The suicide of Robin Williams has left Craig Glazer in a pensive mood…
“Have you ever thought about committing suicide?” he asks. “How would you do it? I think most people probably think about suicide. Like when you’re cornered and you don’t see a way out. The bigger picture is, you read about celebrities and wealthy individuals who want to end it all. Maybe it’s a divorce. Everybody has those moments.
“I just don’t understand why people choose such graphic methods. Like Robin Williams. You know, jumping in front of trains, crashing their airplanes. Jumping off bridges and buildings. Blowing their brains out. It’s like why do people choose such excruciating ways to end it?”
The last time it crossed Glazer’s mind as a serious possibility was on September 11, 2001, a day that will live in – for him – double infamy for all time.
“That was the day the twin towers went down,” Glazer muses. “And that’s also the day I got indicted.”
While most people in this country over the age of 25 or 30 remember that day all too well, nobody remembers it better than Glazer and his party pal at the time, former Kansas City Star sports columnist Jeff Flanagan.
Flanagan
I actually remember walking into the lobby of the newspaper that morning and speaking to the guards who had met with F.B.I. agents who come down to see Flanagan in connection with an accusation later proven to be false that Glazer had dealt drugs.
“I got a phone call from Jeff at the Star – and I was waking up to the most shocking news story of our lives,” Glazer says. “And he said, ‘The F.B.I. agents are here asking about are you a big drug dealer or a gangster. What should I tell them?’ And I said, ‘Just tell them the absolute truth.’
“I mean, I was frightened. It was the F.B.I. organized crime task force. But what really frightened me was it was a federal indictment – which is very scary – and with huge sentences. They’re just not somebody you want to mess with, because if they target you, you’re going down. So it really depressed me.”
Even though Glazer was innocent, things were looking good.
“I talked to the top lawyers in Kansas City and they all told me they’d never won a drug case against the feds,” Glazer says. “They always plea bargain them down. And so I told them what really happened – of course, they probably didn’t believe me – and they said, ‘Well, your case is better than most. How much drugs did they catch you with?” And I said, ‘Nothing.’ But still the lawyers all felt I’d probably have to plea it out and get 5 to 10 years.”
Not a happy prospect for the middle aged comedy club owner in his 40s.
“And I began to think, ‘Is it fair to me at my age to surrender my middle age to go into a federal institution for maybe 10-plus years?’ I felt I could get that whittled down, but still it wasn’t good,” Glazer says. “And I started thinking about my options. Like I didn’t want to go through all that and come out with nothing.
“So given a horrible set of circumstances – I was about to lose my freedom again; about to lose my life savings to fight the damn thing; and my business would have probably been gone by the time I got out – what was I going to come out to? I mean, I might have been getting out right about now.”
Glazer (center) in his Prison Days
That’s the last time suicide halfway seriously crossed Glazer’s mind.
“I started thinking about my options,” he says. “Like I don’t want to go through all that and come out with nothing. And I was depressed and it made me think about suicide. But I don’t think I would have done it. I mean, I’m a fighter.”
Which brings us back to the question, how would he have done it?
“So I looked into it and I remembered a story I had heard about a couple who pulled into their garage and they were making out or something with the car on and they fell asleep and never woke up. And I thought, ‘Hey, if you’re going to go, that’s a pretty good way to go.’ And I thought, well, there’s always O.D. but sometimes they pump your stomach.”
Glazer’s bottom line:
“We’ve all thought about doing it,” he says. “So you know, for me, if I had to go, that’s how I’d do it.”
Then again, “If I was really going to do it, I wouldn’t be here now,” Glazer says.
You sure that’s a prison? Looks like tryouts for “Riverdance”.
Actually it is the green room for RuPaul’s drag Race.
Nothing gay about that picture….Well, maybe just a little gay. Okay, it’s a lot gay.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
No…, huh uh, no…, that’s right…
Yeah…
Yeah…, it’s a nice picture.
It’s an out-take from Bear magazine, I think.
I’ve thought about your suicide, Craig, when I needed cheering up.
Come on now boys I look damn good on that prison yard iron pile. Those were the NOT GOOD OLD DAYS, DAYS…yeah I was lucky to get out of that last deal in 2001. By the way Jeff Flanagan was a great friend and stood up for me at his own peril. I miss seeing him like the old days. Great guy, talented sports reporter who did nobody any harm and stood up for me when it counted. A good person. He is doing great with Fox Sports now.
