It’s not unusual for 76 year-old men to lose a step after more than 50 years…
Such was the case with ’60s heartthrob Tom Jones before a sold out crowd at the Uptown last week.
What was unusual was for the septuagenarian’s pipes to be in such amazing shape. Make no mistake, for an oldster, Jones did not disappoint.
Unless of course you have a really long memory and/or checked out Jones clips on YouTube from the days when he was – to put it plainly – a panties magnet.
No mas.
These days – with the odd exception, including my date of course – most of the panties tossers in the crowd seemed better suited to Depends.
That said, Jones dress shirt was dripping wet halfway through his two hour show, despite the complete absence of the slinky, suggestive, signature body language and dance moves he was once famous for.
Powering Jones’ show was a stellar nine piece band that breathed fire into many (but not all) of his greatest hits along with a smattering of R&B, blues and gospel tunes that were pleasing if mostly unfamiliar.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was no small feat; to bring a packed house to its feet and sustain such a high energy level with so many unfamiliar songs.
Not that everything about Jones show made perfect sense.
For example with his arsenal of actual hits numbering under 10, how does one rationalize leaving out, “She’s a Lady” and “Daughter of Darkness” to name two?
“So how do you rate the concert so far,” asked an anxious audience member to my left. “Don’t be a dick.”
“Eight to 8.5,” I shot back.
Again, despite a nonstop parade of mostly obscure songs.
Then Jones threw the crowd a bone and did, “Kansas City.”
Complete with an odd rewording of the song’s signature line:
“You gotta crazy way of living here and I’m gonna get me some,” Jones sang.
Huh, crazy way of living?
What happened to: “They got some crazy little women there, and I’m gonna get me one.”
Maybe at Jones advanced age he’s finally packing it in romantically.
Wasn’t always the case.
In the early days of Jones’ career the fact that he’d married very young was mostly kept secret to take full advantage of his ability to turn out the ladies.
Later, after his portly, plain wife entered the media limelight, Jones was portrayed as being happily married with an understanding wife,
Au contraire.
In Wikipedia, Jones claims to have had sex with “up to 250 groupies a year at the height of his fame.”
Those are Wilt Chamberlain numbers, people.
“Jones philandering once led (his wife) Linda to physically assault him,” it continues. “After reading about one infidelity in a newspaper, she punched and kicked Jones, but he did not fight back; “I took it,” he said.”
With upwards of 250 beddings a year, sounds like Linda was the one who mostly took it.
In that context it made Jones teary tribute to his late wife (who died in April) seem disingenuous.
Shoot, among other things Elvira Mistress of the Dark says she lost her virginity to Jones.
“Look how sweet he looks,” cooed my date.
“And he’s better than an 8.5 dick wad,” added the fan to my left.
As Jones bid Kansas City adieu, the panties began to fly.
So how does Sir Tom Jones keep those golden pipe in such excellent shape?
Four words: “Welsh-engineered throat pastilles.”
You missed a pretty good one, pussycats.
Hearne sounds like fun, they just don’t make them like Tom anymore. As you know and I reported here on kcc, I had the pleasure to meet and see Tom perform at his 75th birthday party a June ago in LA. He was just great…no I was never a big fan as a kid but I respect his talent…and now that all these years have passed I realize how wonderful the man is and was…he looks just great in his mid 70’s and the ladies still love him…sounds like you had a nice night.
Heard he had an updated version of Pussycat. Its called “GRAB THAT PU@@Y!”
His ‘Praise and Blame’ CD was in my cd player for months.
Good stuff.
yes it was. Now it’s glazo’s theme song.
Oh and Harley, the reason I killed your hilarious Depends joke comment was – hello! – it was already in my story.
Read much?
sorry…mine had a better lead up and punch line.
You’re an amateur. I’m a professional.
And most importantly EVERYTHING in the election
that I pointed out has become fact!
Harley has inside track on important issues and
stories.
