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Glazer: Why Baseball Really Doesn’t Matter Much Anymore & Not Just in Kansas City
Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio…?
Joltin’ Joe’s long gone and what was once America’s pastime is now mostly an afterthought.
"Man, I don’t even know who’s playin in the Series," is 95% of the feedback you get today at work or if you speak to ordinary people at bars or in passing. Nobody knows What’s more – and sadly – almost nobody seems to care.
Baseball, like real movies, is fading away.
Leftridge: MLB Worst of the Worst; Who Will Take Home This Year’s Coveted ‘Cy Dung’ Award?
It’s that time of year. Everywhere around us, the leaves are changing, Major League Baseball’s postseason is in full effect and throughout the land, thousands of pasty-faced sportswriters are sitting around their Smith Coronas, brows drenched in sweat, trying to determine who—WHO, DAMNIT?—deserves this year’s individual achievement awards.
And unless they have a vote, they’re simply trying to fill up column space by debating the merits of two guys who would have given them wedgies in middle school.
“Oh my! Is it Justin Verlander? He WAS 24-5 on the season, but take a close look at his VORP after night-games, adjusted for a divisional opponent’s park ratios, two days after shaving but three days removed from the last time he ate tropical fruit. In that case, you’ve gotta give it to Jacoby Ellsbury. He’s half Native American, after all.”
Hearne: Trader Joe’s Encounters Trouble in Paradise, But Don’t Blame Leawood!
Ahoy there, maties…
Loosen those barnacles and gather round while I tell a see-faring tale about Trader Joe’s ongoing aventures along the shores of Leawood. That upscale local burb famous for its proud stewardship of the color beige, wood shingle roofs and other eye-pleasing aesthetics.
Both Trader Joe’s in Leawood and Ward Parkway Center opened this past July.
But unlike its shipmates on the MU side of State Line, TJ’s Leawood landlubbers were trapped off base on two counts.
For starters, there’s no parking for TJ’s 70 shipmates at the trendy new One Nineteen center, and the sea dogs must park at other nearby centers, then be ferried over by by RED Development land schooners that run every 10 minutes on Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays.
That’s because parking is tight at One Nineteen, and with new businesses about to open it’s not gonna get any better.
"When this property fills up, it’s going to be a nightmare," says Trader Joe’s first mate Jerry Arns.
Car: Humble Scribe Poised to Purchase Sex Machine aka 2011 Lotus Evora
Don’t look now but everybone’s favorite "humble scribe" is about to go James Bond…
Stanford’s comedy club main man Craig Glazer almost pulled the trigger on trading his Porsche for a red hot new, red Lotus Evora sports car earlier this year, but the deal fell through. However the game is back afoot and Glazer’s a phone call away from flat-bedding in a sleek black Evora from St. Louis Motorsports.
"I like it a lot, it drives great and handles a step up from my Porsche because it’s smaller and lower to the ground," Glazer says. "I think speed-wise it’s about the same. The top speed is like 170."
Glazer test drove the Evora yesterday in St. Louis and has an offer on the table.
Jack Goes Confidential: Clooney, Gosling, Hoffman Shine in ‘IDES OF MARCH’
George Clooney‘s THE IDES OF MARCH isn’t so much a political thriller as a morality tale…
What we’ve got is some terrific insight into the backroom politics of Pennsylvania Governor George Clooney’s race to win the Ohio primary for his party’s presidential nomination.
And tensions are building.
Press secretary Ryan Gosling is being lured by rival campaign manager Paul Giamatti, while New York Times reporter Marisa Tomei is ready to blow-up anything that leaks out of the campaign. And she’s close to blowing the lid off a boat load of indiscretions.
All while senior campaign manager Philip Seymour Hoffman tries desperately to keep it all from falling apart.
Loyalty being the only currency you can count on—or so they say.
Written, produced, directed and co-starring George Clooney, THE IDES OF MARCH is chock-full of performances that the Academy is sure to take note of!
So does the movie favor Democrats? Or does it stay fair and balanced?
New Jack City: IMAX & AMC Get Jump On ‘M:I-4’
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IMAX and Paramount have proclaimed that the 4th installment of the MISSION IMPOSSIBLE franchise will get a 5 day jump on IMAX screens over the rest of the nation’s movie theatres!
‘MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE-GHOST PROTOCOL‘ starring Tom Cruise and slated for worldwide release Wednesday, Dec. 21st will now actually begin Pre-Opening Previews on Friday, December 16th—but only on IMAX screens.
Every other theatre has to wait.
Sounds Good: St. Vincent@Liberty Hall, Minus the Bear@Granada, Portugal. The Man@Bottleneck
All Lawrence all the time this weekend.
Sure, you could pay 800 bucks and go out and see Michael McDonald and Boz Scaggs tear up some gilfs and silver foxes.
You could.
