I’ve had a particular pet peeve for years…
Most people have certain things that annoy them but I’ve never given it much thought beyond a casual curiosity. However my pet peeve reared its ugly head in the presence of my family recently and they convinced me that I have a problem. Hence this journalistic exercise.
More on that later but let’s do a bit of digging for the purpose of my rehabilitation.
A pet peeve is defined as a minor annoyance that an individual identifies as particularly annoying that others may not mind. A key aspect is that what is especially problematic to you may be completely acceptable to others close to you.
Pet peeves can say something unique about a person.
Tell me your pet peeves and I’ll tell you who you are.
Pet peeves can cause visceral reactions to perceived rudenesses exhibited by another.
And things that can individually annoy can be all over the spectrum.
Things like foot tapping, talking during movies, obnoxious laughter, cutting in line, annoying kids whose parents think they’re cute, clicking pens, parking across two spaces, popping gum, loud cell phone talk, a smoker dropping a cigarette butt on the street. You name it!
Other pet peeves may range from someone eating off your plate or double dipping to an email that is cc’ed to your boss, leaving the cap off the toothpaste tube, dishes piled up in the sink or the toilet seat being up or down.
Driving related pet peeves relate to my specific Achilles Heel (sorry Hearne and Harley, I couldn’t resist another reference to Greek mythology).
For the most part, individual pet peeves are no big deal.
And I think the majority of people that have a pet peeve just react for a nano-moment, and think, “What a jerk” – then quickly move on.
For others a pet peeve may be a harbinger of a personality problem in need of attention.
Because minor irritations can lead to major stress levels.
So while it’s expected that major stress events like job changes, family crises, health issues, etc. can be huge, minor annoyances can add up and affect your health and mental state.
Pet peeves can raise your blood pressure and take control of your focus and attitude for longer periods of time than is appropriate. It’s important to address and defuse them immediately so they don’t lead to a negative chain of events. We tend to attribute overblown meaning to annoyances and feel they are directed at us personally. That they’re not just random, meaningless occurrences without any intention. They’re seen as a personal attack and can cause a “ fight or flight ” response.
Psychologist and stress expert Deborah Rozman, PhD from the Institute of HeartMath in California says pet peeves are often tied to our past and represent “old fears, old insecurities that we’ve fed until they become habits.”
Thus it’s important to shift your attention to separate from the event and look back at it through a different lens. Psychiatrist Jeffrey Brantley, MD, from Duke’s Integrative Medicine Center in Durham, North Carolina suggests redirecting anger by shifting to a “neutral focus, which is actually a form of Buddhist meditation.
“Take a few mindful breaths, feel the earth under your feet or the steering wheel in your hands.”
Step away from the action then calmly recognize it’s not a big deal. Desensitize the event.
Got it?
OK, now for my personal issue.
I recognize that I’m wrapped a little tight sometimes. I’ve been labeled passive-aggressive by close friends. Normally I’m a calm, agreeable guy who tries to get along. But when someone crosses the line in my presence with an obvious transgression I lose it.
The end of my life will almost certainly be the result of a road rage incident.
Yep, my pet peeves pretty much revolve around driving.
I not only drive to and from work downtown from the suburbs, I drive a lot during the day.
I’m tootling along nice and friendly and then wham!. Someone changes lanes without using their turn signal!! Then they do it again and again. OMG!!! Cue the Ice Cream Shop scene in the movie “Billy Jack”.
I go berserk.
There are other things related to driving that trouble me greatly too.
Talking or texting on a cell phone, for example. Incidentally I don’t even own a cell phone – never have!
Driving in the fast lane and blocking traffic that wants to pass is another. As is thinking it’s OK to throw trash or a cigarette butt out the window; And women who think drive time is when make-up should be applied; Making a left turn on a busy street that causes those drivers behind you to have to wait.
I’ll generally cut some slack to really old people or out of town drivers for a few of these mortal sins,
However some of these always push me over the ledge.
I promise I’m working on my problem, but it’s a long healing process and we’re talking about some pretty sinful behavior out there on the open road.
Athens wasn’t built in a day.
