Geraldo Takes a Selfie
In a picture that I can’t unsee, Geraldo Rivera took the Craig Glazer “Battle of the Best Bods” contest a step too far.
In the early hours of Sunday morning, equipped with nothing more than a cell phone and clad only in his rose colored glasses and a towel barely around his waist, Rivera shot this self-portrait.
I’m just hoping it was a tequila infused lapse of judgment, because otherwise, he’s taken his Trayvon Martin anti-hoodie movement two or three pieces of clothing a little too seriously. If you’re seeing the pubic region with the towel slung that low, it crosses the line from, “I’m hot for 70” to “I’m a 70 year old perv.”
At least Craig had the good sense to wear a sleeveless shirt and dark shades.
No wussy rose lenses for him. And I’m guessing right now, Rivera’s world isn’t looking so rosy, given the tone of some of the callers and multiple comparisons to disgraced former New York pol Anthony Weiner.
After Rivera hit the Twitter send button, he reports his first thought was, “Erica and the family are going to be so pissed…but at my age 70 is the new 50.”
Which I guess makes 80 the new 60. Or something like that.
Rivera’s daughter’s first words; “Dad, you have to get rid of that!”
I stream WABC in my office to catch Imus in the Morning and Geraldo’s show follows Imus. And they knew on Imus what Geraldo would be talking about on his show so I stayed tuned in.
Rivera’s far younger wife Erica called the show and in what sounded like staged, obligatory good humor, said, “This is what happens when I fall asleep first…but I have the hottest 70 year old husband there is!”
That was followed by a call from his Mom in which Geraldo noted that when his mom married her husband he converted to Judaism and underwent a circumcision. To which his Mom had said to the doctor doing the procedure, “Save enough for me!”
So it may all be in the jeans…I mean genes.
In a world of Anthony Weiner and Brent Faavra, (Something About Mary reference), why would you take that risk sober? But then again, this is the guy who hyped Al Capone’s hidden vault for weeks and we watched as the door opened to a dusty, empty room full of embarrassment, very similar to Geraldo’s bathroom at 2:30am Sunday morning.
Oh, you mean Jerry Rivers! The man most responsible to all the mentally ill now on the streets.
My college mentor, Barry Nemcoff, was a producer at Good Morning America when Jer, er Geraldo arrived. Well aware of his “style” of journalism, they kept a close eye on him.
In that distant past, broadcast media did not stage footage. If was a cardinal sin. But they knew he staged shots as his stories had too many Wow-what-a-break-catching-that-one.
Capped-teeth-and-hairdos rule the Infotainment bidniz.
Next up, he will bite a dog, live on Faux News…
My pal Jerry Rivers, I wonder how much he spent on all that surgery.
God, baby boomers like this clown kill me. They seem to want to fight the aging process with all the money and sadness they can possibly throw at it.
My advice; just grow old gracefully and take everything in moderation.
Quit fighting it so much.
I’m blinded
Glazer’s hairy man-boobs clearly refute all his claims of being cut.
Glazer mhoobs.
So the story is comparing 2 70 year old guys?
If Geraldo would have ingested as much coke and hookers as Glaze the playing field would be more even. So Yes they are both 70, but after that it is apples and oranges.
You mean gefilte fish and HGH don’t you?
Are you guys determined to always add 10 years onto whatever craig’s age actually is?
Thought so
If you could get an HONEST answer as how old he actually is and then post it, I would buy one of those stupid fiats you keep pimping.
That is how sure I am that only his mother knows how old he is.
Craig’s mother is no longer alive.
OK, get ready to get 40 MPG and have to fend off schools of beautiful women, Craig tuned 60 earlier this year.
Happy now?
60? Ok, I will take your word for it.
Until he stops taking off 10, I don’t think the rabble will stop.
Personally, everyone says I look great for 90. Alas, I am but a child of 63.
I’m 19.
I’ve just been sick a lot.
Jess, he is indeed, 60. So head on out to Olathe Fiat, write a check and drive away in one of those gayass little cars. All you have to do then is start your own blog and you have arrived.
And in the end you will owe it all to Craig!
You are just jellous of me because you are just a loser ….I will still be better looking when I am 70 than any of you haters on here….if you have some kind of problem with me, meat me behind the high school tomorrow night…loser leaves town lumberjack match….all of my family surrounding the ring….show up if you have any guts….you probably wont…just like smartcoward…all talk no guts…nobody on here is half the man I am or half as good looking…you haters know it’s true and can’t stand it!
Greg, I’m not missing this one; I’ll bring a KC STAR to hold up in front of the camera so everyone will know its real.
I’m a true fan of yours, not like these losers, so if you’d let me be the undercard, I’ll systematically take Harlinus apart, piece by piece and leave him for the dogs.
That should whip the crowd up into a furry and prepare the stage for you in the main event, The Infested Hot Tub Smack Down of 2013!
Your friend, Paul
my favorite meme on here was when people would get bent out of shape and jokingly challenge each other to fight at incredibly far flung and dangerous locations.
“Well if you have any guts you’d show up at the BP parking lot on Benton Blvd right off I-70, u are scared if you don’t come”.
It was like an “In Real Life” timeout for people who got too angry in an anony comments section.
