JACK THE GIANT SLAYER is a big screen fairytale bordering an action-filled spectacle…
A family adventure that’s probably not for the entire family—hence its PG-13 rating. Some of the film’s fighting and battle scenes are surprisingly graphic and could easily frighten the under eight age crowd.
Of course the fabled story is based on Jack And The Beanstalk and has Nicholas Hoult as the title character come into possession of some very unusual beans. Continue reading
Man, that seemed quick, didn’t it?
It seems like only yesterday we were watching the Houston Dynamo again dash the hopes and dreams of the boys in blue for a second straight year.
But a lot has happened since then.
Two of KC’s stalwarts – Roger Espinoza and Kei Kamara – were shipped to the brighter lights and bigger money of the English Premier League. A new Designated Player, Argentinian Claudio Bieler, was added to provide some much needed scoring punch. Center back Matt Besler signed a long term deal to stay at home, after a handful of Euro clubs expressed interest in the rising star.
Oh, and did you hear? Sporting unveiled some new jerseys. My take? They’re fine. Continue reading
The Chiefs had to wait until he was officially available, but today, they would like to welcome their new quarterback – Pope Benedict!
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Someone hacked the KCPD Twitter account and posted a weight loss ad. Police realized someone outside the department had made the post when they saw it was a WEIGHT LOSS AD. Continue reading
It’s all but official that Alex Smith is now poised to become the next starting quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs. In a move that has been speculated about for nearly a week now (though still not official; trades cannot be made before March 12th), the Chiefs will send this year’s 2nd round draft pick (1st pick of the round) PLUS a conditional pick next year, to the San Francisco 49ers for the services of the veteran QB.
The early, prevailing opinion amongst Chiefs’ fans seems to be that new general manager John Dorsey needs to be murdered by a thousand rabid dogs, and new head coach Andy Reid is as bad as Hitler at a baby seal clubbing party.
I see things differently.
In fact, I really like this move. It’s what I’d hoped they’d do all along. (Well, once it became apparent that Smith was a goner in SF.) I’ll explain why. Continue reading
Don’t look now but things are going to get a whole lot more interesting around these parts…
That’s because Kansas City’s original shock jock Randy Miller has agreed to write for KC Confidential. That’s right, the guy who all but invented the fine art of pissing off advertisers, powerful people and getting fired for his wayward, on-air ways is back in the public eye and will be keeping an eye on all things Kansas City (and more) via the printed word.
The good news is, we don’t even need a “dump button.” Continue reading
I got the news that Dan Wastler passed away yesterday, and I was immediately filled with regret…
Although I worked for Dan for almost 8 years at Q104, I never really got to know him very well. I hosted the crazy, carnival morning show on Q104, and he was the straight arrow, kept-at-arms-length general manager. We battled weekly, and celebrated daily.
Dan was always the first to congratulate me on great ratings, but also the first to call me on the carpet for whatever offense he or CBS deemed had crossed the line. Continue reading
They’re dropping like flies…
And Westport bar and restaurant owner Bill Nigro couldn’t be more pleased. That on the heels of word that two of Nigro’s worst nightmares have or are poised to move on. Kansas City Health department honcho Bert Malone and Liquor Control head Gary Majors.
“I heard that this is Majors last week,” Nigro says. “And Bert Malone just moved on, so the two guys who were most involved in regulating the restaurant and bar industry will have moved on in the past two months.”
On a scale of one to ten, how happy is Nigro? Continue reading
Talk about blow jobs…
The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission estimates that each year there are approximately 5,740 snow blower related injuries in the United States that require medical attention.
One problem in the design of some snow blowers is that snow can build up in the auger, jamming it and stalling the motor. This is complicated by the fact that the auger can deform before applying enough resistance to the motor to turn it off.
Then if the jam is cleared by hand, it’s possible for the auger to return to its natural shape suddenly and with great force, possibly injuring the user.
Snow blowers are a leading cause of traumatic hand and finger amputations. Continue reading
Assuming you’re able to dig yourself out, there’s some good shows coming up this weekend.
Don’t worry, you’ll stay warm next to the crackling orange glow of Robert Earl Keen and Yonder Mountain String Band.
A little whiskey might help, too.
The latest storm projection shows that by this time tomorrow Johnson County will be even whiter.
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Up to 16 inches of snow predicted for the Kansas City area. Kansas City is the only place where officials encourage residents to keep a neighbor in the trunk for better traction.
I’m no expert on horse meat…
But I’ve dished up my fair share of dog food over the years and I did just happen to try the “famous” IKEA Swedish Meatballs last week in Orange County. The ones the Star‘s Joyce Smith raved about.
Fifteen of em, to be exact.
So why did I consume 15 ultra bland meatballs if they weren’t really any good? Good question. You might say I was as hungry as a horse.
Not hungry enough to eat a horse mind you, but then that’s not how they were described on the menu. Continue reading
It’s the middle of winter…
When should I book my summer vacation? That’s one of the more frequently asked questions I always get.
