ANAL EEL ANTICS
We’re pretty much all familiar with run of the mill sexual fetishes, but here’s one that takes the cake…
Seems an unidentified man got a South American Lungfish stuck inside his anus after seeing it done on a porn video. I mean, why not? The gerbil thing is so 1990’s.
At least we can positively say this is one thing that has never happened in Craig’s bedroom, where the magic truly happens…
There was only one problem with said dude’s plan. Once all 20 inches of love got all up in his business, it kind of liked it there. Next MR. EEL decided to take a trip up the Hershey Highway, got hungry and ate through the mans colon, large intestine, finding its way into his body cavity.
The operating room was filled with “observers” (who can be heard laughing and gasping) as the fish or snake or whatever it is was finally pulled from the patient’s intestines. The eel was still alive at the time it was removed but died shortly after its removal.
WARNING: Video more GRAPHIC than what Chuck posts.
SHE’S A ’10’ BUT SHE’S DEAD IN BED!
A Chinese gang of 11 men were arrested this week for digging up the bodies of recently deceased young women.
AND Here’s why the tips hotline works.
Police were investigating a man on a stolen bike charge when they found other bikes and mopeds hidden at his house. Wang Tsou, 34, when taken in for questioning, folded like a limp fortune cookie and confessed to also stealing the body of a young woman from the local cemetery.
Why? Do you really have to ask?
It’s an ancient Chinese custom that solved a couple of problems.
One, if a younger son wanted to get married but the older brother was not yet married himself, the family could acquire a “ghost bride” for a measly $2,000 to $6,000, depending, of course, upon the freshness of the “bride.” Bodies dead for more than a few weeks don’t bring as much.
I’m sure we can all understand why.
Also, it’s believed a man shouldn’t pass into the afterlife without a mate or he would be alone for eternity. Lets be honest. How many of us haven’t wished for that very thing; an eternity of peace and quiet?
In the US, we get seven years of bad luck for breaking a mirror (unless of course, we have a good attorney). However Chinese families believe that men who are buried alone will bring bad luck on their families for future generations. Stealing a recently dead girl’s body from her family’s grave remedies that. Those Chinese, they’re problem solvers!
*******
Houston Police Have new Drug Enforcement Policy
Twenty-six-year-old Patrick Quinn, a Houston School Resource Officer (SRO) pulled over a motorist and said he found marijuana paraphernalia. Deciding to short cut the woman’s infraction and keep her out of the court red tape, he informed her he had a foot fetish and would release her if he could sniff her feet. After some deliberation, he agreed to a lesser charge and if the motorist gave him her underwear Quinn would drop all charges and let her go free.
Seems the Houston police have reason to think this wasn’t his first offense. They charged him with two counts of “official oppression” and set him free on $2,000 bond.
The woman settled out of court with the Houston Police in exchange for a $5,000 gift card to Victoria’s Secret and a year of unlimited pedicures. Quinn has been suspended by the Cypress-Fairbanks school district.
What goes on in Glazer’s bedroom is between him and his 20-something lungfish. Rumor has it that said lungfish used to be a stripper at a swim-up bar.
ARMAGEDDON!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! That’s a classic tale of KiKi and his gerbil.
Oh, I thought it was the story of when Glazer met Gere.
I thought long and hard on that one….
correction. It was a Striper at a Sushi Bar.
Jim aka, classic take; appreciate you, man.
I don’t even know what to say…
Wow, that video is ruff! The laughter during the piscatorial, operational efforts to save the victimS, is chilling. It looked kind of like Ice Fishing, but far more dangerous. It took a lot of guts. Maybe it was a new kind of Colon Blow gone wrong.
You know it is bad when the SPCA gets worked up about a Lung Fish.
If I got Chuck CLOSE to “not knowing what to say….” my work here is complete!
Disappearing posts …. again.
Whatcha mean, Jack?
He should have used an electric eel. He would have gotten a real charge out of that!