Now that film is no longer used in most theaters, my dirty little secret can finally be told…
I used to use Tampax at the movies.
OK, but hold it, I’ve got an explanation.
Back when I managed theaters for Commonwealth Theatres in Nebraska and Kansas, digital projection was unheard of. Movies were shown using either 35 mm or 70 mm projectors. There were no high power Xenon lamps either. We used carbon arc “flames” for brightness on the big screen.
But there was a problem.
Many of the older movie auditoriums—especially those with high balconies—had projection booths way, WAY up there. And the projected picture usually demanded a steep downward angle.
So far, so good.
The problem was with the heavily downward tilted projectors at both the Junction and Colonial Theatres in Junk City.
Our Simplex projectors ran smoothly on fine oil to lubricate the various moving parts. However because of the angle of the projectors they were leaking forwards, with oil slowly started to seep into the optical sound reader compartments under the lens mechanism.
The solution?
The answer from our home office technical wiz was simple: Use Tampax.
OK, we thought.
The accumulating oil would be absorbed into the sanitary napkin which seemed to fit just right into the unintentionally moist area.
Problem solved.
EXCEPT for those awkward days I had to take out petty cash and head for the drug store.
Trust me, asking for packages of Tampax never got easier with time.
Thanks to the digital projection of today, Tampax will never again be a vital part of show biz.
This reminds me of that review you did on “Menarche of the Penguins”.
This morning I woke up and shot an elephant in my pajamas.
How in the WORLD did he fit in your pajamas??!!
My wife has been saying “menarch of the penguins” all day and giggling.
I had to look it up.
Before common sense was declared dead. Did you enjoy swimming, horsebsck riding and other sports that Tampax said you could do if you bought their product?
THAT AD. Wow.
One slight correction to the story!
Not being an expert on feminine hygiene products, it wasn’t really Tampax products we used on the projectors. It was the old stand by, KOTEX pads.
Just wanted to stay hygianically correct 🙂
Well geez, man, that’s more than a “slight correction” — that’s like night and day difference! Just ask any woman!
🙂