New Jack City: Mommy Porn – ‘Mr. Grey Will See You Now’

This Valentine’s Day why not give that special someone a whip?

That’s Hollywood’s wish, anyway.

There hasn’t been this much excitement about an erotic fantasy movie targeted largely to married women over 30 since 2012’s MAGIC MIKE. And we all remember that one, don’t we guys?

Of course I’m talking about the movie 50 SHADES OF GREY—or what some might refer to as ‘mommy porn’  – R-Rated mommy porn, as it were.

And the fan base for this chick flick is going bunkers.

With the film’s opening just a week and a half away, advance ticket sales are reportedly through the roof with some theaters experiencing complete auditorium buyouts.

In fact, Comcast’s Universal Pictures is allowing advance screenings for complete theater buyouts as early as Monday, February 9th.

So just who IS reserving these auditoriums for this first film installment of E.L. James‘ steamy trilogy?

Groups of friends. Girls night out parties. Radio stations. Housewives hoping to share in the erotic visual thrills of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey‘s BDSM romp games.

A glass of wine and the forbidden fantasies of dominance and submission in a play room – yeah, that’s the ticket…………

But guess who ELSE is renting theaters outright for private showings of 50 SHADES OF GREY? I mean, besides the usual suspects…

The sex toy industry, that’s who!

They’re inviting customers to special Passion Parties in theaters where they can pitch the latest adult toys and gear to guests before the magic happens.

It’s a genius stroke – and a long way from the days of Tupperware parties – although sex toy parties have been a staple of suburbia for a couple decades.

And if 50 SHADES doesn’t do the trick next week, then just wait a while.

On July 1st Channing Tatum is taking a road trip to Myrtle Beach for a stripping convention in MAGIC MIKE XXL.

Valentines’ Day 2015: Whip me, beat me, write me bad checks……