Talk about too much of a good thing…
Now that the Kansas City Royals are requiring locals to pay much closer attention, I find myself perusing their game stories in the Kansas City Star far more often. Which generally entails reading what beat writer Andy McCullough has to say – which trust me, is usually a mouthful.
Take today’s game story account of the Royals win at Cleveland:
“A desolate ballpark came alive as Mike Moustakas traipsed back to the Royals dugout. A series of high-pitched catcalls echoed through the barren confines of Progressive Field as Moustakas searched for fresh lumber. A lone voice implored him to hurry up. He did not listen.”
Or Sunday’s loss at Chicago:
“Edinson Volquez handed the baseball, the object that betrayed him in the sixth inning of Sunday’s 5-3 loss to the Chicago White Sox, to Royals manager Ned Yost.
Before he exited the diamond, Volquez turned and patted the chest of third baseman Mike Moustakas, the other principal participant in an inning marked by agony.”
Maybe I missed it, but when did Royals wrap-up stories morph into soap opera style melodramas? When did covering what happened in a game take a back seat to over-the-top, breathless nerd overkill?
Former Star sports scribe Joe Posnanski was the master of this genre.
However at least Posnanski tempered his prose by sprinkling in pop culture asides and references to break up his earnestness and effusiveness.
Look, I’ll give McCullough points for sincerity.
He’s obviously completely enamored by the players and the sport of baseball, but there’s really nothing new about jock sniffing. It’s been around for ages.
So has something called restraint.
Say your girlfriend dumps you and you’re all but contemplating ending it all. That’s not the time to lay all that anguish on paper in the form of a missive to the breaker of your heart. It’s the time to count to 10, maybe go have a few beers with Harley and Chuck and then decide what if anything to write.
Posnanski
Of course, McCullough doesn’t have that luxury.
Once the game is done, his editors want the story ASAP. So he’s somehow got to try and manage the intense juices coursing through his journalistic membranes and try and choke out something that tells readers what happened in an entertaining manner that doesn’t suggest that he cried while writing it.
You know, man up.
Deliver the goods, provide some insight, some edge, some passion – but maybe dial back the Harlequin aspect a smidge
A little less of this, for example:
“Inside the visitor’s clubhouse at U.S. Cellular Field, the sight of so much acrimony the night before, the Royals sought calm. The pregame playlist was mellow, acoustic rock. At one point, during a break between songs, outfielder Lorenzo Cain crooned a croaky, a cappella rendition of Bette Midler’s ‘The Wind Beneath My Wings.’ He would later chuckle when asked about his fistfight with White Sox pitcher Jeff Samardzija.”
Do sports fans really want their testosterone served up soft? You know, Harlequin style.
After all, these dudes McCullough are writing about are athletes, jocks. They’re not heroic, historical figures fighting for the very causes that formed the foundation of our society. They’re fighting so they can drive BMWs and live in million dollar homes in cities where their worst restaurants are better than our best.
BTW, here’s Harlequin’s approach:
“You adore a feel-good love story! Harlequin Romance offers uplifting escapes featuring real, relatable women and strong, deeply desirable men. Experience the intensity, anticipation and sheer rush of falling in love.”
Or playing baseball games.
I actually think McCullough does a really good job in his game stories. His predecessor, to his credit, had to find new ways to write about futility day in and day out, but McCullough peppers his stories with analysis and trend spotting, which makes the pedestrian gamer that much more interesting. He may be guilty of some purple prose, but I think he provides solid reporting and interesting analysis. Like Dickie Dunn, he is capturing the spirit of the thing.
I don’t disagree…
I just found it amusing that he gets so carried away trying to dramatize his ledes.
I think McCullough is doing a great job, I follow him on Twitter and he does an hour long live chat that gives the average fanatical a chance to ask insider questions, of which he certainly has access. He also has a pretty good sense of humor, often directed towards himself or Mellinger. I can see why the Star imported him from Philly or wherever he came from back east.
Andy also has occasional award winning prose. After one particular victory last August(when the Royals were on fire) Andy just wrote the most testosterone filled account of KC’s offense that night. I wish I could re-read that article, it was certainly one of his best.
And yeah, we’ve all read his magnum opus article on Lorenzo Cain last year..but I’m finally tired of that one. Go KC!
Good points, Furioso…
I’m not trying to barbecue him, just give him a hard time for being so constantly overwrought.
Kinda makes me wonder if the way his brain processes everything is like in super slow motion, with each and every minor detail supersized to the 10th power.
Like when McCullough strides into his bathroom to start the day, a voice in his head narrates his approach to the pristine porcelain sink glistening by the dawn’s early light. A half used, green and red tube of Mr. Bacon toothpaste beckoning. The the cool floor tiles sending shivers up his back as he shakes off the cobwebs of a deep sleep and scrubs his chiclets as he prepares for a deep session of fantasy baseball analysis.
About 6 months ago, all of you Pem Day dudes were all congratulating each other on your knowledge of Proust and “Remembrance of things Past”.
Have a French Fry.
Ouch.
Andy has been an outstanding addition to the KC media. His game summaries show a depth of the written language we’ve not seen in KC in awhile. Hearne, if you prefer straight, no-frills writing, go to Jeff Flanagan’s work for MLB.com.
And, as Furioso noted, Andy’s a great follow on Twitter.
It’s not that I’m a strict no frills guy…
His ledes just seem a bit over-the-top formulaic.
I’m glad to see you guys defending him though. I’ll try reading a little deeper. I’m into the Royals and all – just not to the point of panting while I’m reading about them.
Hearne, love this site it just seems like the Star actually hit a home run with McCullough. He’s kind of like the Brian Stelter of Royals baseball except he’s not grotesque. Andy is just a great fit and everybody in KC wants only positive notes on the Royals after 20 years of that deep, dark, depression. Go KC!
I want to see The Star survive and do well, as well, Furioso…
Hey, who else is there to critique?
However I was talking to one of the former top execs there the other day who was very pessimistic about its future.
Who talked about newspapers trapped in a tailspin and trying to get out by doing the same things they’ve always done. Which no longer are doable in today’s world.
When you get right down to it, believing that newsprint is going to be around in any kind of major way is like Ds s will as well.
I think we’ve all accepted that the odds of the latter are slim, other than in very limited numbers.
Raise your hand if you attended “Record Day”?
Meanwhile the revenues that appear achievable in local online news content are such a tiny fraction of what newspapers are used to living off of that it’s hard to imagine them surviving in anywhere near the size or form they are now.
The biggest hurdle being that they no longer are able to deliver for most of their advertisers and have yet to come up with such a strategy.
Kind of like the Yellow Pages.
Google however is weighing in with targeted ads, but what is being lost in this shuffle is the wide shotgun approach.
When you thumb through a Pitch, you page past every ad – not just the ones Google targeted you for.
Oh, there’s a lot to critique out there. I put the Star and newsprint under the same black umbrella as golf, tennis, indie movies, music industry, cable tv, evening news, late night talk shows.
All these are struggling to keep from becoming extinct, usually for the same reasons: Internet, Internet piracy, why go outside and play?
Posnanski’s syrupy crap is/was the worst. His cock-slobbering book on Paterno, hopefully, put the final nail in his coffin. I’ll take Andy over Joe’s formulaic cotton candy any day of the week.
I actually think the decision by both Poz and his publisher to write that book on Paterno took a lot of guts. It was a good book and it did give JoePa’s side of the story.