So if you’re driving along and notice an angry white dude following you a bit too closely in a black Jeep SUV, it’s maybe best that you head to a police station before exiting your vehicle.
And at all costs, please avoid eye contact.
Just a little friendly advice.
I was in traffic by a man
Reading a book while he drives
He couldn’t
Stay between the lanes
He couldn’t
Read between the lines
So I ran him off the road
The first chance that I got
See, harmless is one thing
A little knowledge is not
Driving a van pool in suburban Philadelphia we came across a guy reading a map or book as he drove on a very twisty-turny back road.
But mine is how the Daytona 200, once the biggest race of the year in the world, has been transformed by NASCAR into a club race.
Racers came from all over the world to race this one American race. They had to learn new bikes (rules said the bikes all had to be based on street bikes, no one offs) and a new track which was like nothing they raced in Grand Prix races for the World Championship. And the track is not designed for anything but go-fast-and-turn-left.
In the 80s and 90s, Americans dominated the World Championship and led to the US getting three races in the series.
From 1974 to 1993 an American took home the #1 all but two-years. Kenny Roberts won the title his first year. His riding style, honed on American flat tracks and road race tracks, revolutionized the sport. After he retired his son also won the championship.
Today the race is poorly attended while the number of bikers grows during Speed Week.
Now, I asked that undertaker what it took to make him laugh
When all he ever saw is people crying,
First he hands me a bunch of flowers that he’d received on my behalf,
And said, “Son, business just gets better all the time.”
Being wrapped too tight, of course, includes getting us thrown out of Shaky’s Pizza for life. I do not know whether it was our lives or the life of the franchise. In any event, walking down the table was frowned upon. The franchise on Metcalf is gone, so there is no harm. My wife points out to friend that I have my own way of dealing with it, which includes rubbing my finger, you know the one, lest I accidently pull a muscle or tendon in its use. Coach Flipper was always reminding us to warm up first. Regardless of the situation, some of us have mellowed, thought twice about the value of our time, and the effort it would take to give a lesson to the idiots of the world, you know the ones who go through life happy, blissfully unaware they are infuriating the important people of the world, namely us. Thankfully, I have won my share of arguments, but I realize that I am not going to educate that lowly soul who wishes to waste my time. I listen and watch. There is a joke in there somewhere. Happy Easter, Stomper. Great article, great post, and great human nature. Then, there was that balloon incident at Shaky’s that banned us for a second lifetime. It brings back smiles.
If you are running into trouble at Shaky’s, then don’t even drive into the parking lot at Chuck E Cheese.
Seriously, google “Chuck E Cheese Fights” and check out the mayhem and feces fan hitting action in those places!
Here is a Chuck E Cheese where the cops have been called 18 times in 3 months.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Egui_ArXg8
Sheesh…
Athens not built in a day?
Having a nasty temper is usually a serious character defect that will land you in so, so much trouble. I have the scars to prove it.
However, take heart Stomper, every angry dog has his day.
I was standing in a long line, with over a dozen contractors at Lowe’s waiting to check out. There were a half a dozen Lowe’s personnel about 15 feet off of my starboard bow, bullshi**ing about this and that. After 10 minutes or so, I popped a cork and screamed at them, “WHY DON’T YOU FU*KIN PIECES OF SH8T GET YOUR FUC*IN ASSES OVER HERE AND GET TO FUC*IN WORK!!!!!”
It actually didn’t work, they scattered like leaves in a hurricane, but the other guys in line all loved it and we spent the rest of the 15 or so minutes commiserating in good humor and bon homie. Oddly enough, my misanthropic and nasty attitude towards most of the world does not translate into road rage. I rarely lose my temper in the car driving even during close calls. That said, my temper has wounded those I love many times. In my dotage I am more reserved, at least in person.
🙂
Nice article.
This guy here loses his temper and seems to do ok.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZhvgRQkK3g
By the way, at this point I time, not owning a cell phone and bragging about it is kind of like refusing to wear pants because kilts are so much cooler.
How is Ted Kaczynski?
🙂
Thanks Chuck. Actually another pet peeve, recently discovered, is the editing of my pieces by Admin. Hearne added that part about not owning a cell phone. It pi$$es him off beyond rationality.
