New Jack City: What’s In The Cards For AMC Entertainment Kansas City’s Heritage Company?

Sometimes these international buyouts of U.S. companies don’t quite go as expected…

Different customs and practices by the foreign buyer can bring eventual frustration and downright bitterness to the company being bought out. Remember Daimler-Benz and Chrysler?
 
Current American management may feel that they’re still in charge, but often times they’re really not. And that can be a hard pill to swallow.
 
Think I’m kidding?
 
Back in 1987 I was part of the management team of the now defunct Commonwealth Theatres, Inc. which was headquartered on film row in Kansas City. I was Commonwealth’s Director of Advertising, Publicity and Public Relations and we operated nearly 500 screens in more than a dozen states, many of which were twins, triplexes and fourplexes with about 100 were Drive-Ins.
 
In the greater Kansas City area we had, among others, the Ranch Mart, Bannister Mall, Metcalf, Antioch, Valley View, Trailridge and Crest and Riverside drive-Ins. Plus surrounding area theaters in Lawrence, Manhattan, Warrensburg, Junction City, Emporia, Sedalia, Clinton and Chillicothe.
 
Commonwealth, after a brief stint as a publicly traded company, had turned private again. But as these things sometimes go, current ownership wanted out and in 1987 found a buyer.
 
A foreign buyer.
 
It was THE CANNON GROUP, a film production company in Israel that had established a foothold in the U.S. with generally low-budget exploitation movies.

Its leaders, Menahem Golan and Yorum Globus, were known in the trade as "The Go-Go Boys."
Their plan was to expand Commonwealth to over 1,500 screens and accomplish it in a very short time frame.
 
I’ll never forget it.
 
Instead of holding our next annual managers meeting in Kansas City, Denver or Albuquerque, our new owners opted for Tel Aviv. I was to get the ball rolling, make the convention, flight and hotel arrangements and pretty much oversee the conclave.

To say I was overwhelmed is an understatement.
 
It never came off.
 
Cannon had overextended itself and six months later we had an Israel overseer placed in our K.C. office who first slashed jobs, then dramatically cut expenses. And we felt like we had to account for practically every box of paper clips.

In short, their traditional way of doing things sure didn’t match ours.

Commonwealth’s upper management here became mere puppets. It was a sad situation—and one that didn’t last much longer—as Cannon unloaded us to the United Artists circuit which eventually sold us off on a market by market basis.

By the time it was all over our home office staff of about 250 had shrunk to just 2-1/2 persons. Two full time and one part timer. I was among those last 2-1/2 souls.
 
So when I hear about China’s DALIAN WANDA GROUP buying out Apollo Investment, J.P. Morgan Partners, Bain Capital Investors, the Carlyle Group and Spectrum Equity Investors’ stake in AMC  ENTERTAINMENT, I flash back to our buyout days and what eventually became of it.
 
Foreign ownership means different customs, traditions and and perceptions of business practices. It can make for unforeseen circumstances.
 
Today’s USA TODAY reporting on the deal from Beijing writes that Wang Jianlin, Chairman and President of Wanda, is "a Communist Party member who sits on his nation’s top advisory council."

USA TODAY also reports that the movie business there reflects the central contradictions of modern China, where the film world’s standard glamor and deal making must accommodate a ruling Communist Party that tightly controls what its citizens can watch. And that, "Beijing is investing heavily in projecting its ‘Soft Power,’ or cultural influence by boosting the Chinese state media’s presence abroad, including the USA, where the Chinese government has also run advertisements in New York’s Times Square."
 
AMC has a rich heritage and is a great motion picture exhibition company.

It’s expertise, knowledge and understanding of the business combined with Wanda’s desire to rapidly expand should make it the world’s top theater circuit.

And I wish them all the best under their new ‘East meets West’ company integration.

Posted in Jack_Poessiger | Tagged | 10 Comments

Glazer: Scribe says, ‘It’s a Gay, Gay, Gay, Gay World!’

It’s a Gay, Gay, Crazy, Mad World out there today…

With films like THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATOO, playing up lesbian sex with the star as example, you bet it is!  Now comes the not-exactly-a-shocker story on John Travolta. Yes, they are coming out of the woodwork to tell the "He offered me money to have sex" stories.

Are they true? It would seem to be the case.

Hollywood has always had its Gay Mafia.

Many – and likely most – of the men and woman in the arts have had same sex moments. Not me, of course.  But it’s all too common.

So why the buzz on John?

The media came out on him long ago. He even went into hiding in the 90’s for a few years to let the rumors die down. Remember? Then he did a couple family films, "Look Who’s Talking" and followed with "Pulp Fiction," his big comeback movie.

He was really just the same as always. He’s maybe a bit heavier and with a hairpiece now. Hey, the guy has been a huge star for 40 years, clearly the public didn’t care if he was gay or bi.  When we did Champions Forever, our writer and co producer was hanging with John. We couldn’t figure out why until the rumors surfaced, and we went, "Oh, I see." 

Our guy was a very well built gym rat, blonde and well, you can figure it out.

John even put our boy into a couple films like "Perfect." Maybe I should have hung out with John? Nah. By the way, they never invited the rest of our staff to go with them for even a drink. Hey, that’s Hollywood.

When I got there in 1982, the big story was Tom Cruise.

He was ratted out by some ‘friends’ on the set of THE OUTSIDERS. Based on his marriages, or pretend ones, his lifestyle is clear. Yet we put this to the side when we go see his films. I like his work very much, gay or not. I mean did he even go out with Penelope Cruz? Letterman asked if she even ever met him when they were "a couple" at the time. Most insiders felt it was fake. It clearly was just a career move for Miss Cruz. And it worked.

From Rock Hudson to Randolph Scott, the stories never stopped.

Almost all were true. Even my hero Errol Flynn said, "Why Deprive the other half?"  WTF!

Hey I am a wild guy, but I just don’t have that wheel. You either do or you don’t. 

I think by now we all know that most young ladies today will check out the bi-world.

I don’t know hardly any women who haven’t. That is, in today’s world. It’s common, maybe too common. I feel it’s a big reason many marriages don’t work anymore. Now that women have wanderlust for "other women"

Damn.

My nephew Jake is a junior at Shawnee Mission East and he told me, "Uncle Craig, it’s the rage…this bisexual thing in high school. It’s like the bad boys of the 80’s were Rockers, now they are bi!"

Of course, Jake is not at all interested. Yes, most kids are not buying in, but many are. The media has made it seem not only O.K. but cool. Look at our sports stars, how many of our local guys from George Brett to Nick Lowery have had the finger pointed their way with gay’ stories. George had Jeff Flanagan of the KC Star print a story saying, "Hey, I’m Not Gay!"

Remember that one?

The world is changing and I’m not sure if it’s for the better.

Now make sure you check your Facebook!

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 13 Comments

Hearne: Jack Searches the Heavens for Rationale for AMC Sale to Chinese

What to think of the deal by Chinese company Wanda to buy local movie giant AMC?

Well for starters, that nothing is sacred in the world of high finance and international business. As promised – but not reported locally until recently by KCC – Wanda president Wang Jianlin had boasted in a speech last year that "his company would ‘shock the world’ with an acquisition to be made within the year."

Well, it certainly did come as a shock to Kansas City that one of its prized corporate possessions would no longer be under local (or domestic) ownership and control. After all, AMC employs about 18,500 staffers and owns 346 theaters.

And while undoubtedly the Chinese will want things to remain intact where AMC’s domestic and international business is concerned, it does make one wonder how much longer those two and three connection international flights to the Cowtown will make sense to Wanda execs. Especially given that Kansas City is hardly an entertainment hub.

