Midway through the 2014 baseball season, the Kansas City Royals find themselves a frustratingly average team, ensconced firmly in second place of the American League Central.
Okay, it’s not the exact midway point in the season yet, but we’re close enough for me to write a column about midseason stuff and have it stick. Seeing as how I’m writing this on the 100th anniversary of Archduke Franz Ferdinand’s assassination, I am reminded that life is fleeting; postpone a column such as this, and it may never be written. (Although it seems unlikely that there is a Gavrilo Princip waiting for me in the dark, I could like, choke to death on a taquito or something. Later tonight, even.)
So all tomfoolery aside, let’s find out who’s taking home this year’s coveted Completely Useless Nonsensical Trophies. Continue reading