Valentine: Celebrating Hate & Craig Glazer

Original art by Mark Valentine

I was driving by the new Stanford & Sons comedy club on 119th Street the other day…

And it made me appreciate that Stanford’s owner Craig Glazer is an entertaining sports writer. Every week he makes us ride his own personal emotional roller coaster as he alternately loves then hates the Kansas City Chiefs, the team’s coaches, its fans and sometimes the city itself.

As the football season wound its way down, Craig would modify his rants and appear on his own comedy club stage.

This one’s for you:

The Chiefs can technically still make the playoffs…

“Technically” is what Craig says when asked if he’s still a Chiefs fan.

Craig got an invitation to a big wedding. One of The Chiefs is getting married next month…

So Craig is pleased that at least one Chief will get a ring this year.

Timing is everything.  It is what puts the “eek’ in losing streak

Craig’s always been like a stern father figure for The Chiefs.

It’s like, he cares – he wants the best for everyone. On the other hand, he knows that even when you change the pacifier… the sucking remains.

And every season has its bright spots; the Chiefs are undefeated…in games where they outscored their opponents.

Every season also has its low points; a Chiefs linesman tried to kill himself by jumping in front of a bus…but it swerved and went right past him

Every team has its standout players. How does Jamaal Charles take such a beating play after play?

He’s taken more shots than Lance Armstrong.

There’s concern that The Chiefs are employing Native American themes.

Will the name and the Tomahawk Chop go away at the hands of the politically correct?

Craig once suggested we change the name of the team to The Tampons – they may not be the best…but they’re certainly up there

Craig still hasn’t weighed in on the NFL’s Head Trauma Lawsuits.

I know the players were outraged after the report was slowly explained to them.

At times, Craig Glazer has been a fearless commentator. He once confronted our former coach, “No offense, but I think you should be fired, Romeo.”

You could hear the disbelief in Romeo’s voice when he replied, “No offense? How did you get a copy of The Chiefs Playbook, Craig?”

As a long time reader, I appreciate the most important function of Craig’s sports writing.

It gives us a chance to hate each other for something other than politics.