So we’ll see.

Meanwhile, inquiring minds locally want to know what venerable movie guy Jack Poessiger thinks of the deal. Is he in shock or anything?

"No, not really," Poessiger says."There’s nothing really new that we didn’t speculate on a week ago. The NYC money guys finally got their payday and there’s apparently some money left to put into the company as well.
Stan Durwood‘s probably up there—or at least I THINK he’s up there—high-fiving  St. Mayer, St. Warner, St. Zanuck–and St. Peter."

Maybe.

Or perhaps he’s wondering why AMC wasn’t the one embarking on the theater buying shopping spree in China instead of the company he founded’s money lenders cashing in on their big movie bet.

Oh, and one more thing…

"There’s absolutely no truth to the apparent rumors that AMC management will have to be carrying Chairman Mao‘s little red book with them at all times," Poessiger cracks.

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 2 Comments

Starbeams: With AMC You Get Egg Rolls, Facebook Founder Pokes & Battleship Missouri to Rescue

Long-time Kansas City owned AMC Theaters has been bought by a Chinese company, but the chain will remain based in Leawood.  Former CEO and creator of the megaplex, Stan Durwood, is undoubtedly egg-rolling in his grave.

*******

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg updated his status to "married" on Saturday to Priscilla Chan, a California med student.  It was the first time since my wedding in 1999 where the vows included the word "poke."

*******

The movie "Battleship" made $25.3 million in its opening weekend with the battleship USS Missouri representing the Show-Me state quite well.  It’s the ship that was used to deliver meth to the sailors.

Kelly Urich hosts the morning show on The Point 99.7 FM

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Donnelly: Complacent Sporting Team “Satisfied” With Draw on the Road

 

After starting off the season 7-0, Sporting KC hit a rough patch.  A month-long rough patch…  

The boys in blue have not won a game since April 18th, and have struggled to replicate the form they showed early on.

Over the weekend at Colorado KC had a golden opportunity to earn 3 points after heading into the locker room up 2-0 thanks to Teal Bunbury’s first half brace.  But Colorado notched two goals of their own in the second half and the game ended in a draw.   

“I don’t know if there was a certain point in the game where it really turned,” wondered Bunbury, “but I feel like we took our foot off the pedal a little bit after those two goals when I feel like we should have kept pressing them a little more.”

Yes, KC took their foot off the pedal.  But why?

Haven’t we learned by now that those crazy comebacks happen when a team gets a little too complacent with its lead and just tries to run the clock out?  Haven’t we learned that you’ve got to keep attacking?  Apparently not.

"We’re satisfied with the point," continued Bunbury.  "Obviously we wanted to win, but a point away from home is good."

No it’s not. 

Not when you’re up 2-0 at halftime it’s not.  Not when you are admitting in post-game interviews that, "We took our foot off the pedal."  It’s just not. 

"What we didn’t want to do was sit back and just bunker in," said KC boss Peter Vermes.  "But obviously we knew that they were going to come, they were going to come with everything they had. I thought for a little while there we were a little bit too deep."

So, the thing that KC "obviously" didn’t want to do was precisely what they did.  Right after they came out of the locker room.  Up 2-0.  Where is the disconnect, can someone please explain it to me?

And is anyone else getting a strong whiff of deja vu?  This is precisely the type of mistake that KC was prone to make last season, prompting me to write the now-infamous headline: Why Won’t Vermes Stay Aggressive Late?  SKC Crushed (Again) in Last Second Defeat.

Remember?  (C’mon, humor me).

Something is simply not clicking, and the team that looked so dangerous a few games back, that looked like it had learned how to COMPETE, is nowhere to be found right now. 

Captain Jimmy Nielsen was pretty blunt.  "I don’t know if we were too satisfied but we dropped too much and we stopped playing," Nielsen.  "And actually we didn’t start really playing until they tied the game."

Ouch. 

Obviously, something’s got to change to get Sporting back playing quality soccer.  Whether that’s personnel, mentality, or a bit of both I’m not sure. 

Remember, just a few short weeks ago KC was being called the best team in MLS, not just by reactionary media types, but by opposing players and coaches who know what the hell they’re talking about. 

Posted in Sporting_Kansas_City | Tagged | 2 Comments

Hearne: Star Asleep at the Wheel While KCTV Breaks Boffo Local News

Look, I’m in Mexico, so I couldn’t be much more out of it but…

Looking at the morning news on kansascity.com, the Kansas City Star Web site, a couple of things jump out.

Funny, lame kinda things.

Because since forever local television news has been newspaper’s enemy. For obvious reasons. The main one being that – first and foremost – everybody in the news game wants (and treasures) the scoop. That’s just the way it is. Including local radio personalities who want to be first to "break" the news whatever it may be.

Even local bloggers who seldom-to-never sully their hands at doing even the most basic reporting relish laying claims to silly things like "TKC Exclusives."

So yeah, the going can get pretty goofy but the basic, underlying deal is news is news and first is foremost.

Which brings us to a pair of "front page" stories on the Star‘s Web site this morning. Both of which were bread-and-butter basic news that should have been reported – if not first – at least by the newspaper. Instead they were both creditied to the Star‘s local TV "reporting partner" KCTV, Channel 5. A news organization I might add, that is but a tiny fraction the size of the Star‘s.

Worse yet, both stories were easy "gets" that the Star could and should have reported on its own. And by the time you red this post it probably will have.

The first was that KC Mayor Sly James son was arrested (again) more than a week ago for disorderly conduct in Wyandotte County.  How could they miss that one?

The other "scoop" was even lamer.

The Associated Press reported that local movie giant AMC had been bought by the Chinese for $2.6 billion.

Yet, there KCTV’s screen shot is reporting the news on the Star’s main page. Weird.

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 4 Comments

Katie: Daughtry Delivers (Family Style) at Midland by AMC

Daughtry is one of those people who didn’t win American Idol but is actually doing way better than many of the people who did win. 

Which is, you know, kinda awesome.

Hey, he’s a super-talented guy and his vocals we’re spot on last night at the Midland by AMC. Which makes me wonder; why didn’t he win? The show wasn’t sold out unfortunately and most of the audience was – to my surprise – an older crowd. Even people were there with their small children. Not exactly a good sign hipness-wise.

In other words it was a very relaxing setting that I’m definately not used to at a live concert. None the less, you can tell Daughtry’s a really down-to-earth dude and he put on a great show for his fans in Kansas City.

Words and photographs by Katie Grogan

Posted in Entertainment | Tagged | 7 Comments

New Jack City: The Legacy of Former Mayor Kay Barnes Killer KC Car Rental Taxes

Everything’s UP to date in Kansas City—Missouri that is…

Especially when it comes to the renting of a car. K.C.’s total car rental costs exceed those of major cities like Washington, D.C., Phoenix, Philadelphia, Minneapolis, Charlotte, Atlanta, Denver, Dallas—even Los Angeles.
 
According to the annual national "Per Diem" survey of the nation’s top 100 markets conducted by BUSINESS TRAVEL NEWS, K.C. ranks as the ninth most expensive city in the U.S. to rent a car. St. Louis by comparison comes in at # 56.

As one would expect New York City has the highest car rental costs averaging at $62.11 per day plus 33% tax for a daily total of $ 82.88.

By comparison Kansas City’s average daily base rental is just $39.57. However with our average car rental tax being a whopping 44%, the average daily total for visitors to our fair city is $56.82 per day.

And that my friend makes our car rental taxes among the highest in the nation— tied only by Boston.
 
Why so high?
 
