Talk about getting the run around…

Between Lawrence police and the city prosecutor, I’m going to venture a guess that drowsy drunken city KC councilman Quinton Lucas has a decent shot at dodging a pretty nasty public relations bullet. One where the embattled Kansas City mayoral candidate’s recent DUI charges are concerned.

In the early reporting, Lucas made it sound as if he was doing the world a favor and taking the high road (pun intended) by sleeping off the two to two a half beers he claims to have consumed over like a three hour period. That while in his car parked just off Mass in the heart of Lawrence’s party zone.

Instead of hot footing it back to KC in an impaired condition,

But wait!

Since when did two and a half beers over such a period of time make for a 0.08 blood alcohol level?

Since never…not according to most experts.

“The general rule of thumb is that 2 standard drinks (12 ounce beers) in the first hour will raise your BAC to 0.05%, and 1 standard per hour thereafter will maintain that level,” according to breathalyzer maker Andatech.

According to the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission a 160 pound male would need to exceed 3 beers within one hour to be “legally intoxicated” and you can subtract 0.15 for each hour after drinking.

In other words, Lucas getting hammered on two and a half beers over however many hours is bull hockey.

On top of which, why do you think Lawrence police arrested Lucas if he was stone sober?

Lawrence police declined to confirm that Lucas was administered a DUI test or if he declined. But common sense – combined with his obvious fib about the number of drinks he had that made him wary of driving – tells us that one or the other went down.

“If I had only had two and a half beers over that time frame and the police stopped me, I would have insisted they give me a DUI test because I’d know I was sober,” says longtime Westport bar owner Bill Nigro.

The flip side of Lucas’s argument that passing out in his car was the right thing to do:

Every Missouri lawyer is taught in law school that you can get a DUI for being drunk in your car, even in your own driveway, says a local attorney.

“The DUI laws of many states apply if you were in ‘actual physical control’ of a vehicle—even if you weren’t actually driving,” says dui.drivinglaws.org.

“It surprises many drivers (especially those who pull over to ‘sleep it off’) to learn that the DUI laws of most states also prohibit drivers from ‘operating’ or being in ‘actual physical control’ of a car while under the influence. In other words, you can get a DUI without actually driving.”

“We know drunk driving is bad. So what about … drunk parking?” writes the Canadian website Macleans. “Sleeping a boozy night off in the car might sound responsible. But it can still lead to criminal charges.

” For decades, judges across the country have wrestled with what it means for an impaired individual to have ‘care or control’ of a vehicle when they aren’t technically driving—and although the country’s top court issued a recent ruling that provided much-needed clarity, many motorists remain oblivious to the law. ‘People don’t know you could actually not be driving—you could be sleeping in your car, or even sitting and waiting for a tow truck—and still be charged and convicted,’ says Jonathan Lapid, a veteran Toronto lawyer who has defended impaired-driving suspects for 25 years.”

Points to be considered include:

• location of the driver
• location of the car
• location of the keys
• whether the car’s engine was running, and
• whether the driver was awake or asleep.

“Basically, the jury is being asked to decide whether the motorist was close enough to being able to set the car in motion that it presented a danger to the public.”

The odds of Lucas passing the Missouri bar without knowing such basic law…would you believe, zero?

Fortunately for Lucas most local media – starting with the Kansas City Star which has all but endorsed him for KC mayor next year – were either unaware of or too lazy to do the reporting. Thus allowing locals unaware of basic DUI laws to buy into the lame excuse that Lucas was taking the high road.

The actual high road would have been for him to walk two or three blocks and shell out 100 bucks for a hotel room before passing out… in which case Lucas could have avoided a pair of campaign killing mugshots and a trip to the slammer.

As for Lucas’s two and a half beer tall tale…

“Nobody ever has more than two beers,” scoffs one area police chief. “If I had a dollar for every time someone said that to me…For some reason people seem to think that two is the magic number and you’re going to believe them.”