Author Archives: Kelly Urich

Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 opened Friday.  In this movie Bella and Edward have a daughter named “Renesmee.”  Let’s hope dad teaches her how to dress. ******* “Lincoln” hit theaters Friday.  There are no vampires in this movie, but there … Continue reading →

Hostess Brands has decided to close operations after the company couldn’t reach an agreement with a labor union.  Personally, I’m calling for a government bailout, because I’ve always believed my Ding Dong was too big to fail. ******* In completely … Continue reading →

McDonald’s just posted their first quarterly loss in nine years. **It’s nice to see former Sprint CEO Gary Forsee has found work. ******* C.I.A. director, General David Petraeus has resigned after admitting to an extra-marital affair. **He was holding out … Continue reading →

Obama supporters turned out in droves on election day, mainly because most of them have nothing better to do. ******* After watching the Obama victory, the Chiefs will try to get back in the win column by playing a pickup … Continue reading →

I’m not saying things are getting bad but I just spent 20 minutes on a Ouija board with Harry Truman.  He wants his name taken off the sports complex. ******* Don’t forget to fall back Sunday (11/4).  If you’re a … Continue reading →

The Top 5 Signs You’ve Encountered a New Yorker Fleeing Hurricane Sandy: #5.  They won’t stop complaining about your city’s bad delis. #4.  Someone asks you the entrance to the nearest subway…in Omaha. #3.  You get them really angry and … Continue reading →

Sports Illustrated asked 180 NFL stars who the most overrated player in the league is.  The overwhelming #1 choice was Jets backup quarterback Tim Tebow, receiving 34% of the vote.  Tebow recently trademarked his famous “Tebowing” prayer stance.  Just to … Continue reading →

Kansas City Police are looking for a man who robbed a Church’s Chicken Tuesday night armed with a samurai sword. The man demanded money from the cash register at the store at 55th Street and Prospect Avenue while driving a … Continue reading →

Sprint is being bought by a Japanese company, the Kansas City Board of Trade was sold to a Chicago firm.  At least Hallmark is still doing well!  Oh, what a minute… ******* A design for a remodeled airport for Kansas … Continue reading →

A “crash and dash” robbery happened at the Apple store in Leawood.  Someone backed a Dodge Intrepid into the store, grabbed the loot and drove away.  Police are on the lookout for the only Dodge in Leawood. ******* Paul Ryan … Continue reading →

  Jerry Johnston used to be pastor of the First Family mega-church but left because of trouble with the I.R.S.  Last year he started a new church and it too has now closed its doors.  We knew the new church … Continue reading →

Chiefs fans say they weren’t cheering because Matt Cassel was injured.  They were cheering because Helmet Man pulled out a lighter to light a CIGARETTE. ******* The Chiefs went into damage control Monday by trying to restore Cassel’s popularity.  They … Continue reading →

Hillary Clinton was photographed looking at Christina Aguilara‘s cleavage.  I guess after a while you do start to LOOK like your spouse! ******* The Royals have fired hitting coach Kevin Seitzer.  He’s the reason the broad side of my barn … Continue reading →

Hallmark is closing a plant in Topeka that employs 500 people.  Now, which “Maxine” card should I send to someone who was just laid off from Hallmark? ******* Passenger seats on three different American Airlines flights have jarred loose in … Continue reading →

Google is trying to land some local sports team’s broadcasts and outbid Time Warner Cable.  We’re all hoping this leads to the eventual purchase of the Kansas City Royals. ******* Finally some good news for Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin.  … Continue reading →

Police are cracking down on teenagers drinking alcohol and causing trouble in the parking lot at Kauffman Stadium.  Their excuse?  They’re Royals fans. ******* Mitt Romney made an unscheduled pit-stop at KCI Sunday.  His flight was diverted because of a … Continue reading →

U.S. News and World Report released its annual rankings of “Best Colleges” and Mizzou ranked #97.  KU came in just below at #106.  KU defends its inferior score by saying 106 is better than 97 in basketball. ******* Kansas Speedway … Continue reading →

You can tell it’s time for Chiefs football when we reach the point of the year when you can’t find the Royals on Google. ******* It was strange to watch people raving about former President Clinton’s oral skills for a … Continue reading →

We spoke with officials at KCUR FM and there is no truth to the rumor they’re considering replacing the Walt Bodine show with the Clint Eastwood show. ******* A lot of Democrats who’ve traveled to the DNC convention in Charlotte … Continue reading →

I’ve decided the sex in the new Navy Seal book is much better than the sex in 50 Shades of Grey. ******* Besse Cooper of Georgia is the world’s oldest person. She turned 116 this week and still spends most … Continue reading →