Think back to a handful of years ago when former KC Mayor Kay Barnes and her advisor Steve Glorioso were trying to find ways to subsidize the Sprint Center for concert promoter AEG and conveniently tagged the tax burden to car rentals. 

After all, it’s primarily visitors to Kansas City who are getting fleeced, right?

St. Louis-based Enterprise Car Rental fought it at the time, but to no avail.
 
So it is what it is.
 
Of course, locals living on the Missouri side needing to rent a car have long since figured out they were getting screwed too. So they simply hit the Kansas side of the state line where renting a car comes at much more reasonable prices thanks to the lower taxes. Thus costing KCMO rental car taxes they otherwise might have gotten.
 
Fortunately in the greater scheme of things—including the cost of a hotel room, food and car—K.C. does much better by coming in at # 40 in the nation, or a total per diem of $283.00.

That compares to the # 1, New York City per diem of $536.96, Washington, D.C. at $462.62, Boston at $415.39, Chicago at $374.05, Las Vegas at $301.34, Atlanta at $297.25—but still ahead of St. Louis which sports a per diem of $282.61.

Go figure.

Posted in Jack_Poessiger | Tagged | 7 Comments

Hearne: Down (But Not Out) in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

With all due respect, it’s not every day I take Craig‘s advice…

Yet as many of you were preparing to party this weekend I was emerged in a great escape to the country many Republicans want to fence out, Mexico.

That’s right, the land where I bought my first switchblade knife as a teenager after playing underage, cool guy in Nogales by going into a bar and ordering a Carta Blanca. Maybe drank like half of it or less, but it was the thought that counted.

This time out my Mexican destination of choice is Cabo. And while I won’t be bringing back any illegal cutlery, there’s all sorts of other ways to go wrong in the land down under. Like getting murdered or ransomed for vast sums to the good readers of KC Confidential. I doubt the Star would bail me at this point (although they and the Pitch would doubtless have fun covering the story).

However all of that’s highly unlikely, right?

And unlike Craig’s Puerto Rican wilding, my short trip is unlikely to involve any bimbo eruptions or dirty dancing.

I can and will pass along a few Jack Poessiger-like travel advice and observations.

For example I have a pair of warnings to pass along where travel in and out of KCI Airport is concerned.

First and foremost, whatever you do, do not be late for your 5:50 a.m. flight.

See, I’m an expert at being late for pretty much everything as most people who know me can attest to. It’s what I do.

Let me tell you though, it’s a long, lonely drive from KCI back to Prairie Village after you learn they’ve given away your seat to some other loser and you’ve ot eight hours to kill before the next flight. And it’s not even 6 a.m.

But all is well that eventually ends halfway well and less than eight hours later I was on my way to rubbing elbows with drug lords and cigarette-mooching Mexican police. Plus it was a "free" trip, so…

What wasn’t free that I suggest that you studiously avoid if you find yourself stranded and hungry at KCI is the Quinzos Sub station.

It’s one thing to get ripped off for a pair of small subs, a single, small drink and bag of chips for well over 20 bone. Quite another to try and choke down a turkey on whole wheat with mustard and veggies that can only be described as nasty.

For those with a low tolerance for slow news days, I’ll refrain from recounting the details, just heed my advice.

As for Cabo, it’s early and I have no true braking news outside of just having edited the story about Craig dirty dancing on his vaca. Other than maybe plug the Playa Grande resort if you’re looking for someplace tranquil, halfway affordable and fun within very close range of a party and shopping zone.

With excellent dining options that don’t entail getting wildly sick like the time I richocheted in and out of the Acapulco resort Las Brisas several years back.

I will say this, getting WIFI and on the Internet down here totally sucks. Hence the paucity of my postings. I’ll try to do better.

Posted in Hearne_Christopher | Tagged | 11 Comments

Glazer: Scribe Gets Out His Baseball Bat and Goes After Hip-Hop & Rap

Are you like me?

Do you blame RAP and HIP HOP for the death of music to a large degree? I sure do. Call it racist – I don’t care – I’m a realist. There’s no talent – OK, almost none – yet we pretend there is when for the larger part THERE ISN’T.
 
I’m still in Puerto Rico. And after a long day of jet skiing, beach, partying and even dancing (I actually did some pretty decent dirty dancing), my girlfriend Jessie and I went to the room later and watched late night TV with Jimmy Fallen. Or was it, Last Call with the very talented Carson Daly. He’s talented, funny, sharp, my kind of guy.

Kidding.

In truth, it’s a race between him and Fallen for who has the least talent among the white guy, late night hosts. Add in Ryan Seacrest. Man, I wish I had their dough – I guess this gad guy thing only works in KC, huh?
 
So we’re watching the next big thing in RAP, HIP HOP from Carson right and it’s Jay Rock.

He’s a black, thugged-out rapper with ZERO TALENT. My dog Junior is a better singer. For real. The lyrics? Try bitch, gun, dope, my life sucks – what a genius! I wanted to get a large baseball bat and smash this guy in the face. STOP IT, for Christ Sake.

White people try and pretend like it’s, "Well, you have to listen to the words. See, it’s their life. It’s meaningful. You can’t just listen." 

How about see this; IT SUCKS. Always did. ALL OF IT. LET ME REPEAT, ALL OF IT. AND YOU TOO,SNOOP.

"Murder was the case that they gave me" – yeah what a talent. I miss Whitney Houston. She could sing.
 
I actually think Rap and Hip Hop more than Disco in the 70’s, killed rock.

Radio and records, cds, downloads – whatever – have never been the same. Of course the Internet insured the death of most commercially-recorded music. And I totally hate to admit it, but Country is likely today’s best avenue for great vocals and lyrics. WOW. It’s come to that!

I was always into the "talent" of music. The voice, the style. Voices like Sinatra, Houston or Streisand. And rockers like Led Zepplin and all the pretenders that came after them. But HIP HOP? Hey, I owned the top HIP HOP club in town and it was packed all the time. But I seldom went into the club because I hated the music.

"Back that ass up" was a sure-fire, top, greatest rap/hip hop hits album of all time.
 
Does that hurt the black man’s image with whites and thinking class people in general?

Uh, about a million percent it does.

Do young white girls really like that sound? That’s a tough one. I guess many do, but I feel it’s more like follow the leader time. Deep down, the answer is no!

I kid you not, give me a mic and some background music and without even writing a song, I can free style this talentless crap with my raspy voice.

Bet you can too. When will it die? Please.

Posted in Craig_Glazer | Tagged | 12 Comments

Leftridge: TV time: Kill These Shows, Please

Television is a strange industry. For every successful, acclaimed run of a Mad About You, viewers will be forever forced to live with the emotional scarring that occurs after a two-episode hiccup like The Paul Reiser Show. (and this is nothing compared to what it means for someone like Reiser himself, or his agent, for that matter). Some shows– underappreciated by the suits who dictate decisions—are gone too soon, the victim of poor time-slotting and/or marketing (see: Arrested Development, Freaks and Geeks). Others hang on languidly, somehow avoiding the executioner’s axe long after the head should have been firmly in the basket.

The latter efforts—unwieldy beasts of resplendent horror—far outweigh the noble efforts that met with a premature demise. To me, they’re more interesting simply because THEY CANNOT BE KILLED. Like some child’s imagining of a super-robot-dragon, they keep coming back, no matter how many rocket-laser-grenades they’re peppered with. They are the Freddy or Jason of small-screen entertainment. Somebody somewhere likes them, by golly, and despite precipitously declining ratings, they’ve found a way to survive. 

