Author Archives: Brandon Leftridge
Leftridge: Royals’ June Recap
Sometimes, when you hope and dream about something long enough, it can come true. A mysterious boil on your privates retracts, allowing you to sleep a little easier. The utility company made a mistake and they owe YOU some money … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Greg Holland, KC Royals, recap
19 Comments
Leftridge: The Best Fireworks, Ranked
Ah, the 4th of July. Delicately nestled within the sweaty meat of an endless summer, the holiday is less emblematic of its intention—celebrating the birth of a nation—and more about the gluttony and decadence that has come to define the … Continue reading
Leftridge: Royals Resume Winning Ways, Despite Ned Yost’s Continual Efforts to Ruin Them
Imagine a carpenter. He’s working on a new home with a crew of other guys, but it’s not going so hot. He’s been on this job for months now—much longer than anyone ever anticipated—and mostly, he’s getting nothing done. Part … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged #fireYost, Brandon Leftridge, KC Royals, Ned Yost
6 Comments
Leftridge: Advice to Home Sellers, From a Guy Who’s Looking to Buy
So I’ve been house-hunting. For the first time ever. And I’ve learned some things. Not things that new buyers need to know, necessarily—I think I’m still figuring that part out—but things that sellers should know. Things that I’ve learned after … Continue reading
Leftridge: Royals Shock World With Worst 1st Round MLB Draft Pick Ever
“With the eighth overall pick in the 2013 Major League Baseball amateur draft, the Kansas City Royals take O’Jesus Whogivesashit from For Fuck’s Sake State University.” Or that might as well have been what they said. Because honestly, who SERIOUSLY … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, draft, Hunter Dozier, KC Royals
13 Comments
Leftridge: May Royals’ Recap: Come to Suck
What a difference a month makes. At the end of April, the Royals were 14-10. They were a game out of first place and everything was coming up daffodils. The pitching was invincible and the offense—while still not pounding out … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Alex Gordon, Brandon Leftridge, cock-punched, KC Royals, recap
8 Comments
Leftridge: Free Crap on Craigslist, the Graduation Edition
Graduation time. When today’s youth begin their birth-assured death march toward tomorrow’s uncertain life. They walk across the stage, diploma in hand, head held high, a smile on their face, ready to tackle the future. If they’re graduating from high … Continue reading
Leftridge: TV Time: Arrested Development Returns, Monopolizes 3-Day-Weekend’s Plans
Seven years ago, I was delivering pizzas in the evening, driving a forklift after midnight, and spending my days sending emails to my editors at The Pitch Weekly politely inquiring about the status of my most recent check. (They weren’t … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Entertainment
Tagged Arrested Development, Brandon Leftridge, Chicken Dance, TV Time
8 Comments
Leftridge: The Royals Playing Limbo: How Low Can They Go?
Well, it was bound to happen, right? The magic that kept the Royals in first place throughout most of April and a chunk of May has worn off, and we’re left with the sad truth: the unicorn we’d all admired … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, KC Royals, nut-tap, Royaling
14 Comments
Leftridge: TV Time: The Office Says Goodbye
It’s too easy to write a eulogy about a program’s death. In this age of a million online critics and critiques and retrospectives and look-backs, I’d almost guarantee the following lede (or a variation thereof) will be posted and printed … Continue reading
Leftridge: TV Time: Is Hannibal Doing Anything for Anybody?
Are you all watching NBC’s Hannibal? I’m not. Well, I suppose I am—technically—but only in arrears thorough Time Warner’s “On Demand!” and only at the continual insistence of someone from Facebook. (You know—the person who loves and trumpets something loudly, … Continue reading
Leftridge: Royals’ April Recap
Last year, I wrote a monthly recap piece about the Royals. They usually went like this: “ROYALS DO REAL BAD IN MONTH. Billy Butler hit homeruns and Country Breakfast! Pitching stupid and awful except for bullpen, where Tim Collins look … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Royals Recap, STFU Hudler
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Leftridge: Chiefs’ Draft Goes as Expected, Then Doesn’t
I was prepared to make the headline some horrible pun. Something about “No Joeckel, Chiefs Get Their Man,” or some equally nauseating variation thereof. The headline practically wrote itself, but then the Chiefs went and threw a goose in my … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Chiefs, Eric Fisher, NFL Draft
14 Comments
Leftridge: So Long, Summerall
There are very few universally beloved sports commentators. Some are an acquired taste, some have hung on long after their expiration date, and some, well, they were just never very good to begin with. None of this holds true for … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Madden, NFL, Pat Summerall, RIP
4 Comments
Leftridge: Ladies and Gentlemen, Your First Place Kansas City Royals
“Nothing gold can stay.” –Robert Frost It’s too early to get excited. I get it. I get that the Royals are in first place at 6-3, but it’s NINE GAMES. A lot can happen in nine games, and even the … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Hudler, KC Royals, Outsiders, Ponyboy
10 Comments
Leftridge: Can Wichita State Shock the World? (No)
They’ve been here before. It was 1965. The landscape of the country was rapidly changing. Men were just beginning to grow their hair out to look a little more like women and the women were beginning to grow their hair … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Final Four, NCAA, Wichita State Shockers
19 Comments
Leftridge: Seven Completely Accurate Predictions for the 2013 Royals
Although Mother Nature’s grand witchery seems to indicate otherwise, it is officially Spring which means that trees are (theoretically) in full bloom, the grass is (supposed to be) turning green and baseball—that grand, old tradition that perfectly embodies the spirit … Continue reading
Leftridge: Let’s Talk About Your Bracket
To be a sports fan in mid-March is a pretty great thing. Now one might argue that early September is the best—college football is finding its footing, the NFL season is finally, mercifully underway, and desperate MLB teams are vying … Continue reading
Leftridge: Chiefs Taking This ‘Offseason Thing’ Way Seriously
According to my kick-ass KCC Tipsters—aka, a graphic I saw on KMBC Channel 9—Kansas City Chiefs’ new season ticket sales are up an impressive 112% from last year and renewals up 5. As the free-agent signing period chugs along, the … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Chase Daniel, free agents, KC chiefs
32 Comments
Leftridge: Royals, Chiefs Making Exhibition/Offseason Waves
The news spread quickly across Twitter and assorted other social media outlets on Monday afternoon. Dwayne Bowe locked up for 5 years. Dustin Colquitt signed to a long-term contract. Branden Albert given the franchise tag (with the hope, of course, … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Chiefs, Dwayne Bowe, Luke Hochevar, Royals
7 Comments
