Courtesy of my pals @ The Pitch and their out-of-focus, Photoshopping fantasies!
They say you can’t go home…
Hey, maybe you shouldn’t, but come late this spring or early summer, I’ll be closing out a five year, self-imposed exile and returning to the Cowtown.
Just one problem; I’ve got some catching up to do.
The reason: in the past handful of years Kansas City has exploded in almost every way imaginable and blossomed into the kind of hip, urban, urbane burg locals have yearned for and envied for decades.
OK, KC is still no Chicago, Denver or Minneapolis and a number of our iconic, local institutions have bitten the dust, but that’s a good thing for the most part.
Who cares that the American Royal is hanging by a thread?
What has it really done for Kansas City the past 30 years besides circling the drain and providing an illogical first name connection to the city’s Major League Baseball team?
Best case scenario is KC banishes the Royal – say to Omaha or Indy – and is done with it. Before what’s left of the organization’s dated, ill-fated livestock show drags the vaunted World Series of Barbecue down with it.
Memphis‘ World Championship Barbecue Cooking Contest is already cleaning KC’s clocks.
So out with the old, in with the new.
Look like fun…been to Nebraska lately?
If it can’t be fixed, break it permanently, toss it in the dumpster alongside those rusty Pitch distribution boxes and be done with it.
Memphis in May, which includes its annual BBQ fest makes KC’s poorly ill conceived “world series” look like a little league game.
This year’s entertainment lineup in Memphis ranges from Jack White, Queens of the Stone Age, David Byrne, Incubus, and Alanis Morissette to Ludacris, Erykah Badu, Franz Ferdinand, Robert Randolph and Delbert McClinton…and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
They’re even honoring the Czech Republic…
Imagine that.
The Royal is honoring deceased corporate bully Neal Patterson with an entertainment lineup that consists of Nashville band Two Way Crossing and Hudson Drive.
Get the picture?
The Kansas City of today excels at kicking up its heels and barreling towards the future. Not tinkering with forgettable aspects of its rural past.
And even if trying to burnish the city’s image by overhyping barbecued meats is a viable marketing path forward, we should still give the American Royal the heave ho (like Kemper Arena did) and start with a clean sheet of paper and entirely new game plan.
As for me, I’ll be saddling back up far more often than of late and redirecting my gaze here again upon the good, bad and ugly. That means leaving Lawrence and Topeka (more-or-less) in the rearview mirror (with beaucoup fond thoughts, of course).
So stay tuned…
Oh, one more thing…
Count on me being on the receiving end of a heaping helping of jealous ramblings and sniping from certain lame, local blogophiles. The ones who like nothing more than to continuing to traffic in shopworn words and expressions, like calling people “douchebags” and reporting on so-called “flash mobs.”
Truth is they’re journalistic wannabes who’ve never crafted a single front page news story that was edited and published in a widely read, credible publication.
But make no mistake, this won’t be a full time venture for me.
It will however entail me again having an ear to the ground here which hopefully will make for some interesting reading.
We’ll see.
In the meantime, don’t believe everything you read online (especially in comments sections) and maybe half of what you see.
Let’s have some fun.
Well you better return to having those great super bowl parties Hearne…now you and I can go out and check out the scene once in awhile…good to see you back in KC!!! I think.
I’m not there yet!
We’ll see about the bashes…
would love to see you really get this blog up and going also.
I did enjoy your columns in the star…and there’s plenty to report on in kc.
It is different…it’s really spread out….the housing market is crazy…..neighbors
house had 36 showings lined up in 48 hours!!!!!!!!! Sold over asking price. But we’re
still the same town you left years ago.
As far as bar b q…..who cares anymore. really. People aren’t into the events
like they once were. Most hang at homes and drink wine.
But boom boom is out and about loving kc as it transforms. Plus shootouts at
glazos place make it interesting.
see ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What’s this? A reasonably lucid comment from the boomer…
What hath God wrought?
To me, the only way to at least try and restore bbq to anything approaching its glory days here would be to do what Union Station honcho George Costello did several years back, and that’s bring in name entertainment acts to transcend the smelly smoke and traffic snarls.
Face it, who really thinks watching a bunch of mostly white suburbanites smoking and grilling meat competitively is even halfway interesting.
And the myth that people can wander past them in mass and mooch free samples for their kids and family is just that…a myth.
I’d rather watch barrel racing and I’d pay not to have to watch that!
the bar b q is sooooooooooooo old.
they moved the thing so many times it needs a map on google.
now the happening spots are ” THE SPOT!” google it….off 435….
it’s perfect for you and the glazo! 2 single guys….every saturday night.
You’ll be the star of the entire joint!
Need help with the moving van and moving stuff…call chuckie.
sorry hern….its ‘THE SPOTT”….2 T’S…..YEAHAAAA FOR
HEARNE AND GLAZO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Huh?
come on hearne…you and glazo should go to the SPOTT on saturday….it’s perfect for you guys.
byob…hotties….dancing to disco…even a disco ball lit dance floor. Look it up….its the hottest spot and you and glazo can rule the roost there! They even have a pool for glazo to roll thru and vulturize!
This your way of asking “glazo” out on a date?
My advice: try a more direct approach.
Me, I’m in a relationship so I’ll respectfully take a pass but you grrrls have fun and behave yourselves!
no herne….its a lifestyle club for you and hearne to get your hotties.
glazo will have a field day.
you can watch…like glazo likes to do.
but the spott is the place for both you hungry
dogs on saturday night.
who knows ….you might find wife #4!
where therees will…there’s way….give it a try.
Your girl might get a hankering to it too. Its strictly heterosexual and no beating women so your buddy can’t get it….but b
You go right along, boomsy.
I’m gonna pass…respectfully!
Think you’re mixing up Chuck w Paul…remember? The box dude?
I wrongly assumed this was leading to a request for help unloading the moving van.
Welcome home, Hearne.
You live in Memphis? WTF
I’m with ya, Springs…
Where am I?
Just for the record, Union Station’s head honcho is George Guastello. I’m George Costello (his distant cousin), one of 5 George’s in our extended family. So there!
Welcome back.
Grazie…
I’ll get your piece up today hopefully
You are correct Hearne, KC is no Minneapolis…..the so called hipster vibe in KC is still a far cry from the boom in Minny. We’re closing in on Portland and dare I mention, Austin TX……KC is still very…well, Indianapolis…..but hey, there is still hope for those living around 119th – 135th street in OP.
larry is right.
I’m sure lawrence and topeka will miss you hern.
What none of us at KCC will miss: you uncanny ability to misspell somewhat familiar words like, I dunno, “Hearne.”