So as the memorable 2011-2012 season draws to a close (somebody scream Whitney!), and with the 2012 Fall upfronts slowly fading in the rearview (FOX’s The Mindy Project, starring writer/actress Mindy Kaling from The Office looks to be the biggest winner), I thought we’d take a look at shows that, while returning this Fall, deserve to be Old Yeller’d. So avert your gaze like you’re in a geriatric hospital for those with leprosy—these shows have gotten ugly.
 

The Office (NBC):

The Office has been bad for an obnoxiously long amount of time now. In fact, it’s venturing into territory unceremonious and dubious by distinction: it will soon have as many bad seasons as it did good. This season was particularly disturbing in its lack of worth. Andy (the once brilliant Ed Helms) took over as manager after the departure of Michael Scott (Steve Carrell), causing a million collective frowns, then a bunch of yawns. We were formally, fully introduced to new CEO Robert California (James Spader) a confusing, skeletal character who added nothing but took up plenty of our time in return. Jim (John Krasinski) and Pam (Jenna Fischer) remained boring and predictable, a state where they’ve decayed since getting married and having children (true to life, perhaps, but not interesting or funny). Nellie Bertram (Catherine Tate) was back– a potential managerial replacement candidate from the end of the 7th season fuckaroo—and boy was she not worth the wait. Saucy, sassy, and hailing from Merry Olde England, she’s the female Ricky Gervais, everybody! Well… except for that whole part where Gervais—the original Michael Scott, for those who’ve done themselves the disservice of missing the original BBC series—is funny. And witty. And an exceptionally brilliant character.

Elsewhere, Dwight became convinced that Angela had HIS baby instead of her husband’s (the likely gay Senator), gay Oscar spent too much time wondering if Angela’s husband wanted to have gay sex with him, and Darryl, the salty former warehouse worker-cum-executive, pined for a new female warehouse worker named Val.

Viewers, meanwhile, looked up from the glow of their iPad, went, “hmm,” and went back to wondering why they chose to draw “Michael Keaton,” on Draw Something. (hint: heavily arched eyebrows)

It’s really hard to say when The Office went off the track. To be fair, it was a steady decline. With each passing season, the characters went from real human beings who we rooted for—Pam and Jim’s early stage-flirtations were thoroughly engrossing—to the weirdest cartoons imaginable.

Michael got herpes from a married woman.

Kathy Bates showed up with two gigantic dogs.

Gabe—whatever his position is—had a Glee viewing party.

Will Ferrell—initially hired as Michael’s replacement (whoa—remember that?)—briefly flitted through a few episodes before injuring himself in a warehouse mishap.

No relationships worth caring about were built, those that previously existed or carried on weren’t worth paying attention to, and slowly, with each passing beet joke, the show that once held so much promise died a very visible death, 22 minutes at a time.

For the sake of all that is holy, this show needs to stop. Now.
 

The Simpsons (FOX):

Believe me, you have NO IDEA how hard it is for me to say this. This is like telling your parents that you no longer love them, or watching your best friend murder a litter of puppies that you had planned on murdering yourself.

For better or worse, as sad as it may be, the Simpsons mean everything to me. They are my closest, dearest friends, my constant companion from the age of eight until question mark, the only thing in my life that has always been there for me. The Simpsons taught me everything I know about everything, really, shaping and determining my personality through thousands and thousands of hours of repeat viewing. Were it possible for man to make love to cartoon, I would have impregnated this program repeatedly, happily. 

I began taping the series with the inaugural post Tracey Ullman Show episode (“Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire”) one glorious night back in 1989, and I’ve never looked back. I filled VHS tape after VHS with season after season, re-watching them until the tracking could no longer be adjusted and the hand-printed label (Simpsons Volume 9! or Simpsons ’98 and some of ’99!) was smudged into an illegible black blur.

I’ve never missed an episode, and I will CRUSH you at Simpsons trivia, I promise.

That’s why this is so hard, and so I guess I’ll come right out and say it: it’s time that we bring it on home, boys.

For several seasons now—like The Office, I won’t bother wasting time trying to pinpoint the exact moment—the Greatest Show of All Time has been in a steady downward spiral. Some point to Season 10 as the pivotal time. Episodes began relying more heavily on celebrity cameos. The show was less character driven, with laughs deriding instead from over-the-top premises and absurd, one-off gags.

To me, this notion seems premature. The show carried on steadily, long after season 10 wrapped. Oh sure, there were no more “Mr. Plow” or “Whacking Day” episodes, and the show lost some of the gritty realism spun from uber-early episodes about adultery, robbery, child abuse, suicide, ARMED robbery and MORE adultery ("Homer’s Night Out," "Some Enchanted Evening," "The Crepes of Wrath," "Homer’s Odyssey," "Krusty Gets Busted" and "Life on the Fast Lane", respectively, all from Season 1), but the show was still the best thing on television for years after many lost faith.

Until recently, that is.

One need look no further than last years’ embarrassments.

The Simpsons parody Inception in an episode where the family attempts to discover the source of Homer’s bed-wetting problem.

The Simpsons parody The Italian Job in an episode where Homer and associates attempt to write a bestselling “tween” novel.

The Simpsons parody The Social Network, when Lisa starts an online social media site in an attempt to become popular.

The thing is, the Simpsons have ALWAYS based episodes off of, or heavily alluded to specific movies, but in the past, they used classically relevant films like Citizen Kane (season five’s “Rosebud”) or The Natural (season three’s “Homer at the Bat”).

A similar decline is apparent with regard to the historical importance of guest stars. The first 300 or so episodes included Michael Jackson, George Harrison, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Buzz Aldrin, Stephen King AND HAWking, Larry King, Tony Blair, Tom Clancy and a million hall-of-fame athletes from various sports.

In recent seasons, however, we’ve seen an entire episode based around the cast of Glee and the two unfunny gents from Flight of the Conchords. Remember those guys? Well, you won’t in another two or three years. Throw in some Katy Perry, Fantasia Barrino, an episode that revolves heavily around Michael Buble, and closing credits played by such luminaries as the Tiger Lillies and Fall Out Boy, and it grows almost maddening. I remember when Apu kidnapped Elton John and forced him to play a song for Manjula; Fuck Blink 182.

I know a lot of this sounds like nitpicking, and I fully admit that it is. I’ve invested 23 years of my life to this glorious bastard, however, and although it’s now entirely too late for it to burn out as opposed to fading away, it can still die a dignified death before it just becomes aggressively disappointing.

PS: Tomorrow’s season finale features Lady Gaga. I rest my case.

Modern Family (ABC):

This inclusion may be a grotesquely unpopular, but lookit—I’ve watched the show from episode one and haven’t missed an installment yet. Both of the first two seasons had moments of greatness peppered with spikes of brilliance, and everything else was solidly above-average. The writing was fresh and funny, everything was tinged with an inherent energy, and almost everyone in the cast—while skewing slightly toward the neurotic—was realistic and likeable.

But then the accolades poured in. Critics swooned and viewers applauded rambunctiously and the whole mess took home a slew of well-deserved awards. Everyone everywhere turned to the person on their left and at the same time, in unison, both said, “do you watch Modern Family?” High-fives, all around.

And then something curious happened: the show seemed to lose its funny somewhere between Claire Dunphy (Julie Bowen) cracking a tooth while running for city council (much funnier when Will Arnett’s “Gob” did it on the previously mentioned Arrested Development, by the way) and the writers’ seemingly endless fascination with the relationship between cousins Manny (Rico Rodriguez) and Luke (Nolan Gould). WE GET IT. LUKE IS GOOFUS TO MANNY’S GALLANT. MOVE ON. (Also: the constant pairing isn’t helped by the fact that—and I’m willing to be called an asshole if necessary—both of these kids are ATROCIOUS actors. It’s seriously PAINFUL to watch them.)

