Now that the leaves are turning, it’s comedy season again…
The fall and winter brings out the bigger names in the biz with less outdoor events to compete against. And this past week, for first time, Chris Franjola stormed the stage at Stanford’s and smoked it. Chris even surprised me with his unique style and power on stage.
Franjola has two TV series. He’s the lead with Josh Wolf on Chelsea Lately. And he has his own show, “After Lately.” Chris and Josh are the lead writers for both shows.
“I have to watch reality TV and the news all day, every day to write the jokes for the nightly talk shows,” he told me. “That’s right a steady dose of ‘Honey Boo, Boo’ and the Kardashians.”
Needless to say, Chris earns his money.
Franjola’s take on KC: ” I don’t know which place I liked the best, Dave and Busters with those loud games or the T-Rex dinosaur restaurant. Where do they get those menu items?”
Then he looked out at the young audience and said, “You hot girls, I mean do all of you have like 15-20 naked boob shots on your phones? My God, what you stand in the mirror before you go out and just blast away at those boobies – and then go down below – WTF?” When I was your age we had to use a flash camera, drive to the photomat, hand in our Johnson pix and wait two weeks to get them back, God knows who looked at our junk back then.”
Actually, he told it better and got a couple standing ovations with his in your face style.
It didn’t hurt that he looked like a young Bobby Kennedy, although the 20-something girls in the audience wouldn’t have a clue who Bobby Kennedy was.
One nice thing happened.
More than a decade ago I was dating this crazy hot girl named Laurie who had worked at Stanford’s in Westport. I even gave her a small part in that B movie we did in Canada back in the mid 90’s. Hearne wrote about it in the KC Star at the time. The one with Sonny Landham, Frank Stallone, Bryon James (Blade Runner, The Player) and several other veteran actors, including me in a role as an attorney.
Laurie was one of the girls who got shot and killed early on by Stallone. It was called Billy LoneBear.
Laurie moved to LA right after that and her little sister Samantha took her spot at Stanford’s in the early 2000’s. I ended up going out with her although she was a bit too young at the time (but very pretty).
Now it’s 10 years later, she’s a registered nurse working at St. Luke’s. So its round two.
Maybe 10 years will make a difference.
Hey, she cleaned my condo and offered to make me breakfast – I don’t see that everyday. Nice girl, very sweet, looks like Brooke Shields when Brooke was in her 20’s. Nice. We’ll see how it goes.
She came up and watched Franjola – she’s is a Chelsea fan – and knew all about him.
So it was a weekend of laughter and smiles at Stanford’s.
That’s one way to forget the Chiefs and MU and KU football, at least for a few hours.
Brooke Shields?????????
Add blindness to the list of things wrong with you
The pictures don’t lie: http://www.starscolor.com/217-brooke-shields/
I know Dave, she isn’t very hot, not like the ladies you attract…..at the zoo…bud she is I’m sure better looking than ANY chic you ever took anywhere…but I am THE number one player in this town so its hard for me to decide one or another…Samantha is not only very pretty, but kind….means alot these days Dave…now where’s that old dog you kick chunky?
And no the pix don’t lie…hey I look pretty good myself, huh Davie boy.
Your pathetic
Lets see.. Sun Glasses after dark.. wasnt’ even cool when there was a song about it. Swisher sweet in the finger. Smoking is all but extinct and case ya haven’t heard it smells. She looks like a nice girl I can only imagine what tragic turn of events took place in her life to lead her to this less than pinnacle point of existence. Then perhaps she deserves it as some sort of punishment for some other wrong doing. Either way I hope she finds her path to enlightment before its too late.
I stand corrected a closer look shows its your phone. Too much brandy!! Not a swisher sweet my bad but maybe that box camera ya grabbed at the Walgreen’s in Roeland Park.
HR man, I have worn dark glasses for ten years or more, they are prescription, it was done to improve my eyesite…worked….at times I don’t need to wear glasses now…so maybe it seems as if I do it to be cool, but I don’t even think about the fact all my glasses are dark anymore…..I watch TV in them, with nobody around…strange huh.
glaze…i’m not posting these comments…someone
is posting my name on the site…disregard them
…they’re just a bunch of losers on here..
these old fat balding guys on here can’t hold a stick
to the possee of women you hang with.
why even write a column like this when you know
they’ll come out with knives.
again…disrreagard these posts…someone is
having a great time screwing with the sight
…and the only one who loses is hearne because
it makes the site look so amatuer and bad.
