Hearne: Frenzied Women Take Chippendales / Stanford’s by Storm

Seeing was believing…

And unless you’d witnessed the estrogens fueled wilding by the women of Kansas City who stormed Stanford’s Thursday night, you might not have believed it. Short of a full scale riot with multiple arrests, it was about as over-the-top as it gets. Never mind bullhorn toting Nazis, there ladies weren’t fooling around.

“It was insane,” says Stanford’s main man Craig Glazer. “Way beyond what I ever imagined. We sold out and we turned away women. At first it was just a mob scene outside the club, and I’m not used to that. Usually it’s just dates and married couples, but Thursday it was all women.”

From start to finish the “50 Shades of Men” show was a well-oiled machine.

“They have it down to a science,” Glazer says. “They come out before the show and sell autographed T-shirts and calendars, then they go in and we seated the room. And the girls were bouncing around like they were at a rock concert and they hadn’t even seen anything yet. We could barely seat the room because they weren’t paying attention, they were just screaming.”

So what was the crowd like?

“Well, half of the women were just normal housewives, just average people,” Glazer says. “Then about 50 were decent-looking and about 50 were pretty cute. And then there were about 25 who were really hot. I mean, some of the girls drove in from other towns like Topeka.

“Then when the guys started dancing it was crazy. It was like they were sex-starved. And one of the Chippendales said, ‘How many of you are married?’ and about half of them raised their hands. And they were all pushing each other, trying to get closer to the stage. My brother and I had to hold them back.”

Would they have, um, submitted to the Chippendales charms had they the chance?

“Maybe not all of them, but some of them,” Glazer says. “I don’t think these were the kind of women that would go out and cheat on their husbands, but with all the other women cheering them on they were like kids in a candy store. They acted like they’d never seen a guy before.”

They were rowdier than the rowdiest strip club Glazer’s ever been in.

“It’s not like when men go into a strip club,” Glazer explains. “Most men are fairly respectful. They’re seated and they don’t rush the stage and grab the girl’s butts and try to tackle them.”

The grab-ass factor Thursday night?

“When the Chippendales go into the crowd the women grab their butts mostly and they try to touch them wherever they can,” Glazer says. “But the dancers are big, buff, athletic guys and they don’t want to get hurt if you know what I mean. So they move the women’s hands from the front to other body parts. And then the women try and grab their heads and push them into their breasts or their lower parts.”

Even the Glazers were treated like – dare I say – pieces of meat.

“Yeah, when we walked through the crowd they’d grab my butt and my hair – anything they could get their hands on,” Glazer says. “It was just so overwhelming. I was just surprised how aggressive and excited the women were.”

Did the Glaze thrash any of them?

“Did I?” he asks. “I’m not going to say.”

How about would the club do it again?

“Oh yeah,” Glazer says. “It was very successful. And they’re talking about coming back in March or April, so we’ll probably do it at the Uptown.”

Another departure from normal comedy club type crowds: They trashed the place.

“You know, stuff got thrown around,” Glazer says. “It wasn’t like a comedy show where people behave themselves. It wasn’t horrible, but like 10 girls lost their wallets and they dropped their car keys and scarves and stuff. We found all kinds of things afterwards.”

Eject anyone?

“No, they’re all females and they know we can’t grab ’em or do anything,” Glazer says. “If they were guys though…”

The wildest thing that went down?

“Oh, man. I was back in my office trying to stay out of the frenzy and there were a couple girls who came back and wanted to have sex. But how could I? We’re not set up for that.”

Hold it.

You trying to tell me you’ve never had sex in your office at Stanford’s?

“Yeah, but that was with women I knew – it was controlled,” Glazer says. “I didn’t know who these women were or who they were with. I mean, one blonde was amazing and she was so drunk. I kind of made out with her but her girlfriends were kicking the door in.

“It was amazing in a positive way just seeing what you would call the girls next door and how they are when all the taboos of society are taken away and they can get away with something.”