Elsewhere in the super galactic MF galaxy, Cam (local boy Eric Stonestreet) has been turned into a ridiculous caricature of a hillbilly, his boyfriend Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) is unwatchably whiny and their adopted daughter Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons) has grown into an unbridled bitch. Additionally, the super-sexy Gloria (Sofía Vergara) still can’t speak English (AND IT’S STILL HILARIOUS AFTER 8,500 JOKES, EVERYBODY!), Claire’s husband Phil (Ty Burrell) has devolved into some kind of weird, emotional jellyfish and his two daughters are just… there (to be fair, they weren’t ever really that exciting, and it really wouldn’t make sense for them to be, anyway).

The only one in the ensemble who hasn’t been brutally re-imagined as a cartoon, or a pussy, or a bitchy cartoon pussy (or some egalitarian combination of the three) is family patriarch Jay Pritchett (the ever brilliant Ed O’Neill).

Ultimately, the decline falls squarely on the shoulders of the writers. You can assemble the greatest cast of comedic talent since Christopher Guest’s Best in Show, but if you’re feeding them refried shit from the waning years of Growing Painshilarity ensues at a dude ranch!!!—you’re bound to get refried shit in return.

I’m sorry to say, I think the best episodes of this meteoric comedy are behind us.
 

So there we are. Three shows—once brilliant and often groundbreaking—that need to be put out to pasture. Again, I find no pleasure in saying this. I once loved all three (the Simpsons to enough of a disquieting degree that it makes even my WIFE uncomfortable), but I’m a realist. A dying dog is a dying dog, no matter how many hours you once spent frolicking through meadows or smacking him in the brain with poorly thrown Frisbee. When Tippy gets dog-cancer, you’ve got to pitchfork him to death, no mercy style, or perhaps drown him lovingly in a lake at sunset.

It’s important to remember what’s best for Tippy—and the legacy of these programs.
 

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Mancow: How the Hyatt Disaster & Bob Walkenhorst Derailed KC’s Rainmakers

In 1986 "Rockin’ at the T-Dance" by Kansas City’s Rainmakers was forbidden @ my former station Q104 back when it was a hit music station.

The song dared to blame the Hyatt Corporation for the Hyatt Regency Skywalks disaster. Too young to remember? Look it up. It’s a filthy, dark mark in Kansas City history that many "suits" would like the Cowtown to forget.

Shoddy, cheap work lead to a massacre.

My parents lost friends at that Tea Dance while the band played Duke Ellington‘s "Satin Doll" on a hot July evening. It impacted my family & haunted me with nightmares for years .

Why did Q104 ban the Rainmakers song?

They didn’t want to offend a big corporation is what my memory whispers. That big corporation didn’t like that song and its ad agency probably didn’t like it much either. So the ad agency let that be known and that it represented lots of other corporations and lots of other ad dollars.

So it rippled through our frequency.

Give the people what they want? Not hardly!

Mercury Record’s Bill Rusch (one of the people most responsible for ME) fought hard for those Rainmaker boys, but that song was a political hot potato. It tested through the roof with our audiences but still didn’t get significant air time. And it was also at a critical moment in the band’s build to the top.

That song was the first track kicking off the Rainmakers big label debut but it set a tone many powerful Kansas City suits found not to their liking.

They let it be known they didn’t want  these makers of rain (and music) to hit. 

Now here’s a "what if moment." 

What if KC had ACTUALLY backed these local heroes? Jersey backed its Boss. Indy backed it’s Cougar.

It was Kansas City’s big chance and we blew it!

Even now when you watch the Rainmakers live in concert (as I did last year for a 25th anniversary concert at the quirky, wonderful Knuckleheads), you ask yourself " How did the world miss out on this?"

Listen to that song now or "Wages of Sin" or "Another Guitar" and tell me those aren’t hit records!

When I interviewed author Stephen King years ago all he wanted to talk about was The Rainmakers once he found that KC was the origin of my spawning. Music lovers that hear the band fall in love with it. I just wish that more lucky souls had been exposed to them.

Every true Kansas City human coming of age in the Mid-1980’s still has The Rainmakers playing somewhere in the far recesses of their minds.

"Big Fat Blonde" was prophecy. I mean, take a look around.

" No Romance " has the brilliant line: "You’ll see lines not Valentines written all over my face" that echoed through my last Sweetest Day. Ugh.

"Government Cheese" is in my head when I see welfare dollars exchanged for booze or cash for crack. YOUR tax dollars at work . "Decline and fall"….Sure feels like 2012 America to me.

The Worlds end? "Reckoning Day" LIVE it’s just kick ass, old-fashioned rock at first listen. Repeated listens reveal so much more. " I cannot tell a Kennedy from a John Wilkes Booth."

Umph!

"To the Hum" is simply beautiful music. Beautiful? Rainmakers? Yes. Enya would even dig on that track.

"Go Down Swinging" off their latest cd is autobiographical . That’s EXACTLY what they are doing right now.

Is lead singer Bob Walkenhorst bitter? Hard to tell .

He’s always seemed that way to me even going back to the early 1980’s. He’s a surly fellow with an attitude that certainly hasn’t helped the band. He’s also a brilliant lyricist and the lead singer of the best band to ever come out of Missouri, so I have no other choice but to forgive and love him.

I remember hearing about a push from some at their label wanting them to go from Steve, Bob, & Rich (the bands original name) to "The Missouri Mules." They fought and stayed with the  Rainmakers name. Although , as I scour the Internet for band memorabilia sifting through a mess of Burt Lancaster as "The Rainmaker" movie paraphernalia the other name would have been fine. The other name might actually call up the mule mascot I bought for my alma mater CMSU (now known as UCM) a few years ago.

No other band has captured all that is Missouri – its hopes, fears, dreams, isolation, yearning, anger, and divine confusion. A KC soul sounds like them when it cries out to Christ.

The Rainmakers will play Knuckleheads Saloon at 10 pm Saturday and Mancow will be in attendence.

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Starbeams: Gentlemen, Start Your Pinholes, White Flight & Birth of an Egg

Our first solar eclipse this year is late Sunday afternoon. It’s also one of the few times I can look at something through a pinhole in public without getting arrested!

*******

Minorities have now surpassed whites in U.S. births. Does this mean Johnson County residents will call the police if they see me in the neighborhood?

*******

A lady from Kansas City North gave birth Wednesday to the first child in our area born from a frozen egg.  Ironically, he was born sunny side up.  We’re not sure who came first.

 

Kelly Urich hosts the morning show on The Point 99.7 FM

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Whinery: Marilyn Manson Disappoints at Uptown

Don’t know what it is with rock stars who don’t play their hits…

I saw Marilyn Manson last night for probably the 10th time- but only the second show since the late 1990’s. I’d seen him several times on the “Dead to the World” tour –in support of the seminal recording  “Anti -Christ Superstar

Which coincided with the 1996 Presidential Campaign – the second term of Bill Clinton, a “laydown” (sorry sexual metaphors are intrinsically linked to the man) – over the Great Senator from Kansas- Robert J. Dole. Back when America wasn’t perpetually involved in major wars.

I love Bill Clinton as a person, and besides the unjust war on Serbia – he was one of the better “Republican” Presidents we’ve ever had! No one can say the Economy didn’t boom under “Daddy Bill’s” bi- partisanmanship. You know, when there was such a thing. Back when our politicians used to try and get along for the greater good, or whatever loose definition there was.

And Marilyn Manson channeled the silent unrest of those times.

There’s a sub-section of American society that is antiwar & that’s where I always stand!

