Paul Wilson: Weak in Review – Putin’s Folly, Zimmerman Stand’s His Ground, Insane Clown & Bill Murray Waxes Patriotic

It’s been a slo week…

Snow’s kept the Darwinians inside, but for your consideration, I offer the following  from the all the news that’s not.

2014 #SochiProblems

If you want some great reading, add #SochiProblems to your Twitter feed; apparently Russia needs Mitt Romney to come and fix the glitches:

• My hotel doesn’t have a lobby yet but at least they got the room decor spot on (picture of Putin on night stand)
• Hearing about #SochiProblems leads me to believe that this will be the FIRST HUNGER GAMES! or at least Thirst Games – dangerous face water? (sink full of yellow water pictured)
• My room has no furniture, no water, no curtains; at least 3 out of 4 lights don’t work.
• I have a dictionary of Russian curse words. Please let me know if you need me to look up anything
• Colleague lost hotel room key. Hotel did not have copy. So instead of giving a new key, they removed the whole door.
• I am now in possession of three light bulbs. Will trade for a door handle. This offer is real.

This reminded me of the joke about the Russian who ordered his first new car.

The salesman said, “Congratulations! Your new car will arrive three years from today!” The customer asked, “Morning or afternoon?” to which the salesmen responded, “Why?”

And the customer replied, “The plumber is coming in the morning.”

For Tonight’s MAIN EVENT

The opponent in the yellow trunks threatens to bust a cap in someone’s ass; in the blue trunks, there’s an opponent who really has! Guess which one’s really shot someone. Is it the thug rapper; or the bat shit crazy, fat half Peruvian dude?

That’s right, it’s our friend we love to hate, George “Kel Tec” Zimmerman. He’s been gone too long and we’re so glad to have him back.

No contract has been signed, his people are negotiating with rapper DMX to fight him.

“DMX has promised to beat his ass,” DMX spokesman Domenick Nati told CNN Wednesday. D – I call him “D” because we’re tight – I’ll buy front row seats to this, but two tips from your friend and well-coiffed Scribe; First, check Georgey-boys pockets. Second, don’t fight him in Florida, the boy loves that Stand Your Ground law. And third if you get on top of him, you’re a dead man!

Zimmerman told Radar Online the celebrity boxing match was his idea, even prior to the “incident.”

If I remember, there’s a dead black kid somewhere in that “incident.”

Want to see something you’ll never forget?

Get to Kaiser, MO between the 6^th and 9^th of August for Insane Clown Posse‘s “Gathering.” In case you’re not familiar with their fans or what a Juggalo is, I offer this from the Urban Dictionary:

For the most part, an uneducated, pathetic excuse for a human being who listens to the group ICP. People you see wearing “hatchet-man” accessories. They should not be allowed to reproduce, because that is too cruel to future generations. ICP isn’t rap, it isn’t metal, it isn’t rap/metal, and it isn’t horrorpop. There is only one way to properly categorize ICP; unnecessarily and unartfully offensive and obnoxious noise. The juggalo is stupid enough to think that ICP is music.

Take a case of Faygo (carbonated urine that comes from gay clowns) and you’ll have  some friends for life.

I love me some Bill Murray

My son got to hang out with him in Austin, at SXSW a couple years back; Murray’s just an all-round interesting guy in my book. It just came across my desk that Bill he’d been on Squawk Box a year ago, but it’s well worth wrapping up this piece of garbage with some of his words.

“I think we ought to be personally responsible,” Murray said, “I think if you can take care of yourself, and then maybe try to take care of someone else, that’s sort of how you’re supposed to live.

“I think there’s only so many people that can take care of themselves, and can take care of other people. And the rest of the people … they’re useful in terms of compost for the whole planet, you know.”

Murray said the United States is a “pioneer country,” but that many seen to have forgotten the discipline early Americans needed just to survive.

“Occasionally, it seeps in that they came in wagons from Illinois to Oregon or whatever. That they came in wagons and the wheels broke.”

Murray added that this image leads to thoughts such as, “Gee, that must have been hard for those women to push that wagon up that mountain and (so) that’s what they had to do. There was no option but to do it yourself, to have your own responsibility.”

Murray’s comments seem to imply that people should wean themselves off government aid and he criticized both parties for their partisan bickering.

“They spend all their time just trying to destroy the other guy, not to work together, but to humble and humiliate the other so that they can’t have success.

“It’s not working to serve anyone anymore,” he added. “I don’t want to sound like a Rotarian, but if you’re not some sort of common good, and you’re only servicing your sort of partisan alliance, you’re part of what’s destructive, you’re destroying something.”