Leftridge: Local Man Who Wrote Letter to Glass Buys Banner

David Glass, preparing to pluck a fish from a stream with his razor-sharp talons

Meet Joe Accurso. You might remember Joe from such exploits such as “The Guy Who Wrote the Letter to David Glass That Was Published in the Kansas City Star.”

I initially shared my feelings about Joe’s efforts here, on this very website.

If you’re disinclined to read old stuff I’ve already spewed, here was the gist of what I said: nice idea, not the greatest execution. Only, you know, I took 1,000 words to say it because I tend to be a long-winded, rambling gasbag. It’s probably because I get paid by the word (not really. I don’t).

In any case, I said, “Joe, you’re a passionate man and blah blah blah, but who reads the paper anymore? What did you hope to accomplish? Why not some sort of digital petition? Why not stage some sort of walkout like Kietzman did 13 years ago? THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED!” or whatever.

Well, Joe had more than one plan up his sleeve, as various friends were all too happy to tell me in the comments section of the story AND through various forms of social media (small world: a friend of mine who happened to share my story on Facebook happens to be friends with Joe’s sister. Joe’s sister, not surprisingly and completely understandably—was quick to jump to his defense. We had a civil chat about it all. Nice lady.)

Anyway, someone directed me to Joe’s slightly skeletal website, which can be found here.

Example banner.

Here’s the exciting part: the 2^nd initiative of Joe’s plan—No More Glass Part Two: Accurso’s Revenge, if you will—has received proper funding through Paypal donations and will be enacted before the Chiefs’ home opener tomorrow. A pilot—presumably not Joe himself, as I do not think he is a pilot—will fly a plane over the tailgate good-times with a banner reading “Cash Out Glass” and then Joe’s website address.

 See, now this is good stuff.

It’s not as cool as a flyover during the ACTUAL game, when 80,000 people will be sitting in the stands enjoying the game, and millions more might be watching on television, but, as Joe points out on the site, “post 9/11 regulations prohibit flights over stadiums DURING games.”

He’s working with what he’s got, and for his passion and commitment, I commend him.

And he’s not even DONE, ladies and gentlemen!

For his third act, he plans to buy ANOTHER banner and handout 250 “Cash Out Glass” t-shirts at a future Royals game. Currently, the website indicates that he’s 30% away from his $2,900 goal.

 Good stuff, Joe.

Realistically, we all know that this won’t make a bit of difference. No matter how much gentle prodding or soft-protestation is inflicted upon David Glass, he won’t suddenly decide to sell the team. He’s an eagle-faced dick whose love for money is unsurpassed by anything else, including winning.

I guess it’s something, though.

Perhaps it’s akin to pointing out the saturated fat grams on a box of Twinkies to a husky kid who just gobbled down 8 packs; he already ate them so it doesn’t really matter now, but maybe in the future he’ll be a little more cautious.

Maybe Glass will begin taking this whole, “baseball team ownership thing” a bit more seriously.

He’s already better about spending money than he used to be—in Latin America, in the draft (before slotting rules took effect last year) and even on the free agent market. Therefore, it’s becoming painfully obvious that he’s not paying good people to decide where this money should be spent.

Maybe for Joe’s next feat, he should spend a little time convincing Dayton Moore to stop drafting shitty pitchers and while he’s at it, find out if there’s some sort of scientific reason that our un-shitty pitchers end up blowing out their elbows in unison, as though they all made some sort of devilish pact to be assholes.

 I guess that’s a little much to fit on a banner, though.