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Starbeams: Anderson Cooper Comes Out, Tom & Katie Split, Michigan DUIs, Joco Sex
CNN’s Anderson Cooper finally admitted….he really is Ellen DeGeneres.
*******
It was sad to hear about Katie and Tom but will their daughter Suri keep her job as the voice that screws up my iPhone?
Donnelly: Chalk it up to Bad Luck? No, Not Again. Enough with the Excuses.
Sporting continued its mini-slide over the weekend, with a 1-0 loss against fabricated rivals, the Chicago Fire at LIVESTRONG Sporting Park...
That despite that KC outshot the visitors 27-10.
Headlines from some of the other publications around town covering Sporting spoke of a "dominant" performance from the boys in blue. Really?
I wonder if they saw the more relevant stat, "shots on goal," which showed KC with only the slightest edge at 5-4. Let’s be honest, KC takes a ton of shots that never test the opposing keeper or even require a save. So it’s no surprise that they routinely, massively outshoot their opponents, even in the games they lose.
Fake hustle, anyone?
Jack Goes Confidential: Web-Slinging Andrew Garfield Wows as ‘AMAZING SPIDER-MAN’
I’ll be perfectly honest, attending THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN didn’t rank very high on my excitement meter…
After all, this was not a sequel or prequel, but rather a completely recast reboot of director Sam Raimi‘s original.
And only 10 years after Tobey Maguire first flew.
But guess what? I was pleasantly surprised as this fresh approach to cross breeding genetics put more emphasis on Peter Parker’s back story as the webbed one.
Hearne: Layoffs, What Layoffs? Star Sales Staff Pigs Out, Celebrates $uccess
Long time no boots to asses, what gives?
I can’t remember the last time the Kansas City Star unleashed a round of cutbacks and/or layoffs. And that’s saying something. Yeah, they’re still choking out employee furloughs – forced, unpaid vacations. – And while I hate to jinx anyone – after all, I was one of the hundreds that took a bullet a few years back – it does seem quite remarkable.
I mean, the newspaper’s obituary page is chock full of former readers on a daily basis – so it’s not like its readership ranks are growing.
So what’s the deal?
Turns out the worm has temporarily turned at 18th and Grand and ad revenues are up, up, up…
Hearne: Pitch Getting Better, Still Struggling with Print Content, Sex Ads
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Give it up for The Pitch...
The record store rag I ran and built into an alternative newsweekly was on life support for years before Village Voice (aka New Times) unloaded it last year on some dudes in Nashville named Southcomm.
The betting money being that Southcomm would evolve the aging hippie rag into something fresher, flashier and less formulaic than it had become under its former owners. And that it would go after the upscale advertisers the Star‘s upstart weekly Ink was attracting. Advertisers that wouldn’t advertise in the Pitch at gunpoint.
To do so, the Pitch would need to start dialing more content into its all-important (revenue-producing) print paper, clean up the tacky sex ads in back and start printing on magazine stock instead of newsprint like it does in Nashville.
Well, one out of three ain’t bad – not in baseball anyway.
Today: Don’t Waste Your Money on ‘Ted’ – Rent ‘Ishtar’
Far be it from me to lobby for you guys to become homebodies…
Get out, party, have a good time, go to a concert, movie, comedy club – anything. Why waste away at home if you don’t have to?
There are times however to pull back and not get sucker-punched by Hollywood.
And one such time is staring you in the face in the form of the new Mark Wahlberg movie Ted.
I know, I know, Jack stuck up a bunch of fingers and it’s taking names and kicking butt at the box office. But don’t get fooled, like I did yesterday.
Stick with the laffs you’ll get watching the trailer and quit while you’re ahead.
New Jack City: Hot Times On The Big Screen
Seth MacFarlane‘s raunchy TED beat expectations by over $20 million in ticket sales this weekend!
By grossing an estimated $54.1 million in North American theaters, the talking-dirty teddy laffer has become the best-ever opening of an original R-rated comedy. By comparison TED bested THE HANGOVER by $9.1 million which had held the record with a $45 million dollar opening during the summer of 2009.
And when it comes to word of mouth—which will keep TED around for a while—the hit comedy has scored an impressive A- Cinemascore.
Speaking of scoring…
Glazer: How KC Wasted the Last 40 Years Going Nowhere Fast
The Star’s Randy Covitz wrote a nice story about Kansas City being a big sports town back in 1973…
That was the year baseball’s All-Star game last came here. And what a year it was. As Covitz points out, we had FOUR PRO SPORTS TEAMS, hockey, basketball, football and baseball. It was the last time Kansas City played host to the All Star game.
Hard to believe that was 40 years ago, nearly half a century. Damn.
Whinery: The Winners & Losers on Health Care, Mostly the Losers
In one of the most shocking decisions to come down ever, “The Affordable Care Act” was found Constitutional by the Supreme Court of the United States…
Chief Justice John Roberts had to rewrite the law and convert the mandate to a tax in order come up with
the majority opinion. That’s something I don’t think the court has ever done before.
But who cares right?
Millions are uninsured and this law is gonna provide universal coverage and reduce costs.
HARDLY!