Still love that Glaze thinks that was actually Smartman not someone pretending to be Smartman that challenged him to rumble. I should call his club and pretend to be Louis CK or something. “Book me for a week of headliners, and pay me in coke!”
This is Lewis Black, I will play your rinky dink yuk yuk shack for the equivalent dollar value of all green M&M’s.
Geraldo’s face looks photo shopped on Stephen Hawkings body.
Glaze is just a plain God of the Woodside HOF
Paul please re post pic of Bea Arthur’s tits so I can remove these images.
Bschl
Yeah man, Bea Arthur’s booblies would be a wonderful palate cleanser after all this ick.
Bschloz, I had nothing to do with the Bea Arthur pic. That came from Hearne’s personal files, you’ll have to see him. Come to think of it, his personal file is also where the Glazer topless shot came from.
Coincidence?
I think not.
I noticed Jay Leno had a few comments about Geraldos picture tonight. Send him Craigs picture and lets see what he has to say. Since Craig has been such a major figure in the Hollywood scene.
Very good idea. Maybe he will have Clint on the show as well and he can talk about the big movie deal.
CE will do CG after Jersey Boys. Or not.
The Twitter Universe is No Country For Old Men.
LOL
Well you can’t beat the clock boys. Geraldo looks good for being loaded I guess at the time of that pix, not sure. He is slim, but hey he’s 70 that guy was in shape his entire career. What do you want from him. I know this between that guy and me we’ve slept with a few thousand hot babes and a hundred or so we’d like to forget. He’s had a long and fruitful career. Again nothing lasts forever not even ‘flower pot bread’
As for my photo, you saw me on the cover of Pitch, good photos, some inside when I was 20’s. 30’s, 40’s…all looked very good. I’ve stayed in shape my entire life, some days better than others. The morning of the shot Hearne used for Paul was hungover Friday at radio 6 AM, kinda funky but still ok. Hey nobody on here will send their photo in, right Paul…lets see you or Superdave or any of you guys shirtless on here…my bet is nobody would do it and nobody even the younger guys is likely in as good a shape as I am. Well maybe a few of the under 35 ers who hit it hard…I’d hope so…
As for the couple movie mentions, Rob Lorenz, not Clint is King of Sting director, Clint is exec prod. and its a Malpaso film, Rob is Clint’s partner and has been there for a 15 years and either produced or 1st AD’d almost all of Clints last 15 or so films. Rob Produced Gran Torino, Mystic River and is producing Jeresy Boys with Clint now…its Rob’s job to get film up not Clints…he is hiring the stars now for the film if we get the ones studio wants its a go now…waiting on actors, leads only…me and Woodbeck actors…the rest will be cast after…so I’m waiting on Rob, not Clint. Everything else is ready, money, script, staff everything…down to casting…Hey you ain’t shooting a movie til you are…I know all of you are pulling for me…right. Hah. I’m proud to be at this point and have worked with some of Hollywoods biggest writers and producers on this project for years…we all hope it gets done now. Even Chuck Roven had it for years, he did a few films including BATMAN THE DARK KNIGHT. We’ll see. Thanks for asking.
And even when you shoot that doen’t mean it will make it to screen.
I have a friend who works with Rob Lorenz on various projects and with Clint too.
Trying to figure out what Clint is going to do is impossible even for those closest to him.
Ask Rob about Thom from KC next time you talk.
PS..Rob also just directed Clint in TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE. PS, NEITHER CLINT NOR ROB HAS EVER SHOT A FILM OR PRODUCED A FILM THAT DIDN’T GO TO ALL THE BIG SCREENS. IF WE ARE FORTUNATE TO GET THIS DONE, IT WILL BE IN ALL THE THEATERS. PROMISE.
THANK YOU CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK.
Bring back Screetch to town!
Do you wish to be saved by the smell?
Let me ask you this loud mouth, fake name punk. What is it I did to you for you to such a hateful little bug? Do I know you? Where do you get this dog crap. I am curious. If you want a rise out of me pack up smartcoward and superfatdummy and just drive over. Simple. I don’t know who you guys are or really care, but you all seem to spend your extra time following my every poop. Grow up.
Shut up fool
Yeah, shut the hell up FOOL.
Nobody was talking to you.
Sorry these guys are so mean to you, always loved the club.
Call my agent ASAP I want to do some headliners to test new material for an hourlong special and I need a place that can take me for a week of shows.
Cheers big sexy!
Didn’t Geraldo drug Bette Midler in a bathroom to sleep with her years ago???
Hey were’s all those shirtless shots boys? Show me up? Easy to do according to you all, right. Not!!!! I rest my many cases.
Not to brag but in my younger days I was a featured model on meatspin.com just search for Roger Howe
Don’t want to puff out my chest too much and toot my horn more than Mr. Glazer but I used to do a little modeling on goatsee.com back in the day. Look it up, I know harlinator won’t be able to keep his grubby little paws off his pee pee after one look at me. Just search for Stuuds Jerkel.
Fading; it’s interesting to me how you can be Maria and Fading all at the same time! Nice one, I saw what you did there.
*twists mustache in an evil manner*
Craig, meet me at Indian Mound Park in the historic northeast at midnight
No!!
He was going to meet me at 27th and Prospect at 12:01 AM so I could straighten that toupee for him!!
Buuut, if you want to give him the royal harley oral treatment he’s all yours. I don’t want to get in the way of strong man love.