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Whinery: Bilderberger’s 2012 Meeting & New Edition @ Sprint Center
Chantilly, Virginia…
Who will the Bilderbergers be choosing for President this year?
For those of you who may not know about the Bilderberg meetings, it’s a yearly gathering of “Elites” with around 150 attendees from primarily North America and Western Europe. The meetings are closed to the press and public. It’s rumored that they do “little things” like pick world leaders and strategize the “New World Order” during the confab.
Here are some “coincidences” concerning the Bilderberg involvement in choosing the President of the United States of America for you skeptics in the audience.
Glazer: Stock Crash & Tough Times Could Cost Obama
Hey sports fans, looks like we’ve got some MORE PROBLEMS with the stock market…
Just what we didn’t need, right? Yeah, we’re looking at a possible CRASH. Oil is down to $83 a barrel, gold is up over $1,600 to $1,622.00 from a low in the $1,500’s just over a week ago. And now the DOW – oh boy – is down more than 1,000 points in just four weeks.
Trouble ahead?
Starbeams: Kansas City Garners Yet Another ‘Fat’ Award & End of the World
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How did Kansas City rank among the Worst Dressed Cities in the U.S? Travel and Leisure magazine just named us the WORST-DRESSED people in the U.S.
#1.) Anchorage, Alaska
#2.) Salt Lake City, Utah
#3.) Baltimore, Maryland
#4.) Orlando, Florida
#5.) San Antonio, Texas
#6.) Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas
#7.) Atlanta, Georgia
#8.) Portland, Maine
#9.) Phoenix/Scottsdale, Arizona
#10.) Kansas City, Missouri
We only made the top ten because they don’t make stylish clothing in our size.
Donnelly: Ramblings of a Music Junkie – Friday at Wakarusa
The Wakarusa Festival– near Ozark, Arkansas and atop Mulberry Mountain– kicked off Thursday.
Unfortunately, due to other real world obligations, I didn’t make it down until Friday afternoon. At first glance, it seems like attendance is a bit down from last year, maybe due in part to a little bit of a weaker lineup. But the lighter attendance meant it was easier to get around, shorter to wait in lines, and just more comfortable for everyone in general. Plus, the weather was about perfect, upper 70s and low 80s, a little overcast.
I rolled into the campgrounds and found a spot underneath a tree, threw up my tent, snagged a coldy, and headed for the stages. I was just in time to catch Split Lip Rayfield on the second biggest stage, the Revival Tent. And it was kinda nice to be under the big top since a light mist had started falling.
Leftridge: Royals Recap, May: Holy Crap, They Won More Than They Lost
If the old adage about April showers begetting May flowers stands true, it would stand to reason that the gigantic golden shower that April took upon the early Royals campaign must have CERTAINLY led to a beautiful, vibrant rebirth over the past month, right? Well, not exactly. But there WERE some positive takeaways, I swear.
And like last month’s “April Recap,” I’m dedicated to finding them. It’s too easy to shit on a team like the Royals, but really, what good does it do to pile-on? Incessant Scribe complaints about what a failure Eric Hosmer is shaping up to be won’t make him any better. Similarly, thousands of whiny comments screaming about how “Walmart Glass” is ruining this team and should be burned alive (after being made to sell the team, of course), won’t accomplish anything.
What do we honestly think—that our wild internet complaints are going to cause a lot of introspection and soul-searching from the team’s heartless owner? That he’s going to read the astute observations from KCButtLicker6969 and say, “you know what? I AM cheap! I DO need to sign Johnny Fastball for $30,000,000 a year! What in the fuck was I thinking?! I should probably kill myself! La la la la la, I just shit my pants! OOPS!”
I mean, this COULD happen, but it seems highly unlikely.
So while we sit here, stewing in our own grotesque Kansas City baseball filth, let’s at least try to stay positive, at least for the next few paragraphs. It won’t kill us. It may even make us feel a bit better.
Glazer: Hot Fun in the Summertime Revisited
Go ahead and get it out of your system…
"Hey, that was yesterday Glazer!" But I still say it’s the times of our lives that matter most. If not, then what?