Your story about some 76 year old barely able to
walk former half baked star doesn’t really qualify
as much of anything.
He’s like glaze…a has been!
What more needs to be said!
You must have been the youngest “guy” in the place
who actually paid for a ticket. they feathered that
show like the liewickes did the comets games!
A sucker is born everyday!
Man Harley, how clueless can you be?
First of all, I probably was among the youngest, but I didn’t pay. Second, just about everybody else there did and it was a sold out well in advance affair.
hey admin…I never pay to go anywhere.
Free seat in the suites at sprint….2nd row
seats at Fleetwood mac/springsteen…all free.
And you’re bragging about free seats at
Tom Jones…a 76 year old senior who can
barely walk much less sing…hanging with some
old broads who threw their depends on the
stage.
Come on hearne….let me take you to prime
seats at chiefs or royals…..
jeez hearne….didn’t know you had the pull
anymore to get seats for TOM JONES…
wow….TOM JONES….
you gotta be kidding…..free seats to tom jones!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Just curious; what exactly do you snort before you write some of these comments, Harley? Lemme guess: PCP?
Harley —
You comment about Tom Jones being 76, then bring up Fleetwood Mac and Bruce Springsteen?
Here’s a lesson for ya, dumbass — Mick Fleetwood is 69 years old — Christine Mcvie is freakin’ 73! And Springsteen? Old enough to be a great-grandfather at a spry 67.
LANCE THE INTERN….
as in intern (which I once was) I realize you don’t have
the financial assets to see many concerts. Which I can
understand.
However…you probably didn’t see Fleetwood mac in their last concert at sprint or springsteen r ock without
a break for 3.5 hours at sprint.
Rally lance the intern….there is no comparison with
some old barely walking out of tune old sucker
with maybe 3 songs anyone under 60 would recognize…
(I only know pussycat because it was on an infomercial
for old geezers wanting to buy hits of the 60’s)….
and springsteen who is in incredible shape and who
have probably 40 hits…or Fleetwood mac who played
for 3 hours non stop at sprint and mick and the entire
band rocked the entire time…..especially the drum
performance…..and I guarantee bruce and any of
the mac’s members could run circle around the old
worn out TOM JONES.
I wouldn’t drive with free tickets to see tom jones.
Hearne loved it because just like his man DUMPSTER
he loves that song “PUSSYCAT”
where he sings “love those pussycat lips” hahahahaha
okay..I’ve got to give hearne credit…he did come up with the tom jones
depends on stage joke. Hearne you said it first…..great job with the joke hearne.
Maybe you should do the open mic at glazos new place in Kansas city Kansas!
Flatterer
As mentioned, Tom Jones can still sing like all get out…and he can move…least when I met him a year ago he was outstanding and looked very good…we should all look that well and stay in his shape at 76.
As for tix, Hearne has taken me to SPRINT,MIDLAND,KEMPER,STARLIGHT, and more all free and great stars, CHELSEA HANDLER, THE POLICE, THE WHO, on and on…so the guy still gets tix when needed.
sorry hearne and glazo…
checked out the tapes of TOM JONES on you tube.
Guy looks 76..all gray and definitely could not keep up with springsteen/jagger/
Fleetwood/McCartney and many of the other still rockin’ stars of today.
No doubt he can still sing okay…but come on guys…this guy is nowhere near
the star of the others I’ve mentioned.
Stones just drew over 100K in indio,California….
same for mccartneyand who.
This guy draws 2000 and you are slobbering over how great he was.
Guy still can sing….but lets be serious for once…..definitely not the cup of
tea of many guys who read kcc or the star for sure
Iguess when you are outfor older women you’re limited in where
you can find them.
Hope you both had a great time.
Rock on boys!
THE ETERNAL ROCKER!
Harley
Hey, I was there out of curiosity and after all he was knighted, just like your hero Paul
curiosity killed the “pussycat”…
hahahaha