Maria: Hooligan Holiday 2010 – The Good, The Bad, The Fat

I hate dancing and I danced last night.

On the stage, actually. That tall girl in ivory, awkwardly swaying with a Boulevard Wheat in hand? That was me.

A far cry from my fledgling days at the Hawk, Hooligan Holiday swiped my Beaumont Club V-Card with a stacked itinerary:

A fashion show, four performers, and a questionable burlesque number (more on that later). Thrown by none other than Rico Dejoie (a.k.a. DJ Rico).

It was a drunken spectacle that stands unparalleled in my budding list of party-going experiences.

Either I had a wonderful time, or I was too drunk to care. It was the perfect end to a victorious semester of school. I can’t wait for next year.

Oh, and Irv Da Phenom was there – if any of you care. I know I don’t, but as a good "journalist" I should probably mention this.

He’s the culprit behind the awful song "Red and Yellow", a tune that puts a Kansas City spin on Wiz Khalifa’s "Black and Yellow". Iowa State then proceeded to tweak the remix of a remix. Why oh why did a famous rapper have to make a song so amenable to sports team color combinations? Here’s the video for your viewing (dis)pleasure.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMflZKJXmrs

REDANDYELLOW REDANDYELLOW REDANDYELLOW REDANDYELLOW.

Irksome, no?

After the Chiefs got scalped last Sunday, we know that they bleed red. Now tell me, Chiefs fans, do you bleed red and yellow?

Now about those soft-bodied burlesque dancers…

Before anything, my self-esteem is still soaring from their routine. I’m all for female empowerment and I think Burlesque is spectacular, but damn. Most of the girls weren’t in any shape whatsoever for stripteasing. Yikes. It’s supposed to be tantalizing affair, right? Not that night. And upsettingly so because a great dance track with sensational costumes promised far more than what was delivered.

From what I saw, Kansas City’s is in agonizing want of sexy burlesque recruits.

And now that I think of it, I am a poor college student with a penchant for nipple tassels and red lipstick… Hmm..

But by and large, it was a successful night. I only wish I knew more people!

So on that note, it’s nice to meet you, Kansas City. I’m Maria. I’ll be here for a while. Well, at least until grad school.