It’s come to this…
So depleted are the writing ranks at the Kansas City Star that a lowly sports editor – they don’t even have a news columnist – took it upon himself to pen a retort to San Francisco Chronicle columnist Scott Ostler‘s hilarious spoof of the Cowtown.
Instead of responding in kind though – via clever, upbeat humor – Jeff Rosen penned a thin-skinned hit job, putting down San Francisco and the 49ers via shop worn jokes and tired trivia, such as making fun of the so-called “San Francisco treat,” Rice-A-Roni.
Uh, Jeff, pardon me – but the 1960s called and wants their black and white TV ads back – unless you somehow stumbled onto the new Jerry Rice spots.
In any case, nobody anywhere, besides Rosen, ever labeled Rice-A-Roni as a “signature gourmet treat.”
So needless to say, unlike KC barbecue, Rice-A-Roni is hardly a San Fran bragging point.
“Hang on to your self-driving Prius, bucko,” Rosen’s counter column begins…
Unfortunately one of Rosen’s first critiques backfires on countering Ostler’s claiming of Mark Twain as a famous local writer.
“Let’s start with Mark Twain, who was born in Hannibal, Missouri — our state, not yours — and maybe had a cup of coffee in the Bay Area – only upon asking your boss did we learn he once worked for a second at The San Francisco Chronicle,” Rosen writes.
“(Ernest Hemingway) developed his writing chops as a young reporter for none other than The Kansas City Star, in case you didn’t know. He had more than a cup of coffee here, too…So, Twain’s ours, not yours.”
Uh, really?
An 18 year-old Hemingway sharpened pencils at 18th and Grand for six months in 1917, and the newspaper hasn’t stopped braying about it since. And long as we’re using birth states to claim bragging rights, Hemingway was from Illinois, not Mizzou.
And what’s the deal with comparing KC losing the Kansas City Athletics and Kansas City Kings to San Fran losing a minor league baseball team run 1957 called the San Francisco Seals?
That’s telling ’em…
And does Rosen really think anybody much in San Fran is mourning the Oakland Raiders move to Vegas? Or the Oakland A’s playoff loss to the Royals in a wild card game six years back? Or whether baseball druggie Barry Bonds makes it into the hall of fame?
Rosen ridicules the high cost of living in San Francisco, its weather (talk about the pot calling the kettle black), earthquakes and “empty sports venues.”
Hey, if KC had opens and beaches, mountains and hiking trails, nearby state-of-the-art theme parks and year around good weather, buying tickets to televised local sporting events would take a hit too.
The bottom line: there’s a reason Rosen’s an editor, not a cutting edge, clever columnist.
Besides, nit picking mostly sports trivia is hardly a worthy counter to Ostler’s piece.
Ostler reached deep and directly into the Cowtown’s soul via our high profile love of bbq.
And in doing so, he made us laugh along with him.
My advice to Rosen: don’t quit your day job…
Not to be confused ‘Not Jack’ Kerouac, yours truly:
Q: Did you know the city San Francisco named an back street after ‘their’ Kerouac?
A: Actually, Jack Kerouac Alley (used for garbage dumping and shortcut for trucks)
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Plains motto: ‘head em up/move em out!’
“18 year-old Hemingway sharpened pencils at 18th and Grand for six months in 2017, and the newspaper hasn’t stopped braying about it since.”
– that whippersnappin’ century-hopper really gets around (Harry a jealous Houdini)…
“developed his writing chops as a young reporter for none other than The Kansas City Star”
– that he ended himself a prescient guilt, future KC Star would become?
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Frisco motto: ‘stickum up’/’hit ’em out!’
CAPTION THAT PIC #1
– Rice-A-Wrongi performing ‘Stuck On You’ (“catch a break, never drop a pass”)
CAPTION THAT PIC #2
– ‘Balco’ Bonds 619 home runs in 8398 at bats… (powered by flaxseed oil 😉)
‘Babe’ Ruth 714 home runs/8398 at bats – powered by beer, brats and broads
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‘Our city self-deprecation thot for the day’: KC has potholes, but unlike SF it doesn’t take you hours to get to/find them… so there, left coast!
😎
LOL at these idiots. Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens) was NOT born in Hannibal MO.
He was born in Florida MO.
Jagoffs. Yet again, the media steps on it’s dick trying to be cool.
Good one, Guy…
What are the odds the sports editor will publish a correction on himself too?
Glad you wrote this. Was thinking the same thing. That column read like something out of a high school newsper. I thought he might end it by writing, “we got spirit, yes we do. How about you? This is a time we could actually use a Whitlock or at least some witticisms from Greg Hall.
Agree…
Thing is, the San Fran writer drilled down to KC’s bbq base, then had clever fun with it. Like branding someone’s dog if they ask where to find a vegetarian restaurant, washing our bbq cause off in our famous fountains – fun, funny stuff like that.
No harm, no foul.
Rosen was trying to stick it to ’em and be funny at the same time. Plus he blew the Mark Twain birthplace and was reaching trying to drag adjacent cities and the overall state into the fray.
Let’s see if Rosen eats his correction in tomorrow’s Star
When trying to demean SF, how do you not crack on the numerous defecating bums that are ubiquitous in their town?
Good point…
Might represent a political viewpoint, if you get my drift