If you need me on Saturday night, I’ll be at Arrowhead Stadium along with tens-of-thousands of other tired, old white people with at least enough discretionary income to blow it on watching a handful of grandfathers prance around a stage in egregiously tight clothing.
BRING ON THE STONES, EVERYBODY.
Wait, did that seem sarcastic? That wasn’t my intention. Let me explain.
It’s not that I’m not excited; I am, at least to some degree. But see, I’m a “thrifty” person in a lot of ways. I budget-wisely and save in a responsible fashion; I wear underwear until they are literally falling apart at the seams and I will eat Kraft Macaroni and Cheese that was prepared a week ago should I find it lurking in the back of the fridge. So it’s a bit jarring to spend this kind of money on a concert.
The tickets were easily the most I’ve ever spent on any single entertainment event, and for that kind of money, you expect the BEST TIME EVER, right? I’m not delusional enough, however, to expect even one of the top 10 concerts of my life.
But I know it probably won’t be the worst show I’ve seen involving a withered legend, either.
That trophy goes to Bob Dylan, who I saw at Spirit Fest in August of 1997. Although the setlist was short, it was great; a Google search tells me he played “Tangled Up in Blue,” “Stuck Inside of Mobile…” “Like a Rolling Stone,” “Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right,” and the underappreciated and magnificent “You Ain’t Goin’ Nowhere.”
It wasn’t the songs he chose to play, though, that were problematic. It was that he spent 90 minutes or so channeling Classic Live Bob Dylan: grumpy, mumbling, and generally acting as though he’d rather be anywhere else in the world rather than on a stage in front of the Liberty Memorial.
The whole experience was basically like watching a sleepy vampire in a Nudie suit collect a paycheck.
That said, I’m not sorry I went. I got to see BOB DYLAN in the flesh. Even though it was a pretty awful performance—I mean, Violent Femmes and Moby were both better performers that night, as I recall—one of my all-time favorite artists was like, half a football field away from me, disinterestedly mumbling some of my favorite songs into a shitty PA.
And here’s the deal: Bob Dylan was only FIFTY-SIX at the time! I called in sick to Olive Garden that night because my whole line of thinking was, “Welp, this might be the only time I get to see him. He could keel over tomorrow.” (In my defense, I was 16-years-old; to a 16-year-old, 56 is positively ancient.) Anyway, I thought he was probably near death, so I went and saw him.
Now the Stones, see, the Stones ARE considerably closer to death. Although they don’t often act as such, they are septuagenarian grandfathers. (Septuagenarian grandfathers with long, illustrious histories of drug usage, to boot.) And while I’m not suggesting that they seem six months away from being placed in assisted living facilities against their will, it doesn’t seem super likely that they’ll be touring much after this. The last time they played in KC was 1999; sixteen years from now, Mick and Keith will be 87. (Charlie Watts, insanely, will be 90.)
So I guess what I’m saying is, this will probably be my only opportunity to see The Rolling Stones live and in person. So I’m going to go. And, while I’m not expecting it to be everything that dreams are made of— “Paint It Black” is a rarity on recent setlists, and I’m not sure they know how to play “Ruby Tuesday” at all anymore—I bet it will be at least OK.
In any case, it can’t be any worse than Bob Dylan.
Far as Dylan, he never wowed me… his as described stage persona reminds of writer Charles Bukowski – “I don’t hate people. I just feel better when they aren’t around.”
Though not too many birthdays behind Jagger, et al, Kerouac was never a big fan the ‘Strolling Bones’, but am certain their worst is still (subjectively) better the 99% piffle that passes for music/talent, 2015.
‘Time’ marches on, if not necessarily tastes, Kerouac’s ensconced 1960’s, selectively.
If you are entertained I guess it isn’t a waste of money. At least you are realistic in your description of what you will see unlike that chicky from the Pitch that says the Stones concert is ‘the must see concert of the year!’. Pppppfffffffff.
I have better ways to waste my lucre.
Yeah, calling it the “must see concert of the year!” is a bit weird. A big deal for certain demographics, certainly, but “must see” insinuates something that, well, you MUST SEE. I feel like most people will be OK without seeing the Stones.
Turned down two free tickets to The Stones. Although I enjoy the majority of their “playlist”, I prefer to listen to them as they were and not so much as they are. I agree with the Dude. Nothing you enjoy is a waste of money.
Gotta hand it to those petrified/pickled sons-a-bitches. They just might outlive us all.
Yeah, their relative good health and vitality is pretty remarkable, given their history. But I mean they can’t– CAN’T– tour for TOO much longer, right? Not at this level, anyway. They seem well-suited for today’s modern music festivals. Headline one night and make more money than the Koch brothers.
The Monarch was also at Liberty Memorial for Spirit Fest in 1997. You wont say it but i will. Dillon was clearly sh*tfaced.
A very disappointing experience indeed.
Huh, really? I honestly don’t remember getting that impression, but I may have not been very with it, either… as a hormonally explosive 16-year-old, I’m sure every single woman walking around commanded more of my attention than Bob. I remember being disappointed, but not surprised, though. He hasn’t ever really been known as an astounding live performer. I actually heard his recent show in KC was decent, for what it’s worth.
I think around that time he found out he had some kind of bacterial infection in his brain that affected his speech. He eventually got treated for it and you could actually understand him.
