Hearne: Star Sports Columnist Endorses Public Drunkeness

C’mon Sam, you gotta focus brother…

Are things so desperate at the Kansas City Star that they are proffering illogical arguments to try and pander to drunken Chiefs fans?

If not, why is columnist Sam Mellinger arguing against a policy that could curb DUIs, needless public drunkeness and violence?

A new policy requiring Chiefs fans to either go into the stadium or leave the parking lot after kickoffs on game days would not have prevented a dude getting beaten to death five years back because he’d already gone into the stadium before coming back out, Mellinger argues.

The not-so-smart detail Mellinger forgot was that the drunks who kicked and punched the guy into the next world would not have been there under the new rule because they’d have had to leave after the kickoff. Duh.

In other words, the guy likely would have been saved by the new rule, Sambo.

Because the drunken mobsters would have not been there to do him in.

What the Chiefs should do instead, Mellinger minces is make a plan to do away with fights and racial slurs in the stands.

Huh?

Yeah, okay… and somebody should come up with a plan to eliminate violence and racial slurs everywhere else so terrible things never happen to anybody ever.

Talk about mindless utopian nonsense.

So instead of implementing the new rule, the Chiefs should be encouraging fans to party in the parking lot, Mellinger argues.

Uh, they already totally are.

How much more encouraging can they get than inviting fans in at 6:30 am before noon and 3 pm games?

Another stoopid Samservation is if the Chiefs were ripping tailgaters off for $10 beers instead of letting them BYO they wouldn’t dare kick them out after the kickoff.

Well, guess what?

The  Chiefs are already knicking tailgaters for $60 just to park, so the incentive for the team to leave things as they are is already there.

The real point Mellinger’s missing is characterizing fans as merely “cooking and drinking and playing catch and laughing.”

As if all that was going down was the equivalent of an innocent grade school recess break.

Me thinks Sam’s been sucking down the free food and drink in the press box too long.

People don’t require five to nine hours to grill their hotdogs and burgers and play a bit of catch.

By my measure not that many people play catch while tailgating. and when you’re consuming alcohol and running around bumping into other people’s cars, it’s not exactly an ideal place for that sort of activity.

People tailgate to get messed up and soak up the crude, crass vibe.

And while we’re on the subject of responsible adult behavior, as much as the Star and other media frown on drinking and driving, isn’t it obvious that the world would be better, and far safer for everybody if people cooked out, tossed footballs, laughed and got drunk in the confines of their own homes and backyards?

And since it’s been established that the logistics of employing DUI checkpoints on Chiefs-sized crowds is untenable, is it really the best plan of action to knowingly unleash, thousands more drunken Chiefs fans after every game.

The bottom line: Look, Mellinger undoubtedly knows better.

So why write a lame blog pandering to the unwashed?

http://www.mb-kc.com/
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20 Responses to Hearne: Star Sports Columnist Endorses Public Drunkeness

  1. Super Dave says:

    As I said yesterday this is an easy fix. But I guess the knuckleheads at 1 Arrowhead Drive and those like Mellinger can’t seem to grasp it. There is a simple and very logical solution to this issue. The parking lots are there for those who hold tickets to use while seeing the game. If they choose to tailgate some it appears that is okay to keep doing as it has for years. The issue appears to be with those who come to the parking lot just to party and have no tickets to see the game. So to fix the issue and not to have to clear the parking lot once the game starts is that nobody gets to enter the parking lot who is not holding a ticket to see that game. See how simple it is to solve this solution. Why else would you need to be in the parking lot other than to see the game? I find it rather strange that anyone would want to pay for the price of a ticket plus the parking fee so they can sit in the parking lot during the game and watch it on a television or listen to it on a radio? If the drinking and partying while staying in the parking lot is the real reason you go to a game why not save yourself a ton of money and just buy a huge television, your cable providers NFL package and have a huge party at home every weekend with all your rowdy friends? This rule should cut down a little bit on the number of those who couldn’t pass a DUI checkpoint. Then again maybe you should have to pass a DUI checkpoint before being allowed to go home. I remember a time and era when going to the “Game” was the focal point and not to have a huge party and get blitzed in the parking lot. The Chiefs have brought this issue all on to themselves by trusting people would be able to behave themselves. Now they are being looked at as the bad guy for making a feeble attempt to make things a little safer for all concerned. Society has proven they can’t be trusted to have a good time anymore and act responsible.

    • Jim a.k.a. BWH says:

      So, you have now eliminated anybody that is meeting someone in the parking lot that has their tickets. They can’t get in the parking lot? you have also eliminated people that plan on buying a ticket from one of the hundreds of sellers there are at every game. They can’t get in the parking lot either?

      I go to ONE game a year with our group of friends and we hire a party bus. several people in the group come back out to the bus after halftime because they aren’t huge football fans. How do you propose that this is handled? They can’t leave and they can’t go back into the game. What’s the solution?