Glazer: Bogus KU Pot Bust a Sham – Let it Go, People
Lions and Tigers and Bears…oh, my!
Let the insane, stupid witch hunt begin. A weed dealer – lord save the planet and shoot him fast – sold smoke to some KU Student Athletes.
What’s the world coming to? Let’s ruin their lives, their careers – we’ll show ’em.
EVIL DO GOODERS TO THE RESCUE, HERE THEY COME.
Starbeams: Janet Jackson Super Stunt, George Toma, Microsoft @ Oak Park & Bruce Chen
A federal judge finally threw out the Janet Jackson Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction case. Thanks for the timely response, replied no one who worked for CBS after 2004.
*******
Former groundskeeper George Toma will become the 25th member of the Royals Hall of Fame at a ceremony planned for August 31st at the K. Unfortunately, George had the team’s highest On Base Percentage from 1986-1995.
Hearne: The Truth, the Whole Truth, Nothing but the Truth About Alamo Drafthouse Mainstreet
Let me say this about that…
Some of you – don’t look at me like that, you know who you are – are under the mistaken impression that because I’ve been critical of the Alamo Drafthouse‘s ridiculously harsh no texting/no talking policy, I’m down on the place.
Totally bogus.
Two-plus-two usually does make four, I’ll grant you that, but despite my liberal views, trust me, I’m neither a text-a-holic nor an in-movie yapper.
Just a realist.
That said, I’m going to share my experience at the Alamo’s bold, new downtown venture, The Mainstreet. Because on Wednesday I accompanied a party of five to the Alamo’s grand, soft opening.
And no, I didn’t get yelled at, kicked out or anything of the kind.
Starbeams: It Was So Hot in Kansas City Yesterday That…
It was so hot….
******* The All-Star Game has been moved to the Crown Center Ice Terrace.
******* I saw Larry Moore in a tank top.
******* The Humane Society is upset because I left my dog inside the HOUSE.
Hearne: Is That Former Chief Tony Gonzalez in 2013 Mustang Commercial?
Close but no Tony G…
You know what they say, looks can be deceiving. Big time in the case of a Ford Mustang commercial that’s been bumping around YouTube in recent months. And comments section habitue Rick wasn’t the only one to finger former Chiefs tight end Tony Gonzalez – now with Atlanta – as the dude on the street twice seen ogling a new 2013 Mustang in the spot.
Little wonder.
The chef suit attired guy with the wild ass tattoo on his right forearm is the spitting image of Tony G.
Glazer: Scribe Forecasts Four More for Obama with Health Care Win
The Supreme Court upheld The affordable Care Act yesterday, Obama‘s health care reform…
This was considered the President’s big achievement, and it passed five votes to four in a nail biter. But just like in sports, a win is a win.
The question being, did We the People win?
For many the answer is NO.
Jack Goes Confidential: Wes Anderson Scores With Stylistic ‘Moonrise Kingdom’
If you’re into Wes Anderson films then we know what you’ll be doing this weekend.
Going to see MOONRISE KINGDOM, of course…
Don’t know who Anderson is?
He’s the filmmaker of such cult favorites as RUSHMORE, BOTTLE ROCKET, THE FANTASTIC MR. FOX and THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS.
Anderson’s latest cinematic offering is MOONRISE KINGDOM, a comedic drama set on an island off the coast of New England during the summer of 1965.
The story tells of two 12 year olds—a Khaki scout and an island girl—who make a secret pact and run away together into the wilderness of the place. And now the local authorities turn the place upside down to get the kids.
Sounds kinda dull, doesn’t it?
Today: Lezak’s ‘LRC’ Predicts Long, Hot Summer & Record High Temps
The heat is on and unfortunately, it’s here to stay…
So says Channel 41 weather wonk Gary Lezak. That according Lezak’s Recurring Cycle (LRC) theory.
"The thing is this," Lezak says. "The weather pattern is the same one that set up last fall, according to my LRC. The one that brought us the lowest amount of snow and the warmest March ever in Kansas City history. And it will continue until a new pattern sets up in September or October."
Lezak’s bottom line:
Jack Goes Confidential: ‘Magic Mike’ Dishes Sex, Drugs & G-String Beefcake
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Talk about having your dessert up front…
The women members of our screening audience were squealing with delight at almost the very first scene of MAGIC MIKE.
Why?
Because a naked Channing Tatum was rolling out of bed showing off his firm naked arse to their delight. Welcome to Warner Brothers low-brow, summer beefcake serving of MAGIC MIKE, a film that takes us into the sordid world of male strippers and operates on the premise of:
"You’ve got to deal with what you’ve got."
Jack Goes Confidential: Wise-Ass ‘TED’ Is Foul-Mouthed Hilarious
Family Guy’s Seth MacFarland finally gets his crack at the big screen and he doesn’t disappoint…
With TED MacFarland gets to push the envelope way beyond the TV limits and be totally politically incorrect.
TED tells of Mark Wahlberg as a kid and his magic Christmas wish that turned into a true miracle. His beloved teddy bear coming to life and becoming sort of a major child star sensation—even making an appearance with Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show. Wahlberg and Ted were going to be buddies for life.
Therein lies the problem.
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