Hearne: Queen of Mean Lisa Lampanelli on Kicking Butt, Her Love Life & Johnny Dare

Kinder gentler? No effing way!

Queen of Mean funny grrrl Lisa Lampanelli may have – at long last – found the dude of her dreams, but no way is she about to lighten up on the male species or any other of the many targets she infamously burns at the verbal stake.

“No, that’s the whole point,” Lampanelli says. “There’s so much in the world that annoys me. In fact, my act has even gotten more edgy because now I’ve got my own personal bodyguard.”

Translation: gone are the days when riled up or overly-enthusiastic comedy clubbers can backslap her or participate in sundry verbal indignities sans fear of repercussion.

Lampanelli and new bodyguard/beau Jimmy Big Balls hit the Uptown Theater Friday.

As for Mr. Right, “he’s the perfect guy for a girl on the road all the time,” Lampanelli says. “He’s really the wind beneath my wings – but my wings are a lot bigger than Bette Midler – so he’d better blow really hard.”

Contrary to claims that Lampanelli broke the news of her engagement to Jimmy on the Tonight Show earlier this month, Lampanelli says, “We announced it by accident on TMZ at a gay event last August.”

That after meeting two years earlier prior to Jimmy making his romantic move. A three hour phone call and three hour lunch later…

“That was it,” Lampanelli says. “I’m so hot it only takes a guy two years to fall in love with me.”

As always, Lampanelli has big plans once she hits the Cowtown. As in a shopping spree at Halls on the Plaza.

“Absolutely,” she says. “They may even be the place I buy my wedding shoes at. I love my Halls!”

Also high on Lamp’s list is a trip to see her old pal Johnny Dare on The Rock 98.9 FM.

In order to make it to Dare’s show Friday morning, Lampanelli is leaving Wichita by limo right after her show Thursday, heading here.

“I think Johnny is secretly an Italian Paisano,” she says. “So i’m anxious to see if he hits it off with Jimmy.”