      This policy is impossible to police. Can people stay in their RV’s during the game? How do you control that? You can’t stop people from leaving the game, but you have no idea whether they drove themselves or they are going to the car to wait for the person who drove. What do you do with them?

      Arrowhead has been Arrowhead forever. I had season tickets throughout the 80’s and tailgating looked exactly the same then as it does now.

      Look, I don’t have a problem with the policy because it doesn’t impact me one way or another. It just seems like it is an attempt to do something that hasn’t been thought through.

  2. Kerouac says:

    “the guy likely would have been saved by the new rule, Sambo.”

    – the Jeopardy category ‘things Caucasian’s can’t say for $500, Alex’ (didn’t even know Mellinger was black; the sound PC police arriving in 3, 2, 1. Btw, which of the two pics above is NOT Sam? Because, well… buzzed writing is drunk writing.)

    “the world would be better, and far safer for everybody if people cooked out, tossed footballs, laughed and got drunk in the confines of their own homes and backyards?”

    – and the Chiefs better (with less trophy case echo) if they played Big 12 instead NFL…

    😎

  3. Phaedrus says:

    Not really relevant to your article, but I noticed that Forbes values the Chiefs at $2.1 billion.

    Who in their right mind would pay that much for a team in a sport that is (most likely) declining in popularity, has potential legal/health issues hanging over its head, and caters to a live audience of drunken fools?

    I’m surprised more NFL franchises haven’t come on the market lately. If I were an owner, I’d sure as hell be looking to cash out.

    • admin says:

      Interesting thought, Phaedrus…

      Then again, think of all the income streams NFL teams have. Like the tailgater parking of as much (or more) than a half million bucks at every home game!

      • Jim a.k.a. BWH says:

        The NFL had a record breaking year for income in the 2017-18 season. Nobody is cashing out.

        • Phaedrus says:

          They don’t ring a bell at the top.

          Sports betting will help prolong things, but do you really think the NFL wil be as popular in 20 years as it is now? Do you think tv rights fees can/will go any higher?

          Now would also be a good time to sell given the new tax rates. I doubt they’ll ever be any lower.

          Forbes estimates the Chiefs earned $60 million of income. Figure Clark would pay 33% in taxes (I assume most of the gain would be a capital gain) and he’s left with $1.5 billion. Assume he invests that at a lousy 5% return, and he’s making $75 million/yr, or about $205k/day (which beats making $500k/day on 8 days of the year).

          • admin says:

            Well, given the historical nature of the masses wanting their entertainment – a la Christians versus the lions – what would you presuppose might take football’s place?

            Given American’s penchant for violence…

            Soccer?

            It definitely is on the rise, but most of the violence in that sport involves fans clashing with other fans.

            Mixed martial arts?

          • Jim a.k.a. BWH says:

            $60 million? Each and every team was stroked a check for $255MM from the NFL for revenue sharing last year. That’s JUST from the NFL. You don’t walk away from that kind of income.

          • Phaedrus says:

            Jim, you do realize there is a difference between revenue and income, right? The players aren’t playing for free.

            I don’t think it’ll go completely away, but I think it could become like boxing is nowadays. And as far as I know, no network is paying billions of dollars to air boxing matches.

          • admin says:

            Doesn’t seem like a wildly long time ago that boxing pay-per-views were a halfway big deal…

            Far less so today….or is it me?

            Here’s the current top 7:

            Anthony Joshua
            Deontay Wilder
            Alexander Povetkin
            Tony Bellew
            Tyson Fury
            Dillian Whyte
            Jarrell Miller

            Any of these dudes ring any bells for you guys?

  4. chuck says:

    Phaedrus is dead on the money.

    I would cash out before lunch tomorrow.

    • No duh says:

      ….and that’s why you’re still working a menial job at your age chuck.

      • paulwilsonkc says:

        I happen to know Chuck.
        Chuck is a friend of mine.
        You, No Duh, are no Chuck.
        Until you know what Chuck actually does for a living, as I happen to, stop relying on Dead Harley’s tired, worn out and quite wrong “ditch digging” accusations.
        Take it from a “box salesman,” you’re wrong.

        • admin says:

          Now that’s some funny stuff

          • Napalm Sticks to Kids says:

            I remember when he tried to threaten Tony to take down Harley/Glazer because he said Paul was the Glory Hole Queen of Springfield, MO…Paul then tried to claim he lost all this business because Glaze said that he likes to play headbutt the sausage at the Lions Den…good times. Wonder if he still rocks the beret.

        • No Duh says:

          Aww..how cute Paul. Why don’t you two love birds take it someplace else? You are always so desperate for somebody’s attention. “Hey let’s get a cigar.” “Hey, let’s get a drink.” Go find a better class of person to be friends with. Chuck’s an avowed racist and a clown. You’re just desperate & pathetic.

      • Phaedrus says:

        No duh must be a bitcoin billionaire.

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