’s our best bet as of today. Moose is also an outstanding 3rd baseman. Alex Gordon has been average, batting in the mid .200’s (.258 now) with just 4 home runs and 16 RBI’s – very average.

Now we get to the best – or is it worst – news.

That being, Danny Duffy, our future HUGE pitching star. The guy, who brings the ball at 100 MPH, or just under. Our brightest and only young pitching star. 610 Sports announced today that Danny needs Tommy John Surgery which means he’ll be out for at least one or two seasons. Meaning, likely he will NEVER BE THE SAME. NEVER. They will give you examples of two or three pitchers who came back, but most don’t!

Duffy complained of pain a couple weeks back. Thank God the Royals didn’t waste that $1,500 dollars on an MRI. Turns out they ruined his arm, their only ace.

Oh yeah, we’ve still got Luke Hochevar. His 7.20 ERA leads all American League Starters as STINKO. Yes, he did win a game Saturday, the guy is 3-3. Maybe he’s our All Star?

The other good news is simple: The Royals are in baseball’s worst division.

Though the Royals have stunk it up and badly with no end in sight. And yes, I am aware that they have won 10 of the last 16. So? They are just 4 1/2 games back.  They have no pitching and mediocre hitting thus far.

So much fun, AN ALL STAR GAME WITH NO ALL STAR.

Not to worry, the American League manager will pick one…Hmmmm…you’re up Billy Butler.

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 9 Comments

Hearne: Pitch Congratulates Bogus ‘Best Of’ Buddy, Travel & Leisure Magazine

Posted on May 14, 2012 by admin

Will we ever learn?

I mean, really – we’re such suckers. It’s high time Kansas City media quit pandering to inconsequential "best of" promotions promulgated by loser magazines with little to no research credibility. Publications’s like Travel & Leisure, which twice in two months has annointed KC in one of its so-called "surveys."

Contrived surveys that are published with zero information about how they were complied, the number of participants – you know, pretty much whatever one would want or need to know to consider the survey relevant or legit.

Kinda like those Pitch ‘Best Of" issues…

So it’s not really surprising that it was the Pitch which annointed Travel & Leisure‘s latest bit of tripe by "reporting" the results:

That Kansas City is the country’s 8th best burger city.

Hey now, that’s cause for celebration. Only seven other cities in the survey have better burgers.

However instead of calling out Travel & Leisure for being trite – like it should have – the Pitch‘s Jonathan Bender rewards the rag by quoting from the results instead of questioning them. And then dropping in a lame joke line about having a permanent seat at Town Topic.

Good one.

Here’s the Pitch’s quote: "The city’s best gourmet burger option may be at Blanc Burgers Bottles, which offers watercress and truffle butter as toppings. Kids and trainspotters, however, might prefer Fritz’s Railroad Restaurant, dating back to the 1950s, where the burgers are delivered by way of miniature train."

Sound like survey results to you? The best gourmet burger "may be" this and kids "might prefer" that. You can’t get much more wishy-washy than that.

You know, Blanc does a nice job but there are a billion gourmet burger joints that have popped up around the country doing similarly well. Like Robert Krause‘s Burger Stand and Dempsy’s in Lawrence. There’s no rocket science to this game – pretty much anybody can and is playing.

FYI, last time I took my kids and their friends to Fritz’s in Crown Center the joint was as dirty as could be and the burgers tasted like – don’t take this the wrong way – dog food.

The point being that zines like Travel & Leisure put these silly, unscientific surveys out for the same reason the Pitch puts out its bloated "best of" issues, to generate publicity. Not to pass on hidden truths. And dignifying the surveys by jerking off the editors behind them does little other than to encourage them to churn out more.

Like last month’s Travel & Leisure "survey" in which we learned in the Kansas City Star that Kansas City is America’s 20th "Best City for Hipsters"

And another thing…

If the Pitch is going to revel in this clap trap, the least it can do is bring a critical eye to the gunfight.

After all, it is Kansas City’s "alternative" weekly of record.

How about pointing out how dumb the survey is by leaving out almost every single burger joint in town that actually matters. Like Winstead’s and the Westport Flea Market. And relative newcomers like Grandstand Burgers.

Come on, guys. What are you trying to do, turn yourselves into INK?

Well, they do sell quite a few more ads.

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 8 Comments

Hearne: KU Students & Fans Celebrate Basketball Coach Bill Self’s Rug

Posted on May 14, 2012 by admin

You know what they say about, if it ain’t KU basketball season in Lawrence, it ain’t happening…

And while it’s not like every single thing in Larry revolves around Allen Field House, it does seem that way at times. Take the recent student newspaper Top 20 "KU Bucket List" of stuff the kids want to do before graduating.

No. 10: "See Bill Self without his toupée: ‘That’s something I’ve always been interested in. It looks so real. I think he has the sides still, but not the top.’ — Killian Cull, a sophomore from Overland Park."

KU fans and foes have argued for years about whether the KU basketball coach wears a rug or not.

And while both sides are passionate – some even suggesting he can’t because there’s a bald spot – nobody’s ever really pinned the tail on Self’s donkey and laid down a definitive account as to the rug’s existance.

 

Until now.

