Talk about 100 minutes of hell…
You cannot go to a movie these days without sitting through a primer on cellphone etiquette. You know, about how texting is wrong – terribly wrong.
Here’s what you can do though:
And that’s go to a movie or promotional screening, like last night’s The Odd Life of Timothy Green. You can walk into the theater, take a seat, carefully turn off your cell phone and then sit back and…listen for 104 minutes nonstop to yelling, screaming babies.
Which is what went down last night at AMC’s Leawood Town Center.
“There were like five babies at the screening last night,” says Fox 4 movie critic Shawn Edwards. “It was the craziest thing ever. I sat right next to one. I mean and everybody gets so upset about people bringing their cellphones to a movie, but that baby thing was worse.”
Far worse, according to the critics who spent more time critiquing the annoying babies than the movie on their way out of the theater afterwards.
“It was terrible,” Edwards says. “I mean, has the babysitting industry gone out of business? They should be outlawed, they should be banned. I’d rather have people smoke in a theater next to me than bring a baby and I’m not a smoker.”
Edwards misadventure in baby sitting went down at ultra close range.
“It was crazy,” he says. “And I know I’m getting old because I was kind, I didn’t say anything.”
How bad was it?
“The movie was 104 minutes long and the baby cried for 63,” Edwards says. “And there were at least four other babies literally. All crying. And it was like coordinated with them all crying at like the same time, it was like a baby orchestra.”
Did any of the offending parents take them out to the lobby until they stopped crying?
“No, not one baby left the theater the entire time,” Edwards laments. “It was like watching a movie in Romper Room”
What about AMC security?
Did text busting ushers ride to the rescue to silence the little lambs?
“Yeah, right. Nobody works in a movie theater anymore,” Edwards says. “And if they do, they’re like 16. Yeah, it was the attack of the babies yesterday and the babies were not messing around, man.”
Edwards advice to baby bringing moviegoers:
“If you have a baby, man, I’m sorry, you can’t go,” he says. “I’m not the movie grinch, but there’s not a baby on the planet that’s not going to cry at a movie.. Babies don’t belong at movie theaters. It’s like people who can’t dance don’t belong at discos.
Edwards is a critic for Fox 4 who is working like mad on Kansas City’s upcoming Urban Film Fest September 7, 8 and 9 at Screenland Crossroads and Bartle Hall.
“And you know what?” he says of the fest. “No babies allowed. It’s not designed for babies.”
Kids that can’t behave do not belong in movie theaters. Parents that do not take their screaming and crying children outside of the auditorium do not belong there either. Either hire a babysitter or take the kid outside so you do not disrupt other people.
New rule: If you are at a free movie screening, you are not allowed to complain.
Old rule: Don’t bring your baby to the movie theater, especially to a free movie.
I saw Dark Knight Rises Sunday night at 10pm. A couple brought their sleeping toddler in. He slept during the whole movie. I barely noticed he was there.
Maybe parents should bring their babies to late movies, when the babies are more tired.
Why subject your child to that kind of aural and visual assault when it is well past their bedtime? Are people really that desnse and self-absorbed these days that common f-ing sense eludes them?
amen
Some of these self absorbed people think their kid is God’s gift to the world and others go to a movie to listen to their kid scream. These same people take their children to restaurants and let them run around the restaurant screaming and making messes while they ignore them. If you object to their kid dominating your evening, you are just mean and hate children. God forbid they either wait until their kid is old enough or when they are, make some attempt to teach them how to act in a civilized manner.
I don’t know, Mike, but it’s hard to teach an infant baby how to behave.
I think the onus is on the parents first not to drag babies to movies. And second, why did the movie people let them in? I heard AMC blamed the babies being there on the studio that rented the theater for the promotional screening.
Whatever happened to, just say no?
My point was to not take them either it they are too young which would probably be any child around 2 years old or below, or also not take any child who can’t sit down and watch the movie without ruining it for others. Kids should also be trained to behave in a sit down restaurant if they are to be taken to one. Actually in a restaurant, babies are usually less of a nuisance than some of the other kids as they can’t run all over the restaurant.
That’s true. But restaurants are usually noisy places.
I understand that up to a point but kids should still stay in their seats and not run around like they are at a playground. They should also not scream at the top of their lungs continuously. Some parents seem to confuse disipline with abuse and lets their children do anything they want at other people’s expense.
Couple of points from the peanut gallery. Studios use these free tickets to get the the ‘target audience’ in the door in an attempt to build buzz with opinion leaders within those in that target. For a movie like TIM GREEN, take a wild guess who the target audience is; families with KIDS.
The theatre in the picture, btw, isn’t AMC. They use red.
Oh, and if the dude from channel 4 is a real critic, he should be going to the trade screening. usually held at 10am. No kids allowed.
Other than that, I hate kids in movies and people texting.
Well this is Edwards we are talking about here, movie critic whore extraodinaire. Could probably be bought for a $10 gift certificate at Chili’s.
I don’t know, dude.
Shawn thought this movie totally sucked whereas Jack liked it. So I hardly think he whored out for this one.
Well, sometimes they have critics screenings and sometimes they don’t and mix them in with the general public at promotional screenings. And sometimes critics can’t make the critics screenings and have to catch a public one.
It cuts all of those ways.
However in this case the critics were sent to Monday’s screening and were out in force. Including The Star.