Any time Humans go to War is a failure. A failure to compromise and try and understand another’s viewpoint- to the point of physical violence is a total failure. And the conflicts of the 90’s laid the foundation for the disastrous wars we are fighting today. And Marilyn’s music spoke to those fed up with the interpersonal strife that humans can”t seem to overcome.

Last night’s Manson show was visibly and acoustically wonderful.

But it left the crowd hanging. Imagine seeing the Rolling Stones and not hearing “Satisfaction or Jumping Jack Flash.” That’s a bloody blasphemy and that’s what happened with Marilyn. The show was no more than 90 minutes. A few years back I saw a 60 year-old man named Bruce Springsteen – with over 20 years of age on Manson – rock Sprint for 3 hours and 20 minutes without a break.

Real Rock Stars play their catalo, the more egocentric play what they want to play.

That’s ONE OF THE REASONS why I bought Van Halen tickets instead of Madonna‘s. Looking over the Van Halen tour’s setlists, they play 24 songs over their entire discography. Whereas Marilyn virtually ignored his first two albums- except for a cheesy Eurythmics cover.

Madonna- or she who birthed Gaga– is also notorious for not playing her hits. There’s a place for the new stuff, but if you are  gonna charge “Big Money”  for a ticket, Give the People What They Want!

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Jack Goes Confidential: ‘Battleship’ Turns Naval Exercise into Oceanic Transformers

The Hasbro toy empire has done well for itself…

To date they’ve brought, among others, TRANSFORMERS and G.I. JOE to the big screen and both franchises were hugely successful.
 
So why quit now?
 
Hasbro’s latest transformation is the overly-long board game, alien invasion spectacle BATTLESHIP.
Think of it as a ‘Transformers’ of sorts on the high seas.
 
"Let’s see if we can buy the world another day!"
 
We first get introduced to the key players in this sci-fi ‘actioner’ during an international summit of Navy vessels in Hawaii. There’s even that first touch of romance between Taylor Kitsch and Brooklyn Decker who just happens to be the Admiral’s (Liam Neeson) daughter.
 
Then it happens. An alien invasion of fire balling propellants smashing into the ocean—then rising to the surface as a squadron of superior alien spaceships. Upon which what at first was a competitive get together of competing naval hardware combines its forces to battle the enemy’s deadly razor balls.
 
"Let’s take these bastards to somewhere they don’t want to go!"
 
But to no avail as one by one the ships are blown up in spectacular fashion.

Now there’s just one vessel left,  the permanently docked U.S.S. Missouri which acts as a living museum. Hell, let’s get the old over-the-hill sailor gang to start her up and move her out and blow those damned invaders to kingdom come!
 
That’s pretty well the story.

But wow, what fireworks! Non-stop blow’em up good explosions. You’d swear this was a Michael Bay film, but it’s not. Peter Berg from FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS and HANCOCK did the directorial honors.
 
BATTLESHIP is pure summer popcorn, action fare with a script and dialogue that’ll have you (unintentionally) chuckling throughout, but made bearable by the well-staged pyrotechnics.
 
"We’re going to die. We’re all going to die—just not today!"
 
None of the key players seem to take themselves too seriously here. And that includes Kitsch, Neeson, Decker, Alexander Skarsgard and Rihanna.
 
Finally, if you can sit for almost 10 minutes of end-credits you’ll be rewarded with a transition scene foreshadowing a possible sequel. But frankly that end stinger isn’t worth your time of suffering through a seemingly endless lists of names.
 
The disaster flick scores 2-1/2 out of 5 ‘E.T. Phone Home’-like fingers and some day could make for a great ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’ roaster.
 

JACK GOES TO THE MOVIES Friday mornings at 6:40 a.m. on NewsRadio KMBZ Am & Fm and anytime on Time-Warner Cable’s K.C. ON DEMAND.

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Donnelly: Taj Mahal @ Knuckleheads, May 16, 2012

Taj Mahal celebrated his 70th birthday onstage Wednesday at Knuckleheads in front of an enthusiastic crowd that packed the patio and upper decks, and filled about half of the inside area.

Even KC mayor Sly James and his crew found their way into the Bottoms to catch the show, drink some beer, and eat a bunch of fried food. Now there’s a platform I can really get behind.

As Taj took the stage he was presented with a huge guitar-shaped cake and serenaded with a spirited rendition of happy birthday.  The storied bluesman seemed to appreciate the gesture, but didn’t say much and quickly launched into the opener, an instrumental jam that displayed his trademark tremolo-soaked, syncopated guitar picking. 

He’s still got it, I thought to myself, even at 70.   

My thought was definitely affirmed during the second song, as Taj unleashed his expressive vocals that never waned even on the long sustained notes.  His two piece backing band settled in nicely behind him, creating a balanced sound that was clear from pretty much everywhere in the venue.   

Indeed, Taj’s voice sounded as strong as ever throughout the show.  He went from gruff growl, to smooth baritone, to a weird little croak in the back of his throat with what seemed like no effort.  He even hit a few falsettos in there right on cue.  

But the big daddy voice is just but one part of his persona.  Throughout the night it was clear that Taj’s age hasn’t lessened his fixation on the fairer sex, on their big legs and butts, and on the unabashed dirty talk.  In one aside during his third song he mentioned putting “WD-40 on your bed springs.” 

And he even demonstrated his motor-boating technique several times for the mostly older (50s and 60s), mostly white crowd.  He made crazy horndog faces and winked at the ladies, who seemed to blush a bit, but also seemed to relish in the naughtiness. 

“You know what keeps you young?” he asked before launching into one of his classics, Corinna.  “Hanging around young ideas.  Be adventurous in your intimacy!”  

But it wasn’t all pillow talk.  The big man showed his versatility as he switched over to the keys for Blues With a Feelin’, a slower tune that fell a little flat and signaled a mass bathroom break.  And he picked up the banjo for a tune or two as well.    

All as he mesmerized the crowd with that sloppy, plucking, perfect guitar style on some of his fans’ favorites like Fishin’ Blues, Lovin’ In My Baby’s Eyes, and Queen Bee.  Of particular note was a short, sweet, mellow instrumental that Taj called Waiting for my Papa to Come Home.  All night long, the backing band of Bill Rich on bass and Kester Smith on the drums was solid, but nothing more.  

Not that they need to be when you’ve got such a huge personality like Taj onstage to soak up the spotlight and lead the party home.

"Are you guys having fun?" he bellowed towards the end of the show.  The audience screamed.  "Well, let’s have some more fun!"

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Mermaid: Pistol Packing Mama Hits the Bullet Hole for Thrills & Chills

I guess my curiosity with guns started when I saw a hot pink Sig Sauer Mosquito. 22 online…

It was a lot meaner than a new pair of shoes but still toted some major bling! I’ve wanted a gun ever since.
This week I got my wish when my boyfriend, David, took me to the Bullet Hole after some extreme begging on my part. We both have family heirloom guns and I thought it would be great to learn how to shoot them. It’s always been on my bucket list and I think in the back of my mind I now wanted to have the personal protection in my home. I wasn’t sure if I’d enjoy the experience or not, but I was pretty excited to try it out…
 
 
Walking in to the Bullet Hole, it was a serious yet friendly atmosphere.

We showed them our guns and they checked them to make sure they were in good working order. Corey, an expert Bullet Hole guide, seemed impressed with my Belgium Browning 9mm. He said he’d never seen one quite like it.

Naturally I was pleased that my gun was getting some respect.

Now if I could just somehow shoot it, maybe I’d gain some as well. It was loud and as I glanced through the glass I could see several well-dressed men shooting who rather obviously appeared to be on their lunch break from work.

