Leftridge: Crap for Sale on Craigslist, Father’s Day Edition

Dads, right? I mean, we all got ‘em. Most of the time, they’re at LEAST pretty OK if not better, and even if they’re in prison or like, violently racist, they’re still our DADS, right? They brought us into this world, and they can sure as shit make sure we know that they can take us right back out of it.

Dads.

So once a year, we dedicate a day to the fathers of the world. It’s called “Father’s Day,” and usually, you get him a card and grill up some steaks and ship them to Leavenworth where he can’t eat them on account of federal regulations about shipping inmates steaks, idiot. Don’t waste your time. Instead, find him something you can give him when he gets out. And find it on Craigslist.

For the “Handy Dad”

stihl chainsaw chains – $5 (pleasant hill)

I have used chainsaw chains most have only been used until they were dull and never sharpened. A few have been resharpened and used until they were dull. All of them can be resharpened and used over again.
I have 7-14″ 3/8p $4
3-16″ 3/8p $5
11-16″ 3/8 rapid super $10
7-18″ 3/8 rapid super $10
10-25″ 3/8 rapid super $10
Call or text with any questions. (Redacted)

Holy shit, this guy has a lot of chainsaw chains to sell you. And if I’m understanding his post (which I’m TOTALLY not sure I am, to be honest), they are all dull. Some were dull and then sharpened again, but they are dull again. They are all dull. So if you want to get your dad dull chainsaw chains, this is definitely the place to go.

For the “Outside Dad” (Who Also Loves Lockjaw)

RARE ***1920’s *** Premax steel fishing rod (Belton)

This is a rare 1920’s steel fishing rod only…no reel. In great shape for show piece or to use fishing 🙂 asking $35 obo

This is a cool gift for a dad who likes fishing and/or getting tetanus shots. (Maybe also for dads who like things that were made in the 20s. Dads who like antiques?) Anyway, the good news is that he can show this to people and say, “this is a fishing rod from the 1920s,” or he can use it to fish. Maybe both?! Guess we’ll just have to see!

For the Dad Who Doesn’t Want a Beard or Wants to Make Sure His Beard Stays Trimmed

Wahl Trimmer & Accessories – $10 (Zona Rosa)

This is like new condition. Blades have been oiled. This is a Wahl beard/hair trimmer/cutter with case and accessories. Call Mike or April at (Redacted) Thanks for looking.

Look, if you think it’s weird to buy a used personal grooming apparatus from a website, well, you’re completely right. You should not buy this thing for your dad, even though it’s only $10. Have a little dignity.

For the Dad Who Likes Soda and Antiques, but Only if the Two Intersect

Dad’s Root Beer Bottle (Antique) – $7 (Kansas City)

Unique bottle of Dad’s Root Beer (Antique). Measures: 10 1/2″ Tall. Item will be taken off of CL when it is sold.

If your father likes soda, antiques, and things named after him, may I present to you this antique bottle of Dad’s Root Beer? May I? This gift hits on all cylinders AND it’s only $7. Cha. Ching.

For the NRA Dad

handmade- GREAT GIFT 4 DAD!!!! – $60 (blue springs)

handmade revolver gun from ammo shell casings. has a wire for easy hanging . 11X14 wood plaque fcfs no holds. HURRY THIS WILL GO FAST

No, your eyes aren’t deceiving you. This is a real thing. This is a piece of artwork (?) that is a gun, and, only, get this, IT’S MADE OF SHELL CASINGS!!!!!! AND I CAN SEE THE GLUE THAT’S MAKING IT ALL POSSIBLE!!!!!!1!!! Quite possibly the greatest piece of art ever committed. If your dad loves freedom and is also in the 5^th grade, he will love this art project.

For the Appliance Loving Dad

Great gift idea for Dad! – $75 (Savannah, MO)

Hey, here’s a gift for the dad that has everything. Imagine the surprised look on his face when you give him his very own chest freezer for Fathers Day! This baby is priced right at only $75.00 cash so it won’t crimp your pocket book. And it works good so it might be the COOLEST gift he ever received. And if space is a concern, don’t worry because this little jewel will fit in a space 36″ wide x 24″ deep and 34″ high. That’s probably smaller than that TV the old man wants. So time is running out to get this for dear old Dad – contact us now! Sorry, limit 1 per customer. (Cause we only got one)

This thing once held the chopped up pieces of a dead hooker. (You can tell by the jokes.)

For the Dad Who Likes to Relax

hammock free standing green Great FATHER’S DAY gift – $50 (I-435 Metcalf)

Let dad or grandpa relax under a shade tree this Father’s Day!

Steel free-standing hammock stand with nylon hammock. $50 or best offer.
Comfortably fits an adult. A younger kid, say up to around 11-12 years could fit with an adult to read a story. Not enough room for two adults, though. Kids love playing on this, too.

Has some surface rust, but it’s still structurally sound. I believe these are around $150 new. Easy disassembly for winter storage.

1) Kinda creepy how someone modeled the hammock.

2) I like how they specify “not enough room for two adults, though” because that means that someone has tried (and failed) to fuck in this hammock you’re buying your father.

For the Dad Who Needs to Build Up His Modeling Portfolio

Father’s day special – $30 (kc metro area)

Father’s Day special. On location, Sitting fee $30. Includes 1 8×10, & 5- 4×6 edits on CD, GTD by father’s day if taken by the 19th

This isn’t real. Is this real? I think this might be real… No. Can’t be real.

For the Dad Who Likes a Bunch of Random Shit

“Father’s Day” Lot of stuff…. – $10 (Belton)

“Father’s Day” Lot of stuff…. take it all for $10.00 please call or txt for more info: (Redacted)

Um, OK. Whatever.

For the Transgendered Dad

Limited Edition Shirt for Moms on Fathers Day – $12 (0nline)

Have an Awesome mom that’s Done more then just be a mom to you? Get her this limited edition shirt for Fathers Day This run last until June 3rd so get it now while you still can!! order before june 3rd and get it by Fathers Day

I assume that’s what this is for, right? For dads who become moms? Cool. Cool shirt.

For the Dad Who Likes to Breed, Eat or Fuck Lambs

Shetland sheep ram lambs – $100 (King City)

These 2 boys are half brothers, but born on the same day, 28 Apr 15. Almost ready to wean, you can wait or finish them out on a bottle to tame them down. The father is a registered shetland but the mothers are not, so no papers on the babies. $100ea.
Located in King City, which is 25 mi NE of St Joseph.

Willing to trade for LGD females. Pup or adult if she’s been around livestock. Mixes are ok as long as they are all guardian breeds, Anatolian, Pyrenees, maremma, akbash, etc.

I have nothing to add.

Happy Father’s Day, KCC!