Because for what it’s worth, I’m going to give it to you from one of the horse’s mouths and tell you Self does indeed wear a hairpiece.

How do I know for sure?

Because former Kansas City Star director of retail sales and group publishing Steve Curd told me so several years ago. Curd, who later became the publisher of the Independence and Blue Springs Examiner (he left in January), knows because he was an eye witness to Self’s hairlessness when the two attended Oklahoma State University in the early-mid 1980s.

Notice the crop on the online publicity pic of Self from his playing days at OSU?

And while it may seem silly – and let’s face it, it totally is – to dig on someone’s wig, give Self credit for having a nice enough one to divide the speculation so evenly as to have people arguing about it online.

In fact, Self’s toupée even has not one but two Twitter accounts.

"I’m the hairpiece of NCAA Championship winning basketball coach Bill Self, and I have stories to tell," reads one. 

"Bill Self doesn’t wear me. I wear Bill Self. Bill Self’s head (sometimes)," says another.

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 6 Comments

New Jack City: Movies on the Silver Screen Still the Best Bet

Posted on May 13, 2012 by admin

No matter how you slice or dice it,  movie theaters continue to be the least expensive out-of-home entertainment…

And for the record the five year U.S. screen count—from 2007 through 2011—has risen from 38,803 to 39,718. That’s an increase of 2.35%.
 
Here are some interesting stats courtesy of the National Association of Theater Owners—N.A.T.O. for short.
 
Since 1981, ticket prices have increased, on average, less than the rate of inflation.
40 years ago the average 1971 ticket price was $1.65. In 2011 dollars that ticket would cost $9.16.
 
In 2011 the average U.S. ticket price was $7.93 including premium pricing on 3-D films, then falling to $7.92 during the first quarter of 2012. And that’s despite the nation’s exhibitors investing hundreds of millions of dollars over the last decade to remake the moviegoing experience with stadium seating, digital sound, digital projection and 3-D.
 
So how does today’s average movie ticket pricing compare to other major out-of-home entertainment options?
 
Let’s take a look.
 
* Broadway Theater Shows average: $89.11—Up 4.06%
* NFL football games average:         $77.36—Up 1.16%
* Live concerts average:                    $67.02—Up 10.0%
* Touring Broadway Shows average: $61.37—Down -1.3%
* NHL hockey games average:            $57.10—Up 5.25%
* NBA basketball games average:      $48.48—Up 1.72%
* MLB baseball games average:         $26.91—Up 1.2%
* Movies in theaters average:             $  7.93—Up 0.5%
 
Oh, and the parking at the movies is free. Try doing that at the stadiums or show and concert venues some time.
 

Posted in Jack_Poessiger | Tagged | 3 Comments

Donnelly: Sporting Self Destruct to Drop 3rd in a Row, Vermes Rips Refs

Posted on May 13, 2012 by admin

 

Sporting Kansas City played a decent first half Saturday at the Chicago Fire. 

Bobby Convey notched his first goal of the season with a one-timer that was set up nicely by Roger Espinoza’s cut back cross and KC went to the locker room at the half up on the home side 1-0.

The second half was a completely different story. By the time the final whistle blew, Sporting had conceded a penalty, been shown a red card, and saw one of its alleged leaders attempt a fancy juggle inside his own 6 yard box which resulted in the go ahead Chicago goal.

Yeah, total nightmare.

So after starting the season 7-0, KC now sits at 7-3. Sure, the results have been disappointing, but more troubling has been Sporting’s play of late.

Again the defense got caught napping which allowed a Chicago attacker to get in behind them.  Just like last game, Aurelien Collin made a last gasp sliding tackle that may have been unnecessary due to the poor angle.  And just like last game, the tackle may actually have been clean.  And just like last game, the ref signaled for a penalty.

But that’s not the point.

The point is that when the attacking player feels contact on a breakaway in the box, he’s going to go down.  And the ref is almost certainly going to blow the whistle.  Collin should know these things, yet he continues to make the same mistakes.   

A few minutes after Chicago buried the penalty to tie the game, KC’s Espinoza went airborne and struck Chicago’s Sebastian Grazzini in the face with a fore arm, which resulted in a straight red.  The Sporting bench protested vigorously, and continued to show their displeasure with the call after the game.

"I can’t comment on the penalty kick, but the red card is not a red card," complained KC boss Peter Vermes.  "Two years now here, in a row, we come here and we have two red cards which aren’t red cards, which completely changes the outcome of the game."    

After Roger was sent off things REALLY deteriorated.

KC looked aimless and ineffective as they tried to just hold on for dear life and escape Chicago with at least one point.  Then one of the most careless and baffling plays I’ve seen in quite a while occurred to stab KC in the collective heart. 

Kei Kamara tracked back into his own goal box – a good thing for sure, especially when you’re playing a man down.  A high ball was served into the box and Kei attempted to bring the ball down.  But rather than clearing the ball, Kei swiveled, popped the ball up on his knee and attempted a more difficult clearance. 

You can guess what happened next. 

A Chicago attacker swooped in, stole the ball, and touched it across the goal mouth to an onrushing Dom Oduro.  Oduro slid the ball into KC’s net putting Chicago up 2-1 for good, and leaving Jimmy Nielsen and the rest of the Sporting defensive line shaking their heads. 