I was the only woman in the whole place but I was OK with that because it made it a little more intriguing that I was taking this challenge on. Maybe the women only come on Wednesday – which is Ladies Day at the range.

Corey had us fill out some forms and show our driver’s licenses. He showed us what ammunition we needed and we picked out some targets we liked. After some light instruction on the operation of the guns, we were ready. They gave us eye and ear protection and off we went.

David and I sat down in the observation area and watched for a brief time which was great because my heart was pounding and I needed a minute to take it all in. He’d been there before but this was my first time. I was excited but trying to remember everything I’d been taught so far and was trying to concentrate.

It’s very loud and even though you expect the gunfire, it’s a little unnerving at first.

After watching for awhile we went in to our assigned stall. We hooked our targets up and positioned them about halfway down the lane. You can put them as close or as far as you choose. We then opened our cases and took the guns out and put the ammo in the clips. I decided to start out with the smaller gun- a. 22 German Walther.

David fired first, then it was my turn. After getting my hands right, I fired my first shot. The gun had a little kick to it but was fairly easy to shoot. I forgot the part about the shells falling and hitting the ground around you and sometimes falingl on you.

Now I understood why David looked at me like I was crazy when I said I was going to wear a sundress to the range.

When a hot shell landed down the front of my t-shirt I instantly understood why you have to wear protective clothing.

It’s a little difficult seeing exactly where you shot the target but you can tell when you hit it. Only after you pull the targets back in you can really check out where you hit it. In a short time, I was very comfortable with the gun so we decided to move on to the 9mm.

The ammunition was twice as big and a lot more difficult to load in the clip. I have to admit I was a bit intimidated by this gun. I fired it and it had a lot more kickback than the .22. I fired a clip or two and when I hit the bullseye a few times I was secretly feeling proud of myself and wanted to perfect my aim even more. This was really fun and I could tell I’d be back soon.

What I didn’t expect was that you don’t want to overdo it.

The kickback can really wear your back out so I was relieved when it was David’s turn and I could relax a bit. An hour of shooting is a pretty good start.
 
This is a great sport that women really overlook because they think guns are for men or maybe they feel intimidated by going to a range. I have to say it was really exhilirating and I’ve decided to make it a new hobby.

A membership at the Bullet Hole for a year is only 20 dollars and the ammunition prices aren’t bad either.

The guy’s at the Bullet Hole are really nice and will guide you through the process. The Bullet Hole has been open since 1967. My mother and father shot guns there in the 70’s so it has a lot of nostalgia for me. It was first owned by the Hodgon Co. then was sold to Richard Stovall. The Hodgon Powder Co. resides beside it to this day.

Now a few facts…
 
One in four women own a firearm today and in a Gallup survey 43% of women have at least one in their home with 23% saying it’s theirs. Half of American men own a firearm, the poll showed. With the conceal and carry law enacted in Missouri in 2003 and then in Kansas in 2006 more and more men and women are taking classes.

It must be growing popular in Kansas City because a new state -of-the-art facility – Centerfire Shooting Sports- will open its doors in October. I spoke with Jean Basore, the owner, and she said there’s a real need in the market today for women with classes and a women-friendly and youth-friendly environment to learn in.

Programs such as conceal and carry, personal protection in the home, refuse to be a victim, and basic pistol shooting are going to be offered as well as a Ladies Night. And they’ll have 16 fully heated and air-conditioned indoor shooting lanes. They’ll also have a gun shop, a lounge area, and a refreshment center.
 
I can truly say this was a positive safe experience and one I’ll continue to enjoy.

Will I feel comfortable shooting a real person if they were intruding my home?

Maybe – maybe not.

Still it’s nice to know I’ll be prepared if a bad situation arises.

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Hearne: RockFest 2012; So Many Boobies, So Few Beads

About last weekend’s RockFest at Liberty Memorial

The one where an estimated 55,000 head-bangers bellied up to 15 bands for nearly a dozen hours of drunken and disorderly debauchery. A politcally correct, freelance concert review in the Star glossed over the depravity by referring to "the antics of uninhibited women" and musicians who "actively encouraged…lewd behavior."

Leaving to reader’s imaginations the question, how lewd was it?

"It was a great people watching crowd," says Westporter Bill Nigro, who worked the event. "Because you saw everybody from the beautiful people to the not-so-beautiful people. There were some stunning women there and there were some other ones that weren’t."

Diplomatically said – but let’s take it a step farther – how stunning?

"There was quite a bit of flashing," Nigro says. "I’ve never seen so many flashes. Ever."

More than in Westport on St. Patrick’s Day even?

"Uh, yeah," Nigro deadpans.  "At least 20 times more, easily, Twenty times more flashing than Westport gets on St. Patrick’s Day."

Even at the back of the bus where Nigro was trapped working?

"It was happening everywhere, not just down by the music," he says. "I mean, there were guys walking around with beads and girls were flashing them to get more beads."

Nigro’s boob count?

"I was there over 12 hours, from 8 a.m. until about 9 in the evening," he says. "And I had to have seen over 100, I guess."

Meaning 50 women or 100 pair? The latter, Nigro notes.

Forgive me for asking but, the percentage of flashing hotties to flashing notties?

"It was pretty much half and half," Nigro says. "One half USDA Choice prime boobs."

And the other half: "Oh, I’d just say large and cuddily."

In fact, Nigro set a personal record for most bare boobs beheld.

"That’s probably because it was his first RockFest, because that’s pretty normal at RockFest," says former Entercom honcho Bob Zuroweste, who’s lorded over his share of the headbanger happenings. "That’s probably why there’s 40,000 guys there and just 10,000 women – it’s part of the show."

Nigro’s advice for red-blooded dudes planning to attend next year’s RockFest?

"Bring some beads, you won’t be sorry."

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Hearne: Best Buy Victim of Times, Sex Scandal, ‘Psychological Marketing’

What goes around comes around…

Last year Jack Poessiger and I were talking to the head of one of Kansas City’s biggest commercial real estate firms about a fancy-schmancy new retail development he was working on. One for which he’d procured Best Buy as an anchor tenant. Isn’t that a little risky, I asked. Nah, he assured me, Best Buy was blue chip. A few days later I sent him a couple links to business stories suggesting otherwise.

Now check out this graph from an Associated Press story earlier this week about an unrelated sex scandal that has cost Best Buy both its CEO and founder.

"The latest revelations are part of a scandal that couldn’t have come at a worse time for the 46-year-old retailer. The company, which has more than 1,400 U.S. locations, is struggling to regain its footing as it faces increased competition from online retailers and discounters. Customers have all but abandoned buying at so-called ‘big box’ stores like Best Buy."

"All but abandoned" Sound familiar? It should.

"What have I been telling you for the past year," says Kiefs Audio Video owner John Kiefer.

Meaning Best Buy’s days are numbered?

"Well, are they over? No, they’re not over, but the truth of it is people don’t get discounts at box stores unless they’re shopping for commodities like toilet paper," Kiefer says. "Electronics are another matter, and anything that has a model number on it could be a stock unit, a B stock unit (refurbished), gray market or counterfeit. We don’t even buy using model numbers anymore – we haven’t for 20 years. We buy by the SKU number."

Speaking of 20 years, two decades back big box stores were all the rage.

Remember CompUSA? Technically the company’s still around, but try finding one within 500 miles. Or how about Circuit City, Tweeter, Sound Advice, Ultimate Electronics – or Silo, for crying out loud.

"Big box stores are a dime a dozen," Kiefer muses.

Could Best Buy be the next Circuit City?

"I think it’s very possible," Kiefer says. "Because for 20 years they’ve never given discounts on anything good – anything of true value."

