Hearne: KU Student Senate Wants Barf Bags, Tomahawk Chop Ban

Those krazy KU kids…

It’s understandable that KU students would flood Mass Street in downtown Lawrence after a Super Bowl win by the Chiefs. Not to mention tearing stop lights off light poles and standing on store awnings spraying beer on passersby. All of which actually happened.

Kid stuff, right?

“The city was mayhem — I’ve never seen anything like it,” KU junior Cayden Fairman of Overland Park told the Lawrence Journal World. “Being a part of this felt at home.”

Who doesn’t think of rioting when they think of Overland Park?

On top of all that, KU’s student senate was prepared for the worst.

“KU Student Senate wants vomit bags placed around campus if classes aren’t canceled days after Super Bowl,” read a Journal World headline prior to the big game.

“University of Kansas students are appealing to their chancellor’s ‘medical expertise’ in an attempt to get him to cancel classes on Monday, following Super Bowl LIV,” the story begins.

“The Student Senate calls upon the Chancellor, given his medical expertise, to consider the health implications of students attending classes and attempting course work less than 12 hours after the culmination of the Super Bowl and any celebrations that follow the game, should the Kansas City Chiefs emerge victorious, bill 2020-305 reads. Chancellor Douglas Girod is a head-and-neck surgeon.”

Well played, kiddos.

‘The bill is meant to be both serious and lighthearted. It’s ‘not a legislative hill we will die on,’ said Zach Thomason, chief of staff of the Student Senate and one of the co-authors of the bill…But he said there are ‘absolute health and safety concerns that need to be addressed.'”

“'(There) are significant health and safety risks that will occur in the event of a Kansas City Chiefs victory’ that would be exacerbated by classes being held the next morning, the bill says. ‘Be it further resolved that if classes are not cancelled there be EMESIS bags placed at various high traffic areas around campus.’ ”

For the uninitiated, we’re talking barf bags.

Long story short, according to the University Daily Kansan newspaper, the student senate wanted to make sure “students are not literally throwing up in their backpacks at 8 a.m. in Budig Hall if they have classes, or that they are not drinking and driving home from the illustrious Jayhawk Cafe on Sunday night.”

To top things off, the student senate included a bit of political correctness.

:”The final resolution also states that Senate ‘in no way condones the Tomahawk Chop or any other behavior that mocks or is offensive to Native American culture and urges the Chiefs organization to take proactive attempts to end such traditions.’ ”

That’s telling ’em…