Jack Goes Confidential: ‘American Reunion, ‘Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda But Didn’t

AMERICAN REUNION– Scene # 1: Jason Biggs and Alyson Hannigan are now married with child and their union has turned stale…

He’s sitting on the bed rubbing one off into a tube sock while watching porn on his laptop.

Ooops, the young son walks in on him.

Scene # 2: Mom is taking a bath and giving her vag a workout with the handheld showerhead. You guessed it, the kid walks in on her as well.

So begins the 8th slice of American Pie which, at best, has become a bit stale since since its debut in 1999.

But credit AMERICAN PIE with jump starting the modern shock-humor romps which have flourished since with the likes of THE HANGOVER, BRIDESMAIDS and SUPERBAD.

Yeap, there’ve been seven lewd ‘pies’ to date – three theatricals and four that went direct to video.
 
Now as Universal resurrects what they hope will become an enduring mini-franchise, we find all of the original cast members back on the screen. Lifelong friends—and some not so—coming home to East Great Falls as harmonial adults reminicing and recharging their batteries.
 
Even widowed dad Eugene Levy ends up getting a little action!

But much of the material plays forced and tired. We’ve seen it all before. MANY TIMES BEFORE.

And a particularly gross-out scene that has Stifler taking a dump into an unsuspecting enemy’s food/drink cooler (with the expected results) really doesn’t add a helluva lot to the proceedings.

Thanks, but no thanks here to the film’s new production team which comes to the Pie series from the Harold and Kumar comedies.
 
But give credit where credit is due. Sean William Scott as Stifler is the glue that’s holding this rather limp flick together.
 
And speaking of Stifler—actually his mom who hooks up with Eugene Levy—in one of the funniest scenes goes down (literally) within the film’s end credits.

The two are having a movie date at the local theater. He’s enjoying a large box of popcorn. She starts moving south and—-well let’s just say the scene gives an all new meaning to the term "bottomless popcorn box."
 
Did I laugh? Occasionally.
 
But with a running time of just under two hours, the filmmakers could’ve easily trimmed the reunion by a good 20 minutes.
 
AMERICAN REUNION co-starring Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Chris Klein, Tara Reid, Seann William Scott, Mena Suvari, Jennifer Coolige and Eugene Levy takes a small bite out of the pie, barely raising 2-1/2 out of 5 limp fingers.

JACK GOES TO THE MOVIES Friday mornings at 6:40 a.m. on NewsRadio KMBZ Am & Fm and anytime on Time-Warner Cable’s K.C. ON DEMAND, Channel 411.