Not to mention the days of CDs and DVDs as loss leaders to build traffic are mostly in the rearview mirror.

Here’s the deal.

"They advertise big discounts but, but basically what they’re doing is ‘psychological discounting,’ " Kiefer says. "I talked to Sam Walton years ago and he told me, ‘I will never discount more than one percent of the items in my store.’ So out of 60,000 items, he would only discount 600 items. I asked him how he could get away with so little discounting and he said, ‘If you discount the items people shop for every day and move ’em around the store, you train people to think they’re in a discount store.’ You train people to think they’re gonna outsmart the store. Isn’t that why people go to Las Vegas? Because they think they’re going to win?"

All of that said, how long can Best Buy keep the game going?

"I think they’re on their demise right now," Kiefer says. "But there are an awful lot of people that still think, ‘Well, I got a good deal on a TV five years ago."

Columnist insert: I’ll still drop by the odd Best Buy when traveling to maybe see if it has a certain CD I want to listen to on the road, or to pick up the odd new release or maybe get a phone or computer part. Even just to see what the stores are featuring and/or what kind of people are still shopping there. And what I’ve noticed increasingly in recent years is that I see fewer and fewer customers in the stores.

"You’re right, there are," Kiefer says. "And the reason is, the core of Best Buy’s business was audio and video and today if you look at Best Buy, today it’s really a great big Radio Shack. They’ve got a little of everything, but they have very little audio. They still have a lot of TVs, but they don’t have the really good models."

As for ousting of Best Buy’s founder for not reporting the sex scandal with the CEO, "It’s irrelevant," Kiefer says. "His days are over. He did his thing, he convinced the American public that he was a Walmart when he never was. When the reality was he was just a hustler like me and everybody else. But I’ve always tried to be an honest hustler."

Can Best Buy make it by turning its big box success formula upside down and going with small, boutiques selling cell phones and the like?

"They’re not going to do that," Kiefer says. "That is, once again, ‘psychological marketing.’ The fact is, they’re shrinking and they’re going to open a few of those. Will it work? Who knows? I hope it works."

Kiefer’s bottom line on Best Buy:

"If you’re a stock market investor in Best Buy, my suggestion is to sell your stock. I think they’re going to be very lucky to be alive in 10 years. What do you think of K Mart? They’re still around, but in what condition? Radio Shack is still around. I wish ’em luck, but I looked at my 401K about six months ago and I called my stockbroker and said, ‘Get me out of Best Buy.’ And he said, ‘You don’t want to do that, they’re doing well.’ And I said, ‘That’s why I want to get out.

"Do yourself a favor and remember that word "psychological marketing.’ When you were selling yourself to some girl at some point in your life, what came out of your mouth? All the bullshit you could think of."

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/2012/05/14/3609385/best-buy-chairman-steps-down-after.html#storylink=cpy
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Sounds Good: Taj Mahal@Knuckleheads, Grant Hart@Tap Room, P-Funk@Crossroads, Bad Veins@Replay, CIB & Ghosty@Replay

For those that don’t know, this week is American Craft Beer Week...

Yeah, I know it sounds like it was made up by American craft brewers.  But it does have a few benefits, particularly if you’re in the Larry neck of the woods this Thursday evening.  Free State is teaming up with local milk gurus Iwig’s Dairy at the Farmer’s Market near 19th and Mass.  Word on the street is that these two local favs will be combining their wares to make the famous Oatmeal Stout Ice Cream Floats.

And that’s just ONE of the benefits of American Craft Beer Week!  Trust me, there’s lots more. 

By the way, next week is KC Entertainment Blog Week, so you know what that means.

Some good music this week, check it out…

Wednesday, May 16th
 
Taj Mahal @ Knuckleheads in KC
 
Simply put, Taj is a legend.  He has played a variety of styles over the years, including a form of Hawaiian roots blues (I just made that genre up) that is super mellow and awesome.  But mostly, I guess you would call Taj a southern blues guitar man, and his soulful growl more than equals his finger-picking.  On May 17th Taj turns 70 so this show could turn into a special birthday celebration if the old man can make it past midnight.  I bet he can.  And I bet he literally commands the audience to get up and shake it a little.
 
“The music was designed for people to move, and it’s a bit difficult after a while to have people sitting like they’re watching television,” said Taj.  “Often I don’t allow that. I just play to the goddess of music-and I know she’s dancing.”
 

Thursday, May 17th
 
Grant Hart & Danny Pound @ the Taproom in Lawrence
 
This should be a cool and intimate show in a dark and dank basement.  For those that don’t know, Grant Hart was the drummer for Hüsker Dü, the super-influential alternative/ punk band that many credit with giving birth to the 90s grunge thing.  After that band broke up around 1987, Hart started a new band, Nova Mob.  Now, he’s doing solo stuff.
 
And damn, does he have some stories.  Most of them are hard to follow.  Like this snippet about his brand new album, The Argument which is based on John Milton’s Paradise Lost.
 
“Growing up—when I was 9, 10, 11—Jesus Christ Superstar was quite popular,” Hart explained to the Village Voice’s Brad Cohan.  “It always took me that they were able to pull a single off of every side of that record without throwing the Bible or God in your face. With the Milton, I have skipped over anything it has where it could be obtained in other sources. My listeners did not need a rewrite of the Old Testament.”    
 
Friday, May 18th
 
George Clinton and the P-Funk Allstars @ Crossroads KC
 
OK, we all know that George Clinton is a crazy mutha-funker… I’ll pause quickly right now and slap myself in the mouth for that.  I deserve it.
 
But the guy is simply relentless.  He still plays about 200 shows per year, and recent reviews indicate that he still brings it hard.  Granted, he has a top notch band, always has, always will.  But don’t hold that against the MAN.  Here’s how Chicago at Night’s Jim Ryan described a show in the Windy City from last week:
 
“When it comes to the live show, at this point, George allows his band to do most of the heavy lifting.  That said, for the first and last forty-five minutes of Thursday’s show, George was as energized, animated and vocal as I’ve seen him in the past few years… There was a sexy nurse.  A guy walking on his hands.  George’s son.  George’s granddaughter.  George’s grandson… My favorite song of the night was actually the fifteen minute psychadelic journey the band took me on with the 1970 Funkadelic hit "I Bet You" to open the show.  I don’t even know how the band created some of the sounds that I heard during that performance.”
 
Whaddya think?  I know I’m in.
 
 
Bad Veins @ the Replay in Lawrence
 
These guys are getting some run right now, right before they go out on tour with Two Door Cinema Club and Clap Your Hands Say Yeah later this month.  This keyboard and guitar duo’s live shows features the backing of a reel-to-reel backing track for drums, and a bunch of other weird instruments, as well as, I’m told a rotary telephone.  And they just released  a new album, The Mess We’ve Made, to generally positive reviews.
 
This show looks to me like one of those Jacki Becker specials.  You know, the ones where the band is about to blow up and you probably won’t see these guys in such a tiny venue ever again, but if you do you can brag about it for the next five years or so.  
 

Saturday, May 19th

 
Cowboy Indian Bear & Ghosty @ the Replay in Lawrence
 
CIB returns (triumphantly?) from a short Midwest tour that finally answered the age-old question that everyone wants to know.  Who is the cowboy, who’s the Indian, and I’m pretty sure I know who the bear is actually.
 
Joining in the fun is local indie stalwarts Ghosty, fresh off of releasing a new album a few weeks ago that everyone seems to like a fair amount.
 
I expect this show to be packed, with a musician/artist/tanktop wearer/hipster:hottie ratio at 10:1.  Just so ya know.   

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