I feel kinda sorry for the teenagers of today in a way. I think they’re limited as far as what to do with their nights. Not like their older brothers and sisters, right? Remember?
I know you do. Summer. School’s out, baby.
We were 16 and badass. There was the four year old Mustang I snagged for 600 bucks (today it would be worth ten or twenty times that, but who knew?). It’s Friday night and oh brother, what a night! First we’d pick up our best buds and they’d each pitch in a buck for gas. The guy who put in the most got to ride shotgun. Yeah, we’d fill that puppy up for about $3.25 or close. Enough to do KC!
Jack Goes Confidential: Queen Theron Kicks Ass For ‘Fountain Of Youth’
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This sure isn’t your parents’ fairytale anymore!
Universal’s SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN is a darker, edgier re-imagination of the classic fairytale.
Another historical rewrite. Except this time it’s served up as an epic action-adventure—yet still rated PG-13 to make it accessible to wide audiences.
We all know the story.
Here evil, age-defying queen Charlize Theron is taking over the kingdom in a brutal way while thriving for eternal life and beauty.
"You cannot defeat me, I’ve lived too many lives," she says.
Leftridge: Ween Calls it Quits, Leaving Trail of Sad Stoners in Their Wake
Last year, seminal 80’s/90’s pop-rock superstars REM announced that they were splitting it up after nearly three decades of making music. Some were distraught. Others wavered between “eh, what are you gonna do? They had a good run,” and “who cares?” Most people, however, said, “they were still a band? Weird.”
On Tuesday, odd-rock duo Ween announced that THEY were splitting up after 25 years of making music, and most people said, “who?” And while calloused and slightly sad, that response felt just about right– an indelicate testament to a couple of underrated musical geniuses.
For most people, their only exposure to Ween stemmed from one of a few places:
An appearance in 1994’s moderately funny SNL-skit-turned-feature-length-abortion It’s Pat.
Beavis and Butthead’s critique of their only minor hit, “Push th’ Little Daisies,” a bitterly joyful ode to wishing death upon someone you used to love.
“Voodoo Lady” a track about, well, a voodoo lady, that was featured in the movies Road Trip and Dude, Where’s My Car?
“Ocean Man,” from 1997’s brilliant, nautically themed record The Mollusk that was featured in the Spongebob Squarepants movie and in a 2003 Honda Civic commercial.
Those minor instances—with, perhaps, a few others that I may be forgetting—regrettably sum up Ween’s lack of success.
For me, however, Ween was so much more.
Edelman: Not a Normal Week; KC Hosts Four New Broadway Musicals Starting Tuesday
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It’s not every week that four new Broadway musicals come to town…
You’re more likely to find OKLAHOMA! in the park. But the six days starting this Tuesday (Monday’s “dark,” as we say in show biz) can boast just that.
The week gets started with a musical about a family dealing with their biopolar, prescription drug-addicted, possibly suicidal mom. No, MARY POPPINS doesn’t come to town til next year. The aforementioned musical is NEXT TO NORMAL (June 5-10 at the Kauffman Center) , an amazing journey through contemporary suburban life. Kids get high, Mom goes to therapy– and did I mention it was funny as hell? N2N won a passel of awards on Broadway, including the Tony for best music and book and the Pulitzer—one of only about 10 musicals to ever win that drama prize (RENT was the last one). Oh, and the show rocks—composer Tom Kitt scored Green Day’s Broadway entry, AMERICAN IDIOT and he wrote the music for BRING IT ON, which opens this summer in the Big Apple.
Definitely not your grandmother’s Broadway musical.
Sounds Good:Wakarusa Ahead, Blitzen Trapper@Riot Room, Devil Makes Three Crossroads & Buzz Beach Ball
It is upon us…
The Wakarusa Festival is this weekend (finally!) down on beautiful Mulberry Mountain in northeast Arkansas. Who am I most excited to see you ask? Well, here’s my preliminary list, which is sure to change as we go:
Soulive & Lettuce, G-Love, The Avett Bros., Del McCoury Band, SAVOY, Nathaniel Rateliff, Lyrics Born, Ghostland Observatory and Matisyahu.
Anyone else heading down for the weekend? If so, who are you looking forward to most?
