Author Archives: Brandon Leftridge
Leftridge: The One Where You All Act as My Furniture Advisers
Once, before I was sucked into the suburbs and my subsequent slow-crawl to death, I lived downtown in a magnificent loft with impossibly high ceilings, tastefully polished concrete floors and exposed brick… And for this beautiful loft, I purchased an … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, couches, furniture, IKEA, Merriam, Nebraska Furnite Mart
30 Comments
Leftridge: March Madness Infographic
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Infographic, March Madness, nerds
13 Comments
Leftridge: The Internet is a Vapid Wasteland
While it’s not exactly “breaking news,” Holy Christesticles is the internet one big pile of useless, diarrhea covered garbage. Submitted for your approval, a recent “article” I stumbled across that appeared as clickbait nonsense on the front page of Yahoo!. … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Nigerian scammer, Sonic, The Internet is a Vapid Wasteland, Yahoo!
9 Comments
Leftridge: Checking in with the AL Champs
I haven’t been paying close attention to spring training. I attribute this to three things. First, I might still be suffering from a World Series hangover. It seems like just yesterday I was having my heart ripped out and shat … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Eric Hosmer, John Lamb, KC Royals, Kris Medlen, puke, Spring Training
7 Comments
Leftridge: All Hail King Sweeney
Yesterday, the Kansas City Royals announced that Michael John Sweeney would be the 26th player elected to their Hall of Fame. This makes very good and complete sense, as Michael John—or “Mike” as he is more commonly called—was a good … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged back spasms, Brandon Leftridge, cracker factory, Hall of Fame, KC Royals, Mike Sweeney
12 Comments
Leftridge: RIP Harris Wittels
Comedy writer Harris Wittels, 30, was found dead in his Los Angeles home yesterday from what was probably a drug overdose. Wittels, inventor of the humblebrag and producer/writer for Parks and Rec, Eastbound and Down and The Sarah Silverman Program … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, dead comedians, Harris Wittels, humblebrag, Mitch Hedberg
6 Comments
Leftridge: Crap for Sale on Craigslist: Valentine’s Day Edition
So once again, Valentine’s Day has landed unflinchingly upon us like a meaty ass plopping into a seat at Ryan’s Family Steakhouse. If you’re lucky, you’re single or maybe even widowed, unburdened with fiscal irresponsibility manifested in the shape of … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge
Tagged crap for sale on craigslist, Fake Scribe, hillbilly, letter opener, Tecumseh
8 Comments
Leftridge: TV Time: The Best Worst Spin Offs
Better Call Saul premieres Sunday night (and Monday night, kinda), and like everyone else who knows what’s good, my bowels are quaking in nervous, anticipatory terror. The anticipation is one of both dread and glee; riding the coat tails of … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge
Tagged Better Call Saul, Brandon Leftridge, Cheers, spin-offs, The Toretellis, TV Time
11 Comments
Leftridge: How to Cater Your Super Bowl Party
Heads up—the Super Bowl is on Sunday. Bill Belichick and his Saggy Balled Boys will take on Marshawn “The Mute Madman” Lynch. Here are some things we know will likely happen: -The game will be terrible because theoretically, it SHOULD … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged 'lil smokies, Bill Belichick, Brandon Leftridge, chili, Doritos, fat kid, Super Bowl, wardrobe malfunction
10 Comments
Leftridge: The Hubbub About Balls
SUPER BOWL SCANDAL! DEFLATIONGATE! BALLGHAZI! In case you’ve been somewhere under a rock—or, you know, not in front of a television or a computer or a newspaper or a radio for the past couple of days—here’s the biggest story in … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Aaron Rodgers, Andrew Luck, Ballghazi, Balls, Bill Belichick, Brandon Leftridge, D’Qwell Jackson, Patriots Balls, Super Bowl, Tom Brady
31 Comments
Leftridge: Here’s How My New Year’s Resolution Went
Four out of every seven Americans will make a New Year’s Resolution; three of those four will fail within the first three weeks. The remaining one individual will keep that resolution for at least one month, but half of that … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Climp from Delaware, McDouble, New Year's Resolution, sausage chili
8 Comments
Leftridge: TV Time: Impractical Jokers is the Funniest Show on Television
This may sound weird, but Impractical Jokers is the funniest show on television. Now this sentence will be read and subsequently responded to in one of two ways: 1) Yeah, no shit! or 2) What in the ever loving hell … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Entertainment
Tagged Boko Haram, Brandon Leftridge, Christ's nuts, Impractical Jokers, Isis
3 Comments
Leftridge: TV Time: So Many Shows, So Little Time
There’s a period of time—we’re coming out of it right now, actually—where all of the shows have gone into a merciful Christmas slumber. They’re not done for the season, but they’re also not willing to lose viewership to Frosty’s Still … Continue reading
Leftridge: New Year’s Eve, Craigslist Style
Well, Christmas is over and our lives are terrible again, but we can get shit back on track by having a festive time next week, too. Wednesday is New Year’s Eve, a magic night when people who don’t drink that … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, Craigslist, John Deere, New Year's Eve, party, party ideas
11 Comments
Leftridge: Royals Add More Pieces Through Free Agency
After the ho-hum signing of designated hitter Kendrys Morales, the Kansas City Royals unleashed a flurry of punches in the 12th round, signing outfielder Alex Rios as well as starting pitchers Edinson Volquez and Kris Medlen. While two of the jabs … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Alex Rios, Brandon Leftridge, Dammit, Dayton, Edinson Volquez, Hot Stove, Kris Medlen
2 Comments
Leftridge: KC Takes “No Room for Improvement!” Approach at Winter Meetings, Apparently
Hot off of their first World Series appearance in almost three decades (when I stop and think about that, it still freaks me out and doesn’t feel quite “real”), the Kansas City Royals headed into Major League Baseball’s winter meetings … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, KC Royals, Kendrys Morales, Luke Hochevar, MLB Winter Meetings
14 Comments
Leftridge: I Need a Christmas Tree
Like the headlines suggests, I need a Christmas tree. Okay, well let me be clear: I need a new Christmas tree. See, I already have one. As I type this, there is a plastic trash bag in my basement that … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge
Tagged Brandon Leftridge, christmas, Christmas tree, Elton John fucking a fir, John Waters
25 Comments
Leftridge: Thanksgiving Guests, Ranked
The holiday season is officially here. For many, this means long travels to exotic destinations like, Akron, Ohio and Tecumseh Springs, Oklahoma where, “ugh… my family lives.” It’s a time for reflection and fellowship, both of which work best with … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge
Tagged Akron, babies, Brandon Leftridge, Calvin Johnson, Ohio, Thanksgiving
12 Comments
Leftridge: Worst Idiots Ever Jump to Cosby’s Defense
Alleged serial rapist Bill Cosby— once known for his stand-up and his classic 1980’s television show but now mostly known for *maybe* being a horrific sex predator– performed for an appreciative crowd Friday night in Florida. The night was peppered … Continue reading
Leftridge: Fresh Off World Series, Royals Seek Replacement Parts
With Major League Baseball’s off season hootenanny officially underway—Ned Yost finished third in AL Manager of the Year voting, btw—it’s time for rumors to start flying faster than insults regarding intellect and/or sexuality in the KCC comments section. So far, … Continue reading
Posted in Brandon Leftridge, Sports
Tagged Billy Butler, Brandon Leftridge, Brett Anderson, Ervin Santana, free agents, James Shields, KC Royals, Milky, Nori Aoki, offseason, Yasmany Tomas
11 Comments
