Hearne: The Secret of Des Moines, Iowa’s Success

Trust me on this…

You wouldn’t want to have to live in Wichita. Just being from there must be a downer, judging from the folks I’ve in Kansas City who run successful bars, restaurants or businesses that practically apologize for being from the land down under.

And don’t get me started on Topeka.

I think I’ve made myself clear on how lame the capital of Kansas is and you know how much I hate to repeat myself.

Omaha?

Doable, I suppose, if one had to.

Although after suffering through two years in Lawrence, Kansas’ KU basketball cult, I’m pretty sure 24/7 Cornhusker Mania would be equally insufferable.

And despite the physical charms of Omaha’s Old Market, my experience was the people didn’t appear much different than the folks at Sam’s in Topeka. I know I’m being catty, just trying to keep it real.

Like most rural cities, cooler dudes like Nebraskans Kevin Collison and Greg Hall usually find a way to escape the gravitational pull to places like Kansas City or Denver.

Which brings us to the topic of the day, Des Moines, Iowa.

And while this may represent a rush to judgement, I have to say, I think I could actually handle living in Des Moines. Seriously.

For starters it’s an ultra clean, well-maintained town with most of the basics and sans any overly rabid sports hysteria, unless you count Drake.

And pretty much anywhere and everywhere you go in Des Moines, everything looks tip-top. Almost as if the City Fathers/powers-that-be actually took pride in keeping things up.

The opposite is the case for example, in Hot Springs, Arkansas, where I took the fam for Spring Break last year. It’s literally impossible to find even a Starbucks that doesn’t look dirty and run down in Hot Springs.

It comes down to money, and Des Moines has a shitload of it.

In designating Des Moines as “America’s Wealthiest City” last January, The Today Show noted that the capital city of Iowa “was recently named the best city for business and careers by Forbes Magazine. Kiplinger called it best for families and the Martin Prosperity Institute dubbed it one of America’s most productive”

Three years ago US News labeled Des Moines “the richest metropolitan area in America,” stating that according to its analysis of metropolitans areas of 500,000 or greater population, “the Hawkeye State capital has the highest median income in the nation relative to the cost of living.”

Just ask the natives.

And natives, of course I mean the bartenders and shop keepers. They boast that Des Moines is the insurance company capital of the country.

Which is evidenced by the prominent, classic Traveler’s logo on the building adjacent to downtown Des Moines’ towering, 45 story Principal Financial Group skyscraper. Wells Fargo has a corporate campus in West Des Moines. Hy-Vee is headquartered there too, as is the tackily-named Kum & Go.

Speaking of West Des Moines, that’s the one idiosyncrasy I don’t get.

In KC, there are darn good reasons for distinguishing between Kansas City, Missouri and KCK.

Things like state lines, rivers, racism, culture, etc. Between West Des Moines and Des Moines, I don’t see what there is to run away from.

And check out the Iowa State Capital that overlooks the relatively new, tres hip, Historic East Village, collective of bars, restaurants, shops and boutiques.

Missouri’s capital building is impressive, Kansas is okay, but Des Moines’s is the total package. Cool as hell looking and in the perfect location – right by the East Village – and just a stone’s throw from a thriving downtown.

Face it, nobody would want to get stuck living in Jeff City, let alone Topeka.

The Iowa state capital also casts a shadow over one of the best-named gay bars ever, The Blazing Saddle. Which by the way is hosting the 26th annual Iowa Leather Weekend in October, complete with a “meat and greet” and something called “Kink U.”

I doubt Bill Self will be attending but maybe I can get Craig to check it out.

I have a theory as to why entertainment districts like Omaha’s Old Market and Des Moines’ Historic East Village have been able to ramp up so quickly in recent years.

And that’s because those run down areas and cities were so much smaller than Kansas City, St. Louis and Chicago that there were far fewer options to sort through.

And while these areas were blighted – and in the case of the East Village slated for demolition as recently as 2000 – they were very small and central enough to render their resurrections affordable and expedient. Kinda like downtown Chattanooga, Tennessee if you’ve ever been through.

Unlike Kansas City, which has numerous cool areas spread around the city, from the River Market to Westport, the Crossroads, downtown, Waldo (you-name-it ), Des Moines really only had one logical way to go and was able to get critical mass in short order.

Take Wooly’s concert hall and nightclub smack in the heart of East Village, that accommodates just under 700 people and – unlike our dearly departed Beaumont Club – has excellent sight lines and bar logistics.

There’s even a city owned outdoor concert venue on the river between East Village and downtown – a very short distance, I might add – that hosts many of the same shows that appear here at the Crossroads, Midland, Uptown or Starlight.

And as mentioned in my last piece, where Kansas City is dangerously close to having ZERO true, high end audio/home theater shops, Des Moines has two, Audio Video Logic and Audio Labs.

The funny thing being that many high end electronics manufacturer’s reps are based in Kansas City – a town that dwarfs Des Moines five fold – yet we have almost nothing, while their shops are prospering.

And don’t sell those rich, Iowa farmers short either.

In summary, Des Moines is a well-heeled city with a rapidly increasing appetite for the finer, hipper things and they’re making it happen.

It’s big enough to have the sort of things Wichita and Topeka can only dream of – like an Apple Store – yet small enough to where you can get from Point A to Point C in practically no time.

It’s clean as a whistle and barely a five hour drive from Chicago.

It’s got the hippest, funnest presidential primary and a liberal bent that Kansans can only dream of. The summer temps are a bit cooler, the winter temps liveable.

In short, it’s a podunk town from the past that’s fast tracking its way into the future.

In the middle of nowhere? Oh, yeah.

Hey, but so are we.