Are you saying that reading any of these articles by any of you guys is a waste of time since we won’t know who is writing it and who believes what? Now I don’t know if any of those pet peeves that you list are true. Maybe Hearne added all of them. Maybe he wrote entire piece and attached your name to it. CG blames Hearne for a lot of this kind of stuff. What the hell is wrong with you guys.
I let Hearne respond to most of your comments but everything I have offered here (both pieces and comments) is 100% me with the single exception of Hearne’s pet peeve (apparently) of the fact that I do not have a cell phone and refuse to get one. With regards to my pieces, I’ll occasionally request a particular piece of artwork to accompany the effort but HC does a pretty good job, imho, of selecting appropriate visual supplements. We all don’t have Mark Valentine’s creative genius.
Thanks Frank.
What’s wrong with you, Frank?
Writers like Glaze and Stomper are not journalists, so they really don’t understand being edited. Which cuts two ways.
On one hand I trimmed quite a bit of Stomps column to kind of streamline it and make it a faster, easier read.
On the other, as long as he was talking about cell phone pet peeves, I felt like full disclosure was that he didn’t own one – never has.
That;s how the game is played, man. Welcome to the real world.
Now here’s a little gem you might like; Stomper says he’s close to putting himself and using his real name. Which is far more legit than using fake names, which I discourage.
Stay tuned!
It doesn’t piss me off, Stomps and it falls well short of being a pet peeve…
Now if I was married, dating or involved in a business relationship with you maybe. I don’t mind calling you at work or on your wife’s cell phone the half dozen or so times a year we talk on the phone!
Then I guess that begs the question ” Why did you add it to my piece?”
Nevermind Hearne. I was typing this response as you were responding to Frank.
So to be clear so that I’m in the “real world”. Editing involves not only deleting, fixing, etc, but adding things that the writer did not say but the editor did, in the writers name. Full disclosure is to give the impression that the writer said something, but in fact the editor actually said it because the editor new the details and wanted the reader to know it, but in the writers name.
Using fake names but maybe using a real name is far more legit than using fake names?
Using Athens, as opposed to Rome was a subtle shout-out to my OCD on Greek mythology. 🙂
A little Gestalt with my coffee then.
🙂
oops, “in time”
“Tell me your pet peeves and I’ll tell you who you are.”
– venting never goes out of style: Astro-Ventilation classic C3 Corvette my preference.
What drives Kerouac, otherwise? Agree with most particulars referenced this topic, having suffered and been subjected to many the same. Alas, one man’s sense of ‘fair play’ is another’s ‘repression’. In the parlance: ‘I gots my rights man’, and so do you.
Aye, there’s the rub. Where do rights and selfishness part ways?
“You name it!”
– where to begin… limited time & internet paper prevents full disclosure; suffice to say, ‘my way’ distinct ‘their way’, each us.
Example: Kerouac’s version of narrative/poetic license, flowery prose and how it flows pen/keyboard (or doesn’t). That is style. I draw the line at paragraphs which do not… evidence one… a start, and an end. ‘H’ell yes, I’m talking about him 🙂 Expectation – others should be as on-board, well-informed and entertaining my sentiments; lol, and take a number.
__________
“Driving in the fast lane and blocking traffic that wants to pass is another. ”
– left lane is for passing, but has same maximum speed limit right… a minimum exists, some states. Exceptions as self-interpretation not allowed (how, where & why trouble begins.)
The attempt play policeman, enforce speed limits noble if dangerous, my opine; that it should be unnecessary, everyone following ‘one’ law, inarguable. Emergencies happen. BS walks. We all deal with the consequences, variously. Someone breaks an law, which leads other’s do same: speeding, or try to prevent ‘original’ lawbreakers from doing so. Two wrongs make no one right.
Kerouac loves the of smell law enforcement – morning, noon & night – give us a police state, or give us chaos. Have it. We’re all playing policeman, God. Welcome to century 21… and happy motoring/Easter.
🙂
You know what chaps my ass?
Litterbugs. F*king litterbugs.
That said, nice read Stomper. I enjoy your contributions.