In recent days, medical records of Der Führer have been released…
All for a book by Jonathan Mayo and Emma Craig, called “Hitler’s Last Day: Minute by Minute,” And the reports indicate that the Nazi nut job is believed to have had three kinds of genital abnormality.
Not since Stanley Kubrick’s Dr. Strangelove has there been this much low hanging sexual innuendo and metaphors to chose from.
Face it, Hitler’s list of abnormalities were legion. However for this writing I’m only focused on his junk.
First and foremost, he suffered from an undescended testicle.
That, in and of itself, is not all that rare. But he also suffered from a far more rare condition called penile hypospadias in which the urethra opens on the underside of the penis.
Meaning you have a non directable stream coming from up high and down under.
If that wasn’t enough to have made Hitler rush out and buy a Corvette, records indicate he also had a micro penis. We’re talking a sub one inch kind of micro.
These new claims lend credence to the popular British propaganda song of the day, “Hitler’s Only Got One Ball.”
Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert Hall
His mother,
The dirty bugger
Cut it off when he was small
Hitler has only got one ball
Hess has got no balls at all
Himmler had something similar
But poor old Goebbels
Had no balls at all
We always knew Hitler was a little misunderstood, but could this level of inadequacy have led to his constant torment and tyrannical behavior? Some men buy lifted pickup trucks or fancy sports cars, others FIATs.
Some kill six million Jews…
There isn’t a huge amount of documentation about Hitler’s sex life. We do know however that he was described as sexually odd. He had a huge obsession with hygiene, one that would make Howard Hughes appear normal, That and an enormous fear of STDs.
Rumors of homosexual tendencies followed Hitler his entire life.
Munich newspapers reported an unusually close relationship with Ernst Röhm, the homosexual head of the Nazi Party militia. At the same time, Hitler’s regime sent nearly 15,000 homosexuals to camps. Over half died. For being homosexual.
But the dictator also had an abnormal interest in women.
He would frequently invite actresses to his apartment after a show for “private performances”.
Renata
One such actress, Renata Müller, claimed that Hitler would kneel at her feet and ask her to kick him. But there was a downside to having a relationship with a leader that came in the form of suicide. Müller fell to her death from a window in 1937, adding her name to the list.
Otto Strasser, one of Hitler’s opponents in the Party, alleged that Hitler forced his niece Geli to urinate on him. Whether it was reality or propaganda, Hitler’s obsession with his niece was an open secret. She committed suicide in his apartment and it was reported Hitler was near a nervous breakdown after her death.
Another female companion died of complications eight years after a suicide attempt and yet another made a failed attempt.
So why is any of this relevant in today’s world and why do we care?
Because Hitler’s rhetoric seems strangely relevant in today’s Republican presidential campaign.
Hitler blamed a specific group of immigrants for most all of Germany’s problems. He promised to eliminate them from their midst. He sold hate as hope. He made pleas to the underclass that they would have a better life under his rule. Not taking him serious made him even more dangerous to his blind followers.
Sound familiar?
And have you noticed how small Donald Trump’s hands are?
Just tossing it out there…
Worst entry you’ve ever written.
Ahhh, thanks, Guy, that means a lot to me!
geez wislon…and I though I was tough on you.
I disagree. This was a fun read. And it explains SO much.
Especially CG’s choice of mode in transportation.
Thanks, KC! Agree or disagree, you’re always a solid comment.
Grade-school Godwin’s Law violation of journalism, and I’m one of the biggest Trump mockers around.
Correction – Godwin’s speaks to things degrading to Nazi comparisons. This was directed at small hands and size. It’s no different than comparing Hearne to Trump in that category.
I can understand a one liner, but an entire article discussing a dead man’s penis and piss stream seems rather gay.
It’s a large part of the book, multiple press releases, I cut it down to 580 words. I see that extremely thoughtful and ultra straight.
And Eva Braun had a shallow vajayjay. Sounds like a match made in hell.
dude….get on glzers stage…that was a funny line.
Wilson….too much talent to be writing about this subject. But soon
we’ll be hearing about your heros sexual oddities…..
itsv going to come out…an you can write an article about himi when
it does.
Donald has so many skeletons in his closet he needs a bigger closet
to hide them all….and as bad as this election has been already….get
ready for the real WWE winner take all to begin.
I can neither confirm or deny.
pauly….lets start with some taxreturns….
we’re starting to see Donalds lies….his returns will show
he’s a liar…just like he’s called every one of his opponents.
The game heats up.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Any piece that leads with “he suffered from an undescended testicle” is sure to push the envelope.
Welcome back, Paul
Thank you, Stomp. It’s been a little crazy lately.
From a PBS documentary on Hitler
“AS the father of the “master race” Adolf Hitler had to be the epitome of male virility.
If the Third Reich was to rule the world the supreme leader needed to show his followers he was the perfect specimen of physical and mental health.
But for a hypochondriac, manic depressive with Parkinson’s, allegedly deformed genitals and an almost non-existent sex drive, that was rather a tall order.”
After a breakfast of linseed oil and oatmeal, Hitler’s half-Jewish doctor would administer the first of many shots of cocaine and meth along with various potions including strychnine.
Dr Phil and Oz can only dream of such heights for their quakery.
And thanks, Orphan, for getting it. He was the great and mighty Oz. The single most brutal leader in the past century and he himself wasnt an example of his master race. If he was a run of the mill citizen, he would have been one of their brutal medical experiments.
He was a piker compared to Stalin.
Your hero wislon will make tiger woods look like a limp pe***!
He aint got the money he says he has.