"On the second goal, mistake on Kei," said Vermes.  "He should have cleared it and heads up to their player for making a quick play that we could have easily cleared it, and we would have been out of there with no problem.”

I can’t believe Vermes didn’t bench Kei right then and there.  That play was simply unacceptable in my book.

Instead, Vermes directed copious amounts of venom at the ref, who was centering his first MLS game. 

"The referee is there to ref the game, not to be part of the show," said Vermes.  "And today, that’s what he made himself.  He made himself part of the show.  And that’s disappointing, because players, they work hard, they are the ones who are the entertainers on the field, not him, and unfortunately that’s what the game was like today.  He changed the game.” 

While the officiating in MLS is nothing if not wildly inconsistent, those are some harsh and pointed words from Vermes.  But the bottom line is that KC has dropped 3 in a row now, they aren’t scoring goals lately, and they’ve been breaking down defensively. 

KC needs to focus on the things they can control- like defensive shape, like finding some offensive creativity – and get back their winning mentality that was so present early on this season.    

Posted in Sporting_Kansas_City | Tagged | 4 Comments

Glazer: Scribe Wishes His Mom Happy Mother’s Day

Posted on May 13, 2012 by admin

Like many of you, I lost my mother a few years back..

We only have one real mom and one real dad, so when they’re gone it hurts. I think of my mother Rita Trantham every day. Yes, she was once Rita Glazer, but my father and mother divorced long ago. Her second husband John, was a great guy, but he too passed away this year.

On mother’s deathbed she said she was proud of me and we had that long last talk.

It was painful, but I’m glad we did. You readers all know the "Glazer Boys" stories, so clearly we had many issues. My mother had far more sad days with us three kids than good ones. No doubt. I wish my mom would have lived to see King of Sting come out, but she died in 2007 when the book was done but not yet printed. She knew it was being published though. My mother also died just short of the opening of Stanford and Sons at the Legends. She did visit the complex and saw it being built before she was bed ridden.

What I most remember about my mom was how well liked she was in Kansas City.

My mother was on about every charity board she could be on. On her 70th birthday she had more than 200 ladies attend her banquet at the Fairmont. I was shocked to see so many of her friends fly in from all over the country and world to be there. She was quite a lady. I said at her funeral that my father and I got way too much attention, my mother was the best of us and deserved it more than we did – much more.

Well Mom, your grandchildren, Jake and Alex Glazer, would have made you smile. Both are A students. Alex is finishing 8th grade and Jake is a Junior at Shawnee Mission East. Both have 4.3 averages and are top notch athletes.

In fact, Jake made the Star sports section all week. He won in boys 6-A tennis the region, district and area. And he was favored to win at state yesterday but lost in the doubles finals to another team they’d  beaten in three other events.

Mom would be so proud of both boys.

Neither Jake nor Alex has ever been in a second of trouble at school or anywhere else.

My brother Jeff, for all his many issues, has been a wonderful dad. He goes to almost all their games and events, as does his former wife Kris. Which proves that even with a broken marriage and some severe issues that children can end up being better than those who raised them.

So Mom, that’s the best present we can give you today.

Jake will be on his way to college after next year, possibly with a nice scholarship and Alex will continue to be an A student and follow in his brother’s footsteps.

I spoke at my mother’s funeral:

"I don’t believe in God or Heaven or Hell, but my mother did," I said. "For her sake, I hope she’s right, because if there is a heaven she deserves to be there. She earned it." 

Happy Mothers Day, Mom. I love you.

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 3 Comments

Leftridge: Mother’s Day Gift Ideas (Because Every Other Day is About You)

Posted on May 12, 2012 by admin

Look, we’ve all got mom’s, you know? (unless your mother is dead—in which case, I’m very, truly sorry for bringing it up. What happened, anyway? She was so young!) But anyway, moms… gotta love ‘em. Be they biological or a step, in-law or kidnapper, they’ve been there for you your whole life. She was there when you graduated high school and accidentally shit your pants with the compounded nervousness of being on a stage in front of thousands of people. She stuck up for you when you were learning to ride a bicycle and you accidentally crashed it into your douchebag neighbor’s Ferrari and put a scratch in it and that greasy Mexican screamed at you and called you a worthless piece of shit, berating you until you felt like ending your life at the tender age of 5.

Moms: God bless each and every one of them. But the truth is, you haven’t done enough for her. Trust me… you haven’t. But the good news is, you can start this coming Sunday. Selecting an appropriate gift is one way of beginning to build the bridge you burned when you stole $15,000 from her savings account and ran off to Thailand where you met a chick who didn’t turn out to be a chick at all (not that you knew that before you married it in a regrettable opiate haze).

Choosing a gift can be tricky, though. What kind of mom is she? Is she a nice mom, or a really nice mom? Does she like to sing, or does she like Singer sewing machines?

Mom’s are like snowflakes; no two are alike and an accumulation of them can cause car-accidents. Knowing your mom is the first step in selecting the perfect gift. If you don’t know your mother at all, and shudder at the idea of learning more about her, why don’t you just buy something I suggest? Problem solved.

