Author Archives: Brandon Leftridge
Leftridge: Fans Revolt After Chiefs Announce London Game
Yesterday, the Kansas City Chiefs announced that they’d join in the NFL’s aggressive push for global domination by playing a game next season against the Detroit Lions in London, England. Unsurprisingly, the announcement was met with calamitous fury from “Chiefs’ … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Boxing Day, Brandon Leftridge, KC chiefs, NFL in London
26 Comments
Leftridge: The End of Billy Butler
I was disappointed that the Kansas City Royals lost the World Series, and now I’m kind of sad because it looks like they’ll be bidding farewell to one of the better hitters in team history. Although it comes as no … Continue reading
Leftridge: In Case You Missed It, a Brief World Series Recap
The World Series featuring the Kansas City Royals and the San Francisco Giants is now 2-1 in favor of the Kansas City squad, and in case you haven’t been paying attention, here is what has happened so far. Game One: … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Marlins Man, ROYALS IN THE WORLD SERIES, Tech N9ne, World Series
2 Comments
Leftridge: The Royals Have Turned Me Into a Big Pussy
So I was wrong about the Royals… Look, I’ll admit it. In the piece I posted before the ALCS, I suggested that Kansas City would win the series, but Baltimore would rack up two victories in the process. Jesus, Mary … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Holy shit holy shit holy shit, Kansas City Royals, World Series
14 Comments
Leftridge: ALCS Gets Under Way Friday, or Maybe Saturday
Should the weather comply (and most meteorological types seem to think that it will NOT), the Royals will begin play Friday night against the dreaded Baltimore Orioles to determine who will represent the American League in the World Series, and … Continue reading
Leftridge: Next Stop for Royals, Baltimore
When the dust settled, the unlikeliest thief was standing at second with a goofy, childlike grin… Not only had he stolen a base, he’d also scored from first on a triple earlier in the game. It was just that kind … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, KC Royals, playoffs?!?, RoyalsDevilMagic
14 Comments
Leftridge: Some Sort of Sporting Event Happening Tonight or Something
Look, I never expected to be so right in my Kansas City/Oakland A’s Wild Card prediction, but like the classic 1971 Jerry Reed ditty suggests, “When you’re hot, you’re hot.” That’s right, I knew I was going out on a limb … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, George Brett, KC Royals, playoffs?? really?
11 Comments
Leftridge: Royals Will Play at Least One Extra Game This Season
All it took was a win on Friday, or a Seattle Mariners’ loss, for the Kansas City Royals to experience the team’s first playoff berth since the original Nintendo Entertainment System was sweeping the land. It was a long time ago to be … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, KC Royals, playoffs?!?, wizard's handbook
27 Comments
Leftridge: Let’s All Buy Playoff Tickets, Guys!
So I just bought tickets to the Kansas City Royals hosting a THIRD game of the ALDS. I’ll pause while you laugh. Okay, there. If you WEREN’T laughing, you probably don’t get baseball playoff seeding, or why my purchase was … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Kate Upton oral sex, KC Royals, playoffs?!?
10 Comments
Leftridge: A Startling Confession
A few years ago, for reasons I still do not claim to understand, I became a white, 20-year-old sorority girl… Seemingly out of nowhere—overnight and with no warning—I decided that I loved pumpkin shit. You know, pumpkin coffee, pumpkin candles, … Continue reading
Leftridge: The Hunt for Blue October
The Chiefs start their 2014 campaign on Sunday against the dreaded Titans of Tennessee. That’s cool, and I’m excited—go football!—but to be honest, I’ll probably be mostly watching the Kansas City Royals take on the New York Yankees. (On TBS, … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, FIRST PLACE, KC Royals, postseason
31 Comments
Leftridge: Chiefs Could Have Gone 4-0 in the Preseason, Would Still Suck This Year
In case you missed it, the Kansas City Chiefs did not have a very good preseason. In fact, it was pretty abysmal. This has caused uneducated football fans around the city to declare “THIS TEAM IS GONNA BE REAL BAD … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, KC chiefs, preseason who cares
17 Comments
Leftridge: My Triumphant Return to Fantasy Football
So I’m playing fantasy football this year. And I know you’re like, “Oh, holy shit, who even cares, dude?” and I don’t blame you. But see, the thing is, I haven’t done fantasy football in like, almost ten years. In … Continue reading
Leftridge: Oh, Hey– The Royals Are in First Place
Just last week I wrote a rambling, stat-filled post about the Kansas City Royals’ chances of making the postseason for the first time since Rutherford B. Hayes was the president of these United States. At that time, they were still … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Hyuga City, KC Royals, playoffs?!?
4 Comments
Leftridge: With 49 Games Remaining, Can the Royals Really Do It?
After finishing a sweep of the Diamondbacks last night in Arizona, the Kansas City Royals are now two-and-a-half games back of the division leading Detroit Tigers and have a half-game lead over the Yankees, the Mariners and the Blue Jays for … Continue reading
Leftridge: Royals’ Unremarkable Season Continues with Unremarkable Trade Deadline
The Oakland Athletics have the best record in baseball. As of tonight, they are 66-41 with an unearthly run differential of +162. They are a team composed of mostly unknown individuals, an unbelievable testament to their scouting and development. They … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, dayton moore the pussy, KC Royals, Trade Deadline, Trade Talk
17 Comments
Leftridge: Quick, Cheap Family Vacation Ideas
We’re approaching August which means a few things. It means that everyone’s attention is quickly being directed to the Chiefs and their pre-preseason activities and the Royals are once again becoming a sad footnote. It means that the heat is … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge
Tagged Baldknobber's, Brandon Leftridge, Branson, MO, vacations
23 Comments
Leftridge: Crap for Sale on Craigslist, Back to School Edition
Believe it or not, it’s almost back-to-school-time, a magical epoch at which parents are freed from the shackles of their godforsaken heathens and once again, almost fully functional people. Gone are the days of expensive summer sitters and Vacation Bible … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge
Tagged Back to School, Brandon Leftridge, Craigslist, haunted shit
21 Comments
Leftridge: The Pointlessness of NFL Training Camp Reporting
Ah, Training Camp. Are there any two words in the English language more apt to illicit sexual squeals from NFL beat writers across the land? (Perhaps “free sandwiches,” but my point stands.) It’s clear that we’re firmly in late July … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Charles holdout, KC chiefs, ruptured anus
16 Comments
Leftridge: TV Time: The Strain is the Worst Thing I’ve Ever Seen
If you were considering watching FX’s new original series The Strain, I’ve got some advice: DROP WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING AND DON’T WATCH IT, EVER. It’s just… terrible. See, I had reasonably high hopes, I guess. FX has a pretty good … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Entertainment
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, The Strain, TV Time
21 Comments