His taxes will show that he’s screwedvover the American government
His university is under investigation for fleeding hundreds of thousands of
students. We went to the one in o.p. and the seminar and to be honest
we knew immediately his scam was going to take a lot of people for
a lot of money. The books they were selling had been available under
scam emails on the net…and now he’s got to testify but more important
it had no campus and no real value. And I’m wondering if that was
fed student loan money that they qualified for…..go research it wislon….
thedonald will be spending a lot of time in court.
And wait for the enquirer…..I’m gonna be laughing on the floor for days.
See Glaze knows nothing. Hearne has no contacts anymore except the
dude pushing the dog meat Korean restaurant (my 10 year old niece can write
better )/
But as I said to chicken man glaze….never doubt Harley. You already have
shown us you can’t pick a winner…..remember 2012 when Harley ws right on
in the election and you and whiney and wislon and the rest of the “over the hill
gang” went with the loser.
Pay attention…Harley has the inside scoop…and the snowball is coming like
an avalanche…probably 2 billion dollars or more to take out your hero
out probably before the convention…..plus how many republican office holders
will be there to endorse this circus con man.
But if there was anyone who admired a con man it would be glaze.
And the dems are looking to take the senate…..its gonna be a bloodbath.
Holy Mother of G-D, Harlis, where in anything I’ve said or written would you come off calling Trump my “hero?” As usual, you see a headline topic and run straight to the comments section without reading for content.
No idea what CG drives (sports car?) & lifted pickup trucks (trucks any, that matter) do not get mine blood pumping (am still partial my own choice road weaponry the ’70 Dodge Challenger), but wouldn’t mind taking one of those foreign jobbies (link) for an test drive; maybe she’s why Hearne drives a Fiat?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOPRTKQy7Z0
🙂
“Despite his last-minute marriage to Eva Braun, mant historians believe Hitler died a virgin.”
[source-Book of Lists, 1976]
Stalin also had tiny hands….
As far as the candidates go, I’m in the “Anyone but Hillary” camp.
Lib, you’re most likely correct if his dating life revolved around being alternately kicked or peed on…..
I didn’t read the article. I’m only committing here because I never read anything where someone is compared to Adolph Hitler.
Grow up.
My good man, there is this thing out there called the intarwebs. It is basically a series of tubes where people compare everything under the bloody sun to Hitler.
You need to get out some more.
Humor – it doesn’t resonate with everyone…
Then you missed me talking about how people compensate for inadquacies, which involved our Editor buying a Fiat! Your loss.
Maybe you need to read the article? You have to admit that you won’t read anything in an article if you don’t read it. Well, maybe you can’t admit it. Afterall, you made this idiotic comment
Oh, Frank, we can safely bet he read every word. Likely twice.
Ironic. Presumed sexual oddities for Trump. Meanwhile the poster child of the democratic party Bill Clinton has a well documented issue with women and sex.
ExxxxACTLY. Today’s news reels are playing an 08 clip from Trumps appearance on Howard Stern talking about what he finds attractive in females, with the question being asked, “Is THIS the kind of man we want as president?”
Yet, Bill was getting BJ’s in the Oval Office, and far worse, introducing way too much humidity to a $50 cigar! But all that was passed off as “it’s only sex.”
And Bill remains the darling of the party.
Situational ethics is an amazing thing.
many more trump stories will be breaking on enquirer.
In fact, if it hits, trump makes tiger look like virgin.
last nights debate showed exactly what the other
republicans didn’t do so far in the race but it
may be too late.
Trumps closet makes the dems look like angels.
And the day before the debate I wrote the strategy the
repubs would take going after his bankruptcies/university/his personal and business
life then go after him because he uses the same 5
lines in every speech.
Guy lacks the ability to be knowledgable on any subject.
Simple minded won’t make it in todays complex world.
He speaks of Carl Icahn who trump took for 400
million dollars in his hotel racket.
Wait…I’ve seen opposition research and just like they
crucified Romney they’ll do the same to trump.
It started last night but dems will be getting donors
from both parties because if you watched Frank
Lutz (who I think is biased) he asked a room full of
REPUBLICANS if any of them would vote for trump
after the debate…all but one said no and you’re
seeing how stupid trump really is.
And if you attack trump on his personal business
life we’ll see he’s just what Rubio called him and which
I called him 6 months ago….a con man.
There will be 9 months of hammering trump…the
worst of the worst will come out and it will be worse
than Romneys “47%” tape….its going to be a tough
pill for America to swallow and now the repubs are
starting to see the real trump……the guy knows nothing but “his wall”…his repeal of ACa without a plan to
replace it (that wold take about 3 years to do…what
happens to health care during that time) and all he
talked about was crossing state lines for competition.
Problem is that these insurance companies aren’t
equipped nor ready to do this on trumps first day.
I hope trump gets nomination because polls show
him getting under 17% of Hispanic vote…and that
spells disaster because Univision thinks they can
add another 3-5 million voters to the rolls by November.
Harley is on this….follow the king….not some old
goat or a loser.
Its not amazing its sad… And the enquirer? That the same publication still posting about twinkies found 10 years later rolled up in Oprah’s fat rolls?
Trump is a double agent.
If Donald Trump gets the nomination, if Donald Trump makes me vote for Hillary Clinton, I’m coming after him with the two weapons he is most frightened of, a building inspector and Kobe Bryant’s barber
I really do hate it with this immigration stuff. I mean, O’Rourke, was that a tribe in the Dakotas somewhere? I don’t think so. We are a nation of immigrants, what’s keeping us ahead of the Europeans and other economies is our welcoming of immigrants. That’s what keeps our age down, you know, I mean, everybody’s got to support me, soon, for Social — with Social Security. We need some young folks.