I see, yeah you’re right…sorry sometimes they fool me with your name, I see someone used Chuck’s name as well…hey if that’s how they get their kicks…these guys would watch Tom Brady win the Super Bowl and write how lame he is, his wife is ugly and wow what a loser….it’s just the anger many have at still being on the planet after years of hard work, frustration and little reward….we all have some of that in us…so I understand to a point.
no glazer isn’t blind. I am.
Know what I mean.
I’m old. Got to wear those $4 glasses from cvs. Or is that csv?
I’m getting old and weary.
Whateva
I can’t help it. Too much you know what.
SO that when i try to read the comments i have to get
up right to the tv screen to read the words.
I guess that comes with getting old.
What is a guy gonna do?
Just my opinion.
I understand. Just fading away.
her ssister was alott wilder than samantha but wayyyy better looking. laurie was a real ggood time!!!!!! she was a blow hound! i met this one about 8 2 10 yeears ago. she had a personalty like a rock. cann she talk nnow?
Harley not sure I was looking at her personality…
P.S. I think we have posted some of KC’s finest..from blondes to black babes to well you name it….I’d put all of my gals up against top players top ten and win or be no worse than a tie…those are guys 20 years my junior or more…they don’t call me the KING FOR NOTHING…Super dork.
King of what, sleeze?
The guy that the women leave faster than it takes me to have a glass of 18 year Macallan Scotch on ice.
the girrls that we both no that yyou wwent ot with call you little thing not king. but if you if you grt hitched with samanttha shee cn be caled ms king kingg glaxer
Nothing quite like banging the staff and getting your money’s worth out of them, eh?
😉
You guys kill me, nothing helps bring out the beasts in you all like the babes in toy land….BABES….Harley and I thought we were tight…damn…some wingman you are…Super Dave…Hearne told me all bout you…damn.
HC: Craig is a little mixed up. I have no idea who Super Dave is.
I know he doesn’t he can’t think that far back. He has proved that more than once. Then maybe he doesn’t want to admit he does?
Amazing,
Lets over look the completely unethical aspect of dating your employee’s. Lets overlook the fact that she doesn’t really look like Brooke Shields. Lets over look the fact that the sweater is probably covering up the muffin top. Lets stop for a second and consider that “the kiss and tell”, self posturing, shameless marketing of bad books, bad movies, and a comedy club that really people go to cause they can grab some free tickets is just starting to get really old and tired. There is the sports but I can catch the same opinions on a few dozen media outlets. Kinda like 98.9 The Rock. Tired worn out and way to predictable YAWN!!! If it wasnt’ for the comments there would really be nothing here to read. Except to get me to doze off.. night !!
I think I’m going to throw up.
Keep it in ’till ye gets yer sea legs!!!!
Arrrggh!
i tried to do that. Didn’t work. Oh well.
Know what I mean
They say old men just fade away.
I agree. I’m fading away.
quickly.
Whateva.
I guess that’s what happens to lonely
tv repairmen.
Whateva.
From my nightly blog log:
Bobby Kennedy and Brooke Shields – groovy!
And this crazy girl Laurie from some “B” movie
Made up in Canada … probably her last,
Not to mention yet another Hottie from the Past,
And even a couple of dudes from the “Chelsea” cast.
So was I impressed? Well, no, but at least Scribe’s havin’ a blast!
Canada “Dry” (somewhere North of the Border, circa 1995)
There he sits, all alone at the bar,
Girlfriend’s dead, done in by Stallone;
Billy LoneBear, better go home …
At least you’ve got a friend in The Star!
Billy Lonebear!!!! 🙂
Only in Canada, EH!!!!!
Good job boys.
Your stories and our comments are solid gold,
solid gold I tell ya!
thanks
Glazer. In my day when I had hair and had a real job I could outdo you and
your women. It was only when I lost my hair and went bald that I started taking propecia and my thing went completely limp.
