There are many important things to consider when moving to a new city…
How are the schools? Will my children finish each day happy, confident and learned, or is there a high probability that they’ll be knifed at the water fountain?
How are the neighborhoods? Will there be safe, family-friendly block parties where we get together, cook out and talk about community improvement matters, or will I end up waking up at 3am because my methed-out neighbor Tim just busted my car window in an attempt to steal my stereo? (It’s a factory stereo, Tim. Don’t be a dipshit.)
High on the list of considerations are the amenities. Is there a reasonably close market stocked with fresh produce, helpful employees and clean, easily navigated aisles? Are there decent restaurants, bars and movie theaters? If my dog eats poisoned ground beef late at night (goddamn you, Tim, I know it was you), is there a competent emergency pet-care facility nearby?
When you move to Kansas—as I found myself doing some five months ago, now—another very important subject is liquor. Continue reading