Craig Glazer future bets:
One day his Rug will become older than the stripper from Shady Lady: 1.5:1
Dies in a tragic accident involving getting the drawstring of track pants caught in an industrial fan: 10:1
Cocaine related heart attack: even money
Incredibly loud, incredibly annoying dementia where he writes 4 blog posts a week: 3:1
Made an example of by Overland Park: 2:1
Writes column claiming Royals suck, then just reverses column and reprints it claiming they are good: 4:1
Makes another imaginary prop bet that cannot be bet on bovada or any major online house: 1:5
Calculates individual parts of the prop bet with lowered spreads when claiming his winning % is 65%: 1:10
Becomes a billionaire finding a way to permanently eradicate “The Drip”: 5:1
Vocal notes removed, turns out it was the Police Academy guy all along: 2:1
vocal nodes that is
Hah, hah. Some good ones. By the Way B all my bets are real. I know you don’t want to believe it, check out my bets vs. sportsandodds.com and then under those this season you can hit VEGAS ODDS as well and see about six hotels with their odds and the overall average…I generally use MGM they seem to be best on major hotels…right now in Vegas at some hotels the Chiefs are at 8 1/2 for season magic number…BUT, the odds have risen from 120 to win 100 to 185 to win 100, not so good, but a sure winner. By the time I get there in about ten days it will surely be 2 to one, 200 to win 100 on the under. SPORTSANDODDS even gives you the public % of bets on each team etc….pretty good one and it is an offshore site. I don’t use it to bet I do that in legal cities like Las Veges. Or with small ones a buddy.
I have said the Chiefs are an untalented team, I see them winning 6. 7 would be a good year for them, 8 I’m shocked and 9 to beat no way.
I never said the Royals had no talent. I said they were not a playoff team. Their core players, Hosmer, Moose,Butler, Gordon had not jelled enough to make them a post season winner. While Gordon has become a baby star, the others have not…the Royals pitching, defense and man the bull pen in the back is massive good, proved me wrong. They will likely go post and win the division… I don’t bet baseball hardly at all. Ever.
The Chiefs just flat have little talent, no O line, no defense one new receiver the tight end who was injured looks good, they are a bad team..won’t do well….I put that on my football honor.
Teams to watch out for this year for titles and maybe a super bowl run GREEN BEY, EAGLES, NEW ENGLAND,DENVER…I know only Eagles are a surprise but these teams looked best in preseason…as did the Seahawks…the Eagles really surprised me. Great offense there.
I hope the Royals do well. I want our city to smile.
Im a little more bullish on the Chiefs than you. Bovada has them at over under 8 with over 8 giving 110 for every 100 bet. But yeah Bovada also has that brutal -140 if you pick the under.
It becomes a different animal at 8 than 8.5 though. At 8 you get an easy push. With 8.5 they have to go 9 and 7 for you to not lose. Considering how bad the Raiders, Titans, Cardinals and Chargers and Jets are those are some pretty easily won games.
I agree with the general views on the Royals but who cant root for them? Too good a story.
If I was betting a team to win it all Id bet NOLA at 19 to 1 odds. Of course there are better teams but I like those odds.
I think Steelers under 8.5 is probably the best play here.
Anyway, should be a good season.
Best six nfl Teams….seahawks, carolina, new england, denver, saints, green bay
The nfc is stronger conference this year.
The Chiefs are taking hit after hit, 6 and 10.
I love, love, love the New Orleans bet at 19 to 1
Just my opinion.
how do you like your crow glaze…medium or well done?.
this year your fuzzy math is over…a blind dog will beat you on the football bets.
it’s easy to be negative all the time…
Harley whats your Chiefs over under bet. I will cover it.. I say under 8 1/2..in fact I will go 8 under…your move.
Chuck you are a smart man.
If you want to OD, take about half of what it would take to kill you, then, once you’re about to perish, take the rest. Otherwise, I think your body might reject it and you’ll vomit. (Can’t do anything if they find you and pump you, though.)
(I read that in “Apt Pupil” by Stephen King, so you KNOW it’s legit.)