For the mom who likes to golf:

Buy her some golf tees. They’re cheap, useful and sometimes, you can find tees painted to resemble teeny little penises. Wouldn’t that be hilarious? Your mom hitting the links with a bag full of baby penises? What a hoot!

For the mom who likes sex:

Get your mom a prostitute. (but don’t skimp!!!) The options here are limitless. Does she like greased up black dudes? That can be arranged. Needle-marked, unwed teenaged mothers? Check. Little Chinese boys who have been sold into sex slavery? Sick.

For the mom who likes Don Cheadle:

This one’s easy. Hyperion’s Don Cheadle Collection on Blu-Ray. Featuring 8 of Cheadle’s best known works (Traffic, Boogie Nights… um, that one where he plays that guy… was he a cop? Shit. He was really good in it! You know the one I’m talking about). Anyway, if your mom likes Cheadle, she’ll fucking go nuts for this shit. Each movie has a commentary done by Cheadle himself and the collection comes with an autographed 8 x 10 photo of the Donster.

For the mom who doesn’t like Don Cheadle:

Sex in the City on Blu-Ray. Are you kidding? Who doesn’t fucking love Don Cheadle? Your mom must be a world class idiot.

For the mom who likes the outdoors/wildlife:

The possibilities here are wide open. You can get her some fishing lures. Or bug repellant. Maybe she needs some new waders or some hiking boots. Who knows? The folks over at www.daddybear.com have some great info, I’m sure (I’m not positive, though… I didn’t check it out, but it’s the internet. What could possibly go wrong, you know?)

For the mom who likes to read:

Kindle out of your price range? Get her a library card. She can check out VHS copies of forgotten 80’s classics like ‘Gung Ho’ with the delightful Michael Keaton, in addition to all of the “Choose Your Own Adventure” books her feeble mind can handle. The gift that keeps on giving (kind of).

For the mom who likes cars:

Check it: get her a Hot-Wheel of her favorite classic car. Include a card with it that says some bullshit like, ‘If this car were as big as the love for you in my heart, you’d have the real car.’ That’s pretty fucking lame, but sometimes, moms like that.

For the mom who likes food:

Get her a gift certificate to Don’s Tacos in Belton. The tacos there are really cheap, so even though you’re only spending $10 ($20 if you’re a real money-bags) she can take her boyfriend and that asshole’s daughter and only end up spending like, $15-$20 out of her own pocket. Just tell her to stay away from the margaritas! Don mixes them strong and the last thing your mee-maw needs is another DUI!
 

For the mom who likes her family:

Spend some time with her. Maybe you can grill out in the backyard or watch a dance competition on the television. It’s free—which means you won’t be spending any of your hard-earned plasma-selling money—and she’ll appreciate it. (you cheap, sad, son-of-a-bitch)
 

Posted in News_and_Views | Tagged | 7 Comments

Hearne: And Now the ‘Rest of the Story’ on the AMC Entertainment ‘China Crisis’

Posted on May 11, 2012 by admin

It’s one thing for the hometown paper to get scooped on a huge story like AMC Entertainment selling out to the Chinese…

Quite another to pull up short on its front page followup. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what happened earlier this week when the Star rolled out its version of the New York Times scoop on AMC being in talks to sell the company "or a significant stake" to China’s Wanda Group.

How serious is Wanda? Apparently very.

"The Chinese group has reportedly been eyeing an acquisition since president Wang Jianlin said in a speech at Tsinghua University in Beijing in 2011 that his company would ‘shock the world’ with an acquisition to be made within the year," the news organization Want China Times reported yesterday.

Now a little much-needed background and perspective.

Having laid off the business reporter that covered AMC four years back, the Star was forced to play news catchup by drafting into service reporters from its real estate and "human resources" beats. The net result begetting largely a rehash of old news with a couple quotes thrown in from a local AMC business associate rather than an independent third party.

"I was curious about that myself," says one local movie insider. "Why were they asking that guy? It just seemed kind of incestuous."

Also missing in the Star coverage were specifics, perspective and questions regarding the how and why of AMC having "gone private" years ao and subsequently being unable to cash back in via public stock offerings in three attempts. The most recent coming last month and leading up to the potential Chinese sale news.

So let’s take a look, starting with AMC’s going private in 2004.

"Private equity firms are notorious for taking public companies private only to sell shares to the public again down the road," explains B. Simmons of Investing Answers. "Private equity groups generally use leveraged buyouts or buyouts financed by large debt levels to fund their acquisitions, but the result is the same: The shares that are currently public will go away."

Later to return, hopefully generating enormous profits.

It may be worth noting that Bain Capital – Mitt Romney‘s old firm that shuttered a more than 100 year-old Kansas City steel mill and laid off more than 700 workers in the early 2000s – is one of AMC’s private equity partners.

In short, the practice of going private, restructuring the company and then taking it public again is often a means of cashing in and/or out on the private equity partners’ investments?

"You’re basically correct," says one close follower of AMC’s business dealings. "They took the company private and they’ve been looking for an exit strategy for the last five years."

When AMC’s owners first tried to cash back out in 2007 via a $500 million stock offering, they were heading into the current recession and the timing couldn’t have been worse. But even then there was more to that story.

