Author Archives: Kelly Urich

Starbeams: CB Radio Internet for Raytown & Clitoris Awareness Week

Google Fiber is coming to Raytown and residents are scrambling to find a way to connect the Internet to CB radio. ******* FC Kansas City remains undefeated in Women’s Professional Soccer with a win over Seattle.  I think I speak … Continue reading

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Starbeams: A Tebow in Wolf’s Clothing, Sprint Wars, Obama Surgery & Getting Away with Murder

Tim Tebow has received an offer from the Omaha Beef indoor football league to play for $75 a game.  For that kind of money he can come to Arrowhead and play KC Wolf. ******* SoftBank will not up its offer … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Stale Twinkies Back, Drafting George Jones, Meat Market, Clint’s Couch

Twinkies will be available at local stores in 10 weeks as the Twinkie factory in Emporia will start production in eight weeks.  They want the Twinkies to sit on the shelves and age for a couple of weeks because people … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Annex KCI? Royal Surprise & Nude ‘Cocks

A group of Kansas City residents are trying to bring the prospect of a one-terminal airport to a citywide vote.  Meanwhile, a group of Ontario residents are voting whether or not to annex KCI. ******* It’s close to May and … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Royals to Red Sox Rescue, Dish on Sprint & Gay NHL

The first Boston Red Sox home game since the marathon bombing will be Friday night vs. the Royals.  Nothing lifts the spirits of Bostonians quite like having the Royals come to town. ******* Dish Network is making a bid to … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Jackie Robinson Movie Channels David Glass, Billy Butler, Col. Sanders

Harrison Ford was in town for the premiere of the Jackie Robinson movie “42.”  He plays Branch Rickey, a baseball owner obsessed with making money, regardless of what everyone else thought.  His role was especially enjoyed by Royals owner David … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Outlaw Texans and Google Fiber & BBQ

Harrison Ford will be in KC tomorrow for premiere of the Jackie Robinson movie “42.” Rumor has it Mark Hamill will be there…serving popcorn. ****** Google Fiber is expanding to Austin in 2014.  Google wants to focus on cities that … Continue reading

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Starbeams: The Top 5 Similarities Between the Royals & North Korea

The home opener in Kansas City is the day when we can all be optimistic that our team will make it all the way to June before falling apart…    The Top 5 similarities between the Royals and North Korea: … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Star Trek Love, Ahchoo, DJs Without Teeth Alert

George Takei – Sulu from Star Trek – will make an appearance at the Kansas City Comicon.  This is your chance to boldly go where every man has gone before. ******* The Asthma Allergy Foundation has ranked the worst cities … Continue reading

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Starbeams: AMC Urination, Prostitution KCK Style & Roids Bucks

Several people left the AMC Town Center 20 after a grown man stood up and began urinating in the middle of the Tyler Perry movie.  And to think, AMC thought they were getting away from public urination when they left … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Twin Peaks to Olathe, Deer Hunting in Buckner

Twin Peaks Sports Bar opened Monday in Olathe.  It’s sort of like a Hooter’s, but with more of a sports theme.  What could possibly go wrong there? ******* North Kansas City is trying to figure out how to get the … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Win Bon Jovi Tix, Aixois Gift Cards!

BREAKING NEWS:  We just learned the Missouri based B-2 Bomber that flew over North Korea Thursday, was delivering METH. ******* Hundreds of American businesses in China have been targeted by Chinese hackers, who are stealing information.  “Tell us about it” … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Anderson Cooper ‘Adorable,’ Tiger back on Top with Nike

Former Pope Benedict XVI says he’s picking Dorothy Hamill for Dancing with the Stars. ******* After hours of hearing arguments, the Supreme Court has ruled that Anderson Cooper is ADORABLE! *******

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Starbeams: Drunk Driving in Westport, Elephant Herpes & ‘Ungoogleable’

A bunch of guys wearing skirts spent the day at the Supreme Court hearing on whether or not states can ban same-sex marriage? ******* The Irish town of Kilgarvin has legalized drunk driving….or as we call it in Westport – … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Top 5 Ways to Know You’ve Had Too Much Coffee Ale

Boulevard Brewing has teamed with The Roasterie to present Coffee Ale, for a limited release… To Wit: The Top 5 Ways to Know You’ve Had Too Much Coffee Ale: #5.  The best part of waking up is having no idea … Continue reading

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Starbeams: KC Strip Taking Trip, Everything ‘Cricket’ with New Pope

Pope Francis gave his inaugural mass early this morning.  He spoke a lot about protecting creation and wrapped it up asking everyone to pray for him.  In an attempt to bring the church up-to-date, he has changed the name of … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Smoke Signals, Chase Daniels & Free Bon Jovi Tix

The YMCA is building a $30 million center downtown at 10th and Grand.  If you’re dyslexic, it can double as a MACY’S. ******* Catholic Cardinals are choosing a new pope.  White smoke from the chimney signals the conclave has not … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Wienermobile Polishing, Ritz Weddings & Deep Fried Mars Bars

The Oscar Mayer Wienermobile is spending a few days at the Price Chopper on Barry Road.  Despite the bad weather, I’ve done a great job of polishing my wiener. ******* A Denver firm has won the contract to design the … Continue reading

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Starbeams: Prairiefire, Royals, Oz Meets Katie Horner, Kansas Carries On

A $500 million dollar Prairiefire at Lionsgate shopping center is coming to 135th and Nall in Overland Park.  Finally a break for our city’s African-American community! ******* The Royals have won 11 straight at Spring Training in Arizona.  Apparently, the … Continue reading

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Starbeams: ‘Modern Family’ Elevator Mishap, OZ @ Union Station & Oreo Splitter

Three stars of ABC’s “Modern Family” were trapped in the elevator at the Sheraton Hotel at Crown Center Friday night.  Eric Stonestreet, Julie Bowen and Jesse Tyler were supposed to have taken the stage for the Boys and Girls Club … Continue reading

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