I’ve been an independent travel agent for over 20 years now. First with Abbey Road Travel and for the past dozen years or so with Shelton Travel Service.
And the standard questions from travelers haven’t changed much.
In this column I’ll try to address what’s on most people’s minds. You know, and try and keep it clean. Continue reading
I can’t stand the phoney baloney Oscars…
Hollywood jerks.
What’s happened to our wonderful country?
Poisoned by rap music, socialists and underachievers. Awful, terrible.
By the way, see if you notice the same thing I’m noticing. Everything is about women. Even the ads. Men are just props or are treated as such.
This “KILLER COP” story has so many holes…
He’s in a cabin almost across the street from the police station that’s been running the search for him? Fifty cops in hiding?
Aren’t they COPS?
The Top 5 signs you know it’s going to be a long winter…
#5. You have to send your Chihuahua outside wearing snorkel gear.
#4. Snow’s too deep to see the Global Warming bumper stickers in Westport.
#3. KC Mayor Sly James get into a Twitter war with Punxsutawney Phil. Continue reading
I’ve been to jail. I’m not proud of it, nor do I want to talk about it. It wasn’t a Jim Varney-esque adventure full of hilarity and penal-stereotypes, but it wasn’t scary, either. (Shankings are primarily reserved for MSNBC’s “Lock Up,” apparently.)
It was mostly boring and uneventful, but it sure was a shitty way to spend a weekend, for certain. And while I’d love to be able to tell you how to STAY out of jail, I can’t. It happens to the best of us.
One moment, you’re “innocently” trespassing at a private lake with some friends, drinking and cavorting, and the next thing you know, you’re being given tickets for said trespassing offense. Only YOU’RE being held, Brandon, because your psychopath cousin once got pulled over in North Kansas City for speeding/drinking and driving/in a car with expired tags, and he gave them YOUR name instead of his… he said that he was Brandon Leftridge, goddamnit, and no, he didn’t have his license but he knew his social security number, by God (having memorized yours while he was living with you after his own parents gave up on him because he was kicked out of regular-kid-school for cutting another student’s throat with a box-cutter).
Sometimes, this shit just happens. You can’t help it.
So what can you do while you’re there? Well, you can always perform a song for the warden and hope for early release… except, you know, this is jail and not prison, and you’re not Elvis (or Leadbelly) and there really isn’t a warden. Continue reading
Hats off to Dwayne Johnson, he’s evolved into an actor…
Oh sure he’s made movies before. But in SNITCH he goes beyond just walking through an action flick. He actually and believably ACTS!
That’s not to say that this movie—which he also co-produced—conquers any new territory, but it works. Continue reading
Funny how distance can often lend some perspective…
I’ve just spent the past week running around half lost in Southern California in a rental Chevrolet Cruze. In Newport Beach and San Diego to be specific. And since you guys are undoubtedly trapped at home gazing out at snowdrifts (as the hapless Scribe lamented to me yesterday), I’m more than happy to share my warm weather findings with you.
You can’t spend two days building snowmen and sucking down hot chocolate anyway, right? Continue reading
Pop quiz: What’s the English word for IKEA?
There isn’t one.
It’s an acronym for the name of the company’s founder Ingvar Kamprad, his farm and the town he grew up.
But after touring a 10 year-old IKEA store in Orange County Wednesday, it means three things to me – cheap, Cheap, CHEAP!
Continue reading
If you’re anything like me—and honestly, there are worse ways to be, I promise—you’re pretty much an abject failure when it comes to gift giving. Oh sure, you have moments of brilliance—something someone was pining for, or something intensely personal that made the gift one of the all-time greats—but those magical moments are few and far between.
My gift giving is mostly composed of, “oh, hey, I saw you watching an episode of Green Acres that one time when it was 3 am and we were drunk, and I KNOW you said it was an awful show, but anyway, I REMEMBERED that, right? And I think I thought you were just saying what you wanted me to hear, and that you ACTUALLY like the show, so anyway… here’s the complete collection on VHS. I ordered it from eBay from a guy in Vancouver. And I’m sorry the tapes themselves reek like American Spirits and guinea pig urine… he was the only seller who had the COMPLETE collection.”
It’s even worse when it’s Valentine’s Day, a terrible Hallmark-generated holiday-bot engineered for the sole purpose of making you look like an asshole, no matter how hard you try.
Chocolates and flowers are boring, and an expensive meal is shat out shortly after consumption, leaving little in the way of long-term memory making. And though this year’s V-Day is safely in the rearview—are the flowers still living, even?—I want you to know that there ARE options. In fact, Craigslist is TEEMING with solutions sure to melt your lover’s panties… and when they DO get melted? Don’t worry… I’m sure you can find some that are “gently used” for a reasonable pittance.
Let’s see what you COULD have given (for free!!!), shall we? Continue reading