"We have a significant amount of debt," AMC’s offering at the time read. "We have had significant financial losses in recent years. Prior to fiscal 2007, we had reported net losses in each of the last nine fiscal years totally approximately $512 million."

So while the Star‘s AMC-friendly business associate largely placed the blame for the company’s triple failure to take the company public again on market conditions, there appears to be far more to the story.

"The problem is all of the money they’ve been trying to rasie goes to the investors and not to invest back into the company," says the AMC watcher. "It’s a legitimate deal, it’s just not particularly appealing to investors."

In a perfect world taking a company public would raise money to position it for growth rather than to merely "retire debt."

A number of other significant details went missing from the local account of AMC’s foray into China.

For example, "The last few years have been extremely difficult for theater operators. Last year, attendance in North America fell to 1.28 billion, a 4 percent decline from 2010 and the lowest total in 16 years," the New York Times story reported. "Ticket revenue for last year totaled $10.2 billion, a 3 percent decrease."

And aside from market conditions "not being right," AMC may have pulled the plug on its IPO to focus on China "to allow the three firms to recoup an investment they made when they bought the company AMC in 2004," the LA Times reports.

The Los Angeles newspaper cited other difficulties facing AMC in another story late last month.

"It’s a tough business,” one of the paper’s sources was quoted, "citing the long-term challenges faced by the exhibition industry, especially from the threat posed by shrinking theatrical windows — the period between when a movie is released in theaters and when it can be viewed in the home."

"The biggest issue (AMC’s) facing is how to navigate the collapsing of theatrical windows," the source told the Times.

So while the movie biz is up sharply this year and headed into what hopes to be a boffo summer, there’s far more to the AMC China story than reported locally. Until now, of course.

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 12 Comments

Whinery: MITT ROMNEY FOR PRESIDENT

Posted on May 11, 2012 by admin

Went to the Mitt Romney fundraiser at the Westin last night and – you heard it here first – Romney is going to win in a landslide in November…

Fifty-five to forty-five to be exact…

I know, I know. Everybody thinks Obama’s got it in the bag, but I don’t think so. What has Obama done except continue the policies of W that he said he’d rescind? Last time I checked we’re still in Iraq.The popular belief is that Americans have left – but we still have tens of thousands of boots on the ground.

And while I commend the President for getting Bin Laden– If that was the goal in Afghanistan – what are we still doing there?

Unemployment is only going “down” only because the government’s numbers are hopelessly cooked.

They don’t count American’s as unemployed who’ve stopped looking for work. We have fewer Americans employed now than we did in the 80’s. REAL unemployment is close to 20 percent, far higher than the 8.1 percent the Government says it is.

Look around, this Country’s infrastructure is rotting, our education system is failing.

Let’s face it, the American Empire is crumbling.

So what can Mitt Romney do?

I think this Country desperately needs a President who has had a real job and and has created them. We need someone who’s not gonna wage war on coal, fossil fuels and pipelines. Energy is building block one for a national economy and Romney understands that.

Romney knows that the rich are not to be punished either- they are the job creators. Have you ever gotten a job from a poor person?

 And lets get one thing straight, I’m not some rich lawyer trying to protect my income.

Being of a very rare breed- an “honest” lawyer- I do OK. But not well enough to buy a ticket to the Romney fundraiser, a friend couldn’t go so he gave me his.

The people there were entrepreneurs and business owners – in other words, Employers. And by talking to several of them, they weren’t so much worried about their own incomes, but about having to let people go due to the President’s health care plan, high corporate tax rates (which are now the highest in the world), regulations and other policies which are hostile to business.

Romney understands real world economics.

He undertands that the private sector and free enterprise are the engines of growth- not the Government spending money it doesn’t have. Obama has racked up $5 trillion in deficits in 3 years, with no end in sight. Romney has turned around failing corporations in the past, and that’s exactly what the USA is right  now- a failing corporation in desperate need of a turnaround.

And the Man for the job is Mitt Romney.

Posted in News_and_Views | Tagged | 38 Comments

Glazer: Add Gay Marriage to Obama Legacy of Ending War, Depression, Offing Bin Laden

Posted on May 10, 2012 by admin

In a bold move, President Barack Obama says he’s ALL FOR GAY MARRIAGE…

Some may think this was merely a political move to stay out front of Republican challenger Mitt Romney.  The Republican candidate immediately jumped on it and said, "Marriage is between a man and a woman only!"

And with Obama is only slightly ahead in the polls that matter – far from where he’s been in the past – many think this will be a very close race. Most observers feel the President’s position on gay marriage will not help him much and in fact, may cost him valuable support.

Let’s face it, this much of this nation still leans away from gays getting married. Me, I say live and let live. If two people want to marry that are of the same sex, and it doesn’t hurt anybody else, let it be.

Besides, those divorce cases will be a hoot!

If Obama wins –  and I think he’s still unbeatable barring a major turn of events or scandal – he will likely one day go down as a great president. I know many of you don’t agree, but he will probably get credit for STOPPING A MAJOR DEPRESSION, ENDING THE WAR, KILLING OSAMA BIN LADEN & GETTING HEALTH CARE FOR EVERYBODY.

Yep, it all will have happened on his watch and that’s how it works.

