I used to eat a lot at McDonald’s…
Right now I can taste a quarter pounder if I think about it. The fries became less satisfying over time, but the food was always consistent. And back before the chainification of America this was important.
I remember eating roast beef outside of Yellowstone back in 1974. Tasted like that shoe Charlie Chaplin consumed in “The Gold Rush.” And when you’re alone, in the middle of nowhere, in the pre-cellphone era, that’s pretty depressing.
Now the reason I bring this up is because I ate at Mickey D’s so much that I knew more about ordering than the people who worked there.
I always wanted to jump over the counter and key my own order in. Even when they went to pictures, the clerks couldn’t do it. Even more depressing were the should-be retireds not only taking your order, but sweeping up. You looked at them and wondered if that could be you. I know a number of people who are living on social security, still in their 60s.
What are they gonna make it on in their 90s?
Life is long, wait until you’re 70 to take social security. Because if you live past your mid-80s- the crossover point, and you probably will – the extra cash will make a difference.
So yesterday I had a flat tire.
Now in the old days, you’d have a full-sized spare. I changed the tire on my BMWs numerous times. But now you’ve got a donut if you’re lucky. Some new cars come without a spare at all, just an inflation kit, to get you to the next stop.
As for BMWs, they’ve got run-flats – which cost a ton to replace – but you can still drive on them. I no longer drive a BMW – I’ve got a donut – but I didn’t think I’d need it.
So Monday I parked on a hill.
You know, with the car leaning sideways. I saw the rear tire looked low. But today, tires are so low-profile that you’re not always sure they’re flat. And these low-profile tires give a worse ride, but they look cool!
Now I would have taken the dirt road into the trailhead, but there were potholes and I was worried because of these low-profile tires that I’d bend a rim, never mind puncture a tire.
But I have OCD, I’m always looking for problems.
So the next day, yesterday, I’m driving on the freeway and when I drive over the Botts Dots, I hear a thump, louder than usual, I chalk it up to my radio being turned down low.
I made a stop.
And then an hour later I went to my next appointment, parked, and the tire still looked flat. I realized I had to take action.
That’s another facet of the modern world, you’ve got no time – everything’s squeezed together – one problem screws up your whole day.
At least we have Uber and Lyft. Used to be you were stuck completely. Now I was worried whether I’d have to use one of these two ride-hailing apps to get to Hollywood for my Sirius XM show.
I had an hour, wherein I planned to read the papers. I wanted to go to lunch, but there wasn’t quite enough time. I had it all figured out.
I’d finish this appointment, drive to Hollywood to beat the traffic, eat lunch and then do my radio show. But the older you get, the more you realize plans are worthless. You can lay it out, but it rarely goes down that way.
Our smartphones are seamless, but the world they exist in is not.
The Weeknd
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