Or you could take a little jaunt on down the road to that little hamlet known as Larry and see up-and-coming bands.
Then you could say, "Dude, I saw St. Vincent at this little theater in this little college town back before she got huge."
Instead of, "Dude, I saw Michael McDonald right before his fifth bypass surgery – he was actually dead for three minutes on the operating table before they brought his mellow groovin’ ass back to life!"
Choose wisely.
Hearne: While Star Sleeps, KU’s Bill Self Speaks; Eff Off MU – See Ya, Wouldn’t Wanna Be Ya
Good thing I’m up late working on my Platte County Landmark column…
Because in what may go down as the local scoop of the century (I know, it’s early), KU Basketball coach Bill Self laid some major league pipe to the arch rival Missouri Tigers.
If MU bolts to the SEC, forget about playing KU in the regular season, Self told the Lawrence Journal World.
"If the Tigers do decide to bolt for the SEC, however, they will do so aware there’s the chance they’ll never play KU in hoops in the regular season again," the Journal World report begins.
“ ‘To me it’s a great rivalry, one of the best in college basketball without question, but I don’t think I would be interested in having a once a year game like I did when I was at Illinois, playing Missouri,’ ” Self told the Journal-World Tuesday night.
Leftridge: Tales from the Tweet: Eric Berry’s Bad Blood, Wright is Wrong & Kevin Kietzman- Murderer?
Twitter was abuzz recently with player and pundit reaction to the Chiefs’ first victory, the enthralling start to the MLB playoffs, and the continued non-progress of David Stern’s newest drama, “The NBA Lockout: A Billionaires’ Catfight.”
I only managed to catch some of those things—well, the Chiefs’ stuff, to be precise. But I found some other funny crap, some of which was worth sharing.
Let’s jump right in, shall we?
@BFlowers (Brandon Flowers, Chiefs CB)
“Larry Bird is unstoppable in #NBA2k12 for the #PS3! Make sure you get your copy from @2ksports, in stores October 4th”
Wow… what a complete shill. I mean, I suppose he got a free copy for doing this, but really? I hope if I’m ever a multi-millionaire, I don’t resort to Tweeting for free video games. Wait… unless it WORKS. @FIFA12 is in stores now! Make sure to pick up your copy today!
Starbeams: THE TOP 5 FEATURES OF THE NEW SPRINT iPHONE
Overland Park-based Sprint is said to have agreed to pay $20 billion to buy 30.5 million iPhones from Apple over the next four years according to The Wall Street Journal. Sprint is betting the farm on this and will be the only carrier offering a truly unlimited data plan.
THE TOP 5 FEATURES OF THE NEW SPRINT iPHONE:
#5. The Angry Birds app comes pre-loaded with West Nile Virus.
#4. The Sprint iCloud that stores your documents is actually a tornado.
#3. Automatically blocks robo calls from the Kansas City Star.
Leftridge: So long, Farewell, auf Wiedersehen, Mizzou
So, I’m about to report the sort of thing that I’ve previously made fun of in no uncertain terms.
It appears that unless something drastic happens in the coming days or weeks, Mizzou and the Big XII are as good as Splitsville. After a four-hour curator’s meeting on Tuesday, MU chancellor Brady Deaton was given permission by the board to seek conference alignment elsewhere.
While it’s still far from certain, this feels, well, certain. Much more so than any of the previous speculation and rumors that have plagued the internet. Hey, when KC Star Mizzou beat writer Mike DeArmond (@sptwri) is throwing it out there (“My prediction: Missouri is out of the Big 12 Conference and into the SEC by next season.”) in his Tweets, it’s gots to be true, yo.
Hearne: Hold the Hype, Trader Joe’s Having Little Effect on Ward Parkway Center
When it comes to Ward Parkway Center, all that glitters is not Trader Joe’s…
Forget what you may have read, according to the retailers I interviewed Tuesday at the center, the much ballyhooed arrival of Trader Joe’s last summer had little to no positive effect on their businesses. And we’re talking about a fairly large cross section. Fom Sports Nutz to Green Smoke, Sprint to Claire’s, Bath & Body Works to Pier One.
Even the mall rental cop, when asked if the upstairs part of the mall had benefitted from Trader Joe’s said, "No. There’s not much traffic."
All agreed that Trader Joe’s has yet to bring any measurable additional business to their stores.
Glazer: The Humble Scribe Ponders His Mortality
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When we were really young, our parents used to tell us, "When you grow up things will be great."
Most of our memories started way back in those golden days. Remember, going outside, playing army, tag, baseball, hiding out and even talking to the neighborhood girls? Yuk! Oh yeah, and the beginning of trying to make a buck or maybe just a few quarters with a lemonade stand. If you’re like me, you lost money on that one. Sure liked drinking the kool-aid though – lots of sugar – don’t tell mom.