The bad news is the economy is still weak, money is tight for most people and jobs are scarce. Good ones that pay anyway. However, he wasn’t the president that got us into this mess.

The best thing the President has going in this race is Mitt Romney himself, a major millionaire, who was born into money. Mitt has little first hand knowledge of economic pressures a family faces. He doesn’t have a strong platform, other than to attack Obama and fingerpoint. His saying, I will fix this economic nightmare is simply talk, there seems to be no plan.

I think all these economic issues are simply going to take time – years unfortunately.

Hey, with Obama behind gay marriage, can legalizing marijuana be far behind?

The truth is both of these will happen, but like the troubled economy, it will take years.

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 17 Comments

Jack Goes Confidential: ‘DARK SHADOWS’ Serves Up Retro Weirdness

Posted on May 10, 2012 by admin

Never having been a fan of ABC’s old TV soaper my expectations of Tim Burton‘s movie adaptation were at best "in-check."
 
And guess what DARK SHADOWS the movie pretty well delivered on those expectations. Not more. Maybe even a little less.
 
Twisting the shows storyline just a bit, Warner Brothers’ big screen adaptation maintains the basic plot of Barnabas Collins (Johnny Depp) who in 1752, along with his family, set sail for America where he became quite the heartbreaker.
 
But when he broke the wrong woman’s heart—she got even!
 
She also happened to be a jealous witch who cursed him, destroyed his family, turned him into a vampire and buried Barnabas alive chained to his coffin.
 
Now move up to 1972 where Barnabas is freshly dug up by an ill-fated construction crew and resurrected in Collinwood only to find his old family’s descendants in ruins. There’s disco, microwaves, Chevy’s—even The Carpenters performing on television for this vampire fish-out-of-water to face.
 
And his parents old cannery now belongs to Angel Bay Foods controlled by Angie Bouchard (Eva Green) a.k.a. Angelique. She’s the witch who cursed Barnabas to his fate of the living dead, preventing him from marrying his beloved Josette (Bella Heathcote) who just happens to be the new Collins family governess.
 
Come to think of it, this still plays like a gothic soap opera.
 
Is it creepy? Not so much. But Johnny Depp, who also co-produced the movie, sure gives it a try here.

My biggest beef with the picture is that it’s uneven. Like they couldn’t make up their minds whether to make it campy or play it straight. And some of the scenes go on too long and way beyond their expected ‘wink-wink’ time limit.
 
For example, Alice Cooper‘s appearance – who Depp’s Barnabas refers to as "the ugliest woman I’ve ever seen" outlasts its welcome.
 
The trailer for DARK SHADOWS would have you believe that it’s a comedy along the lines of THE ADDAMS FAMILY or THE MUNSTERS.

It’s not.
 
Which is not to say it’s not entertaining!
 
Johnny Depp as Barnabas, who even in death has a weakness for flesh, is definitely in his element here. So is Michelle Pfeiffer as family matriarch Elizabeth.

Pfeiffer told me at the recent CinemaCon conclave in Vegas that she was a huge fan of the old TV series and openly campaigned and finally persuaded Tim Burton to give her the movie role.
 
Others in the cast include Helena Bonham Carter as child psychiatrist Julia Hoffman. Carolyn is played by Chloe Grace Moretz while Jackie Earle Haley is the family’s hired helper.
 
Add Danny Elfman‘s bewitching score and The Moody Blues‘ "Nights In White Satin" and you’ve got a DARK SHADOWS whose main character’s curse is finally broken. But not before a battle of werewolves, witches and vampires.
 
The reinvention raises 3-1/2 out of 5 foreboding fingers.
 
JACK GOES TO THE MOVIES Friday mornings at 6:40 a.m. on NewsRadio KMBZ Am & Fm and anytime on Time-Warner Cable’s K.C. ON DEMAND, Channel 411.

Posted in Jack_Poessiger | Tagged | 1 Comment

Hearne: The Gloves Are Coming Off for Next Year’s ‘420 Day’ Bash in Westport

Posted on May 10, 2012 by admin

Westport sparkplug Bill Nigro learned a very important lesson last month…

That when it comes to pot smoking, you can’t be just a little bit pregnant. If you’re going to localize and promote an annual celebration like 420 Day – the day that honors all things marijuana – you’ve got to be all in.

No pussyfooting around.

Not that Nigro’s faint-hearted first off 420 Day blowout was a, you know, bust.

"Well, we had 1,200 paying people and we had another 200 comps," Nigro says. "But I just thought it would be busier."

And well it might have been, had Niro not chickened out in promoting the event with weak-wristed quotes like, "Well, we’re not calling it 420 Day. Our event’s called the Westport Smokeout and we’re going to do some fun things."

See what I mean?

Fortunately, Nigro learned his lesson and next year’s 420 Day blowout will be a no-holds-barred, balls-to-the-wall affair – a full-blown celebration of p-o-t. No more mincing of words. No more apologies to the powers that be. The full, pure, unadultrated spirit of smoking marijuana will be right up front in anybody’s face who cares (or dares) to attend.

"Next time, we’re going to embrace it," Nigro says. "This time we kinda did it with smoke and mirrors. We downplayed the whole 420 thing. All the bars that were involved were kind of afraid of going too public with it. I think we had to just do that first one to kinda just show everybody there wasn’t anything to be over-worried about."