In the day when I was a bouncer I had more ladies than you dreamed of.
Now that I’m older I just have to get my kicks writing on this site.
Glazer you’re nothing in my book.
Just saying.
I used to have the charm. But growing old made me slow down.
Now I just play with my guns and think about all the women I had.
You’re nothing glazer. In my day I could make your girls look like pigs.
Just saying.
Just my opinion.
I don’t think this is Chuck, he is too classy a guy for that kind of talk…so Chuck I know its fake. What we have here as always Chuck is a few guys who are just so full of anger at their own lives…so anytime there is a nice looking girl in the story or anything fun,positive or the like…it all tumbles out…over and over again….
Here was a simple story about Chris Franjola, an excellent comic and true talent, a couple lines about a girl I knew ten years ago who came back to town and went out with me…we had fun, that’s all….she surely is pretty and sweet..no need for all the violent, anger comments from the same few people.
I didn’t write that Craig.
I am a bald fat guy though.
I was never a bouncer, I am too small and harmless.
I am pretty old too.
Have a nice day.
🙂
I didn’t write that Craig. I wrote it. I write
all kinds of weird stuff.
Know what I mean.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I’m schizophrenic.
And so am I.
you’re just a looney dude like the cartoon chuck!
Craig, it would be much appreciated if you continue to have the girls you write about appear in bikini’s or less. Thanks.
Yeah I was dating this babe at one point who had a D cup which made her perfect for this C+ film I was coproducing at the time with Howie Long and Dante Basco (Rufio from “hook” — classy guy, GREAT with the ladies). it was a low grade thriller kind of a “boy meets girl” tale except set on the high seas. We got permission from the original schlitter bahn in texas to film the motorboat chase on the roaring river ride, but you couldn’t even tell it wasn’t the Ganges the rapids were so realistic. We used to camp out in the parking lot and tell ghost stories sometimes flip through some adult magazines and point out the babes we had been with or would inevitably get with after our next sting. This was before I started wearing prescription eyesight shades over the back of my head like the guy in line at Subway who doesn’t even get off his nextel flip phone when he places his order. Howie and I had some great times on the set of “Firestorm” where he brought me in as a consultant for how to play a believable state convict. We’d pick up babes from the local high school and take them out for ice cream, no big deal but hey you try a stunt like that at my age. I would post pix but in those days you had to go to a one hour photo and wait two weeks. which hardly makes sense but again, what have YOU ever done with your LIFE!? Right now I’m dating a nurse anesthetiticissts who has great tatas (hey, you cant spell anesthetitist without “tits”). I took her out for tapas one night and she told me I was the cutest harriest old monkey she ever saw. but I think that’s not 2 bad considering I just celebrated my 54th high school reunion last June at shawnee mission high school. God those were the days.
+10!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I dont care WHO YOU ARE, thats some funny stuff there! You could be the REAL HARLEY and I’d still give you mad props for that piece of prose!!
Hiiiiiilarious!
Thanks for the lunch time smile.
TOby, youre the kind of guy I’d like to party with. My names Paul, but my friends call me Psycho, call me Paul, I’ll KILL ya!
IIIIIIIIICCCCEEEEEEEE CREEEEEEEEEEAAAAAMMMMM!!!
🙂
Defend what exactly?
Excellent job, well thought out…quite funny…Hearne called me on this one to read it cause it was so good. It is…
Thats was worth the time to read there.. Mad props !!
Where’s Ranger Danger? I’ve been waiting for him to come to his own, I mean Glazer’s, defense.
So what if we went out for ICE CREAM!?!?!?!?!
It was super yummy!!!
Yes, it’s a parody (and a quite ridiculous one at that), not an attack he needs to defend. Say what you will about Mr. Glazer and his wild ways — the man can take a joke.
I have to agree with TOby, Glazer needs a thick skin considering some of the comments here. By the way, I think she looks pretty good!
walt thee onne picture iss ok but the oone where shez standing in front of the car is a bit scary!!!!!!
On closer examination, you have a point there Harley. Maybe CG should have left that pic out.