If not, here’s what’s happening in the KC/Lawrence area this week…
Starbeams: George Brett Tweets for Lost Do, Kim Kardashian as Minnie Mouse
George Brett turned to Twitter to help find his lost dog Wednesday morning. And 10,000 Twitter followers were frantically searching for a dog that refused to sign autographs.
*******
A raccoon was stranded for hours atop a tall pole in the Northland Tuesday. A maintenance worker
was able to knock the raccoon from the top and its nasty fall to the ground was caught on video.
Residents believe the pole-sitting raccoon is not sick, but it’s not wellllllll.
Hearne: Caveat Emptor @ Not So ‘Picturesque’ Oceans of Fun
Tis the season…
To go swimming, of course. And with Memorial Day weekend in the rearview mirror, the heat is on for locals to sign up at local swimming holes, hit the country club or in many cases…head to Oceans of Fun. You know, that paragon of pay-per-swim "amusement park" located near Liberty alonside former Chiefs owner Lamar Hunt‘s other brainchild, Worlds of Fun.
Here’s how Wikipedia describes Oceans:
"A tropically-themed water park that opened on May 31, 1982 in Kansas City, Missouri to celebrate World’s of Fun’s 10th year anniversary. At the time it was opened it was the largest water park in the world. It is owned and operated by Cedar Fair Entertainment Co."
Which doesn’t, of course, speak to the "experience" awaiting families and swinging singles in search of giant slides, wave pools, "lazy rivers" and the like.
Glazer: Big 12 Goes from Near Death to on Top of the World
Just a season back there was great fear that the Big 12 would vanish completely…
It seemed like just about everybody wanted to jump ship. Why? Money of course. Around here the big surprise was Missouri leaving for the SEC. Losing Nebraska was a bit shocking. Nobody much cared about Colorado leaving, but Missouri going was a blow.
There was all the talk that nobody much wanted Kansas because of the small TV market and it’s football didn’t matter. The fact that Kansas was a great school and had a legendary basketball program didn’t seem to make much of a difference. Nope, it was all about football, TV contracts, money and the power that it brings. Nothing else.
In the past the geographic location of your school seemed to matter.
New Jack City: Memorial Day, a Celebration of Pricey Foods & Mattresses
Inquiring minds want to know…
Why all the huge crowds this past holiday weekend at Whole Foods Market with its hefty pricing when we’re supposed to be in such a fragile economy? Evidently the state of the union doesn’t apply to upscale shoppers or someone neglected to let them in on the recession.
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Why can’t Kansas grocery operators convince Topeka that we shoppers would prefer to make our beer and wine purchases at the same time—and place—where we’re shopping for food items?
Just like it’s done on the Missouri side of the state line!
Hearne: Mancow Sizes Up the (Fat) Women & (Skinny) Dudes of Kansas City
The Cow is, well, wow…
It’s no secret that Kansas City refugee and syndicated shock jock Erich "Mancow" Muller is agast at the fattening of America, specifically Kansas City. Confirming our "rankings" in all of those "fattest city" magazine "surveys." And further, that’s been hammered home to him during his frequent homecomings of late to his all-time favorite concert venue, Knuckleheads Saloon.
Let’s flesh it out a bit.
"The women at Knuckleheads were shockingly fat," Mancow says. "Here’s what it is; I mean, I’ve had every expert imaginable on my radio show and I know why we’re fat. because our food is great and it’s cheap, that’s why. Everybody’s fat because they’re eating fat, cheap food."
Glazer: Scribe Dodges Murder Rap During Puerto Rican Sexcation
"He’s going to murder me and throw me in the ocean!"
That’s what my ex-girlfriend Jessie was yelling when the cops came and got me, on our last last day in Puerto Rico last week.
WTF? How did that happen?
I had known Jess, the girl I took with me on that my one-week, tropical dream vacation for more than a decade. She’s worked at Stanford’s in Westport in the early 2000’s as a cocktail girl. She was maybe 18 then. We dated – or rather saw each other – often those first couple years. She was a very pretty girl with a great body.
Everyone wanted to "date" her, but I was her main guy.