So mark it down potheads, April 20, 2013 – be there or be square – 420 Day in Westport, the 2nd Coming.

All of that said, far be it from Nigro to suggest (wink) that anybody come-a-tokin to the big smokeout.

"It’s really more of a recognition of what’s going on in the United States with marijuana," Nigro hedges. "It really should be a controlled substance and instead it’s the modern prohibition. And I think it’s going to be a runnaway train across the United States to legalize it. A lot of states that have medicinalized it have realized that they don’t have to condone letting it be a black market anymore. And that they can profit from the tax revenues."

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 11 Comments

Starbeams: The Top Five Signs You’re at a Chinese (AMC) Movie Theater

Posted on May 9, 2012 by admin

Kansas City based AMC Theatres may be sold to a Chinese company.  AMC recently broke ground on its new headquarters at 117th and Nall.  However, if they’re going to be based in China, they’ll need to keep digging for some time.

THE TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU’RE AT A CHINESE BASED MOVIE THEATER:

#5. Romantic comedies involve someone getting kicked.

#4. You can save the popcorn bowl for a hair cut.

#3. Instead of popcorn, you get itty bitty ears of corn.

#2. All the movies are about engineering and math.

#1. One ticket admits you and a dozen in-laws.

Kelly Urich is the morning show host on The Point 99.7 FM

 

Posted in Starbeams | Tagged | 4 Comments

Sounds Good: Spring into Summer@Replay, Delbert McClinton@Knuckleheads, Tennis@RecordBar, Truckstop Honeymoon@Barnyard

Posted on May 9, 2012 by admin

All my picks this week are on Saturday, so you’ve got some touch choices to make…

Plus there’s a Sporting KC game Saturday at 7:30.  The boys in blue are away at rival Chicago, so if you can’t park it in front of the tube at 7:30, make sure to set the old DVR. 

In other concert news: the much anticipated James Morrison concert that was scheduled for the Granada tonight has unfortunately been cancelled.  I believe Mr. Morrison will be hitting up Jay Leno tonight instead.  His loss, right?

On to the picks!

Saturday, May 12th

Spring into Summer featuring Hearts of Darkness, Fourth of July, Up the Academy, Mouthbreathers and more! @ the Replay in Lawrence.

This should be a cool day of music, starting at 4:00 pm outside on 10th Street right next to the Replay.  And it’s only $5!!

Expect to see some drunken ass scenesters purposely wearing tank tops as the likes of Fourth of July pumps out their catchy indie folk pop and shows off some of their new tunes from their much anticipated new album.  Closing down the outside stage is KC’s HOD, which brings the party with them everywhere they go.

Then at 10:00 p.m. the bash moves inside, for Dry Bonnet, Mouthbreathers and a few other garage-trash rock bands to close out the night.

Delbert McClinton @ Knuckleheads in KC

 You probably know that Delbert McClinton grew up in Texas, played with legends like Howlin’ Wolf, Lightnin’ Hopkins and Jimmy Reed.  You also probably know about the Grammy Award he scored with his duet with Bonnie Raitt.  And you might even know that McCLinton’s latest album, 2009’s Acquired Taste, hit #1 on the Billboard Blues chart.

But did you also know he sang the opening song from Groundhog Day?

Yeah, the weatherman song.  Weird, right?  And that he’s in the business of taking old people on Caribbean cruises with a bunch of other old musicians who play shows for a week while the boomers sip on fruity drinks and do god knows what else?  I bet those cruises get freaky.  Seriously.
 

Tennis @ the RecordBar in KC

What if I toldyou that this cuter-than-cute, husband-wife duo come to town with a new record that came out a month or two ago called Young & Old…nothing?… Well what if I told you it was produced by Patrick Carney?  Still nothing?… Well what if I told you that Patrick Carney makes up one half of the Black Keys?  Ah…

That’s what I thought.

Truckstop Honeymoon @ the Barnyard in Lawrence

After being washed out of NOLA post Katrina this duo found Lawrence as a new home.  Since arriving several years ago, the banjo pluckin’ Mike West and stand up slappin’ Katie Euliss have become a mainstay of the local music scene, combining their funny and poignant lyrics of white trash dirt merchantry with gritty porch music.  Put it all together and you’ve got a bluegrass-y, booze-y, filthy good time.

 

Posted in Entertainment | Tagged | 13 Comments

New Jack City: AMC Theatres Selling Out to China?

Posted on May 8, 2012 by admin

The New York Times is reporting that one of China’s most prominent theater operators may have its eyes set on Kansas City based AMC ENTERTAINMENT.

The newspaper claims that according to sources briefed on the discussions, that China’s WANDA GROUP is in talks to buy part or all of AMC.
 
The WANDA GROUP is a Chinese conglomerate whose portfolio includes commercial properties, luxury hotels, department stores, film production and distribution. It also operate a movie theater circuit of 730 screens in 68 multiplex locations that account for about 15% of China’s fast-growing movie ticket sales. WANDA is also one of IMAX’s major Asian customers with 47 of the large screen installations presently throughout its Chinese circuit.
 
