I’ve spent most of my holiday vacation trying to figure out how retired people know what day of the week it is…
*******
I’m not saying my company is cutting back on healthcare next year, but line one of our medical plan says, “CONSULT WEBMD.”
*******
Hollywood celebrities are now protesting the NRA. For more info Google “Pot Calling Kettle Black.”
*******
A sperm donor in Kansas has been asked to provide child support, even after he signed away any parental rights. A lawyer for the poor guy says he didn’t see it coming.
*******
The world’s oldest living twins just turned 103! The ladies were born in 1909 in Chicago. Things haven’t changed much. They still fight over the same pacifier.
*******
The Top 5 Things You Won’t See in KC in 2013:
#5. A cable TV show featuring Kansas City that isn’t about food.
#4. Boulevard Unfiltered Vegemite.
#3. An AMC theater without soy sauce.
#2. A Republican riding the JO.
#1. A meaningful NFL or MLB game.
*******
Holy Shatto! The price of milk could double next year. Just pretend you’re shopping at Whole Foods.
*******
Lindsay Lohan says she won’t be partying for New Year’s Eve. So there’s something else she has in common with Chiefs fans.
*******
The Comet ISON will approach the Earth by the end of next year and could be brighter than the moon. We haven’t seen a tail glowing like this in space since Sulu!
*******
Missouri‘s minimum wage will rise to $7.35 January 1. It will stay at $7.25 for those of us who work in Kansas. Just remember that the next time you call me upset because I won’t play Justin Bieber for your daughter.
*******
Happy New Year! Thanks for reading my stuff on KC Confidential and I will attempt to take the “fun” out of “funny” for you in 2013. Be safe, as our forecast looks lousy for the last night of the year.
Kelly Urich hosts the morning show on The Point 99.7 FM
Follow me on Twitter @kellyurich and give me a like on Facebook www.facebook.com/kellyurich
Happy New Year Kelly…