And we all dreamed of being big, like our moms and dads. Mostly so we could beat the hell out of the neighborhood bully.
Hearne: Will the World Wide Web End Retail As We Have Known It?
A moment of silence please for the dearly departed…
Including Circuit City, Movie Gallery Borders Books and Ultimate Electronics.
And now with Best Buy and Blockbuster, on the ropes, newspapers and magazines hanging on for dear life, it’s clear when it comes to the ravages of the World Wide Web, nothing is sacred. Raising the question of if we’re entering an era where local retail will be limited to a handful of specialty store survivors.
"If you had any doubts that nowadays people prefer to shop electronics online, the latest earnings report from Best Buy should make you a believer," CNN Money said last month. "The nation’s largest electronics ‘brick and mortar’ retailer announced a 30% decline in its net income for the second quarter. Same store sales slid 2.8%"
The flip side of that toe stubbing:
New Jack City: Chaos Reigns First Weekend @ New Nordstrom’s Rack
First Trader Joe’s, next Jack in the Box, now Nordstrom’s Rack…
Kansas City is on fire with trendy new businesses hitting town. So after writing about Nordstrom’s new Rack at 95th and Quivira a couple of weeks back I decided to take on the masses and check it out this past weekend…
Unfortunately, I went by Saturday afternoon—two days after its grand opening – not a good idea. The parking lot was jammed forcing me to park clear down by Gordman’s to the south and walk and walk and walk to the Rack.
New Jack City: The Case of the Missing Clock Hands or Time Flies in Downtown Overland Park
Been a while since we’ve given downtown Overland Park’s hallowed-if-unpredictable timepiece a second glance.
You may recall an earlier column this year in which I noted that the various times displayed on the towering clock tower’s four faces were out of whack.
Well, a check today found the following; the clock’s north and south faces are (finally) giving the correct time. And the east face of the venerable timepiece overlooking the city’s charming downtown is running approximately 13 minutes behind.
Confusing, but liveable.
Starbeams: Top 5 Reasons KC’s a Great Place to Retire, Cain Rules, Christie Too Liberal
Kansas City is the 9th-best U.S. metropolitan area to retire in, according to a ranking conducted by Sperling’s Best Places.
Top 5 Reasons Kansas City Is A Great Place To Retire:
#5. If you fall and break your hip in Westport, you’re just another patron.
#4. You can usually find a comfortable mattress on the side of the highway.
#3. The entire city drives 20 miles per hour in the passing lane.
#2. The highlight of everyone’s day is taking a nap.
#1. You have no risk of heart attacks from attending exciting playoff games.
Donnelly: Sporting Earn Point at San Jose As Playoff Race Gets Insane
Sporting Kansas City narrowly averted disaster Saturday with a late-game goal to salvage a draw against one of the worst teams in the league, the San Jose Earthquakes…
To put it bluntly, the game was horrible. In part, beause of to the postage stamp San Jose calls home, which gave me flashbacks to Community America Ballpark Side rant: How in the hell did we ever play there? And how much did opposing teams have to just dread going in and playing on that tiny field that radically alters the strategy and flow of games?
Praise be to LIVESTRONG!
Haley, Cassel, Succop Stave Off Executioner: Go Crazy Folks, Go Crazy
So I was giving some serious consideration to doing a Whitlock-esque, “Team Grades” for the Chiefs at the quarter point of the season. You know, “Defense gets a ___ because of blah blah blah, Special Teams get a _____ for the following reasons.”
And then it hit me: Truthfully, no facet of this team would get anything above a low D-. Most would be F’s. After all, one 100% on a pop quiz doesn’t negate the fact that you haven’t handed in anything else the entire year.
But I’m tired of the negativity. Really, I am. It’s no more fun to ridicule this team with spiteful words than it is to read about it.
Therefore, I’m going to devote this column to positivity. And this weekend, there was a lot to be positive about. Let’s start with the Chiefs, and the season’s first triumphant win.
Hearne: Local Movie Powerhouse Dickinson Theatres Drops Out of Star
Talk about gone in 60 seconds…
Just like that one the the Kansas City Star‘s premier advertisers – Dickinson Theatres – has gone missing. Sources say the heavy hitter, locally owned movie exhibitor quit the Star as of October 1st. Dickinson had been a seven day a week advertiser.
However its flight from print isn’t so much a sign of today’s difficult times, as the trend of moviegoers no longer consulting newspapers for movie times.
"I saw a survey recently that said that nationally 84 percent of moviegoers get their information on movie times from places other than newspapers," says movie industry veteran Jack Poessiger who writes for KCC. "And I spoke with someone at a movie convention in Las vegas who told me 92 percent of moviegoers were getting their movie times from places other than newspapers."
This isn’t the first time Dickinson or other exhibitors threatened to yank their ads out of the local daily, sources say.