If the speculated upon deal occurs it would give WANDA a commanding presence in the world’s two largest movie markets—namely China and the United States where AMC is this nation’s second largest theater circuit after REGAL ENTERTAINMENT.

AMC presently operates about 350 theatre complexes with approximately 5,050 screens and remains headquartered in Kansas City, Missouri but is relocating to Leawood, Kansas where construction of its new headquarter is currently under way.

Stay tuned…

Posted in Jack_Poessiger | Tagged | 3 Comments

Hearne: KU Students Fly Down Mountain, Through Fire & Into Potter Lake

Posted on May 8, 2012 by admin

Good, clean fun alert…

Slot this one atop on your "Don’t try this at home"  to-do list. From the Lawrence Journal World‘s Andy Hyland comes the followingg newsworthy nugget from the bucket list of Totally Ridiculous Things College Kids Do.

Perhaps you’ll recognize it from your young adulthood past.

"While walking on campus on Friday, I happened on one of those little moments that ensures that walking around a college campus is never dull," Hyland begins.

"A small group of students had come up with an inventive way to celebrate Stop Day. Namely, they were taking bikes up to the very top of the hill near Memorial Drive, and then were riding them down the hill to a ramp, and then jumping into Potter Lake."

For the uninitiated, that’s some serious downhill, cross country sledding.

"Oh, and also, they were using lighter fluid to light the ramp on fire," Hyland adds. "A good way to get a reporter’s attention is to set something on fire and then use it to leap into Potter Lake."

Turns out the "event" if you will is called Ramp Day and has been going down for some six years, according to a KU student Hyland interviewed.

Turns out the KU jackasses are Christian types into "responsible fun," and at one point included former KU basketball player Christian Moody.

"At first, the group had ‘Float Day’ where they all used floatation devices to swim in Potter Lake," Hyland writes. "And wasn’t that gross, especially before the lake was dredged?"

"Super gross," the kids shot back.

But even the harrowing bike banzai ride got a little "too boring" until the fire element was later added.

Hey, in the world of good clean fun it beats the heck out of binge drinking and fraternity hazing

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 9 Comments

Glazer: Kansas City Royals Fans are the World’s Biggest Suckers!

Posted on May 8, 2012 by admin

Kansas City Royals fans just love their Royals…

And why not? We’re going to games this season in near record numbers. Thats right, last year at this time the Royals had drawn 248,000 fans. This year over the same time period, 329,000 fans. And the way, with the same number of games, 15. So we’re ahead of last year by 80,000 fans or almost two Chiefs games. Wow.

Which tells David Glass this: Go ahead and lose, we got nothing better to do. We will still come in droves to watch one of baseball’s all-time worst franchises.

That’s the truth, too!

Only one team in the league has a worse record than the Royals, the Minnesota Twins. They’re in our division by the way. And in all of baseball only one other team has but nine wins, San Diego.

The Royals have played only 28 games, but already are 10 games under .500. That’s not easy to do folks.

The Royals – who many of us thought would be a scoring machine – were supposed to be second only to Texas in hitting and home runs. Right. And let’s not even talk about pitching. OK, let’s do. Luke Hochevar, our No. One draft pick six years ago, has an ERA above 7.00 this season. The good news is his lifetime record ERA is only 5.46, which is still one of the five worst in 100 years of baseball (for a starter with over 100 starts).

More good news – we also have Kyle Davies as one of the top five worst in baseball history. Nice. Yep, we sure can say our farm system is coming up aces, huh?

Not to worry, we have several young position players who can hit the hell out of the ball, especially Eric Hosmer.

But Eric has one of the worst batting averages in baseball for a starter at .179. He managed to go 0 for 4 last night at home against Boston, who beat us 11 to 5. Our other ace, Johnathan Sanchez failed to record one out in the fourth before being yanked. His ERA stands at 6.75. Nice.

Back to the hitters, no starter that matters is hitting over .288 except Mike Moustakas at a meaningless .313.

Oh, they tell us the Royals have the fourth best batting average in the American League. Really? Maybe that’s why we never seem to score more than 3-5 runs in any game. I thought this team would have tons of 9-8 and 11-7 victories. Why?  The vaunted hitting attack. But I guess not.

Hey, I bought into this year’s Royals like many of you guys.

I even told you I bet a few bucks in Vegas on the over at 78 1/2 games. Meaning the Royals would win at least 79. Now it looks like losing less than 100 would be just swell.

However none of this matters.

Our fans love the Royals. We enjoy the nice stadium, and it’s very family friendly.

They sure spruced that puppy up, huh? Who cares if we watch our team win or lose? It’s summer, it’s fun.

Here’s something for David Glass to consider; buy the T-Bones for a few bucks, sell off the pretender Royals, drop the ticket prices a bit and BANG – move the Bones into Royals Stadium and start printing money, baby!

We don’t care. We just love our baseball. We love anything in pro sports at Arrowhead and Kauffman. Why? Because only our parents and grandparents remember George Brett and Len Dawson. The guys who used to actually win like 40 years ago.

It’s summer and losing most of our games is fun!

Lets buy some tickets for the Cleveland series. That’s going to be so cool. What a blast.

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 33 Comments