My apologies. I feel bad for the concensus conclusion drawn by our group.
The bacteria was apparently also having a negative effect on his balance and general attitude towards life on that particular evening.
I swore off the Stones after their ’82 Farewell performance at Folsom Field: Mick’s voice was already so shot that he made Dylan sound like a 50s crooner in comparison.
George Thorogood & the Delaware Destroyers were smokin’ hot though, well worth the cost of a ticket. Hell, even Mellencamp was surprisingly good (a replacement for Heart.)
I do have a souvenir – the Colorado Daily had a reporter out who took a crowd shot that caught me in all my stoned glory: see?
Are you the shirtless, porn-stached gent who appears to be seeing a non-existent dragon growing out of that lady’s back? In any case, holy crap, look at that crowd!
Yeah, that looks like the crowd for the Plaza Lighting Ceremony.
🙂
Or what the Plaza Plaza lighting used to look like…
Nah, I’m the shirtless dude a couple rows in front, between the 2 chicks.
And, yeah – that’s what stadium concerts looked like “back in the day.” Waaaaaay too many people; couldn’t pay me now to get near a crowd that size now.
…though I might could be tempted by some quality mesc.
Holy cats that looks like torture. Where was it? Gitmo?
Folsom Field, ’81.
Hey can somebody who went write about what it was like? As this blog shows aging is now more than ever considered a crime in many ways. “Get out of our way older people” mentality. I understand its been that way. People live longer and stay in the game way beyond what they used too as a group. With no new super groups in rock to speak of this is the long swan song for us ‘boomers’…and yeah its sad. I’ve said before it seems the 60’s thru the 90’s were maybe THE time in America. With todays social media taking over most everything the world has changed. We don’t interact like we once did, young people are more distant than ever and communication skills have eroded.
Seeing those ‘Boomer’ era music groups brings many of us back to our younger days when things were a bit easier and more fun. Had someone told me that rock and roll would for the most part die off, I just wouldn’t have believed I’d live to see that, but I did. Hip hop, rap etc…has been around for decades and rules the roost. I’m sure at some point that will die off as well. I don’t know what sound will be next. Maybe a new version on rock, who knows.
I don’t think seeing the Stones is a crime or something to belittle. Of course they are mostly a mega super group to watch and remember what was and not what is today. LIke most of us ‘boomers’ I saw them decades ago in LA and at college in ASU days. I wish there were groups today that had replaced them, there aren’t. The talent is out there for suer just not the interest from the younger people in that sound. Why? Don’t know. Each generation wants to make its mark. Dumping on what was is part of moving on to the next things.
What was is fading in many areas: film, tv, sports, nightlife entertainment, dinning all changing. Who would have believed that AMERICA’S top sport, baseball would be replaced by football. Being heavyweight champ in boxing, no longer a big deal and boxing dying, who is or was ‘Ali’ to the younger generation, let alone Babe Ruth or Mickey Mantle, their fame and history fading away. Yep it hurts. With their fading so goes our own lives and importance. So the STONES matter in more ways than just music. a fading memory of some great days never to be seen again. At least not like that.
My thoughts on the show should be up soon.
Oh, woe is me uncle rico gramps. You are pretty close to pushing up daisies so you won’t have too much longer to worry.
Glaze…the show was incredible…but sad.
Because this is probably the last time we see this super band live.
For 50 years they’ve been a huge factor in the rock world. Although they’ve really
had nothing big for years…the songs they sang did bring back some great memories.
Even in their 70’s they’re still going strong. And mick was mick…energized and
upbeat…and “START ME UP” AND “BEAST OF BURDEN” sounded as good
as ever.
Sat next to 3 college students who said they grew up listening to their parents
play the stones in the house.
And who can forget all the years of the chiefs opening with start me up as their
opening chant.
Yes glaze…the world is changing. Faster than we could ever imagine.
Last week saw how really quickly our world changes. But that’s what we are in for.
Good…bad…if life nothing stays the same.
It’s just that for many of us these changes that took forever come at us so fast.
Hope lefty enjoyed the stones. They are one of the few musical bands that
could last as long as they have and still draw the biggest grossing shows everywhere
in the world.
luv to all.
God bless America.
Harley
Who’s this, the new hhhaarley? Speaking of, where is the ol’ curmudgeon?
funny….you must be one of hearnes writers…because hehasn’t approved
my comment yet. Wilson…is that you? come on…hearne never
approved this for publication….how do you know that I wrote this when
its not posted on site yet?
I guess there were 60,000 people there. No shootings or drive by’s or rapes.
We are so lucky the Confederate Flag came down and the city had a peaceful concert.
I don’t do drugs. I love life.
I knew you were a horrible parvert, ya frickin’ parvert.
Sorry I missed it…not really. Instead, we ended up at the Howdy Neighbor Show in Pleasant Hill, admission $10. We got jazz, blues, rock, country, polka, 60s, and gospel for 2 and a half hours with one fifteen minute break to hand out auction items.
The proceeds are going for scholarships for Pleasant Hill high school graduates. We had some semi-professional souls all of whom were damned good keeping the folks entertained, and none of which was lip sync’d. It was definitely the best kept secret. As for the Stones, I know how old I am; I know how old I feel after being the MC. I cannot imagine the wonder drug necessary to get me to prance on stage. We had a record crowd, and next year, we’ll do it again. The Stones can’t make that claim either.