However, she was a little out there even then. Very wild and very high strung. Years later she vanished. We never spent more than a night or two together after that. Then she showed back up around two years ago, this time out as a body building type with an even better body. She was pushing 30 but was still a smoking hot beauty.
Who wouldn’t want her? Well in time, lots of people.
Donnelly: Sporting Dominate 1st Half, Hold on for 2-1 Win Over San Jose
Sunday afternoon’s game against visiting MLS leader San Jose was one Sporting Kansas City absolutely needed.
After starting the season red hot, the boys in blue had not won a game in over a month. Their offense had been flagging and their defense was becoming more and more prone to suffering breakdowns at the worst possible moments.
On Sunday in front of a sold out LIVESTRONG Sporting Park, KC flashed back to early season form- at least for the first half- and pulled out an important 2-1 win.
But before we get into that, let’s just get something out of the way right now: the officiating was miserable. Total nightmare. At one point in the second half the ref called a drop ball after Zusi was taken down near the edge of the box. No idea why. And that was after he walked around for five minutes and talked to his assistant, had a chat with nearly every player on the field, and, I’m guessing, consulted a magic eight ball.
OK, back to the game.
Leftridge: Haus Adds to Sausagefest in Martini Corner
While living in Chicago, I was a 20-minute bus ride away from the holy Mecca of encased meats, Hot Doug’s. Perhaps you’ve seen it on the Food Network, or caught Tony Bourdain extolling the virtues of the world’s greatest sausage superstore on the Travel Channel. Maybe you’ve been there yourself and stood in line before their morning opening. The line is long—it wraps around the building and down the adjacent sidewalk—but it moves fast, OK Joe’s style, and before you know it, you’re in front of Doug himself, calmly trying to spit out your order, but stuttering with unavoidable, anticipatory glee. So many choices, so little stomach.
Do you want the Foie Gras and Sauternes Duck Sausage with Truffle Aioli, Foie Gras Mousse and Fleur de Sel? Perhaps. It’s pretty rich, though. Maybe you want the Three Cheese and Beer Chicken Sausage with Pesto Mayonnaise, Roma Tomatoes and Smoked Mozzarella Cheese? Well, yeah… that sounds good, too. Don’t forget to save room for the French fries, improbably and deliciously cooked in duck-fat on Fridays and Saturdays.
Jesus. I’m getting a food-boner just thinking about this.
So anyway, after being spoiled for so long—after cramming your gullet with so much delicious ridiculousness—you begin to experience withdrawals when taken away from your precious ground, tubular animal. Let’s call them the “sausage shakes.” What’s a Kansas Citian to do?
Well, it’s not fair to compare the freshly minted Haus at 31st and Gillham to Hot Doug’s; the former is but a newborn, and the latter is in an unparalleled, unmatchable league of its own.
So here’s what you can expect when you’re expecting (to dine on German food at Haus):
Lowe: Time Out for the True Meaning of Memorial Day
I asked Hearne if I could pen this tribute to my Grandfather and Father, and to your families Military Veterans living and dead on this Memorial Day.
This is their story.
Ninety- five years ago on May 26th, 1917, my Grandfather Charles, a Marine disembarked in France to win the war "over there". Some 20 days later, he found himself in a charnel house known as Belleau Woods. Sustaining machine gun wounds in the stomache and mustard gassed, his full measure of devotion, was brief and bloody, although he survived his wounds until after the war. Descriptions of the battle seem, to me, understated in view of the astonishing casualties.
Edelman: Unicorn Gets The Rapture (& Fred Phelps)
The far-from-friendly Fred Phelps family usually finds itself outside the theater, ranting on the sidewalk about some wacky message from God.
Well, welcome inside the Unicorn Theatre, oh my Topeka brothers—it’s probably not the one your Scripture had in mind, but the EVERYDAY RAPTURE (now thru June 10) has arrived and you’re in it.
When I saw this smart, hilarious yet touching show on Broadway, I thought the Unicorn would be perfect for EVERYDAY RAPTURE. After all—how many cutting edge theaters can you find within 100 miles of the Kansas state capital? Well, praise the Lord and pass the intermission—Cynthia Levin and company procured the rights to the first-ever production of this little gem outside NYC. Now you can see